Regrets and Reconciliations
by Junebugsm
Summary: Stef Foster is looking for the little girl she gave up for adoption twelve years ago. Lena Adams wants to adopt the young girl that has no one. What happens when both women come face to face in a battle for the same child?
1. Chapter 1

**Stef Foster is looking for the little girl she gave up for adoption twelve years ago. Lena Adams wants to adopt the young girl that has no one. What happens when both women come face to face in a battle for the same child?**

(A story mildly inspired by the book **The Gift by Danielle Steel**. I am not a doctor so I apologize for any medial errors - the story is just for entertainment.)

* * *

Fifteen year old Stephanie Foster was every parents' dream - she was smart, talented and a born leader. Having skipped the sixth grade entirely she was the youngest in her class at Hillside Academy, San Fransisco and was well on her way to Yale Law School. She just had one more year and then her dream of studying law on the other side of the country - far, far away from her parents - would finally come true.

"It'll be fun Stef." Jessica said to her best friend as the two of them sat on Stef's bed with books open in front of them, studying for finals.

"I don't have the time." Stef argued as she concentrated on the calculous in front of her.

"It's on the last day of school, there won't be homework due for two months." Jess said giving Stef a look that told the blond that she wasn't taking 'no' for an answer.

"Fine." Stef sighed with a roll of her eyes, eliciting an excited squeal from her friend. "We can go to the party but we aren't drinking and I'm _not_ getting in the pool." Stef warned firmly and sighed again when Jess seemed to just ignore her terms.

* * *

Two weeks later Stef was sitting awkwardly on a pool chair as she watched the kids from her high school make their way around the backyard of Lindsey Grant, the richest, most popular girl in school. She wasn't sure what she was really doing here or how she'd let Jess talk her into coming but one thing she was certain of was that she didn't belong. All about her kids were laughing and talking and drinking god knows what out of red solo cups and she was sitting rather rigidly hoping to catch a glimpse of her best friend who had abandoned her mere moments after entering the party.

"It's a party not a doctor's office." A voice pulled Stef out of her thoughts.

She looked up to find Ted Armstrong looking down at her with his piercing blue eyes and all she wanted to do was comb her fingers through his brown curls - much like every other girl in school.

"Here, have a drink, it'll loosen you up a little." Ted said, offering her a cup filled with the mystery drink.

Stef hesitated only a moment before she finally took the cup and took a sip letting the strong liquid burn her throat on it's way down. Two more cups later and all Stef could think about was the boy currently naked on top of her and the agreement that maybe, while she had been involved in every aspect of school life, she was still missing out on a whole lot more.

* * *

Stef was crying copiously as she watched her father drive away while an elderly but kindly nun led her into the church where she would be staying for the last five months of her pregnancy. One stupid mistake four months ago had completely ruined her life and as Stef lay in the strange, bare room at the Abbey she couldn't stop replaying the events in her head.

It felt like it was just yesterday that she held the stick with shaking hands willing the double lines to disappear but even after she'd wiped away the tears that blurred her vision the stick still read positive - she was pregnant. Telling her parents had been the most terrifying thing she'd ever had to do. The father didn't stop yelling for days and her mother wouldn't stop crying as she repeatedly mumbled her disappointment in how her daughter had ruined her life along with their reputation. Of course the prestigious scandal-free school Stef attended refused to allow a pregnant girl among their precious students and so Stef had to stop attending classes though they did agree to allow her to continue the work at home and give the exams in a private room.

Her father's decision about Stef's pregnancy and the baby's future had been the hardest for the moment he mentioned _church_ she knew that nothing good could come out of it.

 _"Do you really think you are capable of looking after a baby?" Her father asked condescendingly._

 _"You could help me." Stef suggested back between sobs._

 _"Don't bring me into this scandal young lady." Her father warned angrily. "Besides, what about Yale? You think you can pass the BAR with a baby on your hip? Are you really willing to throw all your dreams away and destroy a child's life in the process?" He asked rhetorically._

 _Stef knew that her father's wasn't really looking for an answer, especially from her. Her opinion had no place at the moment and she just didn't have the guts to stand up to him._

 _"No, you will go stay with the nuns until the baby is born and then they will find the baby a good home and you can come back, finish high school and carry on with your life. You are really lucky that you're getting a second change so don't you dare mess it up again."_

Stef knew better than to argue and so she nodded her head in acceptance and now, four months later she was here wondering if that night really was worth all this. If she were truly being honest with herself she would admit that she hadn't really even been turned on in the first place and whether that was due to the alcohol in her system or something entirely different - she didn't know.

* * *

Stef had cried a lot over the last nine months - more than she'd ever cried in her life but she was positive that even those nine months had nothing on this moment as she watched the nurse hand her beautiful baby girl off to a nun to be given away for good. She had been allowed a mere fifteen minutes with her and in those precious moments Stef tried to memorize every single detail of the tiny bundle in her arms; she whispered every dream, hope and wish she could have for her daughter and apologized to her more times than she could count but all too soon the time was up and Stef knew that once the baby turned the corner she would never lay eyes on her again.

The only saving grace Stef could draw strength from was the fact that the nuns had found a good family for her daughter. She wasn't ever given their name for it was against the rules but they had assured her that this family was good and would love the little girl as if they bore her themselves. If she dared to hope for just one thing it was that her daughter would grow up loved and happy - the rest, as the nun often told her, lay in God's hands.

* * *

 ** _~Ten Years Later~_**

Lena Adams smiled at the young girl that just entered her fifth grade class. The girl looked small for her age and wore a medical bracelet around her wrist but other than that she looked just like any other kid in the class.

"Welcome Callie." Lena smiled as she walked up to the girl and introduced her to the rest of the kids. "This is Callie Jacob and she will be joining us. I'd like you be friendly and show her around please."

Callie took a seat to one side and sat quietly as Lena continued on with her lesson on _Number the Stars_ and soon Lena was pulled back into her lesson and basically forgot about the girl. It wasn't until the bell rang for recess that Lena's attention once again came back to the new child in her class.

"Aren't you going to play outside?" Lena asked when Callie was the only one still sitting in the classroom while all the other kids were out on the swings or climbing on the monkey bars.

"I can't." Callie answered. "I'm not allowed to exercise." She explained. She was used to it for every year - sometimes twice a year - Callie found herself in a new place; with a new family and in a new school - answering the same questions over and over again.

"Why not?" Lena asked as she took a seat beside the girl and smiled.

"My heart won't take it." Callie answered. "There's a problem with it." The lack of feeling with which the child gave her the explanation make Lena's stomach tighten. She couldn't imagine being ten years old and never being allowed to play or run or jump. She wondered what this girls life was really like and decided to find out for herself what really was going on.

Lena took Callie's hand and gently pulled her up. "You're allowed fresh air aren't you?" She asked teasingly and then led the girl out to the playground where they could at least sit and watch the kids play and even though Callie couldn't join in she was soon laughing and smiling at the comments that her teacher was making about all the silly thing the other kids were doing.

* * *

"Seventeen surgeries!" Lena said in alarm as she looked through Callie's file and talked with her social worker. It had surprised Lena to find that Callie was a foster child that was just placed with her twenty-sixth family.

"The walls of her heart are weak and thin and can can just barely pump hard and fast enough to supply blood to her body. Any kind of strenuous activity could result in anything from dizziness to a heart attack or even death." The social worker explained. "I'm doing the best I can for her but no one wants a kid with medical conditions this serious. I only ever manage to find her temporary homes but after a few months they want her gone."

Lena felt like crying as she listened to the social worker explain how Callie had nearly died twice - once when she was just two and her foster family took her to a playground and the second time when she was seven and was beaten by her foster father for being too _needy_.

"Finding her homes is not easy." The social worker justified. "I try to find good homes and make sure the parents understand the situation but it's hard. Every six months they have to go in and basically encourage the heart to grow more tissue. The bigger she gets the more dangerous it is. She's lucky she's a puny little thing."

Lena wondered if that was really true or if it was just a result of her homelessness and lack of proper care that kept the child from growing much. At least the girl seemed basically happy for the time being but she knew it wouldn't last long for the social worker had already informed her that the family was only keeping her till the end of the year - and that was just five months away. Lena vowed to make that time special for she had never seen anything more beautiful than Callie's smile.


	2. Chapter 2

"To Foster and Scott!" Maxwell Scott said proudly as everyone at the firm held up their champagne glasses. "I didn't doubt for a moment that we would win and we owe it all to our girl Stef."

Stef blushed but looked proud as everyone raised their glasses to her. She had worked hard on this case and it had been a huge boost to their firm. Winning this case really put them on the map and she knew that from now on their name would be said with pride and strength.

"You did it babe." Max said to his partner as he took her aside for a moment of privacy. The two had met at Yale their freshman year and been practically best friends through college and law school. They had both gotten jobs at different law firms until just a year before when they came together to begin their own practice. With some financial help from their wealthy parents the two put together a team of relatively new but very determined lawyers and soon Foster and Scott was formed. Now, after after a number of wins and and equal number of losses the firm had finally gotten it's foot well in the door by winning a major case involving over a quarter of a million dollars and everyone at the firm was ecstatic.

" _We_ did it." Stef corrected. While she was aware that she had a major role to play in winning this fight, she didn't want the credit. A win for her was a win for the firm. "I may have been the one up there but we all put in the work."

"Well that may be true but you still deserve this." Max said as he pulled out a very expensive looking jewelry box from his coat pocket and handed it to her.

"This better not be a ring." Stef warned as she took the box with a smile. It was no secret that Max was in love with her. Several times through the years he'd asked her out but each time she had said that she just wasn't interested. Her single goal had been to get the best education she could. And he had no reason not to trust her for she had never seemed to date anyone. A couple of boys passed through but none stuck around for more than a week or two and Stef just seemed content with her life the way it was.

"Please, I'm not a glutton for punishment." Max teased. "There's only so many times a man can be turned down."

"Do me a favor and don't let our clients hear you say that." Stef teased back as she opened the box to find a beautiful pair of sapphire earrings. "Max." Stef said in disbelief. "This is too much."

"It's not." Max assured, looking squarely into Stef's eyes. "You deserve them."

For the life of her Stef couldn't think of anything to say and so she settled for the simplest yet most meaningful response. "Thank you."

Max smiled back before glancing around at the party. "We did it babe." He said proudly. "We have everything we ever wanted."

Stef smiled back as well for her goal had finally been reached however there was a part of that statement that didn't hold true for Stef for there was one thing she'd been missing for ten years - her little girl. Stef knew that she needed to find the child before she ever truly believed that her life was complete.

* * *

 ** _~Four Months Later~_**

"What do you mean she's switching schools?" Lena asked aghast as she sat in front of Callie's social worker. "She's just been here for four months."

"The family can't keep her any more, the stress is just too much for them. They want her moved before Thanksgiving." The social worker explained sadly. He knew that Callie and her teacher had become very close - close enough for the girl to actually have sleepovers and tea parties with the woman.

"So where will you put her?" Lena asked. She had fallen madly in love with the young child and while there was definitely a gentle, frail side to Callie there was also a wild and fierce one as well.

"For now she's going to the children's hospital for a night or two." The social worker explained. "We don't have a place for her yet so the hospital is the safest one. A group home is too dangerous with her condition."

"And then what?" Lena questioned.

"Then we see." The social worker said. "Not many people want a kid that has trouble just walking up and down the stairs every day."

"I want her." Lena said surprising everyone in the room including herself. She took a moment for her own words to sink in but once they did she knew that she was making the right decision. "What do I have to do to foster her?"

"Ms. Adams, you really need to think about this." The social worker said. "Callie is a very dependent child. I know you've spent a fair amount of time with her so you know that but having her full time is a whole different ball game. She has surgeries and medical requirements and a very strict diet."

"What do I have to do?" Lena asked firmly.

"You will need a fostering license, that can take two to three weeks. It includes a home inspection, background checks and family history and because of Callie's condition you will also need to take a first aid course as well as a brief study of her condition." The social worker explained.

"And yet she has been placed in abusive homes before." Lena mocked bitterly.

"I wasn't always her social worker." The man said. "I have tried my very best with Callie but it's not always easy."

"I know, I'm sorry." Lena apologized. "I just hate what this poor kid's going through."

"Are you serious about fostering her?" The social worker asked.

"Absolutely." Lena replied. "I already love her."

"Then let's get started." The man replied with a genuine smile.

* * *

"I'm really coming to live with you?" Callie asked excitedly.

"Yes." Lena replied with a smile. "Your current foster family has agreed to keep you until my license comes through in a couple of weeks and then you move in with me."

"I can't wait." Callie said happily as she wrapped her arms around her teacher. "Thank you Ms. Adams. I don't know how long you'll foster me for but this is going to be the best home ever."

Lena couldn't help but wonder the same thing for even though she hadn't ever actually lived with the child she had already fallen in love with her and had often thought about adopting her.

* * *

"What do you mean they didn't keep her?" Stef asked in surprise. She was sitting in front of the now elderly nun at the Abbey where she'd stayed through the end of her pregnancy and had politely but firmly ordered them to give her the details of her daughter's adoption.

"She had a condition…" The nun began.

"What condition?" Stef interrupted her. "What was wrong with her?"

"Her heart was very weak." The nun explained. I didn't know much, all I know was that she required special care and the family changed their minds."

"So where did she go?" Stef questioned, a fist in a tight ball as she refrained from punching the woman.

"Foster care." The nun replied. "I lost track of her after that."

"So why wasn't I informed?" Stef asked angrily. "Why wasn't she given back to me?"

"You were a minor and you parents did not wish for the child in your care." The nun explained.

"This is bullshit." Stef replied angrily. "You have no idea what happened to my daughter or if she's even alive? You can't even tell me what the problem with her heart really was?"

"That's all I know, I'm sorry." The nun sympathized. "Maybe the hospital can help you further."

Stef huffed and walked away more determined than ever to find the child. She had to know for herself that the girl was okay.


	3. Chapter 3

**_~Six Months Later~_**

"And when some of the other people kept telling my foster father how unfortunate it was that I was disabled and he just got so mad at me and then that night I was too tired to climb the stairs to bed and so he hit me for not being normal." Callie explained one night. "They made me learn exercises and tactics to slow my heart down. I have to sit down, stop and take deep breaths, count slowly to ten and sip on some water if I can."

"What about other homes?" Lena asked curiously. She had been learning so much about the girl over the last six months and while everything hadn't been all unicorns and rainbows Lena couldn't understand why any family would refuse to allow Callie to stay with them for any length of time. Yes, the girl needed supervision and care but she wasn't a trouble maker and she didn't ask for much; her basic medical needs were taken care of by the state and in every other aspect she was just like any other ten year old around - she wanted to watch movies, hated doing homework and craved any sort of love and attention she could get.

Callie shrugged as she finished coloring the tail of a horse. "Some were okay, others weren't." She answered very diplomatically. "One foster mom was really nice, she would bake me cookies; the kind without sugar so that I didn't get too worked up and my heart wouldn't race."

"What happened with her? Why were you moved?" Lena asked. Not all of Callie's homes were bad, in fact a majority of them seemed to genuinely like Callie so she didn't really understand why none of them seemed to work out.

"After she had to rush me to the hospital for the third time I think she just gave up." Callie answered. "They wanted a more normal kid."

"So only one foster father ever hurt you?" Lena confirmed.

"Only one ever hit me like that." Callie corrected. "I had a family that refused to do anything beyond the basics once. I was only five so I was moved really fast. And one foster mother insisted that she could cure me by making me exercise and eat healthy. That home didn't last long either."

"It must have been hard, moving around so much." Lena sympathized as she watched Callie's coloring get more vigorous as they talked.

"I got used to it." Callie answered without looking up. "The trick is to stay detached."

As Lena watched the child she realized just how grown up Callie seemed. She was talking as though she was in her late teens or early twenties instead of being just ten. She spoke as though she'd learned a lot from her experiences and had taught herself how to not let them affect her any more.

"I used to dream that my mother would just show up one day and tell me that it was all a mistake." Callie said, surprising Lena. "That she always wanted me but couldn't keep me. I guess I just always hated that she left me because of my heart."

"Sometimes people just aren't capable to deal with tough situations." Lena offered gently. "But I for one know at least one person that loves you to the moon and back and wouldn't trade you for the world."

Callie smiled wildly for she knew exactly who that person was. "I love you too Lena." She said sincerely. She had said those words to several foster parents before but she knew in her heart that she never meant it so much as she did now.

"So, I wanted to ask you something." Lena said, sounding somewhat nervous all of a sudden.

Callie looked up with a frown. She'd been down this road before - foster parents telling her how much they loved her just to inform her that it was time for her to move on.

"How would you feel about staying here forever?" Lena asked as she bit her bottom lip, waiting for an answer.

"Forever?" Callie asked in confusion. "Will the state allow that?"

"They will if I adopt you." Lena answered, studying Callie closely for her reaction.

"You want to adopt me?" Callie asked in surprise.

"I do." Lena smiled at the girl. "I want that very much. I love you Callie and I don't want anyone to ever take you away from me."

"You know that I'm sick right?" Callie confirmed, thinking that this was almost too good to be true.

"I know but I love you anyway and I want to be there for you though it all." Lena assured as she pulled the child up by the hand so that she could seat her on her lap. "What do you say?"

"YES!" Callie said immediately. "Yes, Yes, Yes."

* * *

"I can't believe you never told me any of this." Max said to Stef after she'd finally admitted to him about her personal infestation that kept her busy every free moment she had over the last six months.

"It's not something I'm proud of and honestly, it hurt each time I thought about it." Stef admitted out loud for the very first time. "My parents weren't exactly willing to talk about it either so I just learned to keep it to myself."

"That's awful." Max said sympathetically. "No kid should have to deal with something like that alone."

"Well imagine what that little girl must be dealing with." Stef said. "I don't know anything of what happened to her."

"What did you find out so far?" Max asked, hoping to help her out in the investigation.

"The family that was supposed to adopt her didn't because she had congenital heart failure. She went into foster care and was a patient at the hospital she was born in until she was eighteen months old but after that she went to a new family and they lost track of her as well. She was named Callie Jacob by the first family that was to adopt her but I can't find a record of her anywhere."

"Did you speak to any of these families?" Max asked, wondering if they could use their power to get some answers.

"No, the nun said that they wouldn't really know much anyway. Once she was out of their care they would have no information on her and all medical information I already got from the hospital." Stef admitted, feeling defeated.

"What about the social worker?" Max asked. "Can we not track her down through social services?"

"I don't know." Stef answered. "I wouldn't know were to being. I mean what do I say I want the social worker of Callie Jacob?"

"It's a start." Max offered. "It might be a long shot but it also might be your only chance."

Stef nodded but there was something in her eye that told Max that maybe things weren't that simple.

"What?" Max asked softly as he took Stef's hand in his own and gently brushed it with his thumb.

Stef looked up at him and he could see the dampness in her eyes. "What if she's dead?" Stef whispered her greatest fear. "What if she had a terrible life?"

Max didn't answer for there was no answer he could give. Nothing he said could possibly make things okay right now and so the only thing they could do was to finish the investigation and hopefully find the girl they were looking for.


	4. Chapter 4

**_~One Year Later~_**

"Feeling better honey?" Lena asked Callie as she gently stroked her hair while Callie breathed through an oxygen mask.

Callie nodded but she was still tired and fed up. Nothing seemed to be going right for her and she was beginning to believe that it never would. First she had to miss her class field trip to a chocolate factory; something she'd been looking forward to for weeks and all because she'd accidentally slipped in the shower and required bedrest for a day. Next she'd forgotten her book report at home on the day it was due and received an incomplete even though she'd begged Lena to go home and get it for her but Lena had refused stating that it was Callie's responsibility to remember these things and not every child had a parent in school to do special things for them.

The next thing to go wrong for Callie was her latest checkup with her doctor. Since she'd been living with Lena a year and a half ago she'd been to the same doctor consistently and that seemed to do really well for Callie's health. Without the constant change in Callie's treatments her heart had been given a real shot at responding to the treatment and her breathlessness, palpitations and dizziness had decreased considerably and Callie was starting to believe that maybe things would really get better now but just two days after the doctor had said that maybe they could wait a while before doing surgery since her heart seemed to be functioning well enough she collapsed because her heart was too tired to supply blood to her body. Within a day and a half the surgery was done and now Callie in the middle of exercises to see just how far her heart could go before it was pushed too far.

But all that was just an iota compared to what was really upsetting Callie and that was the fact that her adoption was taking forever. First the fact that Lena had never even fostered before meant that she had to complete a certain amount of time before she could apply for adoption and then the matter of Callie's health was a huge issue. The state had to make certain that Lena could meet Callie's needs and Callie's constant health problems often put spokes in the wheel. The first time the social worker was supposed to come over for a home inspection Callie was unwell and the second time she had to be hospitalized and so each time it was put off. Add that to the general chaos of the system and the process just kept getting pushed further and further.

"I think we can call it a day." Callie's doctor said with a smile as he noticed just how tired she was. "Go home and get your mother to make you your favorite meal okay."

Callie smiled in relief as she handed the mask back to the doctor and rested her head against the pillow. They had been doing this for forty minutes now and she just wanted to go to sleep. Even though the surgery strengthened her heart muscles she couldn't shake the feeling that she got more and more tired each time.

"Let's go home baby." Lena said, just as relieved as Callie to get her home. "Maybe if you're up for it we can have a movie marathon."

Callie nodded as she sat up and allowed Lena to help her out of Rady Children's Hospital for the first time in five days.

* * *

"Okay, I found a record of her at Mercy Hospital in San Diego from two years ago." The investigator said to Stef who looked up in anticipation. "It is a dead end because apparently she changed foster homes again but the doctor said she was doing well and only had one surgery under his care."

"Dead end?" Stef said in disappointment. "Why? Don't they have to forward records when she moves?"

"It's the foster system." The investigator reminded the woman. "We're lucky if the girls name follows her."

The investigator was trying to make a lame joke to cover up for the disappointment but Stef had just about had enough. For the last year she'd gotten just bits and pieces of her daughter's whereabouts and not even enough to imagine the whole picture.

"I AM NOT PAYING YOU TO FIND ME DEAD ENDS!" Stef yelled in frustration. "YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE BEST INVESTIGATOR IN ALL OF CALIFORNIA AND YOU CAN'T FIND ONE LITTLE GIRL THAT ISN'T EVEN TRYING TO HIDE?"

"It's not that simple." The man tried to explain. It wasn't that he didn't understand her desperation or that he didn't care it was just that records seldom followed these children an with Callie having been moved so much the fewer details were out there.

"WELL THEN WORK HARDER!" Stef screamed as she dismissed him with a wave of her hand.

The man waited a few moments before he walked out of her office leaving her alone. Stef walked over to the door and locked it ignoring the soft knock that she knew was Max as she slid down to the ground and cried just as much as she had the day she'd given up her baby.

* * *

~Five Months Later~

"WE HAVE A DATE!" Lena said like an excited five year old on Christmas as she hung up the phone and turned to her daughter. "Two weeks from Thursday."

"For my adoption?" Callie asked cautiously though her eyes were filled with hope.

"Yes." Lena smiled widely as she wrapped her arms around Callie and hugged her tight. "He said everything seems to be in order and nothing should stop it now."

"Oh My God!" Callie squealed. "It will be the best birthday present ever."

"I can't believe my baby is going to be twelve in just a month." Lena said. She felt like Callie was growing up way too fast and the fact that she'd only had her for two years made that time seem to go even faster.

"I can't believe I'm finally going to be Callie Adams." Callie said excitedly. "It's my only dream."

"Well you're going to have to find a new dream soon kiddo." Lena smiled back, waiting for the day just as much as her daughter.

* * *

~Two Weeks Later~

"I got her." The investigator say excitedly as he barged into Stef's office without even knocking. He was just too excited with his news to care about formalities.

Stef, in the middle of a meeting with a client, Max and two other people from her team, immediately ushered the man out so that they could talk and Max followed her for support.

"What?" She asked in disbelief. "You fought her?" She confirmed.

"Callie Jacob, born July 11, 2005." The investigator confirmed as he set a file down in front of Stef. "She's living with a woman in San Diego. Been there for two years and she wants to adopt her.

"Is she okay?" Stef asked the most important question.

"Seems to be." The man replied. "Nothing major besides her regular heart troubles."

"And the woman she lives with wants to adopt her?" Stef questioned sadly.

"Yes." The man replied. "The hearing is tomorrow."

"Can we stop it?" Stef asked worriedly, wondering if she was going to miss her chance after all this time. She hadn't come all this way just to have her daughter given away. She wanted a chance to know her daughter, to tell her just how much she loved her and to make up for the lost twelve years.

"We can try." Max offered, knowing that the investigator wouldn't have knowledge of the system.

"Then do it." Stef ordered and watched Max walk off to see what could be done.

"What's her name?" Stef asked curiously.

"Lena Adams."

* * *

"Lena Adams." The lawyer said as Lena stood up when the procedure began.

Callie sitting beside her, their lawyer on the far end and the social worker and a few friends in the pews behind.

"And she is looking to adopt Ms…" The judge paused to read the name on his file. "Callie Jacob." He said.

"That's right your honor." The lawyer said. "Callie has been in the foster system since she was born and had been in almost twenty five foster homes before being placed in her current foster home two years ago."

"And Callie has Congenital Heart Disease?" The Judge confirmed.

"Yes, your honor." The lawyer said. "She has had several surgeries and that is what's prevented her from finding a home all this time."

"And Ms. Adams is aware of all this?" The judge asked Callie's social worker, making sure that all the facts were clear.

"Yes your honor." The social worker assured. "She will be a single mother but she has a steady job, has proven herself over the last two years and met with all of Callie's needs - medical and otherwise.

"Very well." The judge said satisfied. "Let us proceed." He stated just as the doors opened and a very well dressed man barged in and put a stop to the proceedings.


	5. Chapter 5

"Callie Jacob's biological mother wishes to get custody of the girl your honor." Max explained once proceedings began again.

"The mother had signed away her rights the day the baby was born your honor." Lena's lawyer defended, nervous that once again their goal would not be reached.

"She was in no position to raise a baby your honor." Max explained. "She did what she thought was best at the time."

"Stephanie Foster was wealthy, your honor. She was by no means lacking the funds to provide for a baby." Lena's lawyer stated firmly. The group had taken a short recess to get acquainted with the new situation and the moment Stef's name was brought up everyone knew who she was instantly. In the judicial world her name was rising fast and her firm was now one of the most coveted in the state.

"Her family was rich." Max corrected. "Stephanie Foster was only fifteen years old when she gave birth to her daughter and she knew that she was in no position to care for a baby. She did what she was told was in the best interest of the child."

"And there was no one in her family that could help her?" The judge questioned.

"Frank Foster was not very supportive of his daughter at the time sir." Max continued. "He had a strong standing in society and a reputation to uphold. His teenage daughter getting pregnant out of wedlock was not something he could accept and he believed that her future would be jeopardized if she kept the child and so he forced her to give the baby up for adoption. Stephanie was led to believe that a loving family was already appointed to adopt the baby and so she signed away her rights."

"So what happened to the family?" The judge continued his investigation curiously.

"Callie Jacob was born with a heart condition where the walls of the ventricles are thin and weak and struggles to pump blood sufficiently through her body. When the Jacobs were informed that Callie would need several surgeries and care as she grew up they changed their minds and Ms. Foster, being a minor, was not informed of their withdrawal." Max explained.

"And what changed between then and now?" The judge questioned. "What made Stephanie Foster look for her daughter when she believed that she was already adopted."

"Your Honor, Stephanie Foster was always under a lot of pressure from her parents." Max explained. "She was the daughter of a wealthy, prestigious insurance-man with a high reputation that she was forced to uphold. She did well in school and had tremendous potential. She made one mistake that resulted in heart-breaking consequences that forced everyone to do what they thought was best. Ms. Foster went to Yale and graduated valedictorian in her class, started up her own law firm at just twenty-six years of age and in the last year that company made a handsome turnover. For the first time Ms. Foster is wealthy in her own right and completely independent. She started up the career she had dreamed of all her life which should have given her a sense of satisfaction however there was one important thing missing in all that and that was her daughter."

Max could see everyone fidget uncomfortably as things got awkward. They weren't arguing about a child that was being abused or even neglected; they were talking about a child that was loved and cared for and was literally moments away from gaining a permanent home had it not been for his interruption and so he quickly further explained his statement.

"Ms. Foster was not looking to get her daughter back." Max clarified. "She believed that she had grown up happy and healthy in a loving home and simply wanted to see for herself and hoped that maybe she would be allowed to have some sort of a relationship with the child. When she found out that the child wasn't adopted by the family that took her she set out to find the missing child; unsure of whether she had found a home, was healthy or even alive for that matter. For two years we have been searching for the child and when we found out that she had been tossed from home to home for several years and had never been adopted Ms. Foster was determined to make things right. All she wants is a chance to get to know her daughter, apologize for the life that Callie lead due to her mistakes and set up things the way they should have been right from the start. Stephanie was also a minor when her daughter was born, not much older than Callie herself is now, and she was forced into this situation by her family and now all she wants is a chance to make things right." Max ended on an emotional note, hoping to sway the judge enough to give them a chance.

The judge looked around at everyone - he could see Lena and Callie both looking anxious at the prospect of another postponement however and as much as he wished for a happy ending he could not ignore the circumstances. Stephanie Foster was also a child when she gave birth and though she had signed away her rights it was clear that she hadn't done so willingly or with the correct information and so he did what he felt was in Callie's best interest.

"Adoptions are always a cause for celebration in any courtroom and every judge wants to see a child leave here with a permanent family. However sometimes the lines of families blur and a new definition of family is formed." He paused momentarily before delivering the news that everyone was waiting for. "In light of this new information I think it is in Callie's best interest to put this adoption on hold until everyone involved can get to know each other and decide what is best for the child. Callie Jacob will remain in Lena Adams' custody for now however Stephanie Foster will be granted visitation rights twice a week until further notice." The judge banged his gavel stating that his decision was final and then left, leaving Lena and Callie disheartened but Stef, who had snuck into a bench at the back, very relieved.


	6. Chapter 6

"I don't want to go to this stupid thing." Callie complained like a small child as she watched Lena make a variety of sandwiches. "Shouldn't I get to decide who I live with or who I spend time with?"

Lena took a moment to figure out exactly the right thing to say before attempting an answer. The truth was that she wished it was that simple as well - She and Callie had been together for two years now and absolutely everything was put into place for the adoption and she couldn't believe that this Stephanie Foster had been allowed to ruin it all. It wasn't as if Callie had been stolen from Stef or that custody had been taken away from her; no, Stef had given up her rights mere minutes after her daughter was born and now, after twelve years, she was back and destroying a family again.

But obviously Lena couldn't say that to her daughter for as much as she agreed with Callie's statement, neither of them could change the events that were about to take place and so she had to be diplomatic and make this the easiest transition she possibly could.

"I know it doesn't seem fair honey." Lena finally spoke as she focused on the tuna sandwich she was making. "I know this has come up really suddenly and it's thrown us all for a loop but maybe something good will come of this. I mean, she's your mother and you always said that you dreamed your mother would come looking for you one day.

"Yeah, it used to be a dream but now it's turning into a nightmare." Callie mumbled as she snagged the slice of cheese that Lena had just unwrapped. "Why now?" She asked rhetorically. "Why did she come back now when I have a mom? Why didn't she come looking for me when I had no one and needed my mother?"

Tears fell freely down Callie's face as Lena went to give her a sympathetic hug. "We'll just take it one day at a time okay." She offered. "And I promise that I won't ever let them take you without a fight."

* * *

Forty-five minutes later the two walked into the Botanic Garden where they were due to meet Stef for the very first time. Callie clutched tightly to Lena's hand while Lena held the bag that contained three types of sandwiches, some juice, sugar-free cookies and fruit. She figured that having things to eat would make this meeting just a little less awkward, or at least she hoped it would.

They had chosen this mutual spot instead of Lena's house or Stef's hotel room for it kept either party from having the advantage. The meeting had been set up between Max and Lena's lawyer and so the two women had yet to speak. Lena and read up on Stef the night before and she'd seen several pictures of her ranging from her first soccer match in middle school all the way up to the major battle she won in court a few weeks ago. There were pictures of Stef with her family, a classmates at Yale, her colleagues at Foster and Scott and even a few candid photographs of her with friends and in each and every one of those pictures Stef had looked like a glamorous movie star.

Lena was nervous as she walked towards the flower section where they had agreed to meet; a place Callie often liked to go. This woman was a first class lawyer with connections through the legal system; she was rich and practically famous and her family held a very high standing in California. Lena couldn't help but feel insecure when compared with this woman. It wasn't that Lena wasn't well educated or unpresentable. She always made sure she was well dressed and her family was simple but respectable. Her father owned a small repair shop that mended anything from furniture to electrical appliances to the broken toys that children often brought to him in tears. Her mother was a seamstress and her wedding present to any family member or friend was to sew the girl the dress of her dreams at absolutely no cost; and while Lena's own job was a modest one she enjoyed it immensely. She could have become a professor in a college or even started her own school if she wanted but her heart lay with the young children that she taught and she wanted to continue teaching them. College would have meant young adults instead of little children and her own school would have given her far too much administration work to get a chance to actually deal with the children. No, Lena didn't have the most prestigious job but she definitely wouldn't trade it for the world.

But still, in comparison to Stef and all her accomplishments right from he time she was in school made Lena feel just a tad inadequate and that feeling only intensified when she spotted Stef sitting in spotless white pants and a peach colored chiffon blouse. The woman was sitting on a park bench surrounded by dirt and still she managed to look like she was in the middle of a photoshoot. Her hair was left loose and not a strand seemed out of place and even from this distance Lena could tell that her makeup, though minimal, was applied flawlessly. Lena herself was wearing a long summer dress with strappy sandals and her hair was up in a bun on top of her head; a look she believed made her look a little more put together and just a little less wild.

Stef seemed to sense that she was being watched and so she looked up directly towards Lena and Callie and the moment she spotted them she stood up and while she looked completely poised and elegant, Lena could see the nervousness clearly visible on her face.

"Um hello." Stef said as she held out her hand to Lena but it was only a moment before her eyes travelled towards the young girl. standing beside her. "Hi Callie." Stef said with a smile that lit up her eyes.

Callie remained still with a frown on her face as she glared back at the woman she believed was the cause of all her troubles.

"Callie's a little nervous." Lena explained. Had it been any other situation she would have chastised her daughter for being rude but considering the circumstances she couldn't fault Callie for her behavior.

"I'm so glad to finally meet you." Stef said as she bit her bottom lip and fidgeted with her fingernail nervously. "I've been dreaming of this moment for the last twelve years."

At that statement Callie glanced towards Lena, a slight shift in the look in her eyes as she realized that all this time the two had basically had the very same dream.


	7. Chapter 7

The three of them were sitting in a small grassy spot, the sandwiches and snacks open in front of them. Not much had been eaten and the tension still loomed in the air but Stef was trying as hard as she could to engage Callie in some sort of conversation. She wanted to get to know Callie and she understood that Callie was maybe angry, scared, maybe even a little uncomfortable but she wished that the girl understood that she wasn't looking to destroy her family. She had already assumed that Callie been adopted when she began looking for her and wasn't not looking to get custody of the girl. She just wanted a chance to have a relationship with her in any degree that her parents allowed.

Stef watched as Callie played with the laces on her Vans while Stef and Lena made uncomfortable smalltalk.

"When she was going to be moved again I just knew that I wanted her." Lena was saying as Stef listed to the full story of how Lena and Callie met.

Stef had asked Callie a couple of questions about her life before Lena but Callie would either nod, shake her head or use monosyllables to respond and if any requisition required an answer that didn't fit into any of those categories then she just refrained from answering it altogether. Stef had tried to ask her about school and friends, movies and music, books and even boys; but nothing seemed to warm the girl up to her.

"I'm happy that she found you." Stef said to Lena even though she was looking at Callie closely. "I had no idea that she'd been through any of this. When I first started looking for her I pictured a happy little girl with a family that loved her." Stef's eyes now had a far away look in them as she pictured the image in her head. "I pictured her with a little brother that annoyed her endlessly; but one she would protect with her life. I imagined that she was athletic like me but I hoped that her parents didn't put too much pressure on her like mine did. I imagined that they would support her dreams and help her accomplish her goals."

Both Callie and Lena were listening intently even thought it was only the latter that was actually looking at Stef. The picture was definitely a beautiful one and one that they both would have wished was true but unfortunately wishes seldom came true - especially in Callie's world.

"I also imagined that they had told Callie that she was adopted and that I'd chosen to give her up so that she could have a better life. I imagined that she'd be happy to see me and get to know me and understand that I did what I did with her best interest in mind." Stef finished with a catch in her throat but she quickly shook it off and continued with the facts of her search for the girl. "When they told you that you weren't adopted and that you had a heart condition I was honestly afraid to keep searching because I just couldn't bare the thought that you weren't alive anymore. The nuns at the Abbey didn't know the details of your condition and they just said heart problems that would require several surgeries and care. I was so afraid that you were gone and I hated myself for it."

"She's a tough kid." Lena interjected, trying to give Stef a moment but also praising Callie for tirelessly fighting this battle. "She's tougher than anyone I know."

Stef smiled fondly at the thought. In truth she had absolutely no right to feel it, but she couldn't help but feel just a little bit proud of the girl she'd created. Life had put her down from the moment she was born but each time she would get back up and keep on moving and that was admirable in anyone, let alone a little kid.

"It took almost two years but we slowly tracked her down. We went from social workers to doctors to hospitals and each place would give us a small piece of the puzzle. I learned more about her condition than I did about her whereabouts but Max, my partner, he really used everything he had to help me find her." She laughed slightly at the memory. "Terrified half the people with a lawsuit until he got what he wanted."

"When a child belongs to the system their files tend to get lost in the chaos." Lena agreed. "The only thing that ever seems to follow them around is their mistakes, unfortunately. We've had a few foster kids at our school before and we're always warned that they're trouble but when you really take a minute and get to know them you see that they are just kids that have no one to teach them right from wrong."

An ache filled Stef's eyes as she once again looked at Callie, wondering if she was ever that child that was reduced to nothing but a file. It wasn't just that she was her daughter and that Stef felt responsible for the life that Callie led but just the fact that she was a faceless child, lost in the system that made her want to punch someone in the face.

"I'm sor…" Stef began once again for there wasn't really much more she could say.

But Callie interrupted her when she finally looked up at Lena. "Can I go take a picture of the fountain"? Callie asked, dismissing Stef entirely.

"Honey." Lena said, uncomfortable with the way that Callie was behaving but considering that maybe the girl had had enough. "Okay." She finally agreed and looked apologetically towards Stef. "But be back in five minutes please."

Callie quickly disappeared with a small camera that she pulled out of Lena's purse leaving the two women alone for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry." Lena said. "This is all a little overwhelming for her." She wasn't sure why she felt the need to apologize or explain but she did. Maybe it was because she was raising Callie to be more polite than this or maybe it was because Stef didn't seem to be the villain she imagined but whatever the reason, Lena found her self apologizing.

"I understand." Stef said. "I know this had come as a hard blow to her and I'm sorry for that. I just wanted a chance to get to know her. I know I put a stop to the adoption yesterday but I'm honestly not looking to take her away from you. I can she that you love her and that she's happy with you and I have no idea how to be a mom. I would love to continue seeing her and have a relationship with her but she's your daughter."

"Your lawyer said that you wanted custody." Lena explained awkwardly. That was the sole reason that everyone had been so against this meeting in the first place.

Stef nodded in understanding. "It was all spur of the moment." She explained. "We only finally tracked her down day before yesterday. We were in San Francisco and we flew down immediately to see what we could find out. I didn't want to barge into the court room and put a stop to her adoption because I didn't want that to be the first time she ever saw me. Max was really just fighting with all he had and no plan really. Yes, I wanted to know her and I didn't know who you were but I can see that you love her and I know that I'm not what she wants or needs. You have no idea how relieved I am to see that she's found a family. I know that she had a tough life but I can't change it, no matter how much I wish I could. This is something I can do for her and I won't stand in the way of it."

"Well I don't mind you having a relationship with her but Callie is twelve, old enough to really understand everything that's going on and so I am going to leave it up to her." Lena said, feeling just a little less intimidated now that Stef had promised not to come between them.

Stef's heart sank for she knew that given the way Callie had responded today, there was no way the girl would choose to see her voluntarily. This was it for Stef and if she was going to keep the promise she made then now was the time for her to walk away.


	8. Chapter 8

"So that's it, you're just going to walk away?" Max asked in surprise, not really understanding why Stef was just giving up so easily after spending two grueling years looking for this kid.

"What else can I do?" Stef asked rhetorically as she folded her clothes haphazardly, a clear sign that the normally particular woman was unfocused. "She's made it clear that she doesn't want to be involved with me and I promised that was wasn't going to push her. Lena was right, for years decisions were just made for Callie and she had no say in anything."

"That's because she's a kid." Max argued. "Adults make decisions for kids in or out of the foster system. That's just how it works."

"No, it's not the same." Stef denied. "Just imagine being thrown in with a new family every few months. Having new doctors and treatments all the time. Not knowing whether or not you're going to sleep in the same bed from one night to the next." Stef shook her head in misery as she continued to put her clothes into the small carry on she'd brought with her. "She's finally found a good home and I don't want to do anything to jepordize that. Coming to live with me even temporarily would just mean that she's back in that cycle again and I can't do that to her. I got my chance, I know she's happy and safe and I know that Lena will do whatever she needs in terms of her health. I can live with that and if one day Callie does decide to reach out then I'll be right there for her."

Max shook his head as he went to his adjoining room to pack his own bag as well. Stef knew that Max didn't fully understand her reasoning. The man, just like his father, believed that if you started a fight then you didn't stop until you'd won - it's what made them excellent lawyers, but it made them equally difficult lay people.

* * *

Lena studied Callie as she set her heart medication down in front of her while the girl stabbed at her waffle covered in soy cream and strawberries.

"Do they know I'm not yet adopted?" Callie asked as she looked up at Lena. For the last few weeks she'd been excitedly telling everyone at school that she was finally going to be an Adams just like her mother but that once again hadn't happened and Callie didn't want to face her classmates. Who had teased her mercilessly the last time. She'd skipped school on Friday because of the meeting with Stef and then the weekend followed and now Callie was going back and she just knew her classmates would ask her what had happened.

"Some of the staff do." Lena answered honestly and added a glass of water and another of fresh squeezed watermelon juice down next to the pills. "But it doesn't change anything you know." She explained. "We'll reschedule the adoption and it'll be fine."

"Until my father shows up for custody and ruins everything." Callie said sarcastically. "Then grandparents and aunts and uncles and who knows who else until I age out of the system and totally miss my chance."

"No," Lena assured. "That's it. Stef promised that she wouldn't push you and you've made it clear that you don't want to know her. I told you she called last night to say she was going back home."

"I know, it's the only good thing she did for me." Callie snapped back. "Would have been better if she'd just stayed away in the first place but still."

Lena had explained the situation to Callie and even encouraged her to try and give Stef a chance but the girl had been determined to cut the woman out of her life for good. Even when Lena had mentioned Stef's offer to welcome Callie if she ever decided to reach out at a later stage in her life Callie had just responded with a cold 'over my dead body'.

"Alright, let's get to school." Lena said, realizing that they didn't have time to discuss this any further, especially since they weren't really getting anywhere with it.

Callie looked aprihensive again for a moment. "You think they'll tease me again?" She asked as she bit a lower lip nervously - a habit that Lena had never really noticed before now. She glanced down at her fingers and sure enough she was picking her thumb nail just the way that Stef had done three days ago when she'd first met her. For the first time Lena really registered what it meant that Callie was Stef's child. She was no longer just someone trying to put a spoke in their wheel but instead a woman who had been coerced into giving up her baby when she was far too young to really understand the repercussions of that decision. Maybe Callie didn't have her hair or her eyes but she did have her blood running through her veins and Lena wasn't sure if it was such a good idea to just let Callie walk away so easily. Maybe, as Callie's mother, it was her job to push the girl even when she wasn't happy about it.

* * *

Lena finished up her class and sent her kids out for recess. She now had about twenty minutes to make a final decision. If she decided to force a relationship between Stef and Callie then their lives would alter forever. There would always be a connection that kept them tied - similar to a divorced couple trying to parent a child. Even if Stef did not want any type of custody but just a relationship it would mean working around each others schedules and styles so that Callie had the most stability possible. It would also mean a lot of travel for Stef lived in San Francisco and Lena wasn't sure that Callie would manage flying up and down too often; not to mention that Lena didn't have the funds for that, what with all of Callie's medical needs. Stef would have to do most of the traveling but Lena knew that at least a part of it would fall on them as well.

But on the other hand what would it mean for Callie to actually get to know her mother - _biological_ mother? It is long overdue but maybe finally the girl can put her history behind her. She can finally understand why she had to endure the life she was handed and let go of the hate she felt for the woman that had given her up. The belief that she was given up due to her condition had been a weight she'd carried for far too long and finally being able to let go of that would do wonders for her. It would also do no harm for Callie to have more family for Lena was an only child with aged parents that lived on the other side of the country. Should something ever happen to Lena then she definitely didn't want Callie to be thrown back into the system. Stef would be there to make sure that Callie was taken care of and Callie would already know her by then - she won't be with a complete stranger once again and this was a worry that had weighed heavily on Lena's mind for the better part of two years.

With the pro's slightly, but surly, outweighing the con's Lena finally made her decision and so she headed to the neighboring fifth grade class, requested the teacher to combine the two classes and excused herself for the rest of the day. She knew she had to do this in person and she knew she had to do it now, before her nerves got the better of her and she changed her mind, and so she sped the twenty minute drive towards the hotel that Stef had been staying at as fast as she could, hoping that she hadn't already missed her.

* * *

"What time is the flight again?" Stef asked as she glanced around the room to make sure that she hadn't forgotten anything. Her mind really wasn't on the task in front of her and it was clearly visible in the way that she'd put her toothbrush into her shoe bag by accident or the way she'd mismatched the buttons on her blouse. The fact that it took her about three tries to unlock her combination lock that she used on her carryon was yet another sign of her distraction and by now Max had learned to just stop trying to help and give her some space.

"One, forty-five." Max replied as he glanced at the watch on his wrist. "We'll have to leave in about twenty minutes." He informed her. "I'll go and check out while you finish up so that we can just leave once you're ready.

Stef nodded in understanding as she glanced around the room for anything she'd missed. It wasn't so much that she didn't want to leave anything behind but more a need to do _something_ because the idea of leaving was basically killing her. She had been so close and yet so damn far and the only consolation was the fact that she knew she was leaving her daughter in good hands.

By the time Max came back about fifteen minutes later Stef had made her bed, tidied up their room-service dishes and even cleaned up the bathroom counter. She just needed to now get out of her as fast as possible before she broke down and cried - something she refused to ever do in front of other people.

Max, noticing her waving composure, silently grabbed both their bags and headed for the door. He gave Stef one quick glance to make sure she was really ready before heading out of the room.


	9. Chapter 9

Lena was pacing the hallway outside Stef's room anxiously, working up the nerve to actually knock on the door. She knew that Stef was still in there for the man at the front desk had told her that they had checked out but had not yet left and Lena wasn't sure if she was relieved that she'd caught them or not. On the one hand this is what she had come for but on the other it would have been so easy to accept that Stef was gone and just forget the whole thing. But just as Lena was working herself up into a nervous wreck the door opened and Lena came face to face with the man that had started this whole ball rolling.

"Um, Stef." She heard him say as he stared at her in the same way that she was staring back at him. "You may wanna come see this."

Lena swallowed a lump in her throat as she heard heals make their way across the marble floor and suddenly Stef was standing there looking as her with as much surprised as Max.

"Lena?" Stef said in confusion as she took a few steps towards the woman while Max remained behind.

"Can we talk?" Lena asked. "I'm sorry to just show up like this but I wanted to catch you before you left. Do you have a few minutes?" She suddenly felt somewhat like a fool for just showing up like this and realized that she could have just called Stef and arranged to meet her and then told her the reason in person. But it was too late now and honestly, Lena knew that if she hadn't done it in this impulsive, spur-of-the-moment way then she probably wouldn't have done it at all.

"Yes, of course." Stef said as she gestured for Lena to enter the room and Lena noticed Stef quickly glanced to Max quizzically who just shrugged back at her with as little knowledge of Lena's reason for being here. He then excused himself stating that he would be waiting for Stef in the lobby. Stef nodded and then followed Lena into the room.

Lena looked around the spacious suite and was awed but not totally surprised to find that the room was fantastic. There was an entire living room with a six seater dining table to one side. The plates that had obviously held their breakfast were gold rimmed as were the glasses and there was even a tablecloth on the table. Off to one side there were double doors and Lena could see the huge bed with silk sheets already made up. She knew just from the name of the hotel that this was five stars and somewhere she would never spend a night but actually being in the room and seeing everything first hand was an experience in itself.

"Is everything alright?" Stef pulled Lena out of her thoughts and suddenly Lena was reminded of why she was here in the first place. "Is Callie okay?"

"Yes." Lena said quickly. "She's fine, I just… um, I just wanted to tell you that, um…" She struggled to find the right words eliciting a bewildered eyebrow raise from Stef. She took a deep, calming breath before she spoke.

"Stay." Lena finally just blurted out, ripping it off like a bandaid.

"What?" Stef asked in surprise. Of all the things she was expecting to Lena to say, _stay_ was definitely the last on the list.

"Stay." Lena confirmed. "She should get to know you." She explained. How that she'd gotten over the biggest hurdle, everything else didn't seem so difficult anymore.

"But she doesn't want to and you said…" Stef began but was cut off.

"I know what I said but maybe I was wrong." Lena offered. "She doesn't know what she wants or needs, she's just a child."

A small smiled found it's way to Stef's lips as she imagined Max gloating at the phrase that Lena had just used. But just as quickly that smile was gone and Stef continued to think that maybe Lena's first instincts were the right ones.

"Lena I don't want to come in the way of Callie's adoption." Stef said honestly. "I don't want to give her any more reason to hate me. She's happy and she's loved and that's all I ever wished for her, even when I gave her up."

"And she needs to understand that." Lena interrupted quickly. "She needs to forgive you just as much as you need to forgive yourself. The adoption will continue, I'm not giving her up but she's young and she's not really sure what she wants right now. She's functioning on raging pre-teen hormones and she's making a rash decision." Lena paused a moment and looked into Stef's eyes before she continued. "I don't want her to make a hasty, uninformed decision that she will later regret."

Both women knew that Lena was referring to what Stef was feeling at that very moment. She'd spent twelve years regretting giving up her little girl and the last two of those years feeling guilty at the knowledge that the baby hadn't even gotten a better life out of it.

"Stay." Lena said one last time. "Get to know your daughter."

Stef nodded once as her heart beat faster as she realized that she was once again being given a chance. She couldn't believe this was happening. She knew that Callie might be against this idea at first and possibly for a long time but Stef was going to be persistent and she wasn't going to walk away again and with Lena now supporting her she was sure that she could win the girl over. The only thing she didn't realize was just how tough that was going to be.

* * *

"Is this a fucking joke?" Callie asked in anger when Lena finally explained the turn of events to her as they were mindlessly watching TV after dinner. "Because it's not a funny one."

"It's not a joke and please watch your language." Lena chastised. Callie wasn't usually one to temper, despise how angry she got. Her M.O. was usually to sit and sulk silently until she calmed down and finally came to you for a cuddle. Over the years Lena had realized that the latter part - the cuddles - were something Callie only ever came to her for and she relished every moment of them. It was the only thing that ever made her glad that Callie was angry about something, as ridiculous as that sounded.

But this time Callie's reaction was new to them both for before Lena could even begin to explain her reasoning Callie had grabbed the remote and flung it so hard at the TV that both the remote and the TV screen had cracks in them.

"CALLIE!" Lena shouted in surprise as she stood up while Callie did the same. The fury in her eyes was unmistakeable and Lena wasn't sure how to respond.

"No, I hate you." Callie said through gritted teeth as she forced herself not to cry. "You can't make me do this. You can't force me to see her." With that she stomped off down the hallway to her room and slammed the door.

Lena stood there in shock for a few moments before making her way to Callie's room. She wasn't going to enter, she was going to give Callie a little time and space to accept this but she just needed to know that the girl was okay. At the door she heard the muffled sobs of a child who's face was obviously buried in a pillow. Lena felt her heart ache as she listened to her daughter but she knew she was doing the right thing. As difficult as it was for everyone; the benefits to Callie in the long run made it all worth it. Lena turned and walked away, giving her daughter half an hour before she would go and talk to her again.


	10. Chapter 10

"You can't make me like her." Callie shook her head like a typical teenager as Lena drove them to school on Tuesday morning. "You can force me to see her but it won't change anything. She's not my mom." It didn't help matters that all through Monday Callie had heard nothing but questions and snide comments about her cancelled adoption from every kid at her school and she knew that today was going to be no different.

"I'm not saying that she's your mom…" Lena began but Callie snapped.

"But that's what you said last night when you told me I had to see her." Callie reminded her. "'She's your mom Callie and it will be good for you to get to know her.'"

"Well I just meant that she's your birthmother." Lena amended. "I'm not saying that you have to love her or feel anything for her, I just mean that she is the reason that you're here and now that we know the real reason she gave you up maybe you could just get to know her. There's so much we can all learn from this."

"Like what?" Callie asked, unfazed. "And you're right, she is the reason that I'm here." She reiterated, "She's the reason I'm here as a foster kid and didn't grow up with a family. She gave me away and then when I finally find a home she messes it up again. It's like she's just out to torture me."

Lena smiled slightly at the drama her daughter was displaying but in a way she had to agree with her - the timing just seemed to suck but Lena was certain that it was just coincidence. Stef didn't have any ulterior motives and she certainly didn't seem to want to put a stop to Callie's adoption.

"Well let's just go and see her, she can tell us a little bit about herself and we'll learn a whole lot about you too. You know how doctors are always asking us about your family history, well this is our chance to learn something and maybe you'll find out some other stuff about your family. Maybe that photography talent of yours runs in your family." Lena offered, hoping to make this visit with Stef just a little less chore-like and a little more interesting, not that she honestly believed that this stubborn girl in front of her was going to make this any easier.

* * *

Stef stood in Tiffany's and studied the bracelets in front of her. She'd already spent a good fifteen minutes studying the pendants and then moved over to the next case. She wanted something for Callie but she had no idea what to get her. She noticed that Callie had no jewelry on besides a pair of plain gold studs in her ears and she seemed to dress for comfort so she assumed that Callie wasn't that into fashion but she wanted something lasting and since she didn't really know anything personal about the kid yet she figured a piece of jewelry would suffice for now. Maybe one day as she grew older Callie would enjoy dressing up and hopefully by then the idea of a gift from Stef wouldn't seem too repulsive.

"Can I help you find something?" A young salesgirl asked for a second time. She'd asked right in the beginning when Stef had entered but Stef had declined, stating that she was just looking but she tried again since Stef seemed to be looking for something particular.

"I'm not sure what I want, something in silver maybe." Stef admitted as she squinted at a thin gold bangle with a butterfly dangling off it.

"Is it for someone else?" The salesgirl inquired, knowing that most people who were so uncertain were usually looking for others.

"Yes." Stef nodded.

"How old is she?" The salesgirl asked, ready to dig out the popular items for the age that Stef was looking for.

"Twelve going on twenty." Stef offered back with a slight smile. "She's my um… She's a very special girl." She finally said, hoping to convey just how much importance this gift would hold. "But she's not really into jewelry, yet." She offered, explaining her reason for her choice being this so difficult."

"Well how about something classic." The salesgirl said as she pulled out the bangle with the butterfly that Stef had just been looking at.

"I don't think that's really her." Stef said. It was definitely a beautiful bangle - thin and seamless with one small butterfly dangling freely on it but somehow Stef didn't peg Callie as the butterfly type.

"How about a charm bracelet?" The girls asked as she pulled out a box with a bracelet and an assortment of charms to choose from. "We have several to choose from that can cover the girl's interests.

But Stef just shook her head, uncomfortable with the fact that she didn't even know the girl's interests.

"What about a pendant?" The sales girl suggested and began pulling out a few of those - hearts, a treble clef and a key. "These are also very popular with our younger clients.

As Stef studied the heart she contemplated getting it but it seemed too forced. She didn't want this gift to be something cliche. It didn't necessarily have to be about the two of them - a heart because Stef had always loved her or a key to resemble that Callie was the one with the power to unlock their relationship. No, she wanted something simple that didn't signify anything. It would be up to Callie to make it a special gift.

Another twenty minutes went into studying several more bracelets, bangles, pendants and earrings but nothing seemed to jump out at Stef. She had considered going somewhere else to look for something when the girl gave it one last try.

"How about something like this." The salesgirl offered as she pulled out a soft bracelet with five small round diamonds at regular intervals. "It's from last season and we don't display it anymore but it was definitely a classic."

"That's perfect." Stef said as she examined the bracelet. It wasn't too fancy, rather simple actually and it didn't have any signifiant theme to it. It was casual enough but still classy. It was something Callie could keep but held no significant connection to Stef like a heart or a pair of interconnected circles representing the two of them would. It was just a gift in itself and that's what Stef was looking for.

"I'll ring you up over here." The girl smiled as another salesman quickly wrapped up the bracelet in the signature Robin's Egg Blue box and satin ribbon.

* * *

Stef clutched her bag of gifts nervously as she rang Lena's doorbell where they had decided to meet this evening. Lena had suggested it hoping that giving Callie just a slight bit of advantage would make this seem not so threatening and Stef had agreed. She'd secretly wanted to see where Callie lived and what her life was like and this was a great opportunity.

"Welcome." Lena smiled as she motioned for Stef to enter. "We're so glad to have you here."

Stef smiled back and handed Lena the bottle of wine she'd bought her. "I wasn't sure what to get and you usually can't go wrong with red wine." She said.

"This is perfect." Lena smiled back as she took the bottle of Merlot that she was sure was at least a hundred dollars. "Wine is usually one of my staple diets." She laughed awkwardly before realizing that she probably shouldn't have said that to Stef considering she was Callie's birthmother.

"Oh good." Stef responded, her shoulders relaxing just a bit. "I was afraid that I was the only one." She smiled back and just like that the ice broke. Lena led Stef into the living room where she proceeded to open the bottle and pour each of them a glass.

"Let me just go get Callie." Lena said before she sat down herself.

A few moments later Lena reemerged with a grumpy, sulky Callie following behind, her phone in her hand and earphones stuck in her ears. Lena pulled them out the moment that they reached the living room and whispered a quick _be nice_ into her ear.

Stef stood up and took a step towards Callie, unsure of what to do. She wanted more than anything to give her a hug but she was sure the girl wouldn't appreciate that and so instead she settled for a smile, a 'hi' and handing her the bag with the bracelet.

"I'm not sure if you'll like it but I wanted to get you something." Stef explained as she gave Callie the bag.

"That's very nice of you Stef, thank you." Lena said, giving Callie a warning look letting her know that it's what she should have been saying.

"Thanks." Callie said, once again focusing on her phone, the bag still dangling unopened in her hand.

"Honey, don't you want to open it up; see what's inside." Lena said over-enthusiastically, trying to convey to Callie that it wasn't really a question.

"Fine." Callie rolled her eyes and began yanking the ribbon off the box while Lena handed Stef a glass of wine and took one for herself.

The two women watched as Callie not so gently pulled open the box and pulled out the bracelet. She barely glanced at it before she mumbled a quick 'thank you' and went back to her phone. Lena, however, took the bracelet from her and genuinely admired it. It was something she herself might have picked out for Callie and while Callie was indifferent to it for obvious reasons, she knew that under different circumstances the girl would have really loved it.

"This is beautiful Stef." Lena said as she smiled at her. "I'm sure it will look lovely on her." She said as she handed the bracelet back to Callie - a sign that she expected the girl to put it on.

"It's too big." Callie complained with no emotion, her indifference visible.

"The store said that they would size it for you." Stef interrupted as she handed Lena a small envelope with the guarantee and the gift receipt.

"I'm sure that it's not." Lena stated as Callie finally, dramatically put the bracelet on her hand. "Callie why don't you go and check on the roast." She ordered, hoping to give the girl a task in order to cut the tension.

Stef and Lena continued to talk for a few more minutes as they sipped their wine and when Callie called to say that the roast was ready they made their way to the dining area. Lena topped up their glasses and poured Callie a glass of orange juice and handed her a medication. This led to a conversation about Callie's actual condition where Lena filled Stef in on a lot of the details that she'd been desperate to know. Callie, through all of this remained on her phone and basically pretended that Stef didn't even exist.

Stef told Lena a little about her own life and Lena shared some of her own stories and for the most part it was almost like a little family, sitting down to a meal. Stef and Lena learned that they had a fair amount in common even though they had grown up in vastly different worlds - both women had enjoyed school and wanted to go as far as they could education-wise; both of them had always wanted and planned to have a family but never really found the right person and neither of them could wait to move away from home to find their own adventures. Along with that there were a few smaller details that they both shared as well - both were only children and both loved to read, neither particularly enjoyed crowded places and preferred smaller groups of genuine friends and both hated their hair more than anything. The two women were laughing as Stef explained how her hair had always hung limp and no matter what she tried to do with it it would always fall down flat.

"I remember I had curled it for my junior prom and even though we used a ton of hairspray, by the end of the night it just looked like a wavy mess." Stef said.

"I spent close to a hundred dollars to have my hair straightened for my prom." Lena interjected. "Lotions, potions and hot-irons; and even then it looked like I'd stuck my finger in a socket. It didn't help that it was much shorter too."

"Well I happen to think that your hair is beautiful." Stef said as she finished up the last sip of her wine. "It's got life and character and it's unique - you don't see hair like that at every turn."

By now their plates and glasses were empty, the tension in the room had basically dispersed - mostly because Callie didn't engage in much of the conversation and the night was coming to an end.

"I'll do the dishes." Callie quickly said, surprising Lena who expected the girl to disappear into her room as fast as she'd be allowed to.

"Thanks honey." Lena said as she began to clear up the left overs while Stef helped her by re-corking the wine. She was just about to ask Lena where she could put the bottle when a horrible crunching sound came from the sink. Both women turned towards Callie who looked at them with a very unapologetic look.

"Oops, the bracelet fell down the sink." She said as she looked directly at Stef. "I told you it was too lose."

Silence fell over the room as Stef bit her cheek to keep from crying while Lena bit hers to keep from yelling at Callie. This was not how either of them wanted the night to end. It had been a nice evening and both women had tried hard to keep it as easy for Callie as possible. Stef had given the girl some space by not forcing her to talk and Callie had gone out of her way to hurt her and that was not something Lena was okay with. Within five minutes Stef had said her goodbyes and left Lena was left feeling disappointed in her daughter and once again began rethinking this entire plan.


	11. Chapter 11

Callie lay on her bed staring at the ceiling - she'd been doing that for the last three days now because there was nothing much else to do. Lena had grounded her and apart from school the girl wasn't allowed out of the house. She wasn't really even allowed out of her room besides meals and the bathroom. Lena had let her know in no uncertain terms that her behavior that night had not only been rude and unacceptable but also hurtful and mean.

 _"I know that you're hurting." Lena said after she'd lectured Callie for a good twenty minutes. "I know that you believe that she's responsible for all the bad things that happened in your life and in a way she is but she did not give you away because she didn't want you. She gave you away so that you could have a better life. Unfortunately that didn't work out the way she had planned but it wasn't deliberate and you treating her this way isn't right."_

 _"She thinks she can just buy me back." Callie said as she wiped her teary eyes._

 _"That's not what she's trying to do." Lena denied. "She just wanted to give you something that would last, something that you could use not just now but forever. Like it or not she is a part of you, even if you decide never to talk to her or see her ever again she will always be a part of you and you may push her away and shut her out but you can't control how she feels about you or the fact that she does love you."_

 _Callie didn't like that idea at all. She hated that Stef had anything to do with her and she wished she could make her forget completely. It wasn't fair that Stef got to love her or care about her without Callie's permission._

 _"What you did tonight was hurtful and vindictive and I am so disappointed in you Callie. I know that you haven't lived with me for that long but you and I both know that you know better. I know that I've taught you to be nicer than that. Besides that was a beautiful and expensive bracelet and you destroyed it. You are going to go back downstairs and dig it out of the garbage disposal and I will take it back to the store and see if I can get it repaired. If you don't want it then you don't have to keep it but we are not throwing it away and you are not going to destroy it."_

Callie hated that conversation. She hated having to stick her hand down the disposal and pulling out the bracelet that was broken in two places, she didn't like having to wash it and hand it to Lena who was thankful that all five diamonds were still safely ensconced in the silver and most of all she hated the look that Lena was giving her.

* * *

Stef sat in the plane waiting to disembark at San Francisco airport willing herself not to cry. She'd never imagined this entire process to be this difficult. The truth was that she'd imagine that she'd find Callie's family, introduce herself and the girl would just come running happily to see her. She imagined being a sort of big sister figure in the girl's life - sharing fun things like shopping and movies so that she didn't overstep her adoptive parent's rules. It had never occurred to her that maybe Callie wouldn't even want to know her. She definitely understood where she was coming from and why she held so much anger towards Stef but she was hoping that the child understood that she was not going to stand in the way of her happiness. All she really wanted was to share in it a bit.

 _'Welcome to San Francisco, we are third in line for taxiing. Please remain in your seats until the seatbelt sign is switched off. Cell phones and other wireless devices may now be used. Your bags will be available on Belt 3. Thank you for flying with us today and we hope to see you fly with us again soon.'_

Stef sighed heavily as she pulled out her phone to check if Lena had replied to her message. She'd left too early that morning to actually call Lena to tell her that she'd left. Lena had called her the day after the incident to apologize and Stef had said that no apology was necessary but the truth was that it hurt more than Stef ever imagined it would. She wasn't sure how to try and mend this bridge that was not only so badly damaged but still falling apart further and in a way Max's call to her the night before had been just the thing she needed to give herself a break.

 _Hi Lena, sorry to text you this early but I just wanted to let you know that I had to fly back home. Something's come up at work and I'm not sure how long it's going to take to sort out but I'll keep you informed._

Once her phone had finally turned on she felt her stomach contract when she saw that she had one new voice message from Lena.

 _Hey Stef, I hope everything at work is okay and whatever the problem is can be sorted easily. We'll make a plan when you get back. Have a safe flight. Bye._

Lena stopped speaking but it was clear that she hadn't hung up yet. Stef wondered if she'd just forgotten to disconnect and was just about to do so herself when Lena spoke again.

 _Don't give up Stef. I know this can't be easy for you - I can't even imagine what you must be feeling but you can't give up. Callie is struggling hard with this - she feels so strongly that you abandoned her and giving up now will only prove that. You have to show her that you are in this for the long haul otherwise she's never going to learn to trust you. I know you have work and a life in San Francisco but keep in touch please. No matter what happens with Callie, you and I can still talk. We are celebrating Callie's twelfth birth next weekend and I really hope you can make it back for that."_

The voicemail ended there and Stef felt a flutter of hope return to her again. Lena was such a remarkable woman. She had just as much right to dislike Stef as Callie was but she was putting all that aside to give Stef a chance and so matter how hard it was she was always being supportive. She was so glad that Callie had someone like that in her life. She imagined Lena there to support and encourage Callie from simple school plays right through major heart surgery and the image made her smile.

* * *

Callie was bouncing up and down with excitement. This was her first real birthday party. Her last birthday had been a small affair with just Lena - something Callie had wanted. She was still pretty shy and hadn't made many friends back then and the idea of a special day with her favorite person sounded wonderful. But this year she was supposed to have been adopted by now and they were going to have a party. Lena had decided that even though the adoption had fallen through the party was still on. Friends from Callie's class were invited along with a few other friends she'd made around their apartment and even some from her hospital visits. Lena's parents had flown down for the third time since Lena had begun to foster Callie and some of Lena's friends were invited too. Altogether there were going to be close to thirty people in the small two bedroom apartment. Dana and Stewart Adams had flown in the night before and Dana had come armed with a special present - a dress handmade specially for Callie. It was a short dress that came up to mid-thigh; off-shoulder but with a fairly high neckline to hide Callie's several surgical scars that she was always self-conscious about. Stewart came in with his own gift - a spa morning for all three women to have their hair and nails done and Lena had given Callie the best present of all - her very own cellphone.

Callie's morning had been fantastic. First Dana, Lena and Callie had gone to have their hair and nails done and then they'd all gone out to an early lunch - The Cheesecake Factory - Callie's favorite restaurant. Next they'd come back home and the four of them decorated the house with a few balloons and silver streamers. Steward went off to get the cake while the three women got ready for the party and at four-thirty on the dot the guests began to arrive.

Callie was enjoying her party with her friends - the music was lively and the food was simple but delicious. She'd received a fair number of presents and though she hadn't opened them up yet she knew that there was a wide variety judging by the size and shape of them. The kids were all sitting around the living room telling Callie what apps she had to download onto her phone immediately when Dana turned out most of the lights and Stewart and Lena brought in the large chocolate cake covered in flickering candles. The group gathered around Callie and the cake and sang Happy Birthday and Callie made her wish and blew out the candles - in that moment she couldn't have been any happier.

The doorbell interrupted the festivities and when someone opened it up to reveal Stef standing there with a wrapped present in her hand, Lena heard Callie mumble, "Well that wish never came true."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Thanks for the response to this story - it had been on my mind for a long time and I finally got down to writing it. Speaking of which - another story had been on my mind for several years now actually and I got that one started as well. It's a crossover with The **Gilmore Girls** so anyone interested in that show can find the story in the crossover section or on my page. It's called **Far From Home**. Hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Love Junebug


	12. Chapter 12

Lena warned Callie to behave before she headed towards Stef while the cake was once again taken into the kitchen to cut up. Lena welcomed Stef in and took the present from her, adding it to the ever-growing pile on a table before leading her into the kitchen to introduce her to her parents. She was nervous but she wasn't sure why. For some reason she just desperately wanted her parents to like Stef. She's already talked their ears off about her and assured them that she was nice and not looking to ruin their family but still, meeting Stef and making their own judgements about her made her nervous.

"Mom, dad; I'd like you to meet Stef." Lena smiled as she entered the kitchen to find Dana cutting up the cake and Stewart refilling the sandwiches and chips. "Stef, these are my parents, Dana and Stewart."

"It's nice to meet you." Stef said, feeling just as nervous as Lena was. Here were more people in Callie's life that probably hated her for what she'd done. For all intents and purposes these were Callie's grandparents and for the first time Stef truly felt like an outsider. She could claim that she was Stef's mother all she wanted and she could swear that she loved her but in the end, these were the people who had been there for her when she needed someone the most and no DNA test could come between that.

But much to Stef's surprise Dana walked over to her with open arms and hugged her in a way that even her own mother never had - like it didn't matter what mistakes she'd made or how it looked to the outside world. "It's wonderful to finally meet you." Dana said with a smile while Steward wiped his greasy hands on his pants to hug her as well.

"Oh Stewart, wash your hands." Dana chastised, making both Stef and Lena laugh.

"Pants work just fine honey." Stewart replied, wiping them once again to emphasize his point.

"Yes, but you don't want those oil stains on Stef's clothes, it will be a pain to get that material clean." Dana replied as she eyed Stef's perfectly fitted black pants and cowl-necked sleeveless gold shimmer top. "You must only hand-wash that top if you want to keep the shimmer in." Dana explained from years of experience. "Those machines are so rough on the clothes that nothing lasts anymore."

"Mom, I don't think Stef came here for a laundry lesson." Lena interrupted, glad that her parents were welcoming of Stef but needing everyone to get back to work - they still had a living room full of hungry twelve-year-olds to feed and a pile of presents to open.

* * *

Callie loved the presents she'd been given. She was sitting on a chair with all her family and friends around her opening up one present after another and so far she'd received a small starter makeup kit, a set of three glittery jelly bangles, a few tops, a couple of books, a plush pillow in the shape of a heart, a handbag and a few gift cards to iTunes, Starbucks and Macy's and she still had a handful of presents left to open. She had done a fantastic job of avoiding Stef through her party and hoped that she could get through the rest of it without actually having to talk to the woman. Stef, for her part, was keeping her distance and for that Callie was thankful for she really did not want to lose it in front of her friends.

"Oh wow." Callie exclaimed as she opened up a tabletop jewelry box with three drawers and cupboard and a top flap that played music when you wound it. The box itself was a light pastel pink and each drawer was covered in a different pastel pattern as was the door giving the whole front a patchwork look and the top of the box was decorated in small jewels in the shapes of flowers. It was a little girl's dream jewelry box and Callie loved it. "Thank you." She said as she reached for a card to see who it was from so she could thank them directly but her face instantly fell when she saw who it was from.

Setting it aside she ignored the look she received from Lena as she continued on to the next gift, noticing Dana lean over Lena to speak to Stef from the corner of her eye.

* * *

"Don't take it to heart, it's a lovely present." Dana said supportively. "You really have wonderful taste."

Stef smiled even though it didn't reach her eyes. She had hoped that this present wouldn't be too over the top. It wasn't special in any way - not very expensive or fancy and held absolutely no significance - it was simply a gift for a girl who's birthday she was invited to. With that she'd hoped that even if Callie didn't like it she wouldn't be too upset like she'd been with the bracelet but the fact that Callie did infect love the box up until she realized who it was from is what hurt Stef. No matter how many times she was rejected or how clear Callie make her dislike of her, it still hurt and Stef just kept trying her best to hide it.

"Come on, let's go get something to drink." Dana suggested and soon Stef and Dana headed back to the kitchen leaving the party guests to themselves for a while.

* * *

Soon guests began to leave; first Lena's friends and slowly even Callie's friends began to disappear one by one as parents came to collect their kids. Lena and Callie said goodbye to each one and then Callie went back to her presents to really look at them again while Lena headed into the kitchen to join Stef and her parents.

"Come sit honey." Stewart said when she saw Lena begin to collect up dirty cups and plates. "Leave that for a bit and just relax, we'll help you clean up in a bit."

Lena took a seat and heard Dana tell Stef the tail-end of a story about how Lena once tried to stuff her bra with socks.

"It was a pretty lopsided stuffing if I recall correctly." Dana laughed.

"MOTHER!" Lena said aghast as she turned a shade of red while Stef nearly spilled her drink from laughing so hard.

"Oh honey, you were just twelve." Dana dismissed her. "It was adorable."

"I'll let you in on a secret, I didn't really need a bra until I was almost fourteen." Stef offered good-naturedly, in an attempt to even the score. "And it didn't help that I was younger than everyone else in my class either. They would call me 'surf board' and 'nipples' because I didn't have breasts, just nipples."

Lena couldn't stop herself from glancing down to Stef's chest where she observed that Stef was anything but just nipples now. Obviously she had developed well and didn't have to worry about that any more. Lena on the other hand still had considerably small breasts that she wished were a cup size or two bigger.

"Don't feel bad honey, I'm still known as nipples." Steward teased as she looked down the neck of his shirt, pretending to search franticly for what he was looking for.

"Thank god for that, I don't think I could ever marry a man with bigger breasts than me." Dana added, adding to the laughter that filled the room.

A good twenty minutes passed and the conversation moved on from breast sizes to modern clothing styles to justice and politics in the United States and finally to Stef and her life.

"Honestly, I don't think I'd be able to live in a world where I'm being watched all the time." Dana said after Stef explained just how big of a scandal her pregnancy was to her family. "Makes me thankful that I'm not a celebrity."

"It's not always easy." Stef agreed wholeheartedly. "Everyone is always trying to top each other. I remember my mother would host this huge Christmas party every year and she'd serve these mini mince pies that were the talk of the town. Everybody who was anybody was invited to this party and for weeks before and after they would talk about these pies. Then one year the Richmond's, three houses down who hosted the Thanksgiving party every year served up a turkey the size of a horse with a new stuffing recipe that Lynn Richmond got from her dead grandmother's recipe book and it was so delicious that people were talking about it right up until Christmas week and my mother was a wreck. She was sure that that year her mince pies wouldn't be enough to keep up with the stuffing and so she had this professional baker down in San Jose make her a _three foot cake_ to resemble a manger. The damn thing came up to my waist." Stef said as she shook her head at the absurdity of the whole thing. "But one thing was certain, my mother got what she wanted for people were talking about that cake until next Christmas."

"I wonder how much your mother actually got to enjoy those parties." Dana said, thinking back to the few simple, carefree parties filled with fun and laughter that she'd thrown when she was younger. "Sounds like more of a chore than anything festive."

"Oh dad and I knew better than to get in her way the week of the party." Stef assured. "She was like a raging bull, barking orders at all the help. More often than not I would find them crying in the servants quarters."

Dana was just about to respond when Callie came into the room sporting some of her new presents - bangles, lipstick and the handbag with a book tucked under her arm. "Grams, doesn't this bag go perfectly with the dress you made me?" Callie asked as she twirled around, molding for everyone.

"It looks lovely my darling." Dana responded and Callie beamed happily until she once again spotted Stef. "Oh, I thought all the guests had left. I wanted to spend some time with just my family." She said politely enough but with an edge to her voice letting Stef know that even though she was warned not to be rude, Callie still didn't want her there.


	13. Chapter 13

"You know, your mama probably never told you this but I have a bit of a temper." Dana said to her granddaughter the day after her party. It was Sunday and Dana had taken Callie out for some frozen yogurt just to spend some time together before they left that evening while Lena spent some time with her father. "And once when she was just a little older than you she was trying to straighten her hair." Dana explained. She reached out to stroke Callie's hair affectionately. "What she would have given to have hair like yours. Anyway, she was trying some new frizz-be-gone rubbish in her beautiful hair and ruining it. It was already looking so dull and brittle from all the ironing she'd been doing and I wanted her to just stop. I wanted her to learn to love her hair the way that I did but she disagreed - she told me that it was my fault that she had hair like that and she asked me to just leave her alone and we argued back and forth and we were both getting so angry with each other and she was crying and she told me that she hated me." Here Dana paused for a moment, for the next part was something she regretted to this day. "And in my anger I told her that I regretted ever even having a daughter like her."

Callie looked at Dana in surprise, even though she knew that Dana didn't meant it like it really sounded she never expected her grandmother to ever say such a thing.

"I didn't mean it." Dana confirmed. "And Lena knew that I didn't meant it just like I knew that she didn't really hate me but she was still hurt and I will never ever forget that look of pain on her face." Once again Dana paused as she held Callie's hand affectionately. "Even grown-ups make mistakes, parents make mistakes. The reason that those mistakes hurt us so much more than others is because they are the ones who are supposed to do everything for us and when they let us down it hurts us more than anything. But we aren't perfect and sometimes we say or do things that end up hurting us more than they intended but sometimes what you have to look at is their intentions, not their actions."

By now Callie knew exactly where this was leading and while she was dreading another lecture about giving Stef a chance, she was curious to hear more about Dana and Lena when Lena was young.

"Honey Stef made a mistake and you got hurt, I'm not denying that." Dana finally got to her point. "And my story isn't exactly the same as yours but the end result is that two mothers hurt their children but I can assure you that it wasn't intended. Stef was trying to do what was best for you honey. Unfortunately it didn't work out like that but she didn't just decide that she didn't love you or want you and hand you over to social services. She gave you to people who were supposed to give you what she couldn't. She was also just a child and she was also hurting so much but she did what she had to do for you. I'm not asking you to love her or even have a relationship with her if that's not what you want but I do think that you owe her just a little bit more respect than you are giving her. She is trying and from what I can see she's being very respectful of your space and you have not behaved in the manner that I know your mama has taught you. Everyone is trying, everyone but you and I think it's now time for you to do your part."

Dana was looking at her the same way that Lena had after Callie had destroyed the bracelet and she hated it. She didn't like Stef and she didn't want to have anything to do with her, despite what everyone was saying but she realized that she wasn't just hurting Stef, she was also disappointing her family - the only people to truly ever love her and for them she decided that she would take it down a notch.

* * *

Lena was surprised when Callie didn't put up much of a fight but she didn't question it. Dana had mentioned their talk briefly and Lena was glad to see that it had made some difference in the way that Callie was viewing the situation. The two of them were meeting Stef at an art exhibition that Lena figured would interest Callie enough to stay civil and Stef found a small Italian restaurant that was open all day where they could get a snack afterward. Callie was busy looking at all the exhibits carefully, surprised by what she was seeing - she'd imagined paintings and photographs but the room was filled with not only that but also sculptures made from trash and metal and other such materials, hand drawings in pencil and charcoal, actual people painted to look like animals - so perfectly done that you couldn't even tell until the person actually moved.

"Come look at this." Callie called to Stef and Lena, pointing to an odd looking sculpture made from trash. There was a hoola-hoop and some empty bottles and cans, pencil shavings and plastic bags, newspaper and old cardboard boxes and rope.

"What is it?" Stef asked, studying the sculpture carefully, trying to figure out what it meant exactly.

"Clean Up The Earth." Lena read out the plaque in front of the exhibit as she too tried to make sense of it.

"So they put some trash together and said clean it up?" Stef offered humorously.

"No, look." Callie explained as she pointed to a button beside the plaque. She hit the button and a light was shone on the exhibit from the front. "Look on the wall." She instructed. "Look at the shadow." And there on the wall was a beautiful image of the earth surrounded by plants and animals. The hoola-hoop formed the earth and all the various bits of trash formed trees and animals and birds. "That's awesome." Callie smiled and hit the button again when after exactly sixty seconds the light went off.

For a moment Stef watched the exhibit but her attention quickly moved on to Callie - this was the first time she was actually watching the girl smile and enjoy herself. For just a while Callie seemed like any normal teenager with no heart condition, no depressing history and no hatred for the woman in her company and this is the Callie that Stef was craving for and this moment is what made all the heartache and all the disappointment worth it for she would give anything to keep watching her daughter smile the way that she was right now.

* * *

The trio spent a few more hours together enjoying a snack at the Italian restaurant a block away from the art exhibit and then they went their separate ways but not before making a plan to meet again in a few days at the pier - an outing that proved to be just as successful. For the next few weeks they would meet every few days or so and while Callie still kept Stef at a distance she was enjoying the outings and Stef was keeping things as light as possible for Callie. She refrained from questioning her too much about her life but instead learned as much as she could through observation. Stef was content with the way things were going for all of them but she really got a good insight into their lives when she ran into Lena at a bank just a few days after their last meeting and Lena suggested they grab some coffee if they both had the time which Stef of course accepted immediately.


	14. Chapter 14

"Would you mind a bakery instead?" Stef requested as they walked out of the bank. "I've been running around all morning and I haven't had a thing to eat."

"Of course." Lena readily agreed. "Why don't we head to a restaurant?" She suggested. "It's a little early but I'm sure we'll find a place that's open."

"No, a bakery is just fine." Stef said. "They'll have a croissant or a sandwich I can have."

The two decided to walk to a bakery that Lena knew was just a few blocks away and Lena noted that Stef ordered the very same sandwich that Callie always picked when they came here - the spicy smoked chicken sandwich with extra dil but no onions. Lena smiled to herself as Stef began to tell Lena about her hectic morning that involved a case at work.

"Max has been sending me some work from San Francisco and I've been doing what I can from here. I went down to the library at the courthouse here to have a look at some of the books to see what we can do to help our client but it's a tough case and it basically comes down to the judge we get. Our client and his friend began a business about five years ago making stationary - letter paper, notebooks, personalized envelopes, that kind of thing. Now our client did the business part of it while the friend was involved in designing the prints on the papers and patterns on the envelope. It's actually quite a big demand in San Francisco - they personalize stuff and all the high-flying people want them. Now the friend is moving and wants to leave the company and take his share of the profits they made but along with that he is also saying that the company can no longer use the designs anymore as they are his and our client is claiming that the designs belong to the company and he can't claim them but the artist is saying that it was his work to begin with so he has the right. These types of cases are basically like Russian Roulette. As lawyers we can do what we can but when neither party is really right or wrong it all depends on the judge." Stef explained.

"But isn't he right in a way?" Lena asked. "The designs do belong to the company since they were made for the company."

"It's not that simple." Stef replied. "Copyright laws won't cover even the slightest change like for example if there is a dot on top of an 'i' that is a perfect circle and then everything else about the design remains the same but that dot becomes an oval the entire image is considered changed because it is not identical and therefore not copied."

"So basically, even if your guy wins the other guy still gets to keep his designs." Lena concluded.

"Exactly." Stef agreed. "We cannot stop the artist from using them so our goal is to get our client the rights to continue to use the designs as well on the ground of them belonging to the company and not only the artist."

"But then why doesn't your client just make a few tweaks as well?" Lena asked, thinking that if one guy can turn a circle into an oval then so can another."

"The company has grown pretty big and certain designs have become trademarks especially for higher end companies, including ours in fact." Authenticity is what we're aiming for so that this rift between the partners doesn't cost the company it's clients or status."

"Right." Lena understood. "Stuck between a rock and a hard place. "

"Exactly." Stef laughed exhaustedly. "Catch 22."

* * *

After that they began to talk about other things and in just a short one and a half hours the two learned a lot about each other. Likes and dislikes, interests and history. The two of them had a very different childhood and Lena learned that sometimes a simple life could definitely be more desirable than one of means and fame - she had parents that cared about her and her desires and dreams rather than what people around thought she should be. Stef learned that despite the downfalls of societal life; money definitely had it's perks - she had one of the best educations that the country could offer and although she did get in on a partial scholarship she knew that even if she didn't, her father's money would surly have gotten her in anyway.

They both had a love for travel but only Stef had really done any of it. She'd seen most of Europe before she had finished school and by the time she was done with college she's seen some of Africa and Asia as well. She'd been to Australia and New Zealand and Russia and even some of the Middle East. Lena, on the other hand had only been to Canada and Mexico once and visited only a handful of states within the country. Her parents were humble people that preferred to stay close to home - in fact, the only wish they'd ever had for their daughter was that she didn't move too far away - a wish that Lena didn't keep when she move halfway across the country to San Diego.

Through all of this Lena kept noticing other small details that were common to both Stef and Callie like the way that they both stuck the very tip of their tongue out when they were trying to remember something or the way that they both cracked their knuckles. These were the little things that made Lena desperate for Callie and Stef to bond but at the same time the things that made her feel just slightly disconnected from her daughter - as much as she knew that these things didn't matter, it still irked her to know that she'd never be able to say 'yes, she get's that from me."

* * *

"What about Callie?" Stef suddenly asked, interrupting Lena's thoughts as she sipped her third cup of coffee. "What is she interested in?"

Lena described Callie's love for art and photography which Stef already knew but she also told her how Callie loved animals and was curious about sea creatures. She wanted to dive but obviously her heart would never allow that. Lena had taken her to the aquarium more times than she could count but it just wasn't the same.

"I think she likes the freedom." Lena admitted. "Don't tell her I told you this but she has a thing for the Little Mermaid, only reversed - she'd give up just about anything to grow some fins and swim away."

"I can relate to that." Stef replied. "I remember sitting at my bedroom window as a kid wishing I could just grow wings and fly away." She admitted. "The wind in your face and not a care in the world…" She trailed off, dreaming of a world with complete freedom."

"I wish I could give her that." Lena admitted. "No doctors, no CPS, no pain; but unfortunately that's not real life. She can't even go swimming despite how much she loves the water. I took her once in a private pool but she got too tired within minutes."

"How about a boat ride?" Stef asked, thinking that maybe that was something they could do together. "The hotel has brochures on the rides and timings, I could get you one."

Lena seemed to hesitate for just a moment but it didn't go unnoticed by Stef. "I could just give you the brochure." She offered, wondering if it was something Lena would want to do with Callie alone.

"No." Lena shook her head at the implication. "It's not that; I just have a fear of the water." She admitted somewhat shamefully. "Swimming pools and even lakes I can do but anything beyond my control just makes me nervous."

Stef smiled gently though there was a teasing gleam in her eyes. "Don't feel bad." She said though she did laugh. "For me it's spiders." She admitted as her body shook involuntarily as though a spider was close by."

"Spiders huh?" Lena asked, laughing herself. "You afraid of the incy wincy spider?" She teased.

"Just a bit." Stef confessed as the two of them laughed good-naturedly. "Anyways it was just a thought. The brochure claimed that you should sometimes see the creatures if you got lucky."

"Why don't you take her?" Lena suddenly piped up. "You're going to have to get together at some point without a chaperone so why not something she might truly enjoy?"

"I don't think she'd be too happy about that." Stef said thought it was clear that she herself loved the idea. "You think she'd agree?"

"We can ask." Lena offered, leaving out the bit about her actually persuading and maybe even bribing Callie a little bit.

Stef smiled widely as she nodded and the two set a day for this next step in reuniting Stef and Callie.

* * *

The day of the boat ride had finally arrived and Stef woke up more excited than ever for Lena had already told her that Callie was looking forward to this despite Stef's attendance. But if she were being honest with herself she was just a bit nervous as well for while Lena was there to keep the transition for Callie smooth, she also made Stef feel more grounded. This time it was going to be up to Stef to make the afternoon go smoothly and she hoped that she had what it takes.

She packed an extra sweater for Callie just in case it got cold, ordered a few sandwiches from room service along with some fresh squeezed orange juice and fruit and headed towards Lena's house, her heart pounding both in fear and excitement.


	15. Chapter 15

Stef and Callie both stood nervously at the ticket counter waiting for their turn. Through the car ride they'd both basically been silent - Callie preferring to just keep to herself and Stef afraid of making the wrong move. Surprising Stef, Callie had actually been eager to get a move on the day and just nodded vigorously as Lena gave her a list of instructions - be polite, don't lean over the edge of the boat, do what Stef tells you and don't eat too much junk food. Finally the two had set out on their adventure and both were equally nervous but excited as well.

"Why don't you go have a look at the gift shop while I wait in line?" Stef suggested, hoping to give Callie something to do and maybe have her pick out a souvenir.

Callie readily walked off in the direction of the gift shop and only nodded as she heard Stef call to her not to go anywhere else. Five minutes later Stef entered the store and found Callie skimming through a coffee table book about oceanography, a sea shell wind-chime hanging over one arm along with a _San Diego Ferry_ fridge magnet held tight in her hand.

"Ready to head to the boat?" Stef asked as she walked up behind Callie.

"Did you know there are over forty different types of dolphins?" Callie asked excitedly. "And it says here that the Killer Whale or Orca is actually considered to be a dolphin as well because it has teeth." The excitement on the girls face was everything Stef hoped for.

"How about we pay for all this and head to the boat before we miss it. You can read some more once the ride starts." Stef suggested, knowing that they only had about ten minutes before their ride was to begin and Stef wanted to get a good spot.

"Okay." Callie said as she walked towards the check out counter and pulled out a wad of cash from her backpack.

"I got it." Stef said, gently pushing her hand down. "My treat."

"Mom said I couldn't ask you for stuff." Callie explained, obviously more than willing to get her souvenirs and save her money as well.

"You didn't ask, did you?" Stef said with a wink and a smile as she forked over fifty dollars for Callie's purchases.

Callie smiled as she watched the girl carefully wrap up her wind-chimes and suggest that they leave their purchases with her and pick it up on their way out to avoid any damage.

Twenty minutes later the two were standing against the rail of the boat and watching the water foam up gently as the boat made it further out to sea.

"I wonder if we'll actually see any marine life." Callie said as she kept her eyes peels on the surface of the water. "Maybe a dolphin will do a flip or a whale will blow out some water."

"I doubt that." Stef laughed humorously. "Maybe we'll spot some fish though. Some people have spotted dolphins in the distance but they hardly ever do jumps this close to humans."

"That's because humans are cruel." Callie said with a bitterness in her voice that was clearly present from experience. "No other species ever hurts or kills just for fun or greed. Animals will only kill for food or defense."

"I do agree with you completely." Stef said, not sure she really wanted to continue this topic when they were having a good time but she felt she did have to. "But there are good people as well - people who do things for others with no expectations for anything in return."

"Hardly." Callie said. "There's always a catch. Popularity, money, fame."

Stef hated to think that a girl just twelve years old was so cynical and she knew that her choices when Callie was a baby had a lot to do with it. Hating that this was dampening the mood she decided to change the topic back to the marine life that had Callie smiling mere moments before.

"First one to spot something in the water gets to pick where we eat." Stef said, turning back towards the water as Callie did the same.

The two soon spotted small fish and even one that was fairly large and though they both kept a close eye for dolphins or whales, neither spotted any. However that did little to dampen the mood for Callie was not only enjoying the fish but also the fresh air and surprisingly the company as well.

"You can smell the salt in the air." Callie exclaimed as she took several deep breaths in while sticking her nose up in the air. "It's so fresh out here, no fumes, no smoke."

"It is nice." Stef agreed, also enjoying the cool breeze. Luckily for them it was a warm day and neither needed a jacket. "Makes you forget your troubles doesn't it?" She asked, momentarily forgetting about the case she and Max had been working on, trying to find a loophole for over a week now.

Stef waited for Callie to respond but whens he didn't get one she glanced over at the girl to find her taking short, shallow breaths, obviously struggling to get enough oxygen into her lungs.

"Honey what's wrong?" Stef asked with worry as she guided Callie to an empty seat and dug through her bag for some water. "Here, try having a sip." She quickly pulled out her phone but noticed that she had no service so far out at sea.

Callie carefully sipped on her water but it didn't help much for she was now lightheaded and slightly dizzy as well and she knew that she just had to wait it out. Not only was she ruining a great afternoon that she was actually enjoying but she was also embarrassed that this was happening if front of Stef. She knew that this wasn't a major issue but something that happened often when she got a bit over active and she knew that it would pass soon and all she needed was to wait it out but still, it was cutting into the ferry time.

"Keep sipping this." Stef instructed as she suddenly got up and matched towards the front of the boat to inform them of an emergency that required them to head back to shore immediately.

Callie tried to stop Stef and tell her that this would pass but Stef was having none of it. She wasn't experienced with Callie's episodes and she didn't want to take any chances.

"Please, Stef, I'm fine." Callie begged as she tried to will herself to return to normal so that Stef would stop causing a scene. But it was too late for the boat was already making a beeline for the marina and almost all the other fifty odd passengers on the boat were watching Callie with interest and concern. Callie wished more than anything that she would just disappear.

It took the boat only about ten minutes to return to shore even though it had taken about forty to get to where it was when Stef ordered them to turn around. An emergency siren up on the front was on and loud, warning jet-skieers and water-skieers to clear a path and the closer they got to shore the calmer Stef got. True to her world, Callie had already begun to feel better before they even made it half way. The dizziness and light-headedness was gone and so was the difficulty in breathing. The only thing that remained was the embarrassment and annoyance that Stef had created such a big scene.

The moment the boat reached the marina the other passengers parted to give Stef and Callie a clear path through. As soon as they were on solid ground Stef tried to steer Callie towards a bench so that she could once again sit down but Callie just shrugged out of her grasp and headed towards the exit.

"Where are you going?" Stef asked Callie as she tried to keep up with her.

"Home." Callie said, her voice filled with anger.

"Why don't we just sit down for a minute?" Stef suggested, hoping to call Lena and ask if there was anything specific she needed to do.

"Because I don't want to spend a nothing minute with you." Callie snapped back, no longer caring that the other passengers that were leaving the boat were still staring at them. "You made a huge scene over nothing." She yelled.

"It wasn't nothing." Stef argued back, refusing to apologize for not risking Callie's health and possibly her life. "You were having some sort of heart problem."

Callie rolled her eyes at Stef's ignorance. "I have those at least once a week." Callie explained. "All I need to do is sit down, drink some water and wait it out."

"Well, I didn't know that." Stef explained somewhat irritated. "I did what I thought was best."

"You didn't even listen to me." Callie argued back. "I tried to tell you but you just took over and turned the fucking boat around even though I was fine."

"I'm sorry." Stef finally did say, unsure of what else she could say. She was sorry that she upset Callie but she had been afraid and they were so far out at sea and so far away from any professional help.

"I don't care." Callie replied coldly. "I just want to go home."

"What about your stuff at the store?" Stef questioned, remembering the wind-chimes that Callie had loved just an hour ago.

"I don't want it." Callie said, her anger unrelenting.

"Callie's it's already bought." Stef reminded her, wanting desperately for the girl to keep something to commemorate their first successful outing.

"Then you keep it." Callie shot back, a coldness in her eyes that hurt Stef immensely.

Stef followed Callie out to the parking lot and the two of them drove back to Lena's apartment without speaking a word. Stef followed Callie up to the house and watched her march in and straight to her room without so much as a wave leaving Stef to explain to Lena why the two of them were home several hours before they were due back.


	16. Chapter 16

Lena had been reading, enjoying the few hours of just relaxing by herself when she heard the front door open and then slam shut with Stef still standing outside.

"What happened?" Lena asked after her angry daughter but got no response as she reopened the door to see a tired and defeated Stef standing there, massaging her temples. "What happened?" Lena asked again as she moved aside to give Stef space to enter.

"How dangerous are these…" She tried to find the words to describe what Callie had suffered. "Dizzy, shallow breathing things that Callie has?" She questioned, hoping that Callie was telling the truth and really didn't require any more serious medical help.

"They're mild, what happened?" Lena asked one more time, hoping for some details.

"It was actually a pretty nice day." Stef said, hating that things had gotten so messed up. "Well, it started out that way anyway. She was having fun and we were talking; not about anything important, but still, she _talked_ to me and she was smiling and it was just amazing but then she suddenly couldn't breath and she was taking these short, struggled breaths and feeling dizzy and I wasn't sure what to do and we were out in the middle of the water with no help and I couldn't even call you because there was no service and I just wanted to get back to shore as fast as possible."

"So what did you do?" What happened?" Lena asked, more curious than ever."

"I made the boat turn around." Stef said, afraid that Lena would react the same way that Callie did. "I thought I was doing the right thing but I think the emergency siren and everyone looking kinda upset her. She said she would be okay in a few minutes and asked me to just wait but…"

"I get it." Lena assured her. "I remember the first time she had an episode in my class, I was so worried. She was only ten years old and still hopping from home to home so she didn't put up any fuss but I was hyper enough for the both of us."

"I just didn't want anything to happen to her and I wanted to be able to get her to a hospital if I had to." Stef admitted, finally admitting to just how afraid she'd been.

"I know." Lena smiled supportively. "Maybe I should have given you a heads up about this. It happens often enough and it's really not a big deal unless it lasts for too long but it can be scary to watch. I had seen it several times by the time Callie actually came to live with me and I was still afraid when she first had it under my care. I called her doctor immediately and begged him to see her. I just needed someone who knew what was happening and what to do. But over the years I've learned to trust her as well. She knows what's happening inside her and even she doesn't want things to get worse so she's always honest about what she needs. I understand that it takes time to just leave something so important up to a twelve year old but it's okay to just step back and wait a minute."

"I'm sorry." Stef felt the need to apologize again. "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"And I appreciate that." Lena assured. "I definitely appreciate you pulling out all the stops to make sure she's okay."

"I love her." Stef whispered as her eyes filled with tears. The images that had flashed through her mind had been horrifying, some of them ending with Callie being wheeled off the boat in a body bag and in that moment she realized just how much she'd missed out on over the last twelve years. It hadn't just been Callie's life she'd ruined but her own as well and she didn't even know it until now.

Lena wasn't sure how to respond to that for she wasn't sure how she felt about it. She knew that Stef loved Callie, it was only natural why else would she spend years trying to find her and stick around after the way that Callie had treated her. But for Stef to realize that the love she had for her daughter was a special love made her nervous for she wasn't sure if Stef was now reconsidering this arrangement. What if Stef changed her mind and decided to fight for custody?

* * *

Stef felt extremely exhausted as she drove back to the marina to pick up the things that Callie had bought. Even if Callie never accepted them, she still wanted to keep them - she didn't have much in connection with Callie and these were little treasures that kept her tethered to her daughter.

Stef had always heard people talk about how things were always intensified once you became a mother but she never truly understood it. Yes, she had felt a great love for the baby she'd had and she hoped and wished for her to have a great life but she never realized that it wasn't just an intense love but also a fear, a strength and a determination that went along with it. The fear that something bad will happen to your child whether it's a fall on the playground causing a grazed knee or a major accident. A strength that enables you do protect your child no matter what - taking them to a doctor for a painful shot so that they can grow up healthy and strong or jumping in front of a bullet aimed at your offspring and a determination to do what is best for your child despite the pain or ivconviencene it may cause either of you. Today Stef felt all of those things and today Stef truly felt like a parent for the first time. It wasn't important that she didn't have custody of her daughter; it didn't matter that she didn't know her favorite movie or color or pizza toppings. It was immaterial that she hadn't seen her in nearly twelve years - what mattered was that Callie's life had been in danger and Stef did everything in her power to ensure her safety.

Sitting on her bed with only a bed-side table lamp on Stef held the wind-chime in her hand and gently brushed her fingers against it, creating a soft, melodic sound. She imagined a two year old Callie laughing excitedly at the sound. She pictured holding her hand as she walked her to her first day of school and wiping her tears when a boy she liked broke her heart. She imagined a day when Callie would come running to her with a wide smile and a diamond on her finger and she wondered what it would be like to stand by her daughter and watch as she brought her own little girl into the world - a world where they would stay together and never be parted for any reason.

Slowly Stef felt the tears come, first one by one but then faster and harder as she realized that even thought she hadn't missed a lot of these things yet, she would miss them anyway for while she would always be Callie's mother; Callie was not her daughter.


	17. Chapter 17

Once again things seemed to be going downhill for Callie. First she got a 'D' on a physics test that Lena knew she'd barely studied for and so Lena was now insisting that they work together a little bit every evening. Next a girl in her class was having a Halloween party that Callie was not allowed to attend for health reason - she couldn't afford to be startled time and time again, putting extra pressure on her heart - besides, she wasn't even allowed all that sugar anyway. Besides all that Stef was still calling to make plans that Callie had managed to avoid for two weeks now but it was getting harder and harder to avoid her and Lena wasn't making it very easy either. And the worst of it all, as usual, was that Callie still didn't have a date for her adoption. She couldn't understand what the problem was for if Stef hadn't shown up then she would have already been adopted by now. She had promised not to stand in their way but apparently there were just no days available and Lena didn't seem to be pushing too hard either. Instead, it seemed to Callie, that the woman was pushing her more towards Stef that fighting for them to be legally mother and daughter.

"Well you have to take them." Lena demanded as she pushed Callie's medication back towards her when Callie refused to do everything according to Lena's schedule. "Come on Callie, don't be difficult." Lena ordered when Callie made no attempt to take the pills. "Okay fine, don't take them, it's your heart and you're the one that has to suffer." She walked of, deeming Callie old enough to know that some things just need to be done whether we like them or not.

Callie watched Lena walk away to her room as she took another bite of her pork chop and chewed slowly, realizing that even though she'd succeeded in getting Lena to leave her alone she still wasn't feeling any better. She finished her dinner and rinsed out her plate and then grabbed a popsicle from the freezer - one of the few treats she was allowed regularly since they were natural sugars. She sucked on the cold cherry flavored icy but even that did little to cheer her up. Finally with a sigh she grabbed a glass of water and swallowed her pill before heading towards Lena's room.

"I took it." Callie said as she opened the bedroom door to find Lena getting herself sorted for school the next day.

"Good girl." Lena said with a smile, surprisingly forgiving despite Callie's behavior. "Homework?" She questioned.

"Done." Callie answered as she picked up a worksheet that Lena had made and browsed over the list of states and capitals that the ten year olds in her class had to match. "I wish seventh grade was this easy." Callie said as she flipped to another worksheet of sentence construction.

"You're a smart girl honey." Lena offered. "It doesn't take a lot from you to do well in school. If you just paid a little attention and focused on what you're doing then it wouldn't take so long."

"I know, I'm just tired." Callie complained. "There's so much going on and I can't make my mind stop worrying."

"About what?" Lena asked as she put aside her papers to give her daughter her full attention.

"Everything." Callie replied. "The adoption, school, my stupid heart, why can't I just be normal?" She asked rhetorically as she once again picked up a worksheet to glance at it so that she didn't have to look at Lena. She knew that her mother was going to tell her that she was strong and brave and that life brings everyone down in different ways. She would tell her that she'd always be there for her and in the end it would all work out. But Callie didn't want to hear all that. She just wanted a break for just a little while because she was so tired all the time. "I wish life was this easy." She mumbled exhaustedly as she read the worksheet and noticed that all the students had to do was make compound words out of the list given - fish could be fishbowl or starfish and book could be notebook or bookends.

"This wasn't so easy for you when you were ten." Lena reminded her. "For a ten-year-old this is hard and all they want to do is write down the number of sides a shape has or what animal lives where. You're twelve so you are given what twelve-year-old's find hard."

"Yeah well no twelve-year-old I know has had to deal with all I've dealt with - foster care, hospitals since before I can remember, no fun, no family and a woman that wants to destroy me more than she already has."

"You have a family." Lena said firmly. "Stef is not taking that from you. You have people who love you and no matter what happens with Stef or CPS or anything else you will never be alone, I will always, _always_ be there for you and I'm pretty sure that Stef will too. Grams and Gramps would do anything for you as well so don't you ever think, even for a minute, that you are all alone.

"I know." Callie admitted." It's just exhausting still, it's like I'm hanging on by a thread, just waiting for the last strands to shred. I never know when my heart will decide to crash again or when I'll finally just get adopted and all this will be over. I can never really make plans because it all depends on how I feel that day. I just want to be like other kids who only worry about what to wear to look cool and talk about movies and movie stars."

Lena understood Callie completely - it wasn't easy worrying each time Callie had to do any physical activity in case it was more that she was ready for. It was tiring constantly making sure you had everything needed in case of an emergency and it was heartbreaking to stand and watch and not really be able to do anything about it.

"Let's play hooky tomorrow." Lena finally said. "We'll take off and just do something fun."

"You're going to miss school?" Callie confirmed disbelievingly with a raised eyebrow. "For no good reason? Ya right."

"Ya." Lena nodded back dramatically. "We could both do with a break and just have some fun. What do you say?"

Callie stared at Lena for a few moments trying to figure out if she was really serious and when she realized that Lena was being serious she jumped in excitement. "Yes" She yelled. "Let's go."

Though it was a little late, Lena called an administrator to let them know that she wouldn't be able to come into school the next day and then the two of them packed a small bag with anything they may need and fell asleep, dreaming of where they would go and what they would do. First thing in the morning they grabbed some food and water, made sure they had everything they would need, added an extra check on all Callie's medications and necessities, got into the car and just drove.


	18. Chapter 18

"I can't believe we're actually here." Callie said, the smile on her face so wide Lena was sure her cheeks must be hurting. "I've wanted to come here my whole life."

"I've been here once three or four times but I don't much care for the rides." Lena said as she drove into the parking lot of Disney World three hours after they left home.

The two of them had just begun driving with no real plan and just the open road in front of them. They stopped at a local burger joint for a bite to eat and there on the table was a brochure of tourist attractions that someone had left behind. Glancing through it Callie's eyes lit up at the pictures of Disney World and just like that they had a destination.

"I guess I can't even try the rides, can I?" Callie asked, a bit disappointed as she realized that even here she wouldn't get to just be a kid like everyone else.

Lena shook her head sadly as she too realized that no matter what, Callie would never truly get to experience the type of childhood that other kids took for granted. Even if she ever got adopted and never had to deal with the system again, her heart would always hold her back.

"There's lots of stuff to do here baby." Lena encouraged. "So many things to see; they have shows and performances and the parade in the afternoon. There are restaurants and games and shops. The rides aren't the only thing and besides, there may be some that we can try. You just have to promise me to take it easy and not push yourself too far. If you start to feel even a little bit tired or overworked you have to tell me."

"I promise." Callie said, accepting the offer Lena was giving her. She wasn't about to ruin this fantastic day. Everything she seemed to need was rolled up into this one day - She was at Disney World, she was getting to spend time alone with Lena and for once they weren't arguing about anything and there was no homework or chores or dinner to cook. It was just the two of them in the happiest place on earth and Callie wasn't about to ruin it just because she couldn't sit on a roller coaster.

* * *

Callie couldn't stop laughing at the ridiculous jokes at the Laugh Floor. She'd texted in at least a dozen jokes but so far none had been chosen but it didn't really matter. She was having the time of her life. They had already seen several characters including princesses, villains and woodland creatures and Lena had gotten numerous pictures of Callie next to them and Callie had even convinced Lena to stand for some as well.

"Let's head to the costume store, I bet they have one of the little mermaid just your size." Lena teased gently as she pulled Callie towards the Bibbity Bobbity Boutique.

"No way." Callie said as she pulled her arm away laughing. "I am so NOT letting you take pictures of me in there."

"Come on honey." Lena encouraged with a laugh. "It'll be fun. There'll be lots of kids there."

"Yeah, six year olds." Callie pointed out, shaking her head. "I wouldn't go in there if my life depended on it."

"Spoilt sport." Lena chastised. "They only take kids up to twelve years so this is the last chance you'll get."

"I'll live." Callie assured. "And so will you." She said teasingly as she turned to find something else they could do. "You think I could ride the Carrousel?" Callie asked hopefully. "It's not fast, it's like riding a train."

Lena nodded, hoping that she wasn't allowing Callie to push herself too far. It wasn't necessarily the activity that caused Callie's heart to race but sometimes just the excitement was enough.

"Let's go." Callie pulled Lena before she had a chance to change her mind. "And after this let's eat. I'm starved." She declared, knowing that a little food and down time would make Lena worry less.

* * *

"Anywhere you want." Lena said with a smile as Callie glimpsed through the guide map looking for somewhere she wanted to eat.

"How about Tomorrowland Terrace Restaurant?" Callie asked as she glanced through what looked good. "See what the burgers of the future taste like?" Callie asked with a mischievous grin.

"Sounds perfect." Lena agreed as the two walked arm in arm towards the future. "And if you skip a drink there I bet we could find a funnel cake somewhere in the Magic Kingdom.

"Deal!" Callie said with a smile, remembering the first time she'd ever eaten a funnel cake at the San Diego Renaissance Festival just a few months after she'd come to live with Lena. She had fallen in love with the sugary donut instantly and it was one of the rare treats that Lena allowed, simply because it wasn't easily available.

* * *

"I need a nap." Lena groaned as she finished the last of her fries. She'd eaten like a hog - a massive cheese burger with a side of fries and a salad.

Callie had gotten through just half of her Bacon Burger but was forced to finish her salad as well as a pomegranate juice. "Me too, but there's just too much left to do." She said, digging the map out of her back pocket as Lena checked her phone for messages. "Let's go on the jungle safari." Callie said, her excitement growing at the prospect of animals.

"Okay." Lena agreed. "Lets go get us some Lions and Tigers and Bears."

Callie took several pictures of the various animals that roamed the open grounds of the animal enclosure. Each animal only got Callie more and more excited as she tried to get the best pictures of them all. "Look at that one." Callie showed Lena a picture she took of a lion yawning. "I think my head could fit in his mouth." She laughed as she pretended to be worried by the thought. Around her kids in princess and pirate costumes were jumping and yelling but she didn't care. All she wanted was to take pictures and see everything she could.

"Next we're going to the costume store." Lena informed her daughter as she watched a little seven year old Tinker Bell pretend to cast a spell on her older brother. "I can't come all the way here and have no memories of my daughter as a part of the Magic Kingdom."

"You're relentless." Callie said exasperatedly but she laughed as well. "Okay fine, but only because this has been such an amazing day and I'll cast a spell of you myself if anyone ever sees those pictures." She warned, pretending to wave a wand in the same way that the little girl had just done to her brother.

* * *

"This is humiliating." Callie said as she walked towards the dressing room with a mermaid costume in her hand. She was clearly one of the very, very few older kids there. The shop was basically filled with kids under eight all running around excitedly with various costumes clutched tightly in their hands. "There's no one here my age."

"Sure there are." Lena said as she glance around at two teenagers standing by the Cinderella section.

"Mom, they are sales girls, they don't count." Callie stated clearly, though she was just a little relieved to notice a girl maybe just a year younger than her over by the Beauty and the Beast costumes.

"Just go." Lena ordered playfully as she shoved Callie in to try on the sea-shell bra and tail. The store carried everything from wigs to toenails and ever accessory imaginable. There were crowns and jewels, swords and shields, potions and cauldrons and wands and wings. In each section were a few props to add to the theme and in the Little Mermaid section were a few rocks with cardboard waves surrounding them. Anyone dressing up as Ariel could sit on the rocks and have their picture taken.

Lena couldn't help laughing when Callie emerged in a Mermaid costume. A netted top that featured sea-shell cups and a fishtail skirt in a fish-scale print. "It's missing something though." Lena said as she looked around for just the right touch. Moments later she walked over to the wigs and pulled out a long red-head wig and plopped it onto Callie's head. "Perfect." She delegated as she ordered Callie towards the rocks.

"NO WAY." Callie said laughing hard at what Lena wanted her to do.

"Come on." Lena encouraged. "It's perfect."

Looking around at all the people smiling and laughing the the store, Callie decided to just go for it and so she hopped onto the rock and perched herself mermaid style and pretended to be belting out a song as Lena took several pictures. A fan blew a rather strong breeze that made Callie's fake hair fly out behind her, giving the illusion of an actual sea breeze and Callie leaned over to pretend to splash in the waves. Ten minutes later the two were laughing hysterically as other children began climbing on the rocks after watching the fun that Callie was having.

Callie quickly changed out of her costume and headed back to her mother, actually thankful that she'd been pushed into this - as embarrassing as it was it was just as fun and Callie was glad that she hadn't missed out.

"I need to use the restroom." Lena said, still smiling as she watched her daughter carefree and laughing for once. "You too?" She asked.

"No." Callie shook her head. "I'm going to wait out here and see what we can do next." She said as she sat down on a bench not far from the restrooms.

"Okay." Lena agreed, just hang on to the stuff." She said, placing her bag, hat and phone on the bench next to Callie and headed towards the bathrooms.

Callie was busy going through the map, planning one more adventure before it was time for the parade when she felt Lena's cellphone buzz beside her. Glancing at it she saw a message from Stef. Curious, she picked it up and opened it and within moments her blood began to boil as she saw the three teary-eyed laughing emojis in response to the Mermaid picture of her that Lena had sent.


	19. Chapter 19

Scrolling upwards Callie noticed that Lena had been texting Stef on and off through the day. In fact the tread went up all the way to the night before when they'd decided to disappear altogether. Texts went back and forth almost daily before that too but this was supposed to have been something special for just the two of them.

 _Tomorrow Callie and I are going to skip school. I think she could really use a relaxing day._

 ** _Is everything okay? Is she sick?_**

 _She's fine. I just think she's got a bit too much to deal with right now. Just want to get her mind off some things. Maybe we'll go to the beach or just drive. Anything really._

 ** _Okay. She's not having another heart thing is she?_**

 _No. I think she's just tired. Our lawyer called to say he couldn't get a date for the adoption yet and after the boat incident I think she just needs to get out for a bit._

 _ **Okay. Have fun.**_

 _Thank you. And I'll try and fix a day for our next meeting. Let me talk to her._

 ** _Okay. Thank you. You're sure she's okay right? There's nothing wrong with her?_**

 _No. She's fine. It's just a day off - forget her worries for a while._

 ** _Okay then. Sound's exciting. Have fun._**

 _We're off on our adventure. I'll tell you where we end up once we get there._

 ** _Have fun and drive safe. Call me if you need anything at all._**

 _We're having lunch at the greasiest place I've ever set foot in. I can feel a layer of oil on my skin. But C is happy so it's worth it._

 _Okay. Disney it is. Another hour and a half and we'll be there._

 _She's like a kid in a candy store. (Picture of Callie smiling from ear to ear as she looked up at the Castle for the first time)_

 _ **Sorry I missed your last few texts, been on the phone all morning. She does look happy. She has such a beautiful smile.**_

 _Yes she does._

 _ **I think your day off was a good idea.**_

 _I'm full of those. (Smily face emoji)._

 _ **How is it going? Did she get to meet the Little Mermaid yet?**_

 _Not yet. We saw Pocahontas a few minutes ago though. (Picture Attachment). And Cinderella and Prince Charming (Picture Attached)_

 _Okay, I convinced her to dress up as Ariel. I'm so excited._

 _ **I want to see. Take loads of pictures. Take a video too.**_

 _(Picture Attached)_

 _(Picture Attached)_

 _(Picture Attached)_

And finally Callie reached the end of the thread - the message that prompted her to go through Lena's phone in the first place.

 ** _(Teary-eyed Laughing Emoji, Teary-eyed Laughing Emoji, Teary-eyed Laughing Emoji)_**

 ** _I bet you could blackmail her with those pictures for the rest of her life._**

 ** _She looks so happy. I've never seen her smile like that._**

Callie could see that Stef was typing another message when Lena walked up to her.

"What you looking at baby?" Lena asked as she took a seat beside Callie.

But Callie looked up at Lena was daggers in her eyes. "Why?" She asked as she tossed Lena's phone towards her just as Stef sent the message she'd been typing. "Why do you keep telling her everything?"

"Honey, I just told her we were going out today." Lena tried to explain as she moved all the bags from between them so she could get closer to Callie. She tried to reach for the girl but Callie just moved further away.

"This was supposed to be our trip - just us - but you still had to include her." Callie spat. "She isn't my mom. You don't have to run every fucking thing past her. We don't need her permission or approval for anything." She didn't care that there were people around who were now watching her outburst. "You're supposed to be on my side."

"I _am_ on your side." Lena defended. "I wasn't looking for her permission. I just told her because she cares about you too. She's been worried about you ever since you had the episode. She asks me how you are practically everyday."

"So what?" Callie asked, unfazed by what Lena was telling her. "You tell her I'm fine and leave it. She doesn't need an explanation. Why did you have to tell her about today. It's not like she'd even know that we left. It was supposed to be just us."

"It is just us." Lena said. "I didn't invite her to join us and she didn't even ask."

"But you told her." Callie almost cried. "You shared our secret. No one knew where we were or what we were doing."

"I'm sorry Callie." Lena said, not realizing how Callie had viewed the day. Yes, she hadn't told the school what they were doing but she didn't realize it was supposed to be a secret. She moved closer to Callie again but with no success.

"No your not." Callie said, pulling away once again, finally working up the courage to ask the question that had been burning inside her for months. "You've been pushing me towards her ever since she showed up. Why do you want me to like her so much? Do you not want me anymore? Do you want her to get custody of me?"

"What? No, Callie!" Lena cried as she got up and grabbed Callie firmly, refusing to let her push her away again. "That is not at all what's happening." Lena said as she too began to cry. "I love you so much baby and I am not giving you away. I am waiting for your adoption day just as much as you."

"You don't seem like it." Callie said. "You're fine each time we don't get a date."

"No, I'm not." Lena assured. "I just don't show it because I don't want you to see how upset I am. I don't want you to feel worse. I pretend that I'm fine to make you feel like I'm certain it will happen soon. I'm sorry if that wasn't the right thing."

"So if you still want me then why are you pushing me towards Stef?" Callie questioned.

Lena pulled away from Callie then and led them both back towards the bench. Slowly the onlookers began to disperse and finally it was just the two of them again. It hurt Lena to think that Callie would ever doubt the love she had for her. No, she didn't give birth to Callie and no, she didn't know her until she was already ten years old but that didn't mean that she loved her any less than any biological mother could love a child that she had felt wiggling inside her. She understood that the constant postponement of the adoption would make Callie apprehensive but she didn't expect it to be about her love for the girl. The adoption was only a legal format that resulted in the United States Government to acknowledge their union but in no way did that piece of paper determined when or how much Lena loved Callie.

"I love you." Lena said firmly. "I love you with all of my heart; don't you ever doubt that. None of this has anything to do with sending you away. I will fight to keep you until the day I die. I can't control your adoption but I will not give up until you are legally my daughter. But adopted or not, no one can control how much I love you or that I already see you as my kid. Callie, nothing can ever, ever change that. Not CPS, not Stef, not even death can change the way we feel about each other."

"Then why do you want me to like Stef so much?" Callie questioned, not really understanding.

"She's your family too." Lena answered truthfully. "I'm not giving her custody, she has no rights but she is the woman who gave birth to you and I think that's an important bond to maintain. Why don't you like her?"

"She abandoned me." Callie answered easily. "She didn't want me."

"You know Hannah Rogers right, she's your classmate Gracie's older sister." Lena said as Callie nodded. "She's a good girl - smart, kind. She's sixteen now. Do you think she's ready to be a mom?"

"No." Callie answered, wondering what Hannah had to do with any of this. "She's just a kid."

"Exactly." Lena answered. "Stef was just a kid too. Stef was even younger than Hannah is now. She was a smart girl just like Hannah. One day she gave in to teenage hormones and she ended up pregnant. It wasn't planned, it was a mistake that resulted in a baby. None of that falls on you - you aren't a mistake, you aren't at fault. But that didn't make her ready for a baby and it didn't make her not love you. She did love you, enough to know that you deserved better than a fifteen year old mother. She gave you to parents that were supposed to love you too - that were able to give you everything you needed."

"But they didn't." Callie pointed out.

"I know." Lena agreed. "And I hate them for it and I know Stef hates them for it too but I do know that she also feels guilty for the life you ended up with. She never wanted that for you. She didn't give you away because she didn't love you or want you and that's why I think it's important for you two to find something to tie you together. You both need to let go of all the anger you feel. Besides, there's so much we can learn from her. She knows your family history and with your condition maybe that could help us."

"So just ask her. Why do I have to like her for it." Callie asked.

"You don't." Lena replied. "You never _have_ to like her. But the truth is, I'm alone. I have no brothers or sisters and no wife and my parents aren't exactly young. If something were to ever happen to me I don't want you to be all alone again. I don't want you to go back into the system and struggle the way that you did. I want you to have people that love you and will do whatever it takes to look after you. Stef is that person Callie and wouldn't it be nice to actually know the person you would go and live with? Have her actually know how to take care of you?"

"She didn't know how to take care of me on the boat that day." Callie said. "She wasn't even ready to listen to me when I told her what to do."

"It's not easy baby. Leaving something so important up to a twelve year old is not easy. And just waiting isn't easy either. She'd never seen an episode before and she just did the best she could. She couldn't help you but she made damn sure that she could get you the help if you needed it and I will always be grateful for that. She does love you Callie, I'm sure of that and I honestly think it would be nice if you eased up on her just bit. She isn't asking you for much, just to get to know you."

"Fine." Callie agreed. "I'll be nicer."

"That's my girl." Lena smiled appreciatively. "And I'm sorry I told here we were here. She just cares about you and I thought she'd enjoy seeing you so happy. I will respect your privacy from now on."

"I can't believe you told her that I like the Little Mermaid." Callie grumbled good naturally.

"Well her secret is that she's afraid of spiders." Lena told her, evening the score as Callie laughed at the image of Stef jumping up in fright with a tiny spider looking up at her in confusion.


	20. Chapter 20

"So she's gone?" Callie confirmed as she stared at Lena for a response, pausing her homework for a moment.

"Just for a few weeks." Lena clarified. "She's got a case she's been working on and the court date is at the end of the month so she's gone up to get their case together and then go in front of the judge. She'll be back."

"I guess she's been taking a lot of time off work to be here, hasn't she." Callie asked, suddenly realizing that Stef actually had a whole other life in another city that she knew nothing about.

"She's been working from here." Lena told her. "It helps that it's her own company so she can do what she wants."

"She's _rich_ so she can do whatever she wants." Callie corrected. "It must be nice to not have to worry about anything."

"I don't really think that's it." Lena said. "I know that Stef grew up in a rich family and it seemed like she had it all but she doesn't strike me as the type of person who takes it for granted. Has she ever given you a reason to believe she feels entitled?"

"No." Callie answered honestly.

"It's sort of like what I tell you." Lena began, putting aside her work to give her daughter her full attention. "You were born with circumstances and conditions beyond your control. You had no family, you suffered in a terrible system and you have a heart condition that alters your life drastically but it's up to you to decide the type of person you want to be. You could be a bitter girl, mean and cruel and blame it on your history or you can be kind and considerate of other people because just like other don't understand what you go though they have their own struggles that you don't understand. Stef was also born into a rich, socialite family and she can't be blamed for that. But she turned out into a hard-working, honest person when she could easily have just lived off her father's money. Who you are born to or what you're born with isn't as important as what you do with the part of you that you can control."

"Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if she hadn't given me away." Callie answered, her eyes looking far off into a distance where she could see the image in her mind's eye. "Maybe her dad would have been mad or embarrassed or whatever but they probably could have fixed my heart by now. They had the money to pay for it."

"What about the technology?" Lena asked. "No amount of money can fix something they don't know how to fix."

"I guess." Callie answered, well aware of the fact that no one really knew how to fix her heart. There was no way to just make her heart stronger. Eventually she knew that she would need a transplant once her heart gave way completely but until then she just had to make do with the one she had.

Lena completely understood what Callie was saying for she too spent nights wondering what life would be like if they magically found a cure for Callie, especially on nights right after Callie was hospitalized for one reason or the other but she also knew that the 'what if' game was nothing more than just that - a game. "You can play the 'what if' game for ever but the truth is you never know what the right answer is until it's all too late. I do know one thing though, I wouldn't have gotten you if she had kept you and as much as I wish you never suffered, I'm so lucky that I get to call you my daughter."

"I'm lucky too." Callie agreed wholeheartedly. "And I found you when i was just ten. There are kids who age out of the system everyday - especially ones like me with bigger problems than just no parents. At first I thought she was trying to buy her way into my life." She admitted. "That bracelet was so fancy and expensive and she just acted like it was supposed to make it all better."

"You are important to her Callie and she's new at this too, she's not sure what to do so she's doing what she imagines is the best." Lena explained, thinking of the bracelet that lay in the back of her closet, unknown to Callie. She had taken it back to the store and had it repaired. She wanted it for Callie for the day that she finally learned to forgive Stef. That bracelet wasn't overly fancy or the most expensive piece in the store but it was special and it showed that Stef had actually put some thought into what Callie might like and yes, it was more expensive than something Lena would allow a preteen to wear on a daily basis but considering the circumstances, it was definitely a thoughtful gift.

"I know, you think she's still mad about it?" Callie asked as she bit her lower lip. "That I ruined it?"

"I think she was more hurt than mad." Lena responded. "It wasn't about the money or the jewelry but the meaning behind it."

"I'll apologize the next time I see her." Callie said voluntarily. "I know it was mean. I kept the jewelry box though." She offered, hoping that Lena would see that she really was trying to see things from Stef's point of view. "I haven't used it yet, it's still in the box but it's there."

"That's a start." Lena smiled lovingly at her daughter. "I'm so proud of you."

Callie smiled back, proud of herself too as she went back to her homework while Lena went back to lesson plans for the coming weeks. But Callie couldn't really concentrate for she kept wondering more and more about Stef - the real Stef that had a life and a job and a family - not the one that Callie hated to pieces.

"You learned a lot about her didn't you?" Callie finally asked Lena as she thought about how Lena had an answer for almost every question that Callie had.

"I want to know things." Lena admitted. "She's a part of you; a window to a world about you that I know nothing about."

"So what's in San Diego, besides work?" Callie asked curiously. "Does she have a boyfriend there?"

It was then that Lena realized that she didn't know as much about Stef as she thought she did. She only knew the parts that were directly related to Callie but what about the rest? What about the part that was related to _her_ and the feelings she was obviously beginning to feel for the woman who had given birth to her daughter.

* * *

Stef lay awake on her last night in San Francisco just staring and smiling at the pictures that Lena had sent of Callie. She couldn't get over the wide smile and sparkle in Callie's eyes and wondered if there's ever be a day when Callie would smile like that around her. Each day her heart ached just a little bit more at what she'd missed out with her daughter and what she would miss out thought the rest of her life but she knew that she wasn't what Callie wanted or needed and so she just had to lie in the bed she'd made.

After she'd finished her education and built a very successful career she had thought that finding her daughter would fill that void in her heart but the truth was that she wanted more - much more than Callie was giving her right now and probably more than Lena would allow but for now she would take whatever she could get. She couldn't wait to get back to what she now considered home and she her little girl again. The triumph she used to feel from winning a huge case like she did just that day was nothing compared to what she felt about seeing Callie again and she was just counting the minutes until it was time to leave for the airport.


	21. Chapter 21

"And it's gonna be a slumber party." Callie said excitedly. She was sitting on the edge of Lena's desk on Monday afternoon waiting for her mother to pack up for the day as she animately told her about the birthday party she was invited to over the weekend. "But only six girls were invited to sleep over. The boys and the rest of the girls are only invited for the party."

"That's nice baby." Lena said, getting her classroom cleared up after another school day. "I'm guessing you are one of those six." Lena teased.

"Duh." Callie said like a typical teenager. "Tanya, Gracie, Michelle, Amelia, Kaylie and I." She listed proudly. "It's not only my first boy-girl party but it's also my first sleepover and I _cannot_ wait." She emphasized.

Suddenly a thought struck her - she'd never spent a night away from Lena from the time she'd come to live with her and she wasn't sure if Lena would be okay with her going away overnight. "I can go, can't I?" She asked, worried that maybe Lena wouldn't let her because of all the activity and dietary rules she had to follow.

"I'll talk to Zoey's mom about your heart, but yes, you can go." Lena smiled, glad that she didn't have to disappoint her daughter about this since it was obviously so important to her.

"Yes!" Callie cheered before giving her mother the sweetest you-love-me-and-I-know-it-so-please-give-me-what-I-want smiles. "Can we go shopping for a sleeping bag and some other stuff?" She asked.

"Define 'other stuff'." Lena said, not making any promises before she heard the list although she was already certain that she'd get Callie whatever she wanted within reason. This was a big deal for Callie - not only because it was a first major party but because she was finally beginning to do things that other kids her age were doing. For so long she did what she was told because she never knew when she would be sent away and even when that wasn't an issue, her heart was always a reason for her to lay low but now that she had finally found a steady and permanent home she was beginning to open up a lot more and Lena wanted to encourage that as much as possible.

* * *

"So, Stef came back last night." Lena told Callie as they drove home from school. Callie had given Lena the list of things she wanted which included a couple of new outfits, new pajamas, a sleeping bag, and a birthday present for Zoey and Lena had agreed provided it all didn't come to more than a hundred dollars. They had decided to go shopping after school on Thursday and Lena wanted to ask Callie if it was okay to invite her to join them.

"Her case is over?" Callie asked off-handedly, typing away on her phone at the same time. Callie hadn't really noticed Stef's absence over the last three weeks. If she was honest she actually felt relieved that her life was back to what it used to be before Stef showed up in the first place.

"Yes." Lena replied. "She said they won."

"Cool." Callie replied.

"So I was thinking that maybe we could ask Stef to join us tomorrow." Lena explained. "I know she wants to see you and I think she may be better at helping you pick out clothes than I would. I wasn't exactly the dress-up kind of girl."

"NO!" Callie said sarcastically as she took in Lena's simple dress, comfortable shoes and the chain and watch that she'd worn everyday since Callie had met her. Callie knew that Lena had spent her childhood days reading books and writing poems and that parties and fashion were far from her mind. "Sure, she can come." Callie finally answered as Lena pretended to shove her out of the moving car.

"Sure?" Lena confirmed, hoping that Callie wasn't just saying yes to please her. It had been obvious to her that Callie felt a little relieved when Stef had left and while she'd tried to keep the conversation about her going, Callie had mellowed a lot with the distance. But one thing Lena was grateful for was the fact that Callie kept an open mind about her - she hadn't made one snappy remark or even mentioned her joy at Stef's departure.

"Yeah." Callie agreed. "She's got a nice sense of style." She said. It was far more glamorous than Callie was looking for but still, it would be nice to have someone who knows what they're talking about to give some input. It wasn't that Stef dressed up on a daily basis, in fact she seemed to have a casual sense of style that just happened to look fantastic. She barely ever wore makeup and her jewelry was simple and elegant. Callie imagined that she had inherited her parents' need to be presentable at all times and in some ways she didn't think it was such a bad thing.

"You want to know a secret?" Lena asked her daughter mischievously, thinking back to the very first day she met Stef and then several other times afterwards. "I'm dying to know how she's able to wear white pants and never get a spot on them."

"I KNOW!" Callie said in full agreement. "God, I'd be a total mess if I wore white like that. Maybe she's a witch, maybe it's some sort of witch-crafty magic."

"Awesome, maybe I can ask her to cast a spell on you so that you never argue with me again and always do what I say." Lena teased her daughter, enjoying having the fun-loving, carefree girl back. She'd missed this side of Callie in the last so many months.

"Maybe I could ask her to make you the most lenient parent in the world." Callie responded easily. "I mean, you did say she'd do practically anything for me right?" She raised her eyebrow suggestively. But her smile disappeared when she noticed Lena's face fall slightly. "You know I don't want anything from her." Callie said sincerely. "If it hadn't been for you I won't have even talked to her. You're my mom."

Lena looked at her daughter wondering how their roles had suddenly reversed. In that moment she realized that Callie wasn't a little kid anymore - she was going to co-ed parties, spending nights away from her and understanding that sometimes Lena was the one who needed a hug and a bit of reassurance. It all seemed to be happening too fast for Lena and while she was sure every parent felt that when their kids were growing up, she still felt gipped for she had only had less than three years with her beautiful daughter.

* * *

"Polar-bear cubs in red scarves and hats on one and pink ice-cream cones on the other. And they're both long sleeved with collars and pockets in the pants." Callie said, giving Lena an accusing look.

Stef laughed slightly as she browsed through the rack of more trendy, teenage-approved sleepwear. They had decided to start with that since Callie declared that she wouldn't be caught dead in her 'little kid' pajamas at Zoey's slumber party.

"How about this?" Stef asked as she pulled off a short-sleeved T-shirt with a glittery, rainbow striped heart on the front and a pair of rainbow striped shorts to go with it.

"No." Callie said, looking at the outfit. "No hearts, and no glitter." She said.

"Okay." Stef put it back and continued to look while Callie and Lena did the same. Lena still kept looking at things that would keep her little girl a little girl longer and Callie had now stopped even looking at her suggestions.

"Puppies, more hearts, bows, ugh." Callie complained as she went through each item on the rack. "God, are girls my age really into stuff like this?" She asked disgustedly at the amount of pink in front of her."

"I like the one with the bows." Lena said, pulling it off and smiling.

Callie turned to Stef as if to say _see, this is what I'm talking about_ and Stef just smiled back, giving her a wink letting her know that she won't allow Lena to leave this store with any of that.

"I got it." Stef finally said triumphantly though she didn't pull the item off the rack just yet. "I know you said you wanted shorts and these are long pajamas and they have some color but I think they are great and they are totally you." She said and finally pulled out a pair of pajama pants with multicolored music notes and symbols all over them. "You could find a solid t-shirt in any of these colors and it would look great."

"Well?" Lena asked, waiting for Callie's response. It really was perfect for Callie and in a way it was just a little bit more childish than Callie had wanted but she was glad for that.

"I love them." Callie smiled at Stef and Lena. "But I'm not getting a pink top, even thought the drawstring is pink."

"I'm sure we can find something." Stef agreed. "There are purple notes and green ones too so maybe we can find something in those colors."

* * *

The rest of the afternoon went in much the same way as Callie tried to find clothes that suited her style but could still be considered cool at the same time. She was realizing that she now had to find a way to fit into the world of kids her age and that wasn't necessarily in her own comfort zone.

"How about this?" Stef asked as she held up a top - black V-neck with a ring holding the bust together. It was quite sophisticated but still appropriate for a young girl.

"No." Callie said forcefully and turned back to the comfortable t-shirts she preferred.

Stef looked to Lena a little unsure of what had happened. It was obvious that there was something wrong with the top besides just not being Callie's style only Stef didn't know what it was.

"Scar." Lena mouthed as she pointed to her own chest from the top of her breasts to the bottom.

Stef nodded in understanding as she glanced to Callie with a sad expression on her face. She wondered just how bad it must be considering the number of surgeries the poor girl had already had. Looking sadly back at the top that Callie would never be able to wear she hung it back on the rack and continued to look. There was still so much about her daughter that she had left to learn.


	22. Chapter 22

"Do not forget your medication." Lena warned for the fifth time in just fifteen minutes. "I don't care how much fun you're having or how you just fell asleep without meaning to - you have to take it."

"I know mom." Callie said, tired of listening to the same thing over and over. "I will take it right after dinner, I promise."

"Okay." Lena accepted, though they both knew that she'd say it all one more time before Callie left once Gracie's mom came to pick her up. "I've already talked to Zoey's mom so she knows what you need to do. Remember to drink some water and don't eat too much sugar - one piece of cake is all you get. And if you feel your heart begin to race, call me, I'll come get you."

"I'll be fine mom. I promise." Callie said. It was kind of cute how nervous Lena was about this sleepover. She was nervous too but she was also far more excited. "I won't do anything that will make me miss even a minute of this party."

"Alright." Lena accepted as she double checked Callie's medication bag. "You have everything else you need? Underwear, pajamas, your toothbrush."

"Yes." Callie said as she jumped up at the sound of a car coming into their driveway. "Gracie's here, I'm leaving." She said quickly pecking her mother on the cheek and grabbing her overnight bag and sleeping bag

"Do not forget to take your pill." Lena called as she walked to the door to see Callie getting into the back of the car. "I love you."

"Love you." Callie called back with a wave and Lena watched as they drove off. She turned towards the empty house, the quiet was deafening for it was the very first time she would be there alone since she began to foster Callie.

* * *

Half an hour later Lena was just in the middle of making herself a grand dinner of grilled cheese and a glass of juice when she heard her phone buzz. Rushing towards it to see if it was Callie, but she found herself smiling when Stef's name popped up.

"Hey." Lena said as she answered, flipping her sandwich over in the frying pan. "Callie's already left."

"Hey, Yeah, I figured." Stef replied. "I called to see how you were doing. I know you are nervous about this sleepover."

"I'm okay." Lena sighed. "I know I'm overreacting a bit but I can't help it - I just worry about her. I think she was just happy to get away from my medication reminders thought." She admitted with a laugh.

"She's going to have fun and besides, she's smart. Wasn't it you who told me she knows whats going on with her body and doesn't want to risk things either." Stef reminded her gently. "Besides, parents are supposed to be annoying. I know mine were."

"Yes she is and mine were too. Especially when they are telling the world about how I stuff my bra."

"Stuff?" Stef teased. "I thought it was in the past, unless…"

"Go to hell." Lena said, regretting her mistake. No she didn't need to stuff anymore but her breasts were still smaller than she would have liked. But she felt her nipples grow hard at the thought that Stef was probably picturing her breasts right now as well considering the conversation and she had to bite her lip to keep from moaning.

"Okay, okay, sorry." Stef laughed. "I actually called to ask if you and Callie could make it for dinner tomorrow night. We won a really difficult case last week and I wanted to celebrate."

Lena was just about to reply when there was a loud commotion over the phone. Listening carefully she noticed a man's voice.

 _"Happy Birthday." The man said as he barged into Stef's hotel room. "Strawberry and Champagne White Chocolate Cake from Weston's Bakery made especially for one special lady."_

 _"Max, what are you doing here?" Lena heard Stef asked in surprise. "Wow, this is a surprise. Thank you."_

 _"You didn't think I'd miss your birthday did you?" Max had replied. "We've spent every single birthday together since we met and I wasn't about to let five-hundred miles change that tradition."_

 _"Isn't it your dad's retirement party tomorrow?" Stef asked as she obviously kissed Max and Lena wondered where she had kissed him. "He would definitely not appreciate you not being there._

 _"I have a flight out at midnight. I'll leave from here at ten-thirty but that still gives us three and a half hours to celebrate."_

Lena felt herself growing unsettlingly jealous as she listened and imagined all the ways they would _celebrate._ She wondered if Stef even remembered that she was on the phone.

"One second Max." Stef said and then turned her attention back to the phone as though she could sense Lena's thoughts. "Lena, sorry, are you still there."

"Yes. It's your birthday?" Lena confirmed.

"It is." Stef admitted. "I wanted to invite you to dinner tonight but when you said Callie's sleepover was tonight I decided to postpone it to tomorrow."

"We'd love to." Lena smiled, excited to see Stef again even though she was still cringing at the thought that she was with Max tonight. "And Happy Birthday. I'll let you go enjoy your birthday celebration." She said, needing to get off the phone before she made a fool of herself."

"Don't be silly." Stef denied. "In fact, you're alone. Why don't you come join us. It'll take your mind off the fact that Callie's out."

"No." Lena declined. "Max came down just to be with you."

"So what?" Stef asked. "There's enough cake for a small army and the more the merrier. "Come on. I'm in room four-sixteen. We'll order room-service and just relax.

"Okay." Lena found herself saying with a smile on her face. "I'll be there in thirty minutes.

Rushing to her room she threw open her closet and began rummaging through her clothes for something to wear. Stef had said it was casual and relaxing but she still wanted to look good. Settling on a pair of jeans and a plum colored flow-y top that looked great against her skin, she headed out the door towards Stef's hotel.


	23. Chapter 23

Callie sat on a chair with a glass of apple juice and watched as some of her classmates danced around the room. There were eighteen kids in all and about half of them were enjoying the music while the rest were talking or picking at the snacks or just sitting back and watching. She knew that Zoey had a bunch of games and activities planned but until everyone arrived and settled in, it was just casual.

"I'm so psyched you came." Zoey said sitting down next to Callie. "My mom said that your mom may not allow it because of your heart."

"No. I can do things, I just have to be careful." Callie said, glad that Zoey seemed to genuinely like her. "If my heart gets too overworked then I need surgery and at some point surgery won't be enough and I'll need a transplant."

"Wow." Zoey said. "That's pretty serious."

Callie nodded - it was serious. She often wondered why she couldn't just get a new heart and be done with it but until the one she had completely gave up the ghost she wouldn't receive a heart because she wouldn't make it to the top of the list. She just had to make do with the one she had for once that gave way then there was no guarantee she'd even get a new heart in time.

"Well, you're here so have fun." Zoey said, unaware of what to say next. "As soon as my mom is done in the kitchen and she goes upstairs we're gonna play truth or dare."

Callie smiled at the wickedness in Zoey's eye as she watched the girl walk off to talk to another guest. Zoey really was a nice girl and so were most of the other kids in her class. Sure they teased each other and sometimes fought but basically they were all pretty tolerant of each others shortfalls and faults. Callie wasn't the only one with some issue - A boy Matt had pretty thick glasses that made him look like an owl and another girl named Amber had asthma and needed an inhaler on a weekly basis. But while the kids did occasionally make fun of them for something or the other they were never made to feel like outsiders or unwelcome and for that Callie had always been grateful.

"Okay, so I'm going to spin the bottle and whoever it points to gets to pick if they want a truth or dare." Zoey said fifteen minutes later when everyone besides the kids had left. "Once they answer the question or complete the dare then they get to spin it." Zoey began spinning the bottle and after it spun around a few times it landed on Callie.

The group cheered as Callie looked a little nervous and shy. "Okay Callie, truth or dare." Zoey said with a grin.

"Truth." Callie said, not quite brave enough to pick dare.

"Okay, and remember you _have_ to tell the truth." Zoey reminded firmly. "Okay Callie, has Ms. Adams ever given you a test early, or answers to a test or changed your grade."

"NO." Callie said as she laughed at the thought. "She would never do that."

"You can't lie." Zoey reminded one more time.

"I know and she hasn't." Callie assured. "And she'd probably kill me if I even suggested it."

"Fine." Zoey said disappointed. "I kinda already knew that answer anyways, I just always wanted to know for sure. Have you ever cheated on a test?" She added.

"No." Callie replied honestly. "Okay, my turn." She said, wanting the attention off herself.

Callie spun the bottle and it landed on a boy named Aiden. "Truth or Dare." Callie asked.

"Dare." Aiden said confidently as all his friends cheered.

"Okay." Callie paused for a moment to think as she looked around the room for inspiration. "Drink a glass of coke in one shot." She said.

"Come on Callie, you can do better than that." Amelia said and was soon followed by a bunch of the other kids. "That's such a baby dare."

"Okay, okay." Callie said as she tried to think of something better. She obviously wasn't good at this the pressure wasn't helping. "Lick the bottom of your shoe." She said, noticing that his sneakers were particularly old and dirty.

"A little better." Amelia said, though it was obvious still not up to their standards.

The game went on and as it progressed the truths and dares became more personal and embarrassing. One girl had to stick her hand down her pants and touch herself in front of everyone. Another had to take her underwear off under her skirt. A boy had to stick ice-cubes down his pants and another had to squeeze the birthday girl's butt-cheeks. And the truths weren't much better for they were made to name their crushes, state what they were willing to do with the hottest teachers in school and describe their idea of a perfect first time in detail.

Thought this Callie began to realize that she wasn't quite like all the other kids. Their whole lives had been about friends and fun. They apparently hung out on a daily basis in groups of two or more - they swapped clothes and other stuff and had a history with each other for most of them had been friends since kindergarten. Suddenly Callie began to feel even more left out than she did before.

* * *

"Okay so the next game is called 'Who's it gonna be." Zoey started once everyone had had a turn in Truth or Dare and began to lose interest. "I have a list of questions I'm going to ask one by one and each of you have a bunch of post-its. When I read out a question we each write down the name of the person we believe answers the question the best. We all put them into this glass and then read out the answers to see who gets the most votes for each question. Okay, so the first question… Who do you think will be the first boy and girl in our class to lose their virginity?" Zoey read out and immediately kids began to write down the names.

Zoey collected all the slips in the glass and shook it before she began picking each one and reading them out loud. "I guess Michelle and Toby win." She said once all the slips had been totaled.

Callie glanced at Toby, the boy she'd had a secret crush on for the last couple of weeks. He was confidant and popular and she was sure that it would be him. Another thing she was sure of that it wouldn't be with her no matter how bad she wanted it.

"Okay. Next question. Who is most likely to flunk out of school?" Zoey read and once again the writing began.

"Amelia." Zoey laughed at the unanimous vote. It was no secret that Amelia hated the work part of school and often came to class with her homework unfinished.

Once again the game went on - Tanya and Wyatt were voted most likely to end up with teen pregnancies, Kaylie was voted for being suspended for inappropriate clothing. Zoey and Toby were voted bad influences. Matt and Gracie tied in most likely to have the first elective surgery. The list went on and on and each question involved some sort of negative behavior that their classmates were most likely to be involved in.

Once again the game became a bit boring after a while and Zoey brought it to an end. "So everyone has their labels?" She said smiling.

"I didn't get voted anything." Callie said, wondering why she didn't fit into any category.

"That's because you're a _good girl._ " Toby teased her with a laugh. "If there was a question with girl least likely to get in trouble, it would be you."

"Good girl _not_ gone bad." Matt teased. "Can't really blame her thought, with her mom in school and a teacher at home. Can't get away with much."

The rest of the group agreed and gently teased Callie about how she never forgot her homework or failed a test or how the teachers never had to tell her that her shorts were too short or a top was too low cut. She never got into trouble for talking too much or not paying attention and she was always called upon to help other kids or even the teacher when required.

While her friends were only teasing her and didn't mean any harm, Callie began to feel upset. She realized that she just didn't belong. Her time in the system had made her the kind of kid that always obeyed and did what she was told to avoid conflict of any kind and that made her different. She already felt different because she was always treated differently - made to sit out of PE and constantly asked if she was feeling okay by all the teachers at school. Even Zoey's mom had told her that they got her a special sugar-free cupcake so that she didn't have to miss out while the rest of the kids were eating the cake. As nice and considerate as that was, it was still one more thing that made her different.

And Callie was sick of it. She wanted to fit it and she was determined to do whatever that took. She was no longer going to be the good girl - she'd show them all that she was just as normal as the rest of them.


	24. Chapter 24

Lena sat and listened intently as Max animatedly described Stef's first time in a courtroom since the inception of their company.

"Stef stood up in the middle of court and demanded that the judge look at the evidence one more time since he, and I quote; 'was obviously being unfairly judgmental based on the defendants appearance.'"

"The man showed up in court in cargo shorts and a faded Bob Marley t-shirt." Stef added with a laugh.

"I don't think he even knew who Bob Marley was." Max added as he laughed as well. "Anyway," He continued. "She called out that judge and he threatened to hold her in contempt."

"So what did she do?" Lena asked curiously. This was a side of Stef she had never gotten to see - the bold, fearless, powerful side that obviously made her a great lawyer. All she had seen was the nervous, aching side that was trying desperately to form a bond with a child she regrettably gave up at such a young age.

"She told him to throw her in jail overnight - it would just give her even more time to convince him he's wrong." Max replied.

Stef looked a little sheepish as she glanced at Lena who was laughing. "At the time I wasn't thinking about how it wasn't actually going to be the judge who sat outside my cell all night." She admitted.

"But did he give them a chance?" Lena inquired. "Did you win the case?" In a way it was like watching a movie and sitting at the edge of your seat, bitting your fingernails, waiting to see what happened next.

"We did." Stef answered. "The judge agreed to a days extension to go over the evidence one more time. "Mr. Carson had four children to feed and he was just a laborer, he couldn't afford a fancy suit."

"He couldn't even afford us." Max interjected. "Stef took the case pro-bono. Can you believe it? Our very first client and he wasn't even paying us anything."

"He was not our very first client." Stef corrected. "He was just the first one that reached trial. Our other clients had tougher cases and trial dates were set much later."

"Either way, Stef really showed everyone that Foster and Scott meant business and though we were new and small, we weren't afraid of a fight. She put us on the map and just look where we are now."

"It wasn't all me." Stef denied. "We've both put in a lot of effort and neither of us could have reached where we are without each other. We make a great team." She offered sincerely.

As Lena watched and listened she couldn't help but feel the bubble of jealousy inside her grow even bigger. It was obvious that Max was in love with Stef. The way he talked about her and the little things he did for her - constantly passing her dishes before she even really had a chance to ask for them, serving her like he knew exactly what she wanted and how much, talking about her like she had hung the moon and sharing details that only long-standing couples would know about each other.

As dinner progressed she learned a lot about Stef that she'd never even considered before - she'd learned to play the piano and the violin, took dance lessons right through high school, was valedictorian at Yale and won a country-wide debate on the Death Penalty. She also apparently loved country music, sappy love stories, Christmas and puppies. And as much as Lena was enjoying learning so much about Stef, she kept feeling annoyed that it was Max that was giving her the information.

Stef, for her part, was basically trying to keep a low profile for unlike in the courtroom the woman _hated_ being the center of attention. She had tried to change the topics from herself to the company, life in San Diego, Lena and Callie, and at one point she'd even segued to euthanasia but each time Max had flawlessly brought the topic back to her.

He told stories of how they'd met and how he knew instantly that she was the one to partner up with for their semester-long project on Injustice in the American Judicial System. He talked of their late night study sessions and how he'd spent several of them on her couch because it was just too late to drive back to his apartment. He told her how she'd run the New York half marathon for the autistic son of one of their professors and then refused to get out of bed for a week, forcing the professor to excuse her absence. He spoke of dinners and dances, parties and passeggiatas and endless visits to the local Starbucks that ended up in them just going behind the counter to pick whatever they wanted without having to be waited on.

For a brief moment the topic did steer towards a new client that just approached the company and how they were planning on handling the case and what strategy they felt would work best but it only lasted a few minutes before they both decided that shop-talk could wait until they weren't celebrating a birthday and didn't have company. Once again they began to talk about how easily people find themselves in sticky situations that require the need for lawyers and from there it went back to Stef, not that Lena was complaining for she was relishing the information she was getting. She felt like a teenager being partnered up with her crush in class and every single detail, no matter how small, was being permanently engrained into her brain.

But all this information wasn't just about Stef and Lena's feelings for her. The more she learned about the woman the more she realized that she and Callie were a lot alike. They were both very passionate about what they believed in and practically nothing could stop them once they set their minds to something. They both knew at a rather young age what they wanted to do with their lives and neither was afraid of a little hard work. The only major difference between Callie and Stef that Lena could see so far was the fact that Callie could hold a grudge for far longer than Stef could. Lena imagined that while Stef was obviously still in touch with her family and even had kind words to say about them from time to time, she still blamed her father for forcing her to give Callie up for adoption and that was bound to have caused an irreparable rift between the two.

But the topics remained light and fairly impersonal. While Lena hated Max for more than one reason, she did have to admit that he was a jovial, friendly person that knew how to keep people entertained. There wasn't a single moment that Lena felt bored or out of place even though she didn't know Max at all and couldn't really say she knew Stef too well either. From the moment she'd entered the room she had been included in conversation and both Max and Stef had made sure her glass was filled and that she had gotten enough to eat and was enjoying her meal.

It seemed that in a flash their three hours were up and it was time for Max to head to the airport. Stef had just refilled their glasses of champagne when Max had noticed the time and asked the front desk to call for a cab. After about five minutes and several hugs and kisses for Stef, Max was gone and Stef and Lena were left alone.


	25. Chapter 25

Stef and Lena sat for a few minutes sipping their champagne and eating another small piece of the delicious cake that no one could really stop eating. Lena thanked Stef for a great dinner and a fun evening that definitely outweighed sitting home alone worrying about Callie.

"Lena…" Stef began nervously as it appeared that Lena was getting ready to leave. She needed to ask her something she'd been desperate to ask for months now but never worked up the courage.

"What?" Lena asked, wondering what was making Stef so nervous.

"Why are you being so supportive?" Stef blurted out. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful that you're not against my getting to know Callie but I've just been so curious - why?"

Lena smiled slightly as she observed Stef - the woman was biting her lower lip like she always did when she was nervous and she was gripping her champagne glass just a little too tightly, an obvious sign that she was trying to keep her hand steady.

"Several reasons." Lena replied. "I understand that you were just a child yourself and you did what you thought was best. Almost every single fifteen year old I know, or even eighteen year olds for that matter, that are just not ready and would not make good parents right now. I get that it must have been very hard for you back then and all the years since. I couldn't imagine giving away a child but if I can't give that child what she needs then she deserves a chance at a better life and for that I now admire you. Back when I thought that you gave her up because of hear heart - I hated you and wanted to punch you in the face and when Max barged into that courtroom I wanted to punch him too, but the more I learned the more I realized that it wasn't as black and white as it seemed and everyone makes mistakes that end up hurting the ones we love no matter how good our intentions. Forgiveness is the only way forward for both you and Callie. She has a lot of anger bottled up inside her that she needs to let go of as well. I'm hoping that finally coming to terms with her history will help her with that."

Stef listened as Lena spoke but she felt torn for she blamed herself for what happened to Callie. Callie was her baby and her responsibility to protect and she maybe should have done more for her, fought to keep her and demanded that her parents or Ted or his parents help her with the baby. Maybe she should have asked more questions about the baby, waited around while she had the routine tests done on her or asked about the adoptive parents some more. Asked if they were in it for the long run god forbid the child became ill or didn't turn into the person they wanted her to be. What if they wanted a little girl that liked dolls and tea parties but got one that climbed trees and played with the boys instead. What if they wanted a ballerina or a pianist but she wanted to be an engineer or a writer. There were so many 'what ifs' and they were driving Stef crazy for even now, twelve years later, there was no way to say that something else would have made it all better.

"I'm going to say the same thing to you that I said to Callie not very long ago." Lena said, taking on a more maternal role suddenly. "You can't change the past and most mistakes can't be undone. But everyone makes mistakes. If you start judging people base on their mistakes there'll be no one left to love. You have to see what they do with those mistakes - that's what defines a person. There are a lot of alternate scenarios that could have happened if you'd kept Callie or if she didn't have a life-threatening heart condition or if she got adopted at a much younger age but the truth is that we just don't know how any of them would have turned out so instead let's just focus our energy on what we can do and see how we can make things better for everyone.

"I can see why you make such a wonderful teacher." Stef said, close to tears. These were words she'd needed to hear since she was just a teenager but no one, including her parents had ever uttered them. They gave Stef a sense of peace and comfort in knowing that she'd done what she believed was the best that she could for her baby and that was the most that anyone could do. It was a classic case of _the thought that counts_ and for the first time Stef was learning just how true those words really were. "Thank you." She finished, for no other words truly describe what she felt.

"I do have ulterior motives though." Lena admitted. "Callie needs people who know and love her. Besides me and my parents there's no one else and life is so unpredictable."

"You have no siblings?" Stef questioned, curious now about Lena's family."

"No." Lena said. "My parents weren't very well off. Growing up we had even less than they have now so they just had me and gave me everything they had to give. But they're old now and my dad's not been too well lately. They aren't going to live for too many more years and then Callie will have just me and one car accident or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time could be the end of me so what happens to Callie then? I don't want her thrown back into that system that practically tortured her the last time. I know we haven't officially talked about any of this but from what I've seen of you I'm certain that you would make sure that Callie was taken care of and got whatever she needed."

"Absolutely." Stef said immediately. "I wouldn't let anyone hurt one hair on her head." She promised.

"I appreciate that." Lena smiled sadly for just the thought of dying and never seeing Callie grow up was hurting her. "I know you will be whatever she needs you to be. Her medical expenses alone are sometimes astronomical so it's a relief to know that you can afford that." Lena added but then immediately regretted her words. "Not that it's the only reason but…"

"I understand." Stef assured her. "I know what you mean and of course I would do whatever she needed no matter what the cost. In fact, that applies now as well. If there's ever anything Callie needs I am more than happy to fund it for her. No strings, no conditions. All you have to do is ask. It's not meant to be insulting or imply that you can't give her what she needs, it's just an open offer."

"Thank you." Lena smiled sincerely. "I appreciate that and I'll keep it in mind."

The conversation that quickly taken a rather morbid and awkward turn for neither particularly wanted to discuss death or money so once again a silence filled the room until Stef thought of something to change the topic.

"I'm guessing there's no significant other in your life then." Stef enquired, hoping that it wasn't too personal and that she didn't sound rude.

"No." Lena answered easily. "I never found the right person I guess. I almost got married once, eons ago, but it turned out that she wanted to give herself to her career, following celebrities all over the world as their Personal Relations Manager while I wanted to settle down and start a family."

Stef heard the words that Lena was saying but none of them actually registered after the word _she._ "She?" She uttered so softly, almost like it was a bad word.

"Yes." Lena said confidently. She had been an outed lesbian for over a decade now and she wasn't about to apologize for it. "I'm gay. Not that that changes who I am inside…" She explained, determined not to let Stef make her feel anything less.

"No." Stef quickly retracted. "I totally agree. Who you love shouldn't be an issue for me or anyone else." She paused for a moment, obviously trying to decided if she wanted to say her next thoughts out loud. "I had sex with a boy when I was just fifteen years old and I didn't like it. It was my first time and it was messy and awkward and yes, he was the hottest guy in school so my mind was forced to believe it was the best thing ever but the truth is that I hated it. I dated a few other guys in college and since but sex with them never really meant anything to me - in fact it put me off them completely. I think because my first experiences resulted in a pregnancy that caused more heartache than I ever imagined, I just lost interest in sex altogether." She admitted for the very first time in her life. These were feelings she'd had for years but never shared with anyone.

Lena listened patiently as Stef let go of secrets she'd been holding deep inside for far too long. They didn't know each other well but they were tied together very firmly by Callie and in a way that made them family. If Stef needed someone to bare her soul to then Lena was honored that she'd picked her.

"Finding a love that truly means something and lasts thought all kinds of weather is a gift and if you ever find that then you should hold on to it - gender, age, race, social status - they shouldn't matter. We're all the same on the inside."

"I can see why you make such a good lawyer." Lena smiled gently as she repeated Stef's phrase back to her. "You sure know how to make the world see what you want them to see.

"It's just the truth." Stef shrugged with a smile, knowing what Lena had done. "We all bleed the same red blood don't we?"

"Yes we do." Lena agreed wholeheartedly. "If only more people believed the way that you do."

A glance at the clock told them that they'd been chatting for well over three hours now.

GOSH!" Lena exclaimed as she sat up, causing Stef to sit upright as well. "It's almost two. I can't believe we've been talking for so long. I should get home."

"It was nice talking with you." Stef stated but frowned as she watched Lena slip her shoes back on. "It's really late. Why don't you spend the night here and leave in the morning."

Lena looked a little surprised at the offer and she didn't know what to say for she hadn't expected it at all.

"You can have the bed." Stef offered, wondering if Lena felt uncomfortable. "The couch pulls out and it's quite comfortable."

"No, that's not necessary." Lena refused. "I can take the couch." She added, letting Stef know that she was going to take her up on the offer of staying. She didn't particularly like driving alone this late at night and her home wasn't exactly in the middle of the busy nightlife.

"I insist." Stef said. She couldn't imagine a woman like Lena slumming it on a couch, despite how fancy and comfortable the couch actually was.

"How about we just stay up a while longer and continue talking?" Lena suggested instead as she kicked of her pumps one more time and leaned back into the couch cushions. She was enjoying getting to know all the different aspects of Stef's life and talking with her had been easy and fun.

"I'd like that." Stef smiled back as she too one again made herself comfortable on the couch.

They continued to talk, sharing stories of their lives, their dreams and their families as the hours slipped away and the sun soon filled the room with brightness.


	26. Chapter 26

Callie came home from the party on Saturday morning at around ten but much to Lena's surprise she wasn't raving about it as she'd expected. In fact she barely wanted to talk about it at all and Lena was sure that something had happened. Each time that Lena questioned her about what they'd done she'd just answer evasively - we played games, there were sandwiches and chips and mini pizzas and the special sugar-free cupcake that was just for her. Zoey loved her present and Callie slept well. Lena was confused for she didn't seem bitter or angry about the party or at anyone in particular. It was almost as though it wasn't as exciting as Callie had imagined it would be.

Trying to cheer her daughter up a bit she decided on another fun night - takeout for dinner in front of a movie. They didn't have a large DVD collection, maybe about twelve to fifteen movies in all but they did have Mrs. Doubtfire and that always seemed to cheer Callie up so while Lena sent Callie to place the order for the pizza of her choice she started the DVD. Lena imagined the two of them sitting on the couch under one blanket, the box of pizza open on their laps, relaxing and enjoying the comedy that never failed to cheer even the grumpiest person up.

But that's not what Lena got for the moment Callie entered the room after placing the order and groaned at the TV. "Mrs. Doubtfire?" She asked miserably.

"You love Mrs. Doubtfire." Lena said in surprise. "We always watch it whenever one of us is sad about something?"

"Who said I'm sad about anything?" Callie asked defiantly. "Besides, Mrs. Doubtfire is for kids. I'm not ten anymore so get used to it."

Lena was taken aback for Callie had never behaved like this before - yes, she'd been defiant and irritable and she'd argued with Lena and complained when she didn't get her way with something but never had she been like this - angry about something so trivial and without any sort of cause to boot.

"Callie, honey, what's going on?" Lena asked gently. She wasn't angry or hurt, all she really was was confused and she hoped that if she stayed calm then maybe she could get Callie to talk to her and tell her what the problem really was.

"Nothing." Callie stated in annoyance. "Just because I'm not interested in watching some dumb movie doesn't mean that something's wrong. God, I'm so sick of you treating me like I'm a baby. Just leave me alone okay."

With that Callie stormed of into her room and slammed the door. Lena sat in shock for a few minutes trying to figure out what exactly had happened. She decided to give Callie some time to calm down before trying to talk to her again but in the mean time she was going to give Zoey's mom a call and see if she could tell her what had happened at the party.

But Lena was once again disappointed when Zoey's mother stated the very same thing that Callie had - nothing happened, the kids were all having fun as far as she knew and Callie seemed fine. She ate well and played all the games. All the girls were giggling halfway through the night and she'd even checked in with Callie to make sure that she'd taken both her night and morning medication. She did however, promise to talk to Zoey too and see if she could give her any more information.

Disheartened, Lena sat down to the movie by herself but it just didn't have the same effect as when there was a girl beside her practically snorting with laugher.

* * *

"Aah! This is impossible." Callie groaned in frustration as she tossed yet another t-shirt onto the floor. She had been trying, unsuccessfully, for several minutes to pick an outfit to wear while she and Lena headed to the store to pick up some groceries. Normally Callie would just throw on the first comfortable outfit she could get her hands on and that usually included a loose-fitting t-shirt and old, faded jeans but this was the _new_ Callie, the _improved_ Callie and so she needed something that was more like what all her friends wore - sleeveless tops with frills and lace, skinny jeans or maybe even a skirt, wedges or flip-flops instead of the Vans she'd worn almost everyday for a year, maybe even some jewelry and a touch of makeup. But Callie had none of those things for up until now she'd never cared about them. The few tops she'd received as birthday presents had been stashed away for two out of the three of them had wide necklines that showed her scar and the third one was just too big. The jelly bangles were about the only _cool_ thing she owned and that definitely wasn't enough to actually make a difference.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Lena entered the room as she heard Callie complain. She glanced around the room and noticed the discarded clothes. "Honey, what are you doing?" She questioned as she began to pick up some of the clothes and place them on the bed.

"Nothing." Callie said as she began to pick them up as well. "I just have nothing to wear." She concluded.

"To the store?" Lena asked, somewhat confused. What was the problem with what she was wearing or was there somewhere else she was thinking about.

"Yes, the store." Callie said in annoyance. "And everywhere. All my clothes are so uncool. I dress like I'm still in the fifth grade." She complained, glancing once again at the unflattering clothing. "I need a new wardrobe." She stated matter-of-factly.

"Well, that's not happening so pick an outfit and let's go." Lena said, finally understanding what had her daughter in such a fowl mood all day.

"I can't." Callie replied, almost like Lena had asked her to go the rest of the day without breathing. "I'm almost thirteen and I need to dress more like a teenager now."

"Honey, you just turned twelve two and a half months ago." Lena reminded her. "Besides, you've never cared about fashion. You always said you preferred being comfortable."

"Yeah well, I'm not a kid anymore." Callie replied. "I need to be more like the other girls. Can't we just go buy new clothes? She pleaded sweetly, hoping to get what she wanted.

"No." Lena replied swiftly and firmly. "We just don't have that kind of money Callie. Your clothes are perfectly fine. Besides, you just got new things last week remember."

"My clothes are what old people wear and I only got three new tops that everyone has already seen. I need new things that no one else has. You have tons of money saved up, I know you do. It's not like I ask you for much. Can't you just do this one thing for me?"

But Lena knew that she couldn't for the money that she was saving was for emergencies. The state didn't pay much for Callie's fostering and once the adoption went though they would no longer pay a cent. That money was basically kept aside in case Callie needed it for a surgery or some medication or god-forbid they had to travel somewhere to meet a more qualified doctor. There was no way Lena was going to throw even a fraction of that money away on clothes. And it wasn't like Callie was going to be satisfied with a couple of new things - clearly she wanted a whole new wardrobe for she wasn't even happy with new clothes she'd worn only once and after that it would be jewelry and makeup and then a whole plethora of other things. If Callie was going though a change to adulthood then she was going to have to do it slowly for there were much more important things than her oversized sweaters.

"I'm sorry, but no." Lena replied. She didn't explain further for she didn't want to burden Callie with the information that the money was saved possibly to save her life. It was true that Callie seldom asked for much but her medical bills and doctor's visits took a huge chunk out of Lena's savings as it is and while it wasn't Callie's fault and she didn't ask for any of it, it was still money that they were spending hand over fist. "Your clothes are fine and they will last quite a while longer."

"God I hate you." Callie said bitterly as she once again knocked the pile of clothes off her bed and onto the floor. "I hardly ever ask you for anything. You always treat me like a baby, you even say it - _you're my little baby and I didn't get enough time with you. I wish you weren't growing up so fast_. You say that my being a foster kid or adopted or anything makes us no different from other families but you always treat me differently. Their parents buy them things and let them grow up and be cool but you treat me like I'm some orphan kid who can only get the bear necessities and nothing more." Suddenly a through struck her and she knew it would be just what she wanted to get back at Lena. "I best Stef would take me shopping for whatever I wanted." Callie remarked snidely. "In fact, I think I will ask her instead."

There was no doubt that Lena was hurt but she didn't show it. Instead she stood up and looked at her daughter with authority. "You have ten minutes to clean this mess up, get dressed and be in the car ready to leave. I will not tell you again. If you don't have these three things done by the time I start the car then you can say goodbye to your cellphone for a week."

"I don't want to go to the store." Callie replied defiantly. "I'm old enough to just stay here."

"Fine." Lena replied, needing a bit of time to herself to calm down as well. "You stay here but clean this mess up now."

With that she was gone and Callie flopped down onto her bed and imagined how cool it would be to walk into school on Monday morning, suddenly the coolest kid there. But sadly, thanks to Lena, that wouldn't happen and she'd once again be the _good little girl_ that Callie knew was just code for _Dork."_

Meanwhile as Lena was driving to the store she was rehearsing what she was going to say to Stef for if Callie was being serious and would actually hit up Stef for money to go shopping then she needed to prepare Stef and make sure that Stef knew her boundaries. She couldn't have Callie jumping from one to the other each time she didn't get what she wanted and it wasn't fair to Stef who was trying desperately to get into Callie's good books.


	27. Chapter 27

By the time that Lena had reached the store she was close to tears. She'd never cried over Callie before - not the first time her adoption had fallen through because Lena hadn't done the medical courses required to adopt a special needs child, not he second time when Callie had emergency surgery or the third time when Stef had shown up. She hadn't cried the countless times that the adoption date had been postponed for no apparent reason what-so-ever. She hadn't cried when Callie was hospitalized after struggling to breath for over five minutes, she hadn't cried the first time she'd let go of her hand so that she could be wheeled into surgery, she hadn't cried when Callie had wished she'd just die because she was in so much pain. She'd never cried before because she always believed that it would get better - eventually a date would be set and she would get adopted, doctors would keep researching and would one day find a cure for her heart but until then they were managing with medication and surgery and while it was not ideal - she was responding far better ever since she found a stable home with Lena.

No, Lena had never cried with regards to Callie but today she desperately wanted to because today she was hurt. Never once had Callie said that she hated her. Never once had she wished that Lena wasn't her mother and never once had she picked someone else over her and the fact that it was Stef made it even worse. Lena had been the one to push Callie towards Stef and now Callie was asking for her willingly and as much as she hated to admit it - Lena was jealous. She knew it was silly and that she really had no reason to be. Callie was just angry and just like every other kid, she said something she didn't mean, but the part that really struck Lena was the realization that they _were_ different from every other family no matter what she said - they weren't biological mother and daughter - she had to earn her daughter's love.

Dreading going into the store and breaking down in front of strangers Lena decided to make the call to Stef first. She needed to make sure they were on the same page for apart from her feeling jealous of the fact that Callie chose to try Stef just because she said 'no' to something, she also didn't want Stef to feel obligated into giving in.

"Hey Lena." Stef said and Lena instantly found herself smiling at the voice.

"Hey Stef." Lena said, nervous about how Stef would react to her request. It just occurred to her that maybe Stef would relish this opportunity to do something for Callie that she actually, desperately wanted. What if Stef disagreed with her and took Callie shopping anyways?

"Lena?" Stef questioned when Lena was completely lost in thought and took too long to continue. She was sure that Lena hadn't just called to say 'Hi'.

"Sorry." Lena grimaced, wondering why she always felt like such a fool around this woman. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something. Callie's sort of going through a phase. Common teenage stuff - she no longer likes her clothes and wants to dress more mature, jewelry, make-up, the works. Anyway, today she asked me for a new wardrobe…" She heard Stef chuckle on the other end of the line. "…Yes, apparently _nothing_ she owns is appropriate anymore." She said as dramatically as Callie had made it sound. "So when I said that I wasn't going to buy her an entire new wardrobe she decided to ask you instead." This is where Lena paused, unsure of how to go on. Would Stef agree with her? Would she disagree? Would she be offended either way. Lena absolutely hated having this conversation and suddenly she wished that she never even made the call in the first place.

"You want me to buy her a new wardrobe?" Stef asked in slight confusion when once again Lena was quiet for too long.

"No." Lena quickly replied. "That's actually what I _don't_ want you to do." She said. "Apart from just going to you because I said 'no', I don't think she needs to waste _anyone's_ money like that and I was hoping that if she does ask you then you would agree with me on this."

"I do." Stef replied, surprising Lena.

"You do?" Lena confirmed, though she couldn't hide the surprise in her voice.

"I do." Stef assured with a laugh. "Why wouldn't I? You're her mother, if you say no then it's no."

"Okay, great." Lena said, feeling more relieved than ever. This hadn't turned out so bad and finally Lena was glad that she'd made the call for if she hadn't then she'd be thinking about this forever. "I just thought maybe you'd want to take her shopping again."

"Well, I would." Stef admitted. "But not to just throw away money like that."

"Wow." Lena said. "I didn't expect that from you." She admitted.

"Why not?" Stef asked, still amused. "What were you expecting?"

"I guess I thought you'd jump at a chance to get on Callie's good side and since money comes easily to you…" She trailed off, finding it too rude to even continue.

"You thought I'd spent, hand over fist." Stef finished for her. "That's not me. My parents may have been a lot of things but one thing they weren't were wasters. They taught me to earn and respect every penny. Nothing came for free."

Lena smiled, thinking that that was just the type of wisdom she hoped to pass on to Callie too. When she'd first learned of Stef she'd imagined a spoiled, entitled brat but the more she got to know the woman the more she realized that she was wrong. Stef had values, she had respect and above all she had a good heart. Yes, she'd been raised with money and in a world where image and opinions mattered but that didn't make her a bad person. It seemed that even her parents weren't as bad as everyone had made them out to be. They just had an idea of what was important and did what they thought was best, just like Stef had when she gave her baby up for adoption.

"And as for jumping at the chance to get on Callie's good side." Stef continued, once again interrupting Lena's thoughts. "Yes, I want her to like me and I'm glad that she thought of me even if it was just to spite you but Lena, I hope you know that I would never do anything that wasn't good for her. You are her mother and I respect that and I follow your rules but apart from that I will still do what's in her best interest."

"I'm sorry Stef." Lena apologized. "I didn't mean to offend you or imply that you would do something like that. I just didn't want her to think that she could keep pulling you close and pushing you away depending on her mood and what she got out of it. I guess this argument affected me more than I realized." She admitted.

"Why? What happened?" Stef inquired. She was curious and concerned for Lena truly sounded defeated right now.

"Just typical teenage stuff." Lena replied, making it sound unimportant. "She thinks I'm out to ruin her life because I won't let her grow up. She said she hated me and that I treat her like she's some orphan kid because she's adopted."

"I'm sorry Lena." Stef apologized. It was no fault of hers but she still felt bad for the hurt Lena was obviously feeling. "It's like you said, teenage drama. She didn't mean it and she knows it. You could even argue that she said it because she feels safe enough to lash out."

"True." Lena said though her tone made it obvious that she didn't agree completely. She still sounded distant, like she was thinking of something that didn't quite fit.

"You can talk to me Lena." Stef said softly. "If you need to let go of something I'm here for you." She paused a moment before continuing. "You don't have to say anything right now or at all but if you do want to talk, I'm happy to listen." She let it go then, leaving the decision up to Lena. She wanted the woman to talk to her for she hated seeing her upset but she wasn't going to push.

"Thank you." Lena said sincerely. "I appreciate that. I guess the truth is that I do treat her differently." She admitted. "She's not my daughter, not biologically and not even all her life and so I constantly feel like I have to earn the right to be her mother. Like if I make even one mistake then I wasn't good enough for her. I want to give her whatever she wants because I love to see her happy but I know that I can't. Not only can I not afford it but what kind of person will she grow up to be if I did?"

"Can I say something?" Stef asked, not wanting to put her two cents in if Lena didn't want them.

"Yeah." Lena smiled, touched that Stef was even asking permission.

"You're not the only one who feels that way." Stef said. "I had a child, a biological child, and I didn't even keep her for one whole day before I handed her to someone else but believe me I felt the same thing. I was so scared that I was making the wrong decision; I felt so guilty not being able to keep her and even now I feel that I don't have a right to love her. The fact that she is still so angry with me for everything that happened to her makes me feel like I don't have the right to want her to forgive me, like me. Every time she pushes me away I feel like I deserve it and it's like you said, I'd love to take her shopping and buy her a country if that's what will make her happy but that's not the kind of person I want my daughter to grow up to be. We do what's best for our kids and sometimes it's hard and sometimes it's wrong, but it's the best we can do so don't be so hard on yourself. You're a great mom and I am grateful every single day that Callie found someone like you."

Once again Lena remained silent but this time it wasn't because she was lost in thought again. This time it was because she was crying. She never imagined that the woman who had got knocked up as a teenager and given her baby away at birth would still understand what it meant to be a mother. It just proved that you didn't have give birth to be a mother but you didn't have to keep your baby to be one either. What made you a good mother lay in the choices you make and the person you hope your children grow up to be.

As the two stayed silent on the phone Stef could hear the soft sniffles as Lena cried and more than anything she wanted to hug the younger woman. She knew that Lena was doing the best for the child that they both loved and Stef realized then that she'd do just about anything for Lena as well.


	28. Chapter 28

School on Monday morning was not much fun for Callie either. Of course everyone was talking about the party and she felt very proud to be one of the few who could talk about the sleepover part too but still she continued to feel like an outsider. Everyone thanked Zoey multiple times for the great time that they had; they teased Tanya for being the first to fall asleep and Gracie for bringing her stuffed bunny which she had kept hidden in her backpack but unfortunately for her Amelia needed to borrow Michelle's t-shirt and accidentally went rummaging through the wrong girl's bag. They complimented Michelle on her hairstyling and makeup skills and Kailey for her jumbo bags of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Double Cream Oreo Cookies that they all shared for a mid-night snack along with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and a bag of Doritos that they snuck up from Zoey's kitchen. But no one said anything to Callie other than the fact that they were glad that she could come.

It was almost like she hadn't even been there and she wished desperately that she'd made some sort of a difference that made them remember her. Even if they just teased her for snoring or because her toothbrush wasn't age appropriate or something - anything.

"And I _have_ to have a cake from that same bakery for my birthday." Lauren said as the girls continued to discuss the party during lunch. "It was awesome."

"It was delicious." Cathy agreed. "I had two pieces." She said cheekily.

The whole group agreed that the the chocolate raspberry crunch cake decorated to look like a jewelry box was delicious.

"It looked really pretty." Callie put in her two cents, wanting to be included in a conversation about a cake she didn't even get to eat. "Almost too good to actually eat." She added, hoping to feel less upset that she hadn't tried it.

But it was a mistake for the moment Callie said that the attention turned to her - only it wasn't the type of attention that she wanted. She wanted to be just like every other girl in her class - included in everything and teased for nothing important but all she ever was was the foster girl with the broken heart. People didn't say mean things to her because they felt sorry for her. They included her because it would be rude not to but even though they were nice and kind and polite - she was still different.

"How was your cupcake?" Zoey asked her. "The lady at the bakery promised it was their most popular sugar free cupcake."

"It was great. Thank you for getting it for me." Callie smiled politely, already knowing exactly where this conversation would go now. Her classmates weren't mean kids and they were basically good at including everything in everything which was rare for kids their age but they were also curious and often they didn't realize that their curiosity may not be fun for the person in question.

"What's it like, having a special diet all the time?" Michelle asked as the whole group turned towards Callie waiting for her response.

"Yeah, I mean, do you have to take your own lunch everywhere? Kaylie asked.

"No." Callie replied with a shrug. "I just can't eat too much sugar because it makes me hyper and my heart can't take that."

"Can't they do anything to fix your heart?" Zoey asked. "There are so many things they can do for other things."

"Not yet." Callie replied. "It's not like people have an extra heart they don't need like they can with a kidney or the liver."

"But people die and they donate their hearts." Zoey added.

"I don't qualify." Callie answered truthfully. "There are other people who's hearts are much worse than mine so they get first preference. As long as my heart keeps responding to surgery then I'm stuck with it."

"I can't imagine living like that." Amber said sadly. "Having asthmas bad enough but a weak heart seems like a million times scarier."

The girls continued to discuss the worst possible conditions to have while Callie couldn't help but feel miserable - even the girl who had to carry an inhaler everywhere she went felt sorry for her.

* * *

Sitting in the last class of the day, still thinking about how to change her entire image, Callie watched the second hand tick away above the teacher's head. There were just fifteen minutes left of this stupid class and they just weren't passing fast enough. She had to figure out a way to talk to Stef without Lena around for she knew that if she didn't have to watch herself then she could get Stef wrapped around her little finger in a heartbeat. A smile and hug would get her whatever she wanted for if Stef thought nothing of buying her a three hundred dollar bracelet then she wouldn't mind spending a bit more to make her happy. Quickly scribbling something down on the corner of her page she tore it off and passed it to Amelia sitting next to her.

 _I have to go somewhere but I'm telling my mom that I'm coming to your house to work on a project. Cover for me._

Amelia smiled and nodded supportively and Callie continued to form her plan as the teacher droned on about the hibernating bears.

Callie knocked and waited nervously for the door to open. This was the first time she would be going to Stef's hotel and she'd never set foot in a place this fancy. There was a doorman and an elevator attendant someone that even offered to carry her backpack for her. This was like falling asleep and waking up in a movie or something and Callie could just imagine a life where staying in a place like this was like tossing a quarter into a gumboil machine. If she had this kind of money then she could buy whatever image she wanted - she'd have the best clothes, the coolest shoes and invite her friends over for parties everyday and no one would ever think of her as the poor, sick, foster girl.

* * *

Stef had been so focused on the work in front of her that she nearly jumped when she heard a knock on her door. She hadn't ordered room service and housekeeping had already been in to clean the room for the day so she wasn't expecting anyone. Sure that someone had gotten the wrong room by mistake she opened up the door and was surprised to find Callie standing there looking nervous.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Stef asked in surprise as she glanced down the hall to see if Lena was on her way. "I didn't know you were coming."

"I didn't either." Callie answered as she bit her lip nervously. "Is it okay? I just needed to talk to you for a minute."

"Of course. Come in." Stef said as she moved aside to allow Callie to enter, lead her to the sofa and then went to get her a glass of juice and some crackers - the only thing she had to offer.

"So, what did you need to talk to me about? Is everything okay?" Stef asked as she took a seat beside the girl.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Callie replied. "I didn't realize you were busy, sorry for interrupting." She pointed towards the table that was littered with her computer, files and folders and pages and pages of legal paperwork.

"That's okay." Stef smiled reassuringly. "You're always welcome."

This was what Callie was hoping for - Stef happy to see her. She knew it wasn't the nicest thing to do but Stef _wanted_ to make her happy right? So wouldn't she be doing her a favor as well? They would spend some time together and Stef would help her shop and Callie would be one step closer to being just like everyone else. She glanced at Stef and saw the woman smiling at her, obviously happy to have her here like this and she just knew that her plan was working perfectly.

"Thanks, I actually had a favor to ask you." Callie replied. "Last time you took me shopping you were a huge help and it was fun and I was wondering if you could take me again." She explained.

Stef had to admit that the girl was good. If Lena hadn't given her a head's up then she never would have suspected that Callie was asking for something she'd already been denied. However, at the same time Stef felt torn for the very thing that Lena was afraid of had more power than Stef originally thought. She desperately wanted to say yes to Callie and buy her whatever she wanted - it wouldn't be hard and it definitely wouldn't put a dent in Stef's bank account. How she longed to be the white knight came to Callie's rescue but unfortunately for her she couldn't do that. Not only was it not her place to make a decision like that but as a responsible adult it was her job not to let Callie manipulate her way into getting something she didn't need.

"What about your mom?" Stef asked, wondering how much of this Lena knew about. Did she even know that Callie was here right now or did she send her willingly, knowing that Stef would say no.

"She's busy." Callie explained. "Besides, you saw the things she picked out for me - I need to change my image and kittens and rainbows aren't exactly what I have in mind."

"I see your point." Stef agreed. "How are you going to pay for this? How much money do you have?" She continued her line of questioning.

Callie was completely taken aback for she never in a million years expected this question. She had expected Stef to pay for everything without batting an eye. She expected Stef to _insist_ on paying just like she'd done when they went on the ferry. How was she supposed to say that what she wanted cost more than what she had.

Stef could see the conflict on Callie's face and she decided to just be honest. She was the adult and trying to draw the truth out of a kid like she was a criminal on the stand wasn't the way to go about it. "Honey, I can't take you shopping." She finally said. "Your mom already said no and asking me instead isn't right."

Suddenly Callie's face was filled with anger and hurt and once more Stef wished she could have just given in. For those few moments Callie had willingly come to her and she didn't care about the reason or the motive.

"Honey, you need to earn what you get." Stef explained the same way she would if she had raised Callie herself. "Your needs will always be met but your wants are not necessary. I know you feel like you need this to fit in, trust me, but the truth is that everyone feels that way. I'm sure all your friends are going through it as well no matter how trendy they seem. It's part of growing up. When I was your age my best friend was one of the most popular girls in school and all I did was study but eventually I realized that she also struggled to be popular. The fact that everyone knew her and always watched her meant that she couldn't afford to make mistakes…"

"Whatever." Callie interrupted when she'd had enough of the lecture. "I thought you'd want to help me." She accused.

"Maybe we can work with what you have." Stef suggested. "You can't just throw money away no matter how much you have but you can work with what you do have."

"Forget it." Callie said with a roll of her eyes. "This blows. Lena is trying to ruin my life."

For a split second Stef was angry with Callie for she was disappointed in her behavior. She'd had an attitude towards Stef right from the start but to be that unkind to Lena - the woman who'd done everything for her - wasn't fair. "I think you're being too hard on her." Stef said as she remembered Lena crying on the phone. "She's doing everything she can for you. She was there for you when you had no one." Stef realized that by saying these things she was only emphasizing the fact that she had abandoned her daughter but she owed it to Lena. "You really think she did all that just to ruin you now? Maybe listen to her for a change. She knows what's right."

"I'm not you." Callie spat in anger. "I don't just do what everyone tells me like I'm some stupid puppet. Daddy said get rid of your kid so you gave her up. Lena said don't take Callie shopping so you say no. Well I have a mind of my own and you have one too so you don't have to do everything she says. You can make your own decisions."

"She is your mother." Stef said firmly, finding it somewhat easy to discipline the girl. She thought it would be harder but the drive to do what's right for Callie was so strong.

"That didn't stop you from giving me that stupid bracelet." Callie replied snappily.

Stef didn't respond for it wasn't the same thing. That bracelet was a gift that Stef wanted to give Callie. It wasn't a manipulated demand or a jab at anyone.

"Just forget I even asked." Callie said with a shake of her head as she got up to leave. She grabbed her backpack and opened the door but she was surprised when Stef slammed it shut before she could leave.


	29. Chapter 29

"I can't believe you called Lena." Callie said disgustedly when Stef finally hung up the phone. "You couldn't just say no and let it go, you just had to squeal on me too. Why can't you just go back to whatever castle you came from?" She asked bitterly.

Stef chose not to respond for she didn't really know what to say. She knew she'd done the right thing by calling Lena and not letting Callie leave by herself. She was sure the girl was capable of getting home by herself but the fact that she'd come here without her mother's knowledge or permission made Stef make the call. This whole thing was going to be a lot harder than she thought. If she kept doing what she knew was right then Callie would never grow to like her but how could she just give in and give her everything she wanted. Apart from the fact that she knew it was wrong for Callie's sake and it gave her the wrong message, she knew that Lena would never allow it.

* * *

The next twenty minutes passed in complete silence as Stef went back to her work and Callie stared angrily out the window. Each would glance at the other every so often but neither even attempted to say a word. Callie had nothing nice to say to Stef and nothing Stef could say was good enough for Callie. She'd tried to explain why her actions were wrong or why Callie's attitude toward Lena was inappropriate but Callie wasn't even interested in listening. She'd simply stated that if Stef wasn't interested in helping her then to just stay out of her life for good. She'd already gotten back at her by telling on her so why was she still torturing them both by making her stay.

After that Stef decided to just let it go and allow Lena to handle it the way she saw fit. She returned to her work and though she didn't get too much done, she did manage to keep Callie in one place until Lena came to get her.

When Lena knocked on the door Stef got up to answer it and she could swear she heard Callie mumble "That's the end of my life." Smiling slightly at the dramatics she opened the door to see an angry Lena standing there.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Lena said angrily the moment she spotted Callie. She marched into the room as if she owned the place and headed straight towards her daughter. "Lying, sneaking off and doing something I specifically said no to? What has gotten into you? This isn't you, Ca…"

"How do you know?" Callie cut her off as she stood up, in order to feel a little more powerful. "Maybe this is exactly who I am. Maybe you don't know anything about me."

"I'm your mother Callie, I know more about you than anyone else." Lena replied frankly.

"Foster mother." Callie corrected without a hint of remorse. "I'll be in the car." She stated as she walked out of the room leaving behind Stef and Lena who were both too stumped to stop her.

Stef was the first to recover and as she glanced towards Lena she could see the pain in her eyes. The woman was trying hard to hold on to her composure but Stef could see that she was close to tears and once again she wanted to hug her and comfort her wipe away those tears.

"Lena…" Stef began as she took a step towards the younger woman but she was taken aback when Lena turned to face her, staring straight at her with daggers in her eyes, clearly blaming her for everything.

"Thanks for calling me." Lena said curtly before walked out the door as well, leaving Stef feeling even more confused and scared than ever.

* * *

That night Lena was still angry about the entire incident. Of course Callie had threatened to go to Stef and Lena had warned Stef about it but the fact that she'd actually gone to her was more upsetting than she'd thought. Not only was Callie being openly defiant and disrespectful but she was also using Stef as a means to get what she wants and as much as she hated to admit it, it made Lena jealous.

"Come to the living room and do your homework." Lena said as she stood in Callie's doorway.

"No, I'll do it in my room." Callie said, making a face at the suggestion.

"No, I want you to do it in front of me. Come to the living room now." Lena ordered, determined not to let Callie just get away with whatever she wanted.

"I'm not a baby." Callie replied. "I can do my own homework and I don't need a prison guard. I'm in my room with no phone, no computer and no _life_ so you don't need to hover over me anymore. I'm reading a god damn book for crying out loud, what more do you want? I'll do my homework when I want to and as long as I get it done why do you care?"

Lena didn't know what to say for it was true, she'd already taken Callie's electronics away for the rest of the day and Callie was reading. "Dinner is in forty minutes, bring your homework with you when you come so I can check it." She ordered before she left.

But forty-five minutes later Callie wasn't at the table despite Lena's call for her. Lena headed to Callie's room and opened the door without bothering to knock. "I called you for dinner." She said.

"I'm not hungry." Callie replied, not looking up from her book.

"You don't have a choice." Lena replied firmly.

"I'm not hungry." Callie repeated, this time giving Lena an angry look. "You can't control that no matter how much you wish you could."

"Callie, you know you have to eat something before taking your medication." Lena replied with gritted teeth. Callie was really testing her patients and Lena was practically at the end of her rope.

"Fine." Callie snapped as she thumped her book down on the table and shoved her way past Lena towards the kitchen.

Lena entered the kitchen just in time to see Callie grab an apple, a glass of water and her medication before heading back to her room and once again slamming her door behind her.

* * *

The following morning Lena was completely distracted. She gave her class a writing assignment and they were all working quietly giving Lena the time she needed to clear her head. It was now obvious that Callie wasn't just reacting to Stef's appearance. If it was only that then she would never have actually gone to her for help, she would have continued to keep her at arms length. Something else was bothering Callie and she wasn't talking about it and Lena had to find a way to get to the bottom of it. The only problem was that Callie didn't seem to want to talk about it, especially to Lena.

The bell dragged Lena out off her thoughts and she dismissed her class, instructing them to finish the assignment for homework and headed out of class through the crowd of students to the teacher's lounge where she could get the cup of coffee she so desperately needed to rid herself of her headache. But just as she rounded the last corner she was surprised to see Stef standing there talking to a second grade teacher, obviously asking if Lena was in there. Taking a deep breath to help calm the nerves that now accompanied the headache, Lena headed towards Stef, ready to face whatever was coming next.


	30. Chapter 30

"I was told that I might fine Lena Adams here." Stef said to a member of the staff at Anchor Beach. The woman began to reply but just as she began to speak Stef noticed Lena standing a few feet behind the woman, heading right towards them. The butterflies fluttering around in her stomach for the last few hours seemed to be flapping their wings double time all of a sudden. She quickly thanked the woman talking to her, ignoring the fact that was wasn't done talking and then took a few steps towards Lena - both of them staring at each other but neither really knowing what to say.

"Did you need something?" Lena finally broke the silence that seemed to form around them despite the dozens of students buzzing around.

"Can we talk for a minute? In private?" Stef asked as she bit her bottom lip, a gesture that made Lena smile inside despite how she was feeling.

Sighing with tiredness Lena turned around and led the way back to her now empty classroom. "Come on." She said, wishing that she'd first grabbed a cup of coffee for herself.

Closing the door behind them the two women faced each other and once again neither said a word. They didn't know how to start. Lena didn't know what to say exactly and Stef was a little too nervous to say what she'd come to say. She had honestly thought that she was getting closer to both Callie and Lena - the fact that Callie had voluntarily come to her, even considering her reasons, was a good sign in Stef's eyes and Lena had always been friendly and supportive. But now Callie, understandably, was angry with her but she couldn't understand why Lena was so upset. What had she done wrong and what could she do to make it right?

"I just wanted to talk to you about yesterday." Stef finally said as she walked towards one of the student desks and leaned against it. "When Callie showed up I made it clear that what she was asking me wasn't right. I did offer to help her work with what she already has but she wasn't really interested in anything at the time. I only called you because it was pretty clear that she'd come without your knowledge." She paused a moment, wondering what to say next. "I did exactly what I promised I would but I get the feeling that you're mad at me for something and if I…"

Lena quickly stopped her, shaking her head as she too leaned against her own desk. "I'm sorry." She said. "I was just angry that she actually went behind my back and I'll admit, it hurt that she came to you." She said sheepishly.

Stef smiled and gave Lena a small shrug. "It sucked to turn her down as well." Stef admitted, evening the score. "She wanted something from me that I could so easily have given her. Saying no and have her mad at me all over again was no fun."

"I never should have put you in that position in the first place." Lena admitted. "I mean, I definitely do not think she needs a whole new wardrobe but if you wanted to buy her a few things then I had no right to stop you."

At this Stef frowned slightly. She did not agree with that statement at all for while Lena had no control on how Stef spent her money she definitely did have a say in what Callie was given. Her own parents had been quite firm with money when she was growing up. Her father, working in insurance, always encouraged saving for a rainy day and Stef had learned early on that just because you had it didn't mean you could waste it. It wasn't that Stef actually wanted to buy Callie the clothes but more that she didn't want to give her yet another reason to hate her. Had Callie grown up with Stef, had Stef been the one raising her, then she too would have turned Callie down for the girl had to learn that money didn't grow on trees despite how much of it they had.

"I just think that we need to be a team for this to work." Lena continued, unaware of Stef's thoughts. "If we can agree on how to handle situations then she can't play one against the other and she seems to be pretty good at that. She knew that I wouldn't like her to ask someone else for the clothes and she knew that I especially wouldn't like it to be you so she used that to get her way. She could have hit my parents up and know for certain that she'd get at least a few things in the mail. My dad may not have too much spare change but he would do just about anything to see a smile on that girl's face."

The image made Stef smile and tear up all at once. Here was a man that loved this little girl so much despite having only seen her a handful of times in the last two years and yet her own father, Callie's biological grandfather, had never laid eyes on her even once. In all these years he'd never talked about her, tried to find her and Stef imagined that he didn't even think about her.

"My mother would have yelled at him of course." Lena continued with a slight laugh. "She would have told him not to spoil her but then she would have chastised him again for picking the wrong clothes in the first place. I'm a lot like him in that way - I want her to be a little girl a little longer so I pick the puppies and kittens. My mom is all about the latest styles and she would have made him switch out his choices for her own. She's a pretty popular seamstress in our neighborhood - makes all the fanciest dresses at a fraction of the price simply because she's not a big name label. She's been sewing since she was six years old; made all her dolls dresses and some for her friends dolls too. She tried to teach me as well but after I broke the eight needle on the first day itself she gave up. Told me to shove my nose back in my book and not go near her machine ever again."

Stef was just smiling as she listened to the picture Lena was painting. Their life seemed to be so different from the one that Stef knew and a part of her wished that she could experience it too. A family that sat down together for dinner because they enjoyed each other's company rather than because it was the _correct_ thing to do; a parent that spent time with their kids doing fun things instead of just grooming them for their future; a child that felt confidant enough to make mistakes because the world wasn't watching, waiting for them to fall. The one good thing that came out of all of this was that Callie was growing up in that kind of a family instead of one always under a microscope.

"Look at me going on about my childhood." Lena laughed at herself, wondering how she'd gotten so off track so quickly.

"No, please, I love hearing about it." Stef said. "Believe me my life was nothing like that. My parents didn't teach me anything that I didn't absolutely need to know. Hobbies at my house were one of three things - reading, gardening and baking which meant finding delicious recipes and giving them to the cook to make. Anything else was considered childish foolishness."

"Well my mother can put together a ballgown fit for a queen but couldn't keep a plant alive for more than a week if her life depended on it. Anyway, I'm still sorry that you got sucked into the middle of this. It's not right that she's using you just because she knows that you want her to like you. I'll talk to her and I'll make sure she knows that you deserve more respect than that." Lena smiled apologetically.

Stef smiled back but part of her wanted to tell Lena that Callie had to respect her as well. Lena was doing everything in her power for Callie and Callie didn't seem to see that. Sure, they were bound to fight and Callie was almost a teenager but that didn't give her the right to talk to or about Lena the way she had been these last few days. "How are you doing otherwise?" Stef asked instead, hoping that apart from this things were going smoothly for both of them.

"Okay." Lena said, her body relaxed visibly and her face looked less stressed. "She's basically doing all the things the other moms complain about as well - doesn't want to do her homework, wants to eat junk all day long and claims I'm just out to ruin her life. It's really not such a big deal but my only worry is her heart. It's easy to say 'sure go hang out with your friends' but she can't live on french-fries and milkshakes. She can't afford to clog her arteries because her heart can't take the extra burden. I have to put my foot down on these things despite how trivial they seem."

"I see what you mean." Stef said sympathetically. "But she's a good kid and she does seem to understand that her heart is a factor she needs to consider all the time. That day at the pier she was pretty clear about what she needed to do and no matter how angry she was with me she didn't try to just storm away. She knew she needed to just stay put and give her body a chance to calm down."

"Unfortunately she learned that in the system." Lena replied. "There wasn't always someone there to help her. Even those that wanted to help didn't always know how so only had herself to depend on."

Yet another reminder of Stef's biggest mistake weighed heavily on her heart. How much more could one little girl take without completely falling apart? It was no wonder that she was acting out and considering all those circumstances is it really so wrong to just give in a little and give her something so trivial as a bunch of clothes.

"Don't beat yourself up over it." Lena said when she saw that regretful look on Stef's face that she'd seen far too many times since she'd first met her. "It's made her very strong and I have no doubt that she will survive anything that life throws her way. It wasn't ideal but it's made her who she is and she's turned out pretty good, don't you think?"

"Absolutely." Stef replied, dabbing her eye that wasn't really watery but just slightly damp with emotion.

"Are we still on for this weekend?" Lena asked Stef. "Callie is still dying to see _The Fate of the Furious_.

"Definitely." Stef said immediately. She didn't want to miss a second no matter what Callie threw her way. Stef was in this for the long haul and the one thing she could give Callie was consistency.

"She also wants to see that new Smurf movie too but she refuses to come with me this time. Now she can't be seen going to a kids movie with her mother. She will only go if her friends are going as well." Lena added with a laugh. "Little blue guys were okay last year but apparently this year they are just too immature."

"I have never actually seen the Smurfs." Stef admitted. "But I'll be happy to go with you if you really want to watch it and your regular date does ditch you." She smiled.

Lena smiled back and gave Stef a small nod. It would be nice to go with Stef. "I have another ten minutes for lunch, care to join me for a salad across the street?" She asked, needed to eat something before the next class.

"I'd love that." Stef replied and the two of them made their way to the small salad bar across the street from the school.

While Stef and Lena were enjoying their lunches and the conversation Callie continued to feel like the world was against her and so she continued to think up ways to be more like everyone else. She had tried to be the good kid that everyone liked but that just made her the girl that the other kids didn't include in their pranks and mischief and so if she had to bring out her evil twin in order to get noticed then she wasn't afraid to do that either.


	31. Chapter 31

Callie was still seething for she was on a very short leash - She was grounded with no T.V., no phone and no friends for two weeks. She went to school and came back with Lena and if Lena had to stay back for anything then Callie had to sit in her office and do homework until she was done. The only bit of freedom that Callie got was during school hours where she could hang out with her friends - not that any of them really realized that anything had changed. It wasn't like she hung out with them after school on a regular basis.

"Mac and Cheese and a strawberry tart." Noelle said as she sat at the lunch table. "What about you?"

"Burrito." Kaylie replied. "It was Mexican week last week at my mom's cooking class." She explained. "Dinner last night was Quesadillas and tonight it's Mexican rice."

"Your mom is such a good cook." Noelle said as she glanced at the delicious, spicy wrap in Kaylie's lunch bag. "Wanna trade? I'll even give you my tart." She said hopefully as she waved the sweet treat in front of Kaylie's face.

"Sure." Kaylie said happily as she grabbed the tart and pushed her lunch bag towards Noelle. "I'm kinda sick of Mexican anyway."

The two girls dug in to their swapped lunches, grinning at each other as they began talking about the new Taylor Swift Album.

Callie watched enviously before glancing down at her plain vegetable sandwich and tub of yogurt. She'd been bringing the same foods to school for ages now - vegetable sandwiches, salads, grilled chicken strips and oven baked fish fingers with sides of carrot and cucumber stick, yogurt or fruit. No one ever wanted to trade lunches with her, heck, they weren't even interested in what she brought. Suddenly losing her appetite she shoved her sandwich back into her bag and headed back into the school. In her daze she accidentally bumped into another student.

"Sorry." Callie said automatically to the young fourth grader. "Hey, what you got there?" She asked, noticing the fries in the kids lunch bag.

"Cheese corn muffins, fries and a jello cup." The kid replied, slightly intimidated by the fact that a seventh grader was interested in his food.

"Now you have a veggie sandwich." Callie said, thrusting her bag at him and grabbing his in exchange and walked back to her table, leaving the younger kid both nervous and disappointed.

"Cool, jello cups." Michelle said as she watched Callie pull out the contents of her stolen bag. "I haven't had jello in ages. Gotta tell my mom to get some of those."

"I know." Kaylie agreed. "I think I was in elementary the last time I had one of those."

"Trade you a chocolate pudding for that." Tanya said and swapped when Callie eagerly nodded.

Callie smiled triumphantly as her friends were suddenly interested in her food for the first time ever. She listened as her friends commented on her lunch, completely approving the change from all the healthy crap she usually brought.

* * *

But that little bit of a win wasn't enough for Callie. She knew that she would be swapping lunches with the younger kids more often now but she still needed something more. The kids had made it clear that she had a 'good girl' vibe about her and she needed to change that up. Heading into her English class she sat down but when the teacher began collecting the homework essays that were due Callie didn't hand anything in.

"Your homework Callie?" The teacher asked once again.

"I don't have it." Callie said with a slight attitude.

"Where is it?" The teacher asked with a frown. This was nothing like the Callie she knew.

"I don't know." Callie replied with a shrug. "I think I lost it or forgot it at home or something."

"Callie, that assignment is important." The teacher reminded her, wondering if Callie hadn't completed it and was trying to cover up.

"Well I forgot it, it's not that big a deal, mistakes happen." Callie said with a snap. "It's not like my life depends on it."

The teacher looked at Callie closely for a moment. "Have it on my desk first thing tomorrow morning." She said before moving on. Callie wasn't usually one to miss her assignments or get in trouble for that matter so maybe she wasn't really feeling well or maybe she had genuinely forgotten. Whatever it was, she deserved a slip-up now and then.

* * *

"What do you mean you didn't take your homework?" Lena asked Callie on their drive home. Callie's English teacher had approached Lena towards the end of the day to ask her if Callie was feeling okay for she'd seemed a little unlike her usual self. Lena, of course had asked for details and when she'd found out that Callie hadn't handed in her homework she was angry.

"I just forgot it okay." Callie replied in annoyance. "God, what's the big deal? It's not like it happens every day or something."

Lena glanced at Callie with a frown, understanding just what her teacher had meant when she said Callie seemed a bit off. She was constantly irritable lately and just about anything, no matter how small, could set her off.

"Okay, mistakes happen, but don't make a habit of it, okay." Lena warned, willing to get it go this once. Callie was genuinely responsible and she took pride in doing her best. Maybe she really did just forget.

But Callie only took it as a threat. "Oh my God!" She exclaimed in exasperation. "I said I was sorry; what more do you want? School isn't the only thing in my life you know." She huffed before turning to stare out the passenger window for the rest of the ride home.

* * *

But the next day things weren't much better for Callie continued with the attitude that not only surprised her teachers but her classmates as well.

"Callie, are you paying attention?" Mr. Gales said as he paused his explanation on trigonometry to get her attention. "This is a little tricky, you don't want to miss out."

Mr. Gales resumed teaching but it was only moments later that he had to stop again because Callie was disturbing the whole class by tapping her pencil rhythmically on her desk.

"Miss. Adams." Mr. Gale said, using the name that everyone in the school used informally. "Is my class interfering with your music practice there?" He asked sarcastically, earning giggles from the rest of the kids. "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting you but you need to pay attention."

"Well maybe more kids would pay attention if you weren't so damn boring." Callie replied. Within seconds the entire class was staring at her with their mouths hanging open for no one ever spoke to the teachers like that, least of all Callie.

"Callie, please pack your things and head to the principals office." Mr. Gales said firmly. "I'll be down there as soon as class is over."

With every eye on her Callie stuffed her books into her bag and walked out the door. She knew that she was in big trouble now for not only was she being sent to the principals office but her mother was bound to find out about this. There was no way that they wouldn't inform her. It was the worst part of having her mother working at the school. All the teachers were her friends and they 'owed it to her' to keep her in the loop. Every other kids always got off with a warning, sometimes two if they were lucky but not Callie.

* * *

"I don't know what to do with you Callie." Lena was seething as she paced the principals empty office after learning about Callie's behavior. "You're out of control and you won't even talk to me about it. Is this because of Stef? The adoption? Are you feeling unwell?" She tried to understand.

"That's it right?" Callie fumed back, not caring how much trouble she was already in. "It always has to be one of those things. That's all I'm ever going to be - the orphan kid with a ticking time bomb in her chest. I can't possibly be the girl that answers back or forgets things or simply doesn't care. I can't be the girl that people think of for something other than my heart or my current status in the system. Well for once my friends are talking about me for something else. Today I was the bold girl that stood up to a teacher, or maybe I was the problem kid that was rude. I don't care, all that matters is that I wasn't a foster kid or a heart patient. I was just Callie."

By now she had tears in her eyes and for the first time Lena began to understand where Callie was coming from. The girl was truly becoming a teenager and she just wanted to fit in. Standing out and being different was no longer something to be proud of. She wanted to be and do exactly what everyone else was but unfortunately for Callie, her history had created a very strong image of herself that wasn't easily forgotten.

"Go eat your lunch." Lena ordered, needing a little bit of time to just think about everything. Callie was obviously struggling and Lena wasn't sure that punishing her was the right way to handle things. Callie had already suffered a lot in her short life and she was bound to erupt eventually.

So Callie quickly headed out to her table where her friends instantly began asking her question. They wanted to know what had happened and why she'd done what she did. They asked her what her consequences were and a couple even praised her for being so honest. Trigonometry was complicated and boring and Mr. Gales didn't do much to make it any more interesting and while none of the other kids were caught day-dreaming, the truth was that most of them were.

As Callie listened to her friends she couldn't help but feel excited - not once did anyone bring up her heart or her mother or her adoption. She was just the kid who got in trouble at school. For once Callie was exactly the girl she so desperately wanted to be.


	32. Chapter 32

The following morning Lena had calmed down significantly. Now that she understood why Callie was behaving the way that she was she was more willing to help Callie sort through all these feelings. She had to agree that Callie had constantly led a very restricted life and the girl just wanted a break. She decided to make Callie's favorite breakfast - Strawberry Crepes with whipped cream.

But when Callie came down fifteen minutes later than usual she was in a crabby, irritated mood that only worsened the more that Lena questioned her. She asked Callie if she was feeling okay and reminds her three times to take her medication, even suggesting she take if first so that she does't ruin the taste of the crepes. But all this only made Callie more agitated and so in an attempt to get away from her mother for a few extra minutes she wolfed down her breakfast, swallowed her pills dry and tried to rush back to her room, tripping over her own backpack strap in the process.

"Are you alright?" Lena asked as she helped Callie stand up again. "Are you feeling dizzy?"

"I'm fine." Callie replied through gritted teeth. She just wanted to get to school and away from Lena as soon as possible. She wanted her friends and she wanted some normalcy. "I just tripped."

"Are you sure?" Lena confirmed, feeling her forehead for a fever and checked to see if she'd hurt herself anywhere.

"Yes." Callie replied as she yanked her arm away from Lena. "I just tripped. Leave me alone."

With that she disappeared into her room and Lena was left with the realization that things weren't going to solve themselves that easily. They were both in for a rough ride and Lena was bracing herself for it.

* * *

During lunch Lena decided to check on Callie. The two had barely spoken for the rest of the morning and while Callie was behaving poorly, it was clear that she was also upset by all these recent events. Lena wanted Callie to know that she was still approachable and that no matter what, Lena still loved her.

But when she walked up to Callie's table she was surprised to find her eating a PBnJ instead of the salad that Lena had packed for her. Now Callie wasn't entirely forbidden to eat junk food or foods with al to of sugar but it was restricted and so Lena tended to save those items for special days or when Callie went to birthdays or other such events. At school she would just give her the healthier foods and the fact that Callie had exchanged with someone, knowing that she wasn't allowed to eat it too regularly made Lena angry once again.

"Where did you get that?" Lena asked Callie as she marched up to her table, towering over Callie right in front of all her friends. "Did you trade your lunch Callie?" She asked firmly, glancing around at the other kids to see which one was eating Callie's grilled chicken sandwich.

"Chill out." Callie said, trying to act like nothing was happening. "It's not like I haven't eaten it before. It's not like it's going to kill me or anything."

"Callie, it's not about having eaten it before or not." Lena said firmly, losing her patience with her daughter. "You know you're not allowed to eat it and you already had sugar at breakfast today. You have to watch your diet, you know that and if you can't control yourself then you are going to have to eat your lunch with me everyday until you can control it."

By now everyone was watching the scene and Callie was sure that she was beet-red. It was one thing to get into trouble for being bold and fearless and standing up to someone bigger than you but it was entirely another story to get reprimanded by your mother in front of all your friends like a little kid and now all Callie wanted was to just disappear. Yesterday, and even this morning, the kids had all talked about how Callie had been really brave to say what she did to Mr. Gale and how she was finally breaking out of her 'good girl' shell and all that was erased as she sat there listening to her mother threaten to watch her eat her food like she was a toddler.

"God mom, take a chill pill." Callie said as she bit her lip, hoping to sound more confident than she felt. She had to do something to turn the tables around and this was the only thing she could think of. "You're being so anal." She said and went back to her sandwich as though nothing had happened at all.

Lena by now was fuming and she grabbed Callie by the arm and yanked her up. "That's it young lady, you are going to eat your lunch in class everyday until that attitude of yours changes."

Callie got up but kept her head down for she couldn't bare to see her friends all staring at her. There was still silence as the two of them walked away and Callie was grateful for one thing - they waited for them to disappear completely before snickering and talking about her behind her back.

* * *

As Callie sat through the rest of her classes she could feel eyes during holes in her back as everyone stared at her. She kept her head down and avoided the attention of her teachers and just waited for the minutes to tick by until she could leave school and hide in her room. There was just one more class to get through and if everyone just left her alone then Callie knew that she would survive. But when the bell rang and Callie got up to head to her final class Lena was waiting outside for her. With a sinking heart Callie walked up to her mother, her friends close enough to hear even though they were just walking past.

"I have a meeting with some parents after school so you'll have to hang out here for a while." Lena stated and walked off back to where she needed to be.

Callie's heart sank further as she too headed to her class but before she could take a seat Michelle and Zoey stopped her.

"Meet us in the girls bathroom by the high school wing." Michelle said just as the teacher entered the class and asked everyone to sit down.

* * *

Curiously Callie walked towards the bathroom but when she opened the door she was surprised to find Michelle, Zoey, several other girls from her class and a bunch of eight and even ninth graders hanging around, cigarettes in everyone's hand.

"Get in here." Zoey said as she pulled Callie in and shut the door quickly. "Here, have a puff, it'll make everything not seem so crazy."

Callie looked skeptically at the lit cigarette that Zoey was offering her. She then glanced around at everyone else in the room and saw them staring at her, waiting for her to join them. With a deep breath Callie took the cigarette and inhaled a small puff. She coughed slightly but once she stopped she took another puff. She didn't want anyone staring at her any longer than they already were. Pretty soon everyone went back to the conversations they had been having before Callie had entered and Callie joined in, listening to the ninth graders tell the younger kids what high school was like. Questions were flying at them faster than they could answer but everyone was having fun.

That is, until Callie began coughing so hard that she couldn't stop. She doubled over clutching her chest, trying to breath but everything hurt. Tears filled her eyes and the last thing she heard was someone yell at Zoey, telling her to call Ms. Adams."

Lena was in the middle of her meeting, talking to a parent about their son's possible signs of dyslexia when Michelle and Tanya came bursting through the door informing her that Callie couldn't breath.


	33. Chapter 33

The next few hours were a complete blur for Lena. She felt like she was on the outside looking in as an ambulance arrived and quickly transported Callie to the E.R. where she was immediately taken for tests. She was then given drugs to help her heart slow down and an I.V. for fluids and an oxygen mask to help her breath easily. Finally they gave her something to help her sleep and only once she was sleeping peacefully and Lena's own heart calmed down as she watched Callie's chest rise and fall gently with each breath did she finally get a chance to catch her breath.

She needed something to drink soon or send she was going to pass out herself and she definitely didn't want that so, after making sure that Callie was sound asleep and comfortable she headed out towards the waiting room where the coffee and vending machines were. Once she'd gotten some caffeine into her she'd be able to figure out their next steps.

Walking into the almost empty waiting room she was surprised to find Stef sitting and reading a pamphlet about Diabetes.

"Stef?" Lena asked in surprise.

Stef instantly stood up and took a few steps towards Lena. "How is she?" She asked. "What happened?"

"She's okay now." Lena answered. "How did you..?" She trailed off, surprised that Stef had found out.

"I called you to say that I had to go to San Fransisco urgently." Stef began to explain. "A Ms. James answered and said that you had to rush Callie to hospital. She didn't have any details and I couldn't just sit around at home so I came here."

Lena gestured towards the chair Stef had been sitting in, indicating that she should sit down. "I'm just gonna grab a coffee, I'll…"

But Stef interrupted her. "I'll get it, you sit." She said as she led Lena to the chairs. "Black?" She asked.

Lena nodded gratefully as she sat down for the first time in over four hours at least. It wasn't until she was sitting that she realized just how tired she was and how much her shoulders and neck hurt from the tension.

"How long have you been here?" Lena asked as Stef handed her the coffee and took a seat beside her. "Did they tell you what was happening? They didn't tell me you had come."

"I didn't ask." Stef replied. "They only give out information to family and I didn't ask for you in case you were busy."

An awkward silence filled the space between them as it always did when Stef's connection to Callie was brought up. Neither knew exactly what she was to the girl and neither felt comfortable actually having a conversation about it.

"She's okay." Lena finally filled her in. "She was being stupid and tried smoking with her friends. Her lungs filled with smoke and she began coughing but the strain was too much for her heart and it couldn't pump fast enough. She passed out before I even got there."

"Smoking?" Stef asked in surprise. The impression she got was that Callie didn't do stupid things especially if it could jeopardize her health. She was sure that Callie knew smoking was bad, even without the added level of danger her condition caused. "She was smoking?"

"First time." Lena said. "The girls told the paramedic that she was having a bad day so they gave her a drag to help her loosen up. They didn't know it would hurt her."

"But she knew." Stef stated, unwilling to believe that Callie was unaware of the fact.

"She did." Lena confirmed. "But she's been trying to hard to be like everyone else. She's been in more trouble in school the last three days than she's been in the last two years. I think between the adolescent hormones, the restrictions on her lifestyle and the constant swinging back and forth with hospitals and the adoption, she just had enough; basically didn't care about the consequences."

As Stef listened to Lena she couldn't help but feel that Lena was being very calm and understanding about the whole thing. They weren't talking about a kid who just tried smoking or drinking to see what it was like. They were talking about a girl who could literally drop dead because she coughed too hard.

"What kind of trouble?" Stef questioned, a very fine line between Stef the interrogator and Stef the concerned-somewhat-parent.

"Nothing serous." Lena assured with a gentle smile. "Not handing in homework, talking back, basic defiance. She's already grounded and she got into more trouble at lunch today and I grounded her further. I threatened to cancel the movie this weekend but I wasn't actually going to go through with it. I know she really wants to see this movie and you love spending time with her. I guess now we will have to cancel it. She's going to need to rest for a week or so; her heart just can't take this kind of exertion. I was going to grab some coffee and then call you, gosh, I didn't even realize that my phone was still in school. I still have to call my parents." Lena said, as her thoughts shifted to all the things she needed to get done.

"Here, use mine." Stef said, digging her phone out of her purse and handing it to Lena. She watched Lena walk away and just sat there wondering if things were just as simple as Lena was making them out to be. She'd seen several kids go down the wrong path simply because no one realized just how far they were getting. Maybe it was because of her job or because of Callie's condition but either way, Stef had a bad feeling about this. She knew that Lena tried hard to keep things as steady for Callie as possible and she didn't like to punish her too hard because of her history but maybe what Callie really needed was just that. One thing she'd learned about Callie over the last year was that if you gave the girl an inch she tended to take a mile and that was unacceptable.

* * *

It was another three hours before Callie woke up and when she did Lena and Stef both went in to see her. The girl was still a little groggy and she had a machine monitoring her heart but the I.V. and oxygen was taken out. Still, she looked so small in the narrow hospital bed,, surrounded by beeping machines, sterile chemical smell and the bright, white lights. Lena walked up to Callie and instantly hugged her. She needed to feel for herself that Callie was okay. The girl would never know just how frightened Lena had been - there was no way for her to understand, not until she became a mother herself.

Stef stood back and watched with a small smile. She knew she'd get her turn to hug the girl as well but for now she was content to just observe.

"You scared me to death, you know that?" Lena said to Callie as she brushed the hair off her forehead and stroked her cheek lovingly. "I must be completely grey by now right?" She added teasingly. She was angry but Callie was in the hospital and still under observation so now wasn't the time to actually yell at her.

"It was just one cigarette mom, It's not like I'm a chain smoker or anything." Callie said sleepily.

Both Lena and Stef were completely taken aback by Callie's response. It was like the girl didn't care about what had just happened. Yes it was just one cigarette but it was enough to put her in the hospital.

"Callie, you're in a hospital." Lena pointed out. "This was stupid and you know that. I know you know better than this. What's gotten into you Callie? You're going to do some serious damage if you carry on like this."

"Quit overreacting mom." Callie replied. "Don't tell me you never tried this things when you were my age." She challenged.

Lena stood there openmouthed. Yes, it was true that she'd tried smoking and alcohol as a teenager but her life wasn't on the line.

"It's not a big deal. I just tried it once and it's not like I'm dead." Callie shrugged nonchalantly. "I won't do it again, I promise."

That seemed to be enough for Lena as she leaned down an kissed Callie once again. "You nearly gave me a heart attack." She said.

"Sorry." Callie replied with a small smile before looking past Lena and noticing Stef and the somewhat angry frown on her face.


	34. Chapter 34

"Did you say something about going to San Fransisco?" Lena asked Stef the following day while the two of them were sitting in the waiting room while Callie had been taken for one last test before she could be discharged. "Gosh, I was so muddled up back then."

"Max is flying down instead." Stef answered. "I wanted to stay incase you guys needed anything."

Lena smiled gratefully though the mention of Max was a little unsettling. The man was nice and friendly but he was also quite convincing - not in a manipulative way but still, it made Lena uneasy. But what made her the most uncomfortable was how close he was to Stef.

"What did the doctors say when they asked to speak to you earlier?" Stef inquired. "Is everything okay with Callie?" She'd been curious and worried ever since they had requested to speak to Lena privately but she hadn't had a chance to ask her until now.

"She's fine." Lena assured, her face clouding with stress as she recalled the conversation. "It was actually about finances and legal issues."

"What do you mean?" Stef questioned. "Do you need money? I can alwa…"

"No." Lena stopped her. "The government covers Callie's medical expenses as long as she is a ward of the state. The doctor basically warned me that if she does anything unnecessary that could cause her heart to deteriorate further then the state won't pay and the hospital will be forced to hold surgery until a financial agreement can be reached and should she need a transplant then her name will be removed from the donor list until she's clean for at least eighteen-months." Lena slumped over slightly as the weight of the stress took over. "Basically, if she smokes or drinks or uses drugs then she won't qualify for a transplant and if they have to do any surgery for her then I have to come up with the finances. The government won't aid us."

"Maybe you need to be firmer with her." Stef suggested. "I know she thinks that this was just an experimental thing that everyone does in their youth but it's not that simple in her case."

"That's just it." Lena said. "It's the fact that she's always treated differently that's pushing her to do this in the first place. She doesn't want to be a different case, she wants to be just like everyone else."

"But she isn't." Stef pointed out. "And wishing and pretending that she is isn't going to make it come true."

"Look, Callie is a smart girl. She knows these things already. She was just being a kid and she promised it won't happen again. I trust her because I know she doesn't want to add to her problems. Give her a chance. Everyone makes mistakes and she's allowed her share as well."

But that didn't sit well with Stef for while she agreed that everyone made mistakes, she disagreed that the people responsible should just sit back and allow it to happen as some sort of right of passage, especially when their life is on the line. But she didn't say anything for she knew it wasn't her place. If Lena truly believed that Callie could be trusted then who was she to question her, for no one knew Callie better than Lena.

* * *

"Now you got lucky this time, your heart muscle just spasmed but next time you might not be so lucky." The doctor said warningly to Callie as he signed the formed that said she was free to leave. "You still need to rest up for the rest of the week and take things easy for a few days after that. If you feel anything out of the ordinary - chest pains, shortness of breath, coughing fits, anything, come right back here."

Callie and Lena both nodded as they listened to the instructions they were being given. She already knew most of this for she'd been through it all before. The only difference this time was that she'd done something stupid that made her cough so hard that she ended up in the hospital. She would require plenty of fluids, light meals, lots of rest and a mother to hover over her for a while but then she'd be back to normal.

Callie lay in bed Thursday, Friday and the weekend with Lena handing her meals, water, medication and entertainment every half an hour or so. She was allowed to use the bathroom and could sit down to bathe as long as Lena was around to help her but other than that she was suck in bed and she was fed up of it. She'd already finished three books from her English Literature list, another two just for fun, watched almost every movie in their collection, some of them twice and even read two chapters extra from her science book even though they weren't going to start those topics for another few months at least. But now there was nothing left for Callie to do. She couldn't read anymore and there was only so much T.V. she could watch.

Stef had come by a few times to sit with her. She'd brought her little treats - sorbets, sugar-free milkshakes, an adult coloring book filled with images of mythological characters and the stories behind them and a pair of very soft, fuzzy socks infused with Aloe Vera. She would tell Callie stories of her childhood and the mischief she'd gotten into, waring the girl not to get any ideas from them and even quizzed Callie on Algebra formulas for a test they were due to have the following day.

But by Sunday evening nothing could cheer Callie up for she was just sick of all of it. She was feeling fine and her breathing wasn't labored any more but still Lena wouldn't let her leave the house. She was now free to eat at the table and even sit on the steps outside their apartment but she couldn't go for a walk or to the park to take pictures.

On Monday Lena was still on leave to stay home with Callie but she did have to attend a fund-raising auction for the school that evening. Stef was supposed to come and 'baby sit' Callie because Lena refused to leave her home all alone for she couldn't be sure how long the event would last. They were auctioning off some handsome items donated by local businesses and philanthropists who's children have or had benefitted from the quality education that Anchor Beach provided.

Callie was actually looking forward to spending time with Stef. Over the last four days she'd come to enjoy the woman's company. She now saw a more rebellious side to the woman who seems to put together and ridged. As a teenager Stef was a good girl, a lot like Callie, but she still seemed to fit in with her peers and that was something Callie was hoping to learn from Stef. The woman talked about how she was still in touch with a lot of the kids she went to school and college with; she talked about they all helped each other even now as adults and how there was very little she looked back on an genuinely regretted about her time in school. In her own subtle way she'd let Callie know that you didn't have to be rebellious or defiant in order to be popular. Stef herself had done well in school and wasn't the type to go out and get drunk. She was comfortable and content with who she was and found her niche among people who accepted her for who she was instead of trying to be who they wanted her to be and that was a lesson that Callie seemed to need to learn, and fast.

* * *

Callie was sitting in front of the T.V. not really paying attention to the movie playing when her phone buzzed. A few of her friends had been texting her on and off over the last couple of days - some of them asking how she was doing, others sharing news she was missing out on but a few of them blamed her for the entire lot getting into trouble for bringing cigarettes onto campus. Callie couldn't wait to get back to school and see for herself what was really going on and figure out a way to set things straight but until then she would just have to make do with the news she was getting.

But this time the text was different. It was Wyatt sending out a group text to all his friends to say that since his parents left for Washington for two nights his older brother was having a party at his house and that everyone was invited. Now Callie desperately wanted to go as well but she knew that Lena was never going to allow it. She couldn't bare to wait an extra second to see her friends and find out who really blamed her for what had happened. She did know that everyone in the bathroom that day had been suspended from school for three days and those who had already been in trouble before had been given an additional two days along with a firm warning and any further indiscretion would result in suspension. Fortunately for Callie those kids were all ninth graders and she didn't actually have much to do with them at all. It was her own classmates that worried her. Had they not invited her to join them then they would never have been in any trouble and she had to find a way to make it up to them.

"Honey, I'm going for a shower." Lena called from her bedroom. "Do you need anything before I go?"

"No." Callie said, wishing she could just ask Lena to let her go to the party. But she knew there was no chance for not only was Lena too afraid to let her out of her sight for more than a few minutes but she was never going to allow her to hang out at a party with the same kids who gave her the cigarette in the first place.

Just then her phone beeped again but this time it was Zoey. _Hey, can you make it to the party tonight? I heard Toby's gonna be there and he's really been telling people to lay off you because you didn't collapse on purpose. I think you really have a chance with him._

Callie reread the text about a hundred times as a thousand thoughts went through her mind - How did Zoey know that she liked Toby? Did anyone else know? Did _everyone_ else know? Did Toby know? Did he like her back? Was he really standing up for her? Did she really have a chance with him? Would this party be the place they finally got together? Did she have the guts and the talent to sneak out of the house without anyone catching her? Did she have a death wish?

Reluctantly Callie picked up her phone to reply to the text and say that she couldn't make it but to thank Toby for defending her. She hoped that Zoey could get him to think about her just a little bit so that when she got back to school he would still be her friend but it wasn't fair to ask Zoey to do any of that for she was one of the girls who got into trouble because of her and luckily for Callie she was also one of those who didn't hold it against her.

Just as Callie was about to send her text Lena's phone buzzed on the coffee table in front of her. Glancing at the phone she noticed a message from Stef saying that she was running a little late and would be there about twenty minutes late but she was still coming to hang out with Callie.

Biting her lower lip nervously at the plan she had just concocted she gingerly picked up Lena's phone and began to reply.

 _Was just about to text you to say that I wasn't feeling too well and told my boss that I couldn't make it to the Auction. There's no need for you to come over. Take your time and finish your work._

Callie's heart jumped a second later when the phone buzzed again.

 _ **Are you sure? If you're not feeling well I can still come over and look after both of you.**_

Callie was slightly surprised by the response but she didn't think too much off it as she sent another text back. _I'm sure. Thank you. We'll see you another day._

 _ **Okay, feel better. Call me if you need anything.**_

Callie waited a few moments and when no further messages came though she quickly deleted the last few messages and then sent one last reply to Stef.

 _Okay_ **.**

It now looked like Callie had sent that last message as a reply to Stef's first message about coming late. She heading to Lena's bathroom and went in, watching her mother dry her hair.

"Stef messaged you. She said she was doing some work and was going to be twenty minutes late. I told her it was okay."

"Late?" Lena asked with a frown, not having an extra twenty minutes to spare.

"I'll be fine mom." Callie assured. "I'm not a baby."

Reluctantly Lena accepted the answer and continued to get ready as she gave Callie a list of rules to follow both before and after Stef arrived. Another half hour passed and Lena finally headed out the door with one last warning to 'be good and behave for Stef'.

The moment the door shut Callie grinned triumphantly as she pulled out her own cellphone.

 _I'll be there._ She replied to Zoey and headed to her room to change.


	35. Chapter 35

Callie nervously walked to the back of the house where kids were gathered in and around a pool. There were empty solo cups littered all over the place and music blasting out from one of the downstairs windows. The only food item visible seemed to be bags of chips and Callie guessed that it was only so that people had something to put into their stomachs before they got too drunk. Off to one side there was a keg of beer and bottles of what Callie guessed was vodka, a few bottles of coke and sprite as well.

Callie glanced around looking for any of her friends but the place was mostly filled with high-schoolers - obviously Wyatt's brothers friends. Finally spotting Zoey and the rest of her group sitting on some pool chairs she wandered over and called out Zoey's name.

"Hey, you came." Zoey said excitedly as she rushed over to Callie but Callie noticed that none of the other kids seemed too thrilled to see her. "Okay so people are talking about what happened but just ignore them. Toby is hanging out with Anna and Julie over there by the diving board but if you walk close by and he notices you maybe you can get him to come talk to you instead."

Callie nodded nervously and then walked over to the food and beverage table to see what she could get to drink. Grabbing a cup of her own she move passed the keg and the vodka and went straight for the coke. She poured herself a glass and was just about to take a sip but the closer it got to her face the stronger the smell of alcohol got. Taking a tiny sip Callie realized that the bottle had already been spiked. She grabbed the second bottle and smelt alcohol in that too. Doing the same thing with the Lemonade and finding no difference she tossed her cup into the trash and grabbed a bag of chips instead. She wanted to join her friends but she wasn't sure she was welcome and she wanted to talk to Toby but she just didn't have the courage. Instead she wandered into the house hoping to find something that wasn't already laced with alcohol just to give herself something to do.

"Isn't that the kid that nearly died from one puff?" Callie heard an older boy ask the girl he was talking to. "Who invited her?"

"She's the reason Megan got suspended." The girl replied. "Principal Grant said that's her last warning, if she so much as forgets to dot an 'i' they're gonna ask her to leave."

"All because of that spoilt brat who doesn't get into any trouble just because her mom teaches there?" The boy replied. "I'm gonna tell her to leave."

The kid began walking up to Callie but before he could reach her someone intervened. "Leave her alone, it's not like she did it on purpose, it was an accident."

"Chill out kid." The boy said to Toby who was now standing between him and Callie. "It's not like I'm gonna hurt her or anything.

"Yeah well she has just as much a right to be here as anyone else." Toby replied. "Besides, if your friend wasn't already in so much trouble she wouldn't have gotten her last warning. Callie isn't responsible for that."

"Whatever man." The boy replied, not looking for a fight. "Just keep her out of trouble okay."

The two of them walked off and Toby turned towards Callie. "Don't listen to them, they're idiots."

"But they're right." Callie replied. "It's because of me that everyone got into trouble. I just wanted to have some fun for a change. I didn't mean for any of that to happen."

"Relax." Toby offered with a smile. "They deserved what they got. I had an uncle who would smoke about fifteen cigarettes a day for over twenty years; he died two years ago from lung cancer and it wasn't pretty. He was in and out of hospital for chemo and radiation for months and his kids were miserable. They were just ten and seven when he died and I just don't see why people would choose to even start doing that to their bodies and families."

"I don't know." Callie shrugged. "I guess I wasn't really thinking about any of that. Everyone was doing it so I wanted to join in. I guess I knew it was bad for me even without the heart condition but…"

"Peer pressure is hard, I get it." Toby agreed with a smile. "Let's get out of here. The water is great, let's go splash around."

"I don't have a suit." Callie replied awkwardly, excited that he was inviting her to join him though. "I didn't know there was a pool."

"Come on." Toby said and lead her outside and to a group of eight graders. "Lisa, you bring any extra suits?" He asked her and Lisa tossed him a tote bag. "Thanks." He said and handed it to Callie. "Pick one and change in the bathroom."

Callie headed back inside to the bathroom and waited a good fifteen minutes in line before she could get in. During that time Tanya showed up and waited outside for Callie. When Callie finally got her turn she emptied the contents of the bag on the floor she began rummaging through what looked to be at least eight or nine bikinis. With a sinking heart Callie shoved them all back into the bag and left the bathroom only to be stopped by Tanya.

"What happened?" Tanya asked when Callie came out in her own clothes. "Why didn't you change?"

"They're bikinis." Callie replied. "I can't wear a two piece."

"Why not?" Tanya asked confused.

Callie looked embarrassed and glanced around them to make sure that no one was listening before she whispered. "I have a scar on my chest from surgery." She explained. "Everyone will see it."

"So what?" Tanya asked. "Who cares, it's so dark outside no one will notice, besides, Toby's waiting for you."

So clearly quite a few people knew about her crush on Toby and she wondered if this was all a set up. Still, she wanted to hang out with Toby no matter how doubtful she was about his intentions. Finally gaining the courage she needed she headed to one of the bedrooms and quickly pulled out the least reveling of all the bikinis she could find and put it on and then headed to the water where even more kids were now splashing around including Kaylie, Zoey, Toby and Aiden.

Callie quickly jumped into the shallow end but the water was freezing and she involuntarily shrieked.

"Come on, suck it up." Kaylie said as she splashed Callie getting her wet from head to toe. Tanya joined them and the three of them splashed each other, laughing and enjoying themselves. Callie was glad that she'd chosen not to drink for without the alcohol she was actually having fun. She just had to remember to get home before midnight or Lena would literally kill her.

Pretty soon someone decided to start a chicken fight and all the kids were dividing themselves into two teams and the boys were hoisting girls up onto their shoulders while pool noodles were being passed around. Callie watched but she didn't attempt to join in. She wasn't sure it was a good idea, besides, she didn't think all the kids really wanted her there to begin with.

"Come on, you can sit on Toby's shoulders." Kaylie said as she pulled Callie into the team. "I'm gonna sit on Wyatt." She added seductively. "I'm gonna love this game."

Toby waded over to the two of them and offered Callie his arm to help her up. "Come on." He encouraged. "It's not illegal or anything, just a game."

The offer was too tempting and finally Callie grabbed the hand and allowed Wyatt and Toby to lift her out of the water and onto his shoulders.

"Just hold on tight." Toby ordered as he grabbed her thighs to keep her steady. "We're gonna win this." He yelled, getting into the mood.

Everyone was splashing and waving their pool noodles around and every few seconds there would be a scream followed by a splash as someone or the other fell over into the water. Callie, surprisingly managed to stay on top of Toby far longer than she'd imagined. She didn't realize that most of the other pairs were avoiding her as much as they could. Clearly they were all still very reluctant to involve her in anything after the smoking incident.

But in the heat of the game and with water splashing all around someone didn't look to see who they were hitting and waved their noodle hard in Callie's direction, knocking her right off Toby's shoulders and straight into the water. The whole thing happened so quickly that Callie didn't have a chance to take in a breath until she was already in the water. Her chest filled with water and to her horror the coughing fit started up again, with twice the force than it had the last time.

Callie couldn't even register what people were saying around her as she tried to clear her lungs of the water and catch her breath at the same time. Her chest was on fire and she felt like she was genuinely going to die.

"Lena." She managed to cry out between coughs and saw someone grab her phone.

"She's not picking up." Zoey said in complete panic as someone else dialed nine-one-one. "What do I do?"

Everyone around Callie was completely freaked out which did nothing to help Callie calm down. She needed someone to help her and after Lena there was only one other person she could call.

"Plaza Hotel." She managed to stutter. "Ask for Stef Foster." The effort it took to just say those few words drained whatever little energy Callie had left. She gave up even trying to talk or comprehend what was happening around her. It was almost like she was hovering overhead watching as paramedics rushed towards her and began doing what they did best. She felt herself being lifted up and moved but she could no longer see anything for it took more effort than she had to even open her eyes. Whatever was coming was coming and she no longer cared either way. That was her last thought before everything around her went black.


	36. Chapter 36

Stef didn't know how she'd managed it but she'd made it to the hospital in record time. Luckily for her not a single cop caught her speeding or running at least three lights. She'd been sitting on the couch with a glass of wine and some music playing, just relaxing and think about Callie and Lena when the hotel phone rang. Answering it she fully expected it to be the front desk informing her of some mail she'd received from Max or perhaps to give her some information on an event they were hosting which they often did since she was basically a permanent resident there. But when a completely panicked child began to ramble on about Callie and drowning and ambulance Stef was practically out the door before she could even finish talking.

Entering Sacred Cross ER, the closest hospital in the area, Stef rushed to the nurse's desk to ask if a Callie Jacob had been brought in within the last twenty minutes. When the nurse confirmed that Callie had infant been brought to this hospital Stef heaved a sigh of relief and began asking about her condition.

"Her airway's cleared and she's being given fluids but until we get the test results we just won't know for sure." The nurse replied.

"What about her heart." Stef enquired. "She has a condition, it's um…" She paused, trying to think of the term Lena had said."

"I'm sorry, you are?" The nurse asked, realizing that this obviously wasn't Callie's mother, if she didn't even know the name of her condition."

"I'm her…" Once again she paused, unsure of what to say. But she quickly made her decision for she wanted some answers. "I'm her biological mother, I just haven't been in her life very long." She replied. "I can't get a hold of her other mother right now. That's why I was called."

"Okay." The nurse said somewhat skeptically, unsure if she believed this woman or not. "Well right now we really don't have many answers except that she's stable for now. We'll let you know when we do the tests but until then please see if you can get in touch with someone who knows her history and can make medical decision for her."

With that the nurse was gone and Stef wanted to stop her and ask if she could see Callie but she was sure they would say 'no'. Wandering towards the open door Stef once again tried to call Lena but after about seven or eight rings there was still no answer. Stef sighed wondering what she should do. Should she leave Callie and go to Lena's house to get her or should she stay here in case Callie did need something. Deciding to wait a few more minutes until she could ask the nurse she headed into the waiting area and there she found two girls and a boy sitting and looking very worried.

"Hey, are you Callie's friends?" Stef asked as she walked up to them and sat down beside them.

"Yes, are you Stef?" One of the girls asked.

"I am." Stef replied. "What happened?" She asked, finally hoping to get the real story.

"We were just playing chicken fight." The girl answered. "Callie got knocked off Toby's shoulders and she must have swallowed some water because she came up coughing really, really hard and couldn't stop. We had to call nine-one-one."

"You did the right thing." Stef assured the terrified children. "You guys did great."

"Ms. Foster." The nurse suddenly interrupted as she suck her head into the waiting room. "Callie's asking for you."

Stef quickly got up and followed the nurse to Callie's room. "Callie had an IV hooked up to her arm, heart monitoring pads stuck to her chest, a blood pressure gauge on her left index finger and an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose. She looked so tiny in the small bed, even smaller than she had the last time she was in hospital and Stef felt sick at the sight.

I'm sorry." Callie said laboriously, her face looking pale the moment the mask was off.

"Hey, shh." Stef cooed as she gently but firmly placed the mask back on. "Don't talk love, it's gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay." She assured as she gently combed her fingers through Callie's tangled hair in an attempt to sooth her. She once again tried to call Lena as Callie drifted off to sleep, the events of the evening having taken it's toll on her.

Once Callie was completely asleep Stef headed back to the waiting area where two adults had now joined the three young children. She walked straight to them and smiled.

"She's okay." She assured them all. "She's sleeping right now and we are waiting on the test results but she was alert and talking."

"I'm Bryan, Zoey's father. This is my wife Karen." The man said as she reached out his hand to shake Stef's.

"Stef Foster." Stef smiled warmly.

"We had no idea the kids were at a party. Zoey was supposed to be at a sleepover at a friend's house." He explained, giving all three kids a rather disapproving look. "After what happened last week with the smoking it's suffices to say that there will be severe consequences to follow."

While Stef felt sorry for the kids who were clearly now in trouble she also agreed with the man. Irrespective of Callie's health, these kids needed to learn boundaries. They were at an age where they wanted to try everything but were still too young to really understand the consequences and without proper parenting and guidance they could easily follow a dangerous path. "I think you kids can go home now." Stef said. "It was nice of you to come in with her but there's nothing more you can do. Go get some sleep." All three kids looked exhausted and worried and she hoped that this really was a wakeup call for all of them including Callie.

Trying Lena for the umpteenth time Stef headed back to Callie's room and sat beside her watching her labored breathing as she slept while the monitors gently beeped rhythmically in the background. She couldn't figure out how to contact Lena for the woman wasn't answering her cellphone or the home phone and Stef was beginning to realizing that Lena hadn't stayed home after all. Callie had obviously sent those texts in order to get away.

About ten minutes later a nurse came to check Callie's vitals and while she was there a doctor entered too.

"We got the test results back, the coughing took a toll on her heart but there doesn't seem to be any serious damage. After what happened last week we do want to keep an extra close eye on her but by the looks of it, she got lucky again." The doctor explained.

Stef all but hugged the man as she felt she could finally breath again. She didn't know what she would have done if something worse happened to Callie and she couldn't even begin to imagine how Lena went through this so many times before. Nothing in Stef's entire life worried her more than Callie and besides the day she actually gave Callie away, nothing

Another fifteen minutes passed when Stef's phone began to buzz. She quickly got up and headed out to answer Lena's call, not wanting to risk waking Callie who needed all the rest she could get.

"Hey." Stef said, not wanting to worry Lena too much until she got there.

"What happened?" Lena jumped to the chase. There had been a total of thirty-seven unanswered calls on her phone - a majority of those from Stef but a few from Callie's friends and some unknown numbers as well.

"There was an accident." Stef said gently. "Callie's at Sacred Cross. She's okay…"

"What happened?" Lena asked again, desperately needing the details.

Stef gave her the gist of what had happened and assured Lena that Callie was okay and so drive safely. They hung up and Stef went back to Callie's room to wait for Lena but this time Callie was awake again.

"Hey love, how are you feeling?" Stef asked affectionately as she walked over to the girl.

"Tired." Callie answered honestly, more easily than she'd spoken before. "Is my mom here yet?" She asked, sounding far younger than she was."

"She's on her way." Stef promised as she handed Callie a glass of water with a straw in it. "Here, the doctor said you need to keep hydrated."

Callie drank the water slowly and found that it soothed her dry and scratchy throat. She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid. She had gotten lucky once just a week ago and here she was risking everything once again.

"I'm sorry." She finally said to Stef. "I was stupid. My mom is gonna kill me."

Stef sighed for what Callie said was true - she had been stupid and reckless and it could have cost her her life. "You sent me those texts?" She confirmed instead and watched Callie nod. "Was this really worth it?" She asked curiously.

"No." Callie replied immediately, having realized that fact herself. "I don't know why it suddenly bothers me so much but I'm just sick of being the sick kid."

There was so much that Stef wanted to say to Callie right now, now that she was seeing things more clearly for herself. But the girl looked so tired that she decided to wait a while. Later she would put her two cents in - she'd remind Callie of what she was feeling in this moment and then use it help her learn from all this.

"I'm still so sleepy." Callie said, feeling uncomfortable about that.

"They've given you something to keep your heart relaxed." Stef informed her. "Drowsiness is a side effect. Don't worry about it, just sleep."

Callie nodded in understand, feeling relieved that it was safe to close her eyes and let the sleep take over. But before she fell asleep she reached out her hand to Stef. "Stay with me okay, please." She requested.

Stef was almost in tears as she took Callie's hand and held it firmly in her own - there was nowhere she would rather be and if all this drama had to happen then she was thankful that it was at least lowering Callie's walls against her. Perhaps this really was going to be a turning point their all their lives.


	37. Chapter 37

Stef couldn't wipe the smile of her face as she waited for Lena to arrive. It had taken them all some difficult times and trials but it seemed they were finally coming together as a family - whatever that looked like. When Stef had first sought Callie out, she'd imagined a bond and a relationship with the daughter she'd given up all those years ago but Lena had grown to be a big part of that too. She enjoyed Lena's company and would be eternally grateful to her for supporting her with Callie when things weren't as simple as Stef had hoped.

Looking at Callie once again Stef smiled. This girl had grown to be such a huge part of her life and Stef's only regret was that her initial attempt at giving Callie a better life had failed. It was something she would never fully forgive herself for even though she knew that there was no way to predict the future and all anyone could do was make a choice and hope for the best. However things didn't always workout the way you hoped no matter how good the intentions. Hindsight is the only thing with twenty-twenty vision but there wasn't anything Stef, or anyone else, could do about it now.

But from here on out things would be different for the better. Callie was finally opening up to Stef and they were all finding a place for each other in their lives. Stef was still, in no way, looking to take over any part of parenting from Lena and when the adoption date was given she'd be right there, front and center to support Lena and Callie on the most important day of their lives but still, she was confidant that there was a place for her in their family unit. Lena had always been welcoming and encouraged Callie to give Stef a chance which finally seemed to be paying off. Lena and Stef themselves seemed to have a close relationships. They had become good friends over the past year and Stef would go as far as to say that they'd become best friends. Both women had come to trust each other and even depend on each other. Stef had never met anyone like Lena before - she was caring and loyal and she wasn't afraid to stand up for what she believed in, no matter how hard it was. The woman was everything that Stef wished she could be - she had a loving family that accepted her for who she was, mistakes and all; she was happy and content with her life despite how simple it was and whatever she did, she did for herself and for others without worrying that the rest of the world was watching or even because of it for that matter. She wasn't looking to be in the spotlight and the spotlight wasn't looking for her and that was vastly different from the life that Stef had led from the time she was a young child.

Thinking about both their lives and they way that their own parents had raised them so different made Stef wonder how Callie had turned into the person that was was. With no family, no role-models and basically no one to teach her right from wrong, the girl was still a decent human being. Agreed, the choices Callie had made in the last few weeks weren't the best and her attitude had been outright hostile but though all of that Callie had never once tried to hurt anyone or even herself for that matter. She was just an average teenager falling prey to the general dilemmas that every adolescent faces while trying to push the boundaries of her own personal limitations that her heart condition and her foster status enforce. Even her attitude toward Stef had been more about showing Stef just how hurt she was by the woman's decision to give her up. Her behavior towards Lena was obviously just a way to cope with all that had been going on. She was the only constant in Callie's life and the safest person for Callie to attack when she felt cornered. It was clear to Callie that no matter what happened, Lena wasn't going anywhere no matter what. She was the one who was never going to hurt Callie or just disappear from her life no matter what Callie threw at her and child was obviously good at heart and Stef didn't doubt for a second that if the tables ever turned then Callie would stand fiercely in front of Lena, ready to protect her in much the same way. As angry as she could get, as much as she hated Lena's hovering and babying and as much as she longed for more freedom and privileges, she loved Lena and that was clear as day.

Voices distracted Stef from her thoughts and she turned to find Lena standing outside the door talking to Callie's doctor. She quietly left the room to join the two outside and listened as the doctor gave Lena the full details of Callie's accident and the treatment. After about ten minutes of questions and assurance that Callie was in fact fine, the doctor left leaving the two women alone. Lena turned to face Stef, confusion still written all over her face and Stef reached out for Lena's hand, taking it gently into her own.

"She's okay." Stef assured with a smile. "Those kids got her out of the water so fast that there was no damage. She's just tired but she was talking and smiling and she asked for you."

Tears filled Lena's eyes as she glanced though the small window in Callie's door and saw her daughter fast asleep, hooked up to several machines.

"Hey." Stef comforted, taking a step towards the woman. "It's okay. It's going to be okay." She assured. "Callie's a fighter and I think she really learned her lesson this time. She said she was sorry for doing stupid things. She didn't mean it. She's just tired of the system and the doctors and trying to fit in. It's just a phase she's going through, it'll pass and you'll have your little girl back."

Stef tried to pull Lena closer so the younger woman could lean on her but instead Lena pulled away and wiggled her hand out of Stef's grasp.

"It's not a phase." Lena spat angrily. "This new Callie, this impulsive, hostile child only appeared when you came into her life. You are the reason that all this is happening. You're the reason she's suffered the way she has, you're the reason she didn't get adopted and you're the reason she's turned into this monster. She was fine without you so why don't you just go back to where you came from and leave us alone."


	38. Chapter 38

Stef stared at Lena in utter shock. She couldn't believe what she was hearing for it was definitely not what she expected. She assumed Lena would have a million questions - most of which she wouldn't have answers to - but not once did she imagine Lena blaming her for any of this.

"You do nothing but ruin everything you come in contact with." Lena continued angrily. "You had everything and then some while you were going up but you still gave your baby away to a system that couldn't give a damn about her. She was homeless and unhappy and unloved for so many years and when she finally did find a home you just had to show up again and ruin it for her? What did she ever do to you to deserve this?"

"Lena, I wasn't out to ruin her life." Stef tried to explain, still confused about where all this was coming from. "I just wanted to know my daughter."

"Well, my daughter was doing just fine until you showed up and turned her whole life upside down." Lena spat back.

"How is this my fault Lena?" Stef questioned. "Yes, I stopped the adoption once but I never came between you two."

"She is sick of being a foster kid and she wouldn't have been one any longer if you'd just stayed well enough alone." Lena replied angrily.

"Yes, I looked for her and found her because I wanted to make sure that she was okay." Stef began.

"Well where were you for the ten years that she was not okay?" Lena shot back, the pain for what her daughter had been though visible in her eyes.

"I didn't know that. I thought she was adopted and happy." Stef justified. "I have done everything you have asked me to do from the moment I entered your life. You asked me to leave you alone and I was ready to do that but you're the one who asked me to stay."

"Well you should never have shown up in the first place." Lena replied, angry that she hadn't just sent Stef away when she had the chance.

"Or maybe you should try being an actual parent." Stef snapped back, angry that all this was being pinned on her. "Quit giving in to everything just because of her history and your fear of her rejecting you all the time."

"What do you know about parenting?" Lena replied with a scoff. "You haven't been a parent a day in your life. You barely even held your child before getting rid of her."

"I know I can do what is best for my child no matter how hard it is." Stef answered.

"What was that? Run away and pretend it's all just magically going to be fine?" Lena questioned. "That's called ostrich syndrome and it's not a parenting technique."

"You can't predict the future Lena." Stef stated firmly. "I knew I couldn't be mother at fifteen and my parents sure as hell weren't going to give her a warm welcome, what was I supposed to do? I gave her to a couple that was supposed to love her the way that I did."

"Well they did." Lena shot back, a fire in her eyes. "They loved her just enough to give her away - just like you."

"That is not fair." Stef replied, almost in tears herself for technically what Lena said was true when you came down to the heart of it. "I hate that she didn't find a good home and I have been doing everything I possible can to make it right ever since I found her, no matter how hard it is. You think I didn't want to just give in and buy her whatever she asked me to? God knows I could have but I didn't because you asked me not to and you were right - I would have given her the wrong message and I can't buy her love. I did the right thing even though she hated me for it."

"I told you to do that because it was the right thing to do." Lena pointed out. "I am her mother and I know what's right for her."

"But you can't handle being the bad guy." Stef replied. "That's why I had to say no to her instead of you just telling her that she can't come to me. You didn't want to do that because you're so worried that she'll tell you she hates you or she'll say you're not her mother. She was smoking and nearly got herself killed and you did nothing."

"I did not do nothing." Lena defended. "I told her it was wrong but what was punishing her going to do? She was already in hospital with tubes down her throat. Was that not consequence enough?"

"No, If you'd been firmer with her then maybe she wouldn't be right back here again. She didn't take her last incident seriously despite how much everyone warned her and all you said was that you trust her and that she doesn't want to harm herself further but the truth is she's a teenager and she makes stupid decisions without considering the consequences. You think I tried to get pregnant at fifteen? No, I just took the opportunity to have sex with the boy I had a crush on and I didn't think about anything past those twenty minutes we would be together. It didn't mean I was asking for it or that I deserved it. I was just a kid and so is she and you can't put that much responsibility on her especially not when her life depends on it."

"FINE." Lena screamed back, fed up of listening to Stef for just like Stef even Lena knew that there was some truth to her words. "Fine, if you think you can do better then go ahead. Let's she how perfect a parent you are."

Fine." Stef replied, feeling like she had some power for the very first time. "I'll do it and I'll do a better job than you. Callie belongs with me anyway."

With that Stef turned and walked away, a determination in her stride that terrified Lena. What had she gone and done and how was she going to get out of it? Had she really just offered custody to Stef and was Stef going to make it legal? She was a high powered lawyer and a damn good one to boot so she could definitely make it happen if she wanted and Lena was definitely no match for her. How she was supposed to put a stop to all this she didn't know but right now she desperately needed to see her daughter. She turned to enter her daughters room only to find the girl standing in the doorway her eyes wide and terrified as she stared at Lena with all the pain and rejection of a child being given away yet again.


	39. Chapter 39

"Callie." Lena said as she walked towards the girl who just took a few steps backward farther into the room to keep some distance. "Sweetheart, please let me explain."

"You don't want me?" Callie asked, her lower lip quivering and her legs threatening to buckle under her weight. "You just hand me over?" She asked accusingly.

"No baby." Lena tried to reassure. "I didn't mean that."

"No, I knew this would happen." Callie pushed away. "It always happens. I should have known that it wouldn't last. Eventually everyone gets sick of me."

"Callie stop." Lena ordered as she led the girl back to bed. "I was just angry. I didn't mean it."

"Well I do." Callie replied, refusing to let the hurt show and turning in into anger instead. "I don't need you. I've survived on my own for so long and I can do it again. Besides, this time at least there's someone who does want me." Callie said, trying to hurt Lena in the same way that Lena had just hurt her. "And I'd rather live with her anyway. She's way less uptight than you."

"Well too bad." Lena said firmly. "I don't care if you want to live with her or anyone else, you are mine and I'm not letting you go. I made a mistake and I said something I didn't mean because I was angry but that doesn't mean that I don't love you or want you or won't fight for you with every ounce of energy I have."

It was something in that statement that changed Callie's entire demeanor. "You think you'll have to fight?" She asked with wide eyes. Yes she was hurt and yes she was angry but that didn't change how much she loved Lena and wanted to live with her. She was her mother for all intents and purposes and nothing was going to change that ever.

"No." Lena said, hoping that she sounded more confident than she felt. "We were both just angry. We disagreed in parenting styles and said some things we both didn't mean."

"But why does it matter what she thinks?" Callie asked, more confused than she wanted to be. "Is she really trying to take me away?"

"She cares for you too." Lena explained. "She hasn't known you very long and you've already been in hospital twice. It's frightening for us to watch. I was so scared for so long when I first met you and it still scares me even now. Both these times you were admitted was because of something that you did and I know that you weren't trying to hurt yourself but honey, whether you like it or not, this is your life and you have to be more careful." Pausing a moment she redirected the conversation back to what she was trying to say. This conversation could wait until Callie was back home and the fear of Stef taking her away was gone. "Anyway, she was scared and because she doesn't have much say in any of this I think she felt very powerless. I wasn't doing things the way that she would have done and she feels that her way would work better."

"It wouldn't." Callie answered, shaking her head. "I want to be like them so much I would have done it anyway." She said honestly.

"I know." Lena replied. "I know you're tired and I know you just want it all to be over, I do too, but baby this isn't the way. You're only hurting yourself."

"I know." Callie answered tiredly. "But I wasn't trying to hurt myself, I promise."

"I know that too." Lena replied. "That's why I was trying to give you some freedom - I know that you don't want things to get worse for yourself."

"How come you never yelled at me?" Callie asked curiously. Even though she hadn't actually meant to hurt herself, she had still done so anyway.

"You never got much say in anything your whole life - you were tossed from one home to the next with no place to really call your own. I just really wanted to give you a choice and a voice. I wanted you to know that your opinion mattered. I wanted to give you some power. Teenagers do stupid things whether they're allowed to or not so I guess I wanted to be approachable - I wanted you to feel safe to come to me if you were in trouble rather than try to hide it because you were afraid. I figured that if I treated you like an adult then you would act like one too."

She paused here as they both thought about everything that had happened and how the other had felt through it all. It had been a struggle for both of them and it seemed that they had both been keeping their feelings to themselves but now finally they were opening up and being honest with each other which was the biggest step to fixing everything. But there was more that Lena wasn't proud to admit but for them to really get past everything she knew she had to lay it all out there.

"I guess there was also some truth to what Stef said." She finally admitted. "I guess I feel just as scared as you that just because I'm not your biological mother one day you will turn around and say that you don't want to be my daughter. What if one day you find someone else you'd rather live with? And now with Stef in your life you may want her instead. She definitely has a lot more to offer you than I do."

"That would never happen." Callie said as she saw for the first time just how vulnerable her own mother could be; how she was just as 'unrelated' as she herself was. They were both desperate to feel loved and wanted by someone they had only known for a very short time. "You're my mom and I know I got mad at you and I said that I didn't want you but it's not true. I don't want to be with anyone else and I'm sorry that I said I hated you. I didn't mean it, I was just mad at you and I wanted to hurt you back."

"I know." Lena assured. "I know you were angry and scared but I promise you I'm not giving you away to anyone. I love you far too much for that. I will fight tooth and nail to keep you. I'm sorry I told Stef to take over. I said it in the heat of the moment and I will make it right. The truth is I just hate that she thinks I'm doing it wrong."

"Why? What does it matter what she thinks? She's not my mother." Callie asked, wondering why Stef's opinion mattered so much. She didn't really care what Stef thought. Yes, she was getting to know her and she maybe even liked her a little but that didn't mean she suddenly needed or wanted her approval for anything.

"I don't know how to explain it." Lena answered. "I guess it's contradictory. It's so complex and I don't want to upset you further."

"You say you want to treat me like an adult, so do it." Callie replied maturely. "And I promise that if I don't understand something then I'll talk to you about it and I won't do anything stupid."

Lena studied her daughter for a moment - she always knew that Callie was a good girl at heart and recent events were just retaliation for all the weight she'd been carrying around from the time she was just a baby. But at the same time was it fair to put this kind of responsibility on her?

"I promise." Callie emphasized again, egging Lena on. She wanted to know more of what Lena was feeling for while it wasn't easy to hear, it still made her feel just a little better that Lena also wanted her the way that she wanted Lena.

"No, she's not your mother." Lena began, not only voicing her insecurities for the very first time but also putting them into some sort of order as well. She herself had never fully explored these thoughts for fear of the outcome but now, in order to help Callie understand it, she had to work through it all herself. "I am more your mother than anyone else has ever been and that doesn't change whether you're adopted or not." Again here she paused for this was the hard part. "But she is your mother too and in some ways she will always be your mother, even more than me. She gave birth to you; it's her blood running through your veins and her genes that will define you. I know she didn't keep you and she gave up her rights to call you her daughter but that doesn't mean that she didn't love you. That's one thing I'm absolutely sure of - that she loved you then and she still does. What she did was wrong but she did it for the right reasons and that's what bonds you to her so strongly."

"Then how can you ever really be my mom, even if you do adopt me?" Callie asked, crying openly for she didn't really like what she was hearing.

This was what Lena was afraid off. She had told Callie time and time again that it didn't matter where she came from but that they were a family and nothing could change that. Adoption didn't make her any less Lena's daughter than birth could but her she was contradicting her own statements and she herself didn't fully understand it all so how could she expect a twelve-year-old to get it.

"Families come in all shapes and sizes and colors." Lena tried to explain as best she could. "The truth is that just because I adopt you doesn't make you less my child than if I had given birth to you but at the same time just because Stef gave you up doesn't mean she's not your mother. She has no legal rights and you two may never have even met but she would still be your biological mother. You would still inherit a lot from her and the fact that she loves you and tried to do the best for you means that she will always be connected to you."

It was a very grey area for both of them and Lena imagined that it was the same for all non-traditional families in the world - there was no defined line drawn that showed where relationships began and ended. Legally, yes, there were walls strategically placed to give adoptive parents more power over the biological ones but no court, no hospital, nobody in the world could change the basic DNA of the child in question.

"I worry I won't live up to all of that." Lena admitted, tears threatening to fall. "You always worried that the family you're placed with won't love you but I worry that you won't love me the same way. That you'll pick someone else. Stef wants you; I know that. If you were still in the system right now she would have taken you in a heartbeat."

"But I don't want her." Callie assured firmly. "I want you. I mean, it would have been nice to get to know her and all but she's not family. You are, no matter how annoying you are. The truth is I love it - it's normal because all the kids complain about their parents being so annoying. I finally got that for myself. I still want to get adopted even if Stef buys be a mansion that looks like barbie's dream house."

Lena had to laugh though the tears that by now could no longer be held back. She wiped them away and leaned in to give Callie a kiss on her head. "Honey, if she buys you Barbie's dream house then I know you're gonna pick me." She teased gently, so grateful to her daughter for banishing her fears.

Callie smiled back, happy that the mood was light again. "I'm serious." She assured. "Okay fine, I will still want you to adopt me even if it's you that buys me that revolting house."

"It'll be your adoption day present, I promise." Lena said. The house had no value but the promise was for the adoption day. One way or another, Lena would make sure that she adopted Callie. "I'll talk to Stef and clear this whole thing up."

* * *

Things calmed down a lot between Lena and Callie after that talk. The fact that they both were facing the same insecurities and the same struggles gave both of them an assurance that they were wanted. Callie had also learned that she was never going to be exactly like the other kids and trying so hard was just going to make things harder for herself. Several times she'd explained to Lena how she hadn't meant to hurt herself and that she genuinely did want to get better and Lena went out of her way to do little things for her to show her that in so many ways, she was just like other kids.

The only thing that had Lena worrying was that for the next two days that Callie was in hospital she had heard nothing from Stef. The woman hadn't even called the hospital itself to find out how Callie was doing and that made Lena very nervous. She imagined several scenarios where people knocked on her door and handed her official documents demanding a custody hearing and none of them ended well for Stef was a high-powered lawyer with the system on her side.

Shaking those thoughts aside Lena decided to just call Stef and clear this whole mess up. They would have a civilized conversation where they would apologize and Lena would invite her back into their lives. After making sure that Callie was in her bed and asleep she called Stef but the rock in her stomach grew a hundred times bigger when Max answered the call.


	40. Chapter 40

"I don't know what to do." Stef said, practically in tears as she sat across from Max on her hotel room couch, sipping the cup of tea he had made her. Less than forty-eight hours ago she had texted him to tell him that Callie was in hospital and that she wouldn't be able to do some research for a case and then less than twenty four hours later, when he'd called her to ask after Callie she had told him about the horrible fight that she and Lena had had. Taking the first flight out Max was now sitting with her, listening to her reiterate the events of the last two days right from the call she received from Callie's friends right up to Lena asking her to just leave them alone.

"You're not wrong." Max assured the woman he still loved. "Lena seems to be taking everything very casually. Maybe it's time that you do step up and take on more responsibility for the girl."

"That's not what I meant." Stef replied. "Lena is a great mother and I'm not looking to take Callie from her. I just wish she'd take it more seriously, that's all."

"Tell her that." Max suggested.

"No, I've said enough." Stef replied with a sigh as she rubbed her tired and exhausted eyes. "You know my temper, I don't want to say anything I will regret later. God, how could I judge her like that? She's the only one that has ever done right by Callie. Who am I to tell her she's wrong?"

"Her mother." Max pointed out. "And it looks like that girl does need some boundaries.

"I'm just going to keep my distance for a while, give them both some space till Callie's better." Stef decided. "I'll wait till Lena's ready to talk things though."

"You would make a good mom." Max observed as Stef once again took a step back to do what she felt was right for her daughter.

"Lena is everything I imagined for Callie." Stef replied. "Yes, I imagined the traditional mother and father and a white picket fence and for some reason a younger brother too but still… Lena is everything I hoped for her and she's right… where was I when Callie really needed me? Why did I wait so many years to look for her and make sure she was alright?"

The questions were rhetorical and Max knew that but he also knew the answers - Stef was getting her own life together and when she was finally stable and able to support herself without her father's help she set about finding her daughter.

"You can't change the past." Max said, trying to get Stef out of this spiral she was in. "The question is what are you doing to do from here? Are you going to walk away from them forever? Now that you know Callie is happy and safe, is that enough for you?"

"No." Stef said immediately and knew instantly that it was true. "I can't let her go. I can't lose her again." Her voice had the determination that Max usually saw when she was in a courtroom. "I'm not asking for anything legal but I still want her in my life. We finally broke down a wall yesterday and I'm not about to let anyone build it up again."

* * *

After getting most of her pent up anger and frustration out Stef calmed down enough to clear her head. She headed into the bathroom to wash her face and while she was there her phone rang on the couch. Max answered the call when he saw Lena's name flash across the screen, hoping that nothing was wrong with Callie.

"Hello." Max said. "Lena?" He confirmed when no one said a word on the other line. "I know it's you, is Callie okay?"

"What do you care?" Lena finally spoke, an unbelievable fear growing inside her at the sound of the voice that belonged to the man that put a halt to Callie's last adoption. "I don't care what you two are planning but…"

But Stef had heard Max say Lena's name and rushed out and practically grabbed the phone from Max just in time to hear Lena's rant.

"…I'm not giving up my daughter and you are not going to ruin anything for her ever again. Stef will never see Callie again and no amount of power or money can change that."

"Don't make threats you can't follow through with." Stef said in a rage, so afraid that she would never see the little girl she had loved since she herself was a child. "You have no idea what you're getting yourself into, I will see my daughter whenever I want to and nothing is going to stop me."

* * *

Lena hung up the phone and felt like she was going to throw up. She was in way over her head and she knew it. Could she really go up against a rich, high-powered lawyer and stand a chance to win? Sure, she never did anything wrong to Callie and money wasn't everything but Stef was biologically related to Callie and she was more than capable to look after her own child. Didn't the courts try to keep biological families together as much as possible and along with that wouldn't they side with one of their own?

Feeling helpless and cornered Lena calls her parents. There is no one else she can really talk to. She had a few good friends amongst the teachers at school but she couldn't risk them talking about it and having Callie overhear for amongst all these worries, the biggest was that Callie would find out.

After an hour-long conversation with Dana and Stewart they had come up with some sort of a plan. Dana was going to fly down to help with Callie so that Lena didn't have to miss any more work for she genuinely couldn't afford that, not if she was going to have to pay for lawyers on top of all Callie's medical bills that the state wouldn't cover. Stewart stayed behind to see what money he could scrounge up back home to help his daughter and granddaughter.

Lena approached a small but good law firm and explained her situation. They warned her that the case could go either way but they agreed to take in on and started on the paperwork and two days later Stef answered a knock on her door and was handed a restraining order until the court could decide who would be a better parent to Callie.


	41. Chapter 41

Stef stared at the letter in her shaking hands, rereading it for the third time just to make sure that her eyes weren't playing tricks on her. What the hell had she gone and done? She'd scared Lena to the point of taking out a restraining order against her.

"I'm going to lose her." She said to Max, her voice shaking just as much as her hands were. "She's going to cut me off completely."

"What do you want to do?" Max asked her supportively. He already had a plan and he was itching to get started but ultimately it had to be Stef's decision. She was the one that would have to live with the outcome.

Stef stared at him for a moment, obviously weighing her options - could she walk away from this and never see her baby girl again or did she want to fight for partial legal rights and risk Callie and Lena hating her forever.

"Fight." She finally answered, her tone stating that it obviously wasn't even an option. "I have to try at least." She emphasized.

"I'm on it." Max assured as he took a few steps towards Stef and pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight as he felt her entire body shake with fear. He vowed then and there that he would do everything in his power to get Stef what she wanted for he hated to see her so sad.

* * *

Through the rest of the day Max was glued to his phone and laptop as he worked hard to get a start on Stef's case. He already had several of their employees doing background checks on Callie, Lena and Lena's parents and he himself was pouring through rules and articles about parental rights and custody battles. This wasn't primarily his line of work for they mostly dealt with civil law but is father and brother were both in family law and he had heard enough from both of them to feel confidant that he could handle this well.

Stef, for the most part, was staying away from all of it for just the sight made her cry. She couldn't believe that she was in this position in the first place and as much as she wanted to just charge into Lena's home and hug Callie, she knew that no good would come from breaking the restraining order. Even now, all she wanted was to be allowed access to her daughter. She wasn't looking to take her from Lena completely but at the same time she wasn't willing to let Callie go either.

"You know that we can't fight for visitation rights, right?" Max said later that day when he brought Stef something to eat. "You have to go for partial custody at least or they won't take you seriously." He explained. Logically he knew she already knew that but right now her heart was too deeply involved to think rationally.

"I don't want to take her away from the only mother she's ever known." Stef said, hating having to go this far. "All I want is to be able to spend some time with her every few days."

"It's all or nothing babe." Max said regretfully. "We fight for full custody and worst case is you share custody. If you aim for visitation rights there's a greater risk of losing entirely. If they view you as being uncommitted and if Callie states that she doesn't want a relationship with you then they may decide that it's better for you to just keep your distance entirely. We have to show them that you're in this for the long haul and that you're willing do give it all you've got. Both of you have strong cases so we have to go in with all guns blazing."

"So if I win, can Lena still be in Callie's life?" Stef asked, wondering how this would all work if she got to take Callie home with her - and even more terrifying was if she didn't.

"If you win you can decide whatever you want." Max assured but when Stef still looked torn between her options he tried to offer some logical advice. "Look, the last time you thought that giving her away was best it turned into a nightmare. Give yourself a chance to be the best for her."

Stef stared at Max as she thought about what he'd just said. It was true, she'd never actually trusted herself to be everything that Callie needed and it clearly hadn't worked out well for either of them so why not give it a shot now?

"Okay." Stef finally agreed. "Full custody, but if we win, Lena will still have rights to see her. Legal rights, I don't want it to just be my word against hers. She's earned a place in Callie's life." She insisted, determined not to take Lena away from Callie entirely. She couldn't do that to either one of them for they both clearly loved each other more than anything else and Stef couldn't take Callie away from the only family she'd ever known; the only family she actually wanted.

* * *

Meanwhile Lena was trying hard to keep things as cheerful and routine for Callie as she could and that included keeping all of this from her. She wasn't sure that Callie could take knowing that there was now a custody battle over her and if she began to panic things could get much worse for her medically. The girl still wasn't cleared for school and with Dana down she was enjoying her time home and Lena was determined to keep it that way. It had been simple enough to justify Dana's presence by saying that Lena had to get back to work and the woman had come armed with presents - books, movies and jewelry.

Callie noticed Stef's absence but she wasn't sure if she was happy about it or not. Lena had promised that she would set things straight with Stef and make sure she knew that Lena wasn't giving Callie to her which, in Callie's mind, she had obviously followed through on but on the other hand Stef was going on Callie and she enjoyed the woman's company - her stories about her life, answers to questions Callie had that no one else could answer, little anecdotes about cases she had worked on and other such things. She definitely didn't want to live with the woman - she had a mother that she loved very much and she wasn't looking for a replacement but Stef's sudden absence in the last week were still very obvious in Callie's life. But Callie wasn't going to rock the boat. Maybe Lena had convinced her to back off and she wasn't about to change that just in case Stef did try to take her.


	42. Chapter 42

"Her father had an affair?" Stef asked in disbelief as she went through Max's investigation reports.

"Back in nineteen-ninety." Max explained. "He was having an affair with a woman who ran the provision store right next to his repair shop. It lasted about two to three months and apparently he put a stop to it himself when he realized he was making a mistake. He wife supposedly knows about it and forgave him because he ended it himself. They've been stable and happy ever since."

"Max, his infidelity does not define her parenting capabilities." Stef said in frustration. "He could have murdered someone and it still wouldn't make her a bad mother."

"It's just precaution." Max offered, his hands raised in surrender. "We're not out to ruin them but we need to have all the facts just in case we need to use them. We have a lot on her that directly affects Callie's wellbeing." He said as he handed Stef another, thicker, set of papers.

Stef went through the papers and learned that Lena was barely making ends meet with the amount of money she was earning and there was no way that she could afford a major medical situation for Callie if it ever came to that. The job she currently had just didn't pay enough and just three months before Stef found Callie, Lena had applied for a better position both in this school as well as another one but was turned down by both. Both positions would have given Lena a larger income which she obviously desperately needed.

"She has no family besides her elderly parents and no support system which means that if something ever happened to her, there was no one to look after Callie long term so what would happen to Callie then?"

"So she goes back into the system?" Stef questioned, wondering what exactly the woman had planned for Callie in case of such an event.

"There doesn't seem to be any record of her plans for the girl." Max informed. "Maybe we haven't tracked it down but besides her parents, there doesn't seem to be anyone else that's close enough to take on the responsibility. And with Callie's condition and her frequent hospital stays Lena's used up all her paid sick leave already which means that each time she stays home she earns nothing."

"So she's risking her job and her income to be there for Callie in her time of need, shouldn't that count for something?" Stef questioned, internally happy that Lena didn't put her job before Callie's needs.

"Not if it means that she can't provide for her in the long run." Max said. "If she adopts Callie then the state will no longer pay for any of her treatment and she will also lose the income she gets for just fostering her. If she loses her job, or even misses a few weeks, it means she has barely any income at all."

Shaking her head at how frustrating this whole thing was, Stef went back to reading and learned that Lena was once in a very serious relationship for seven years with a woman named Gretchen who asked her to marry her but then, without any warning, Lena just up and left, stating that Gretchen's free-spirit lifestyle was not one that she wanted.

"Who says that one day she won't decide this isn't the life she wants?" Max explained his argument to Stef. "We don't want that to happen to Callie too."

"I honestly don't see that happening." Stef said confidently as she looked Max straight in the eye.

"I'm sure Gretchen didn't see it happening either." Max rebutted. "And they were together for seven years. Callie has only been with Lena two and a half years now. Besides, she willingly comes to you when she needs something so she obviously feels a connection to you."

"Max, come on, she came to me to go shopping." Stef rolled her eyes. "She wasn't exactly looking for a nutritious meal."

"Stef, if we want to win this, we have to use all we've got." Max said. "We're not going to play dirty but we are going to use the facts. Now, I promise not to use anything that doesn't directly affect Callie's wellbeing, like Stewart's affair, but I will do what I need to to win this case." He gently pulled the papers out of Stef's hands and ushered her away from the dining table. "You're too close to this case, so you need to step back and let me do my job."

* * *

On Saturday, Lena was busy making lunch while Callie and Dana were playing a game of Scrabble at the kitchen table.

"Colors isn't spelled with a 'U' grandma." Callie said as Dana began calculating her seven letter word that ended on a triple word score.

"It is in England." Dana responded, matter-of-factly.

"We're not in England." Callie pointed out.

Dana seemed to ignore her as she began totaling her score. "That's thirty-three for colours, plus sixteen for pricks, that's forty-nine, and fifty for using all seven tiles, that's a total of ninety-nine points." She added triumphantly as she grabbed the tile-bag to refill her rack. "Doesn't mean it's not a word in the English Language." Dana finished, obviously having considered Callie's argument.

"Mom, can she do that? Is it legal?" Callie asked her mother who was watching in amusement to see who would win the argument.

"I don't see why not." Lena said. "It is an English word and it's correctly spelled. I would allow it."

Callie pouted good-naturedly. "You're supposed to be on my side." She grumbled as she wrote down Dana's score. "Now she's so far ahead of me, I can't even try to catch up."

"It's not about winning or losing…" Lena began as she walked up to the table to have a look at their scores.

"…It's about how you play the game, I know." Callie finished with her, having heard Lena tell her that more times than she could count.

Lena tousled Callie's hair affectionately and leaned down to kiss her just as the doorbell rang. "Don't give up baby, that's the only time you're a loser." Lena called out as she walked to the door to answer it.

* * *

A few minutes had passed and Lena didn't return to the kitchen Dana and Callie went to see who had arrived. Seeing Lena looking as white as a sheet with an open letter in her hands she quickly instructed Callie to go to her room and wait for them.

"But, what is it?" Callie asked curiously.

"GO." Dana demanded as she took the letter from Lena and guided her to the kitchen. "Do as you're told young lady."

Once Callie was done and Lena was sitting down Dana skimmed over the paper, immediately understanding that it was a copy of Stef's request to the state to gain full custody of her daughter.

"I'll never win." Lena said in complete fear. "What chance do I have? Foster and Scott and one of the best and most powerful firms in the state and what Judge won't side with them?"

"You don't know that for sure." Dana tried to reassure Lena as she quickly grabbed her a glass of water.

"She's her biological mother, mom." Lena reminded her, not that it was necessary. "She has no record that would deem her an unfit mother and she is certainly wealthy enough to afford whatever medical needs that Callie may ever need."

"She did give up her baby once, I'm sure that will count for something." Dana offered, understanding Lena's worries, for it all did seem to be in Stef's favor.

"But for a teenage mother who couldn't give her child what she deserved, wouldn't that be considered a good choice?" Lena asked. All these months she'd been trying to explain that very fact to Callie so wouldn't a Judge see it the same way as well?

"I don't know baby." Dana answered honestly as she reread the letter, hoping that they'd gotten it wrong. "But one thing I do know is that we are not giving up without a fight and your father and I are here for you every step of the way." She said, hugging Lena and holding her close. "We will do whatever we have to to get you what you need to keep your daughter."

"Thanks mom." Lena said, as she wiped her wet eyes and tried to regain her composure.

"We love you baby." Dana ended. "We love you both so much."

Both women pulled apart quickly when they heard Callie open her bedroom door and come down the hall.

"What's going on?" The girl asked worriedly, noticing her mother's puffy eyes despite Lena's efforts to dry them. "Who was it?" She asked.

"Someone back home passed away darling." Dana quickly came up with an appropriate lie for there was absolutely no need to get Callie all worked up over this just yet.

Lena nodded, grateful for her mother's quick thinking. "She was my best friend growing up." She added. "She was in an accident."

Callie walked up to her mother and Dana quickly put the letter into Lena's handbag before Callie could get her hands on it.

"I'm so sorry mom." Callie said sincerely as she hugged her mother tight. "I love you."

But all that did was cause Lena to start crying again for she couldn't imagine not having this sweet and loving girl with her for the rest of her life. Luckily for her, Callie only assumed that Lena was crying over her friends death.


	43. Chapter 43

Stef stared out the window of her twenty-seventh floor three-bedroom apartment in San Francisco but the view of the busy city down below and the beach farther out did not have the same effect on her as it did just a year ago. She didn't want to be here; this was no longer home. Her home wasn't a single place anymore but instead it was a person, a family actually and wherever they were, that's where Stef wanted to be.

The only reason she was even here now was so that she didn't give in and break her restraining order for she knew that no good would come of that. Often she wanted to just call Lena and clear this whole mess up, chalk it all up to a giant misunderstanding and go back to the way things were but each time she picked up the phone she would hear Lena's voice, threatening that she would never see Callie again and that was enough to keep Stef going.

She knew that Callie would hate her and she knew that it would be more difficult than ever to get the girl to accept her but her one consolation was that she had no intentions of ever taking Lena out of the picture. No matter how messy things got, no matter where their lives took them, Lena was going to be a protagonist in Callie's life and she hoped that that would be enough to prove to Callie that she did love her.

But it still did nothing to settle her constantly uneasy stomach for no matter what the outcome, someone was going to get hurt. For years now, Stef had been fighting - it was after all, her job, but for the first time Stef understood what it meant to be on the other side - the side that actually had something to lose besides money. She'd always seen these fights as a victory - her company and her income depended on them but just this once she wished for a happy ending where nobody lost, everybody was happy and they all went home with a smile on their faces. That image made her smile for she was picturing all three of them walking into the same home, living the life of a happy family. She'd tried to hide it, tried to ignore it but the truth was that she didn't just want Callie, she wanted Lena too and her aversion to men had nothing to do with the trauma from her first sexual experience but simply because she was looking in the wrong place. Now, when she'd finally found it, she was going to lose it all and there was nothing she could do to stop it for if she won then Lena would hate her forever and if she just walked away then she would never see either of them ever again.

* * *

"They're going to hate me for sure." Callie complained, miserably as she put her breakfast plate in the sink on Sunday morning. "That's the second time in a month I got them all in trouble."

"Honey, they only got into trouble because they were doing something wrong." Dana pointed out. "Besides, I hope that teaches you no to be in a place that gets you in trouble in the first place."

"I won't, believe me." Callie promised. "I tried it twice and failed miserably both times. I just wanted to have a little fun."

"I know you do baby." Dana gave her a squeeze. "I know things seem to just go downhill sometimes, you just have to trust that the people around you will be there to help pull you out."

Unknown to Callie, Dana was preparing her for whatever might be coming their way. She wanted the girl to know that no matter what happened in court that Lena, herself and Stewart would always be there to fight for her and help her through.

"What do you think they'll say?" Callie asked, swallowing the pill that was sitting by her water glass. "If they even talk to me that is." She clarified.

"To stay away from them and their troublesome ways." Dana gently teased.

"That's what I'm afraid of." Callie replied just as Lena made an appearance in the kitchen. She's spent half the night awake and worrying about the battle that she ended up sleeping in an extra hour and a half.

"Afraid of what?" Lena asked in concern, wondering if Callie knew anything at all.

"The mob, out on a witch hunt, hoping to burn me at the stake." Callie informed her dramatically.

Lena gave Dana a very perplexed look, wondering what in the world her daughter was talking about, for that was overdramatic even for a custody battle.

"Classmates." Dana cleared it all up for her daughter.

"Right." Lena said, realizing that tomorrow, Monday, would be Callie's first day back since the accident. "I can't speak for all of them but when Karen called to find out how you were doing she did mention that Zoey was very worried about you."

"That was when she thought I was drying." Callie replied miserably. "Now that I'm fine she'll probably want to kill me herself."

"I'm sure it's not that bad." Lena offered, though in all honesty, she did wonder what the other kids would have to say to her.

"It's going to be just fine, give it a few days and everyone will forget everything." Dana said. "Now, it's time for a shower, then I'm heading out for a bit, there's something I need to do." With that she headed into the bathroom leaving Lena and Callie alone.

"Can we have ice-cream after lunch, since this is going to be my last day on earth?" Callie asked her mother as Lena grabbed some eggs to make herself an omelette.

"They're not going to kill you." Lena said exasperatedly. "But I will if you don't get a move on that homework I brought back for you. It's due tomorrow and you can bet your ass you're gonna hand it in on time."

"Okay, okay." Callie raised her hands in surrender as she got up to take the worksheets and books out from Lena's oversized handbag. Everyday Lena had been bringing Callie's homework back for her so that she didn't fall too far behind in school and after the last un-submitted assignment, she'd been very firm about Callie finishing all her work. Callie, for her part, did it all without any fuss and today was going to be no exception. She set all the work down and began rummaging through the pile, rummaging for what looked the easiest. Little did she know that she was about to uncover a sheet that could possibly change her entire life.


	44. Chapter 44

When Lena turned around with her omelette, ready to sit at the table and eat, she was shocked to find Callie struggling to breathe. The girl was clammy and white as a sheet, starring back at Lena with wide, terrified eyes.

"Honey, what happened?" Lena asked worriedly as she dumped her untouched plate on the counter and rushed to her daughter. "Did you take your medication this morning?" Lena asked, wondering if between her mother and daughter they'd forgotten.

But when Callie was unable to even give her a response Lena grabbed her a glass of water and instructed her to sip it as she quickly rushed to the bathroom.

"Mom, MOM." She practically yelled, barging into the bathroom as Dana stuck her head out of the shower curtain. "Did Callie take her medication?" Lena asked in a panic.

"Yes." Dana answered, a little bewildered. 'What's wrong?" She asked.

"I'm not sure, Callie can't breathe." Lena explained as she rushed back to her daughter.

Callie was still struggling for air and the glass of water she'd previously been given was now tipped over on the table, leaving all the papers and books beneath it a wet, soggy mess.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Lena questioned in more of a panic when Callie clearly wasn't responding to her regular methods of calming her heart.

"Callie?" Dana asked, now joining them in the kitchen, in a robe and a towel around her wet hair. "Have you called the doctor?" She asked her daughter as she refilled the glass and tried to help Callie take a sip.

"I'll do it now, stay with her." Lena instructed as she rushed off to her room to get her phone.

Dana stayed with Callie and managed to get two sips of water into her but the girl was still palpitating and practically shaking as well. "Baby, just breath." Dana cooed soothingly, trying to calm Callie down as much as she could. She rubbed the girls back rhythmically and held her close in an attempt to pass on all the love and comfort she could. The two sat like that for a few seconds and only then did Dana notice the official document lying face up on the floor beneath Callie's chair.

"He said to take her straight to the hospital." Lena announced as she barged back into the room, already grabbing everything they would need.

"Honey." Dana stopped her for a moment. "Look." She said, pointing under the chair.

"Oh honey." Lena said in defeat when she realized what had caused her daughter's sudden relapse. "Baby, it's not going to happen." She tried to assure, but it was too late for Callie was already too far gone and only a doctor could help her now.

* * *

"I told you no good would come from any of this." Frank Foster said to his daughter. Her parents had hardly seen her since she'd first found Callie and the fact that she was back home while Max was still in San Diego caused them to do some digging. "You should have just left it alone." He continued. "She is not your daughter and you had no business looking for her. You're ruining her life, your life and soon we will all be dragged through this mess once again. Just give up and move on. You have a man that loves you and is waiting patiently for you. Be grateful for what you have instead of always focusing on your mistakes."

By now Stef was crying silently; tiny tears escaped her eyes despite her attempts to hold them in. She couldn't help it for hearing her father talk about Callie as a mistake was just too much for her already aching heart to bear. Callie never was and would never be a mistake. The only mistake ever made was Stef, listening to her father and giving her away instead of fighting to keep her.

"Max is a good man and he wants to marry you so why don't you just grow up and accept his proposal." Frank continued. "It's high time you took your responsibilities seriously instead of constantly chasing fantasies."

Stef turned towards her mother at this point, wondering if her mother truly felt the same as her father or if she was simply too timid to stand up to him. Stef had learned a long time ago that her father was very set in his ways and in most cases she'd learned to just accept that they would never see eye to eye but this particular subject was a sore spot for her and she still felt like a terrified fifteen-year-old as he towered over her, lecturing her about her life choices.

"You're twenty nine years old now, it's high time you married and settled down. Soon you'll have your own children and you'll forget all about that oth…" But he was interrupted by Stef's cellphone ringing.

Stef pulled out her phone with the intention of silencing it but when she saw Max's name flash across the screen she answered the call for right now, he only called when something was important.

As she listens to Max tell her that Callie had been taken back to hospital about four hours earlier and that she seemed to be in really bad condition Stef felt her heart drop to her stomach in a fear she'd knew she'd never get accustomed to no matter how many times she felt it. She listened as Max gave her whatever details he knew and informed her of the ticket he was arranging for her to get her back to San Diego as fast as possible. Stef, by now, was already on her feet and gathering her bag and car keys, ready to leave.

"Where are you going?" Frank questioned, clearly having not dismissed his daughter just yet. "We aren't done here."

"Yes, we are." Stef finally stood up to her father, her priorities finally set straight. "I'm done and now I'm going to find out what's wrong with my child - you know, the one that is actually mine and that already exists."

* * *

It had been five hours since Stef first heard of Callie's return to hospital. Max had called her constantly, letting her know that he had a tail on Callie from when Lena first handed them the restraining order and that's how he found out that she was back in hospital. She'd tried Lena twice but neither time did the woman answer and she wasn't sure if it was because Lena was avoiding her or because she was just so busy with Callie. Max had very few details about Callie's prognosis for legally they had no rights to information but she did know that Callie was in surgery.

When Stef finally landed in San Diego she once again tried Lena but again the phone just rang and rang until it went to voicemail. Then with a determination and a fear greater than any restraining order, Stef headed to the hospital - she'd deal with the consequences later.

It was dark by the time Stef reached the hospital and she asked for Callie Jacob, learning that Callie was only recently wheeled back to her room after surgery. She headed in that direction but slowed down slightly when she saw Lena talking to Stewart. Lena hadn't noticed Stef yet and so Stef moved a few steps further, just close enough to overhear their conversation.

"I didn't know mom hid it in my bag and I had Callie's homework in there. She was so worked up she couldn't breathe and her heart was overworked. They said surgery was the only option. I tried to hide it from her but maybe I should have just been honest." Lena was saying with tears in her eyes regret in her voice.

"It's not your fault honey." Stewart said supportively as he wiped his daughters tears and gave her a hug. "You didn't ask for this and you did what you had to do to protect your daughter."

"But look at her now? She had heart surgery and she can't handle a custody battle right now. If they take her away from her home what's going to happen to her?"

"Let's just focus on getting her better right now, you take a minute and pull yourself together, I'm going to see my granddaughter now." Stewart instructed, giving Lena a moment to gather herself before Callie saw her in this state.

Lena nodded and watched her father disappear into Callie's room. She turned around to head towards the restroom to wash her face but spotted Stef standing there and all that anger and hatred was ready to pour out.

"HOW DARE YOU COME HERE!" Lena began in anger. "Haven't you done enough already? You broke her by trying to take her from her family."

But Stef took a step back raised her hands up in defeat just as Lena began her rant. This was definitely not what she ever wanted and she could see now that she was doing more damage than she ever imagined. Callie didn't belong with her and more importantly she didn't want to be with her. Lena was right - the girl would break if Stef kept pushing.

"Maybe she was right." Lena continued in anger. "You are just out to hurt her any way you can, right from the day she was born."

"That's not true." Stef said, her own lip quivering. "I love her."

"This isn't love." Lena spat, still taking offensive steps towards Stef as Stef backed away.

"All I want is for her to be safe and happy." Stef said honestly.

"Then leave." Lena stated, knowing it was the only answer to their problems. "Just go."

"Okay. "Stef agreed, finally lowering her arms as she too began to cry. "I'll go and you won't ever see or hear from me again."

"Good." Lena said, feeling no remorse whatsoever, as her tears finally stopped. "It's about time."

"Just take care of her." Stef whispered, the last request she could make for her daughter. With one final glance past Lena towards the door that Stewart had gone through Stef turned around and walked away and anyone she passed would have assumed that a loved on had passed away by the way she was crying as she left.


	45. Chapter 45

Weeks passed and Callie was finally cleared to go home. Her heart was once again functioning as well as could be expected but the doctor had given her several warnings - no tricks or stunts - no drinking, smoking, drugs; no sports, swimming and no staying out in the sun too long. Apart from that she was given a special inhaler in case she ever had another episode that did not respond to the regular methods of calming her heart down.

By now, between the two recent episodes, Callie had not attended school for almost two months and there was a good chance that she was not going to catch up in time to move up with her class. This upset Callie greatly for it was hard enough for her to make friends and she'd moved around so much her first ten years that it felt like she had to make new friends all over again. Besides that, she definitely didn't want to be the only kid in her class older than everyone else. She stood out enough as it was and she didn't need another reason to be different.

Ironically, it was Callie's attempts at being 'just like everyone else' that was adding to her differences and that did nothing to brighten her mood. Watching movies all day was no longer fun and she just couldn't bear to read another book and as nervous as she was about going back to school, she was also looking forward to the coming Monday for she could finally get out of the house and back to her regular life. Dana was also going to leave on Monday morning, leaving Callie and Lena alone again after five weeks. Callie hadn't heard anything from Stef either but Lena had promised that she'd backed off and that the custody battle was over - no one was taking her away. They had once again submitted the adoption papers and the procedure was in the works which was a huge weight lifted off of Callie's healing heart.

* * *

Callie's first day back was almost like entering a whole new school altogether; everyone had moved on and while no one was outright rude to her, they all seemed to just avoid her - Both Amelia and Gracie had had birthday parties that Callie had missed out on; Toby was now dating Michelle and worst of all, the hot topic amongst the girls was puberty for one after another the girls were getting their period or going shopping for bras while Callie still looked like she belonged back in elementary school.

'Okay, so next sleepover, whoever falls asleep first gets their bra put in the freezer." Amelia said with a laugh as all eyes turned to Gracie, the girl who always falls asleep early.

"At least mine's the fancy type." Gracie rebutted. She was the only one with an older sister that took her shopping. The others were all taken by their mothers who insisted on the cheaper, more practical undergarment.

"True." Zoey agreed. "Hey, ask your sister if she'll take us all shopping one day."

From there the conversation moved on to a massive shopping spree that Callie knew she'd never get through. She could barely make it through a day of school without feeling exhausted so there was no way she could spend hours wandering around the mall and trying on outfit after outfit.

* * *

"But what does my heart have to do with getting my period?" Callie asked Lena miserably. The two had gotten even closer over the last few weeks with the scare of Stef getting custody of Callie making them both realize just how important the other was in their lives. They had really talked about how they felt about their little family and all doubts and concerns had been laid to rest.

Callie had learned that no matter how much she wished or hoped or prayed, she was never going to be just like everyone else, not in the way that she wanted to be but she also learned that people loved her for who she was. It became clear to her that her family would stick by her no matter what happened and that was a lesson that she desperately needed to learn. Lena, for her part, agreed to take a step back. She did not promise to stop constantly worrying about Callie but she did agree to give Callie a chance provided the younger girl agreed to listen to her own body and follow it's cues about what it could and couldn't handle. Both of them were learning to understand and accept the others point of view and both had learned not to take the other for granted.

"Honey, ever since you were a little girl your body has been through a lot." Lena began to explain. "It's always had to work extra hard to make up for what it lacks. Apart from that all the stress you faced and the changes in your medications and treatments, the emotional and psychological stress from all that and from being a foster child, all that plays a part in how your body functions and for some people it means an early puberty while for others it may be late."

"Great, so again I'm screwed." Callie mumbled, realizing that once again her experiences were different simply because she was a foster child with a bad heart.

"Look, we'll set up an appointment with my OBGYN and she can give us a clearer picture of what's going on." Lena offered. "You're still young so we can't just assume you're going to be late. Most girls get it around your age." What she didn't say was that she too was a bit concerned - not because Callie was possibly late but because what if all those same experiences did in fact hamper Callie's development and her ability to have children. Like she had mentioned, they were still in the early stages and everything may still sort itself out on its own but it didn't hurt to get a jump on things either.

"Ew." Callie crinkled her nose up at the idea of someone poking and prodding her in the most private of places.

"Well whether or not you have your period, it's time." Lena stated. "Most girls start out at this age and there all embarrassed by it but I promise you there's nothing to be afraid of and I will be with you the entire time.


	46. Chapter 46

"That was so humiliating!" Callie grumbled as she and Lena got back into the car after her appointment with Lena's gynecologist. "I can't believe you get this done every month."

"Not every month." Lena laughed at Callie's disgust. "But it is important and you will have to get regular checkups too." She warned. "Besides, it's no different than going to any other doctor. You take your shirt off for your heart appointments all the time."

"But he's not sitting there focused on my boobs." Callie explained, not that she really had anything more than mosquito bites just yet. "She was down their studying it like she had to give an exam on it or something.

"She's just making sure that everything is okay." Lena reminded Callie. "And now we know that nothing seems to be wrong, it's just a matter of waiting for you to go through puberty."

"Unless I still don't get it in another year." Callie stated, knowing that she wasn't completely in the clear yet.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Lena assured, not willing to give Callie anything more to worry about. "She said it all looks good."

"Gross." Callie mumbled, picturing the doctor staring at her naked genitalia and then commenting on it looking good.

Lena just laughed as she started the car and drove home, happy that her daughter seemed to be just as normal as she kept wishing to be. She could remember her own first appointments at the OBGYN and feeling just as awkward and embarrassed to be that exposed in front of a complete stranger.

* * *

And from there on things genuinely seemed to fall into place for Callie. She had come to terms with the fact that she would not be moving to the eight grade with the rest of her class, and once she stopped trying to keep up in order to avoid repeating the year she, both physically and mentally, began to relax. The kids at school first avoided her, then they teased her but as the weeks wore on they all got over it and things went back to the way they were with the exception of inviting Callie to any underground activity which both Lena and Callie were grateful for.

Callie was back to being her usual self that she had been just a year ago and all the dust seemed to have settled. Her heart was doing okay, her dizzy and breathless spells were few and far between and she hadn't used the emergency inhaler even once. If someone had ever asked her, Callie would admit that she was finally truly happy despite not yet being adopted.

And once things settled for Callie, they settled for Lena as well. Callie's days of experimenting and trying so hard to fit in seemed to be behind them, for the moment at least, and Lena desperately needed the break. Things had been financially tight for a while but they were slowly replenishing their savings. Dana and Stewart had helped out as much as they could but thankfully, with the custody battle being dropped, they had not made a major dent in their own savings. So for the most part Lena too was happy and content and only occasionally, when she noticed Callie fidget nervously with her finger nail or when the young girl complained that the hot sauce - that was practically making Lena's tongue burn - wasn't spicy enough, did she think of the woman who had created the beautiful girl that she called her daughter.

* * *

But while things were falling into place for Lena and Callie, they were falling apart for Stef for the woman never even imagined the size of the hole in her heart that only Callie could fill. The first time she'd given Callie up it had hurt her unimaginably but she didn't know that baby, she hadn't bonded with her and most of all she knew she couldn't give her what she deserved. Then when she'd first found Callie and agreed to walk away it was because Callie didn't want or need her and again she was doing the right thing. But now she did know Callie and she had fallen even more in love with her if that was at all possible and even though it was just for a moment; even though it was under extreme circumstances, Callie had reached out to Stef and that's what made walking away so much harder this time around.

She had barely eaten and lost over twenty pounds in under two months; puffy, tired eyes were now a regular feature and the only reason that she even bothered to get up in every morning was work, not that she was doing such a fantastic job their either. She was constantly distracted, often forgetting tasks that she needed to get done. Instead her mind would wonder to the two most important people, unfortunately not in her life. She wondered how Callie was doing and if she was getting better and if Lena was managing shouldering all that while still staying strong for Callie. She hoped that both of them were happy and taking care of each other since she wasn't able to take care of either of them the way that she wanted. She had firmly instructed Max to stop keeping tabs on either of them hoping that a clean break would make it just a little bit easier to handle and if the man was still keeping an eye on them then thankfully he was keeping the information to himself.

But things really began to decline when Stef almost lost an easy but important case simply because she couldn't get her facts straight. She was standing up in court in front of over fifty people including the judge and prosecutor and stated that her client, the company's accountant, had taken a large sum money from a company without their employer's knowledge or consent when what she actually meant was that her client had taken the money accidentally when he messed up the list of bank transfers. That was when Max stepped up and took over, forcing Stef to take a back seat.


	47. Chapter 47

"I'm sorry." Max said the following morning when Stef walked into her kitchen after waking up much later than usual. Max had basically been staying in Stef's guest bedroom from the time she moved back to San Francisco in an attempt to keep an eye on her. It was clear that she wasn't eating and not even sleeping well and Max felt somewhat responsible for all of this. "I shouldn't have pushed you. You're always telling me everything isn't a battle to win and I should have listened."

"No, it's not your fault." Stef said tiredly as she gratefully took the cup of coffee he offered her. "I asked you to do this. I wanted to win. I wanted so much to take Callie home with me."

"I'm not so sure about that." Max replied. "You wanted to try and make amends, I suggested you give yourself a chance to be her mother."

"But I signed the papers." Stef replied, refusing to let her friend take the fall for something she made a mess of. "I submitted those custody papers."

A silence fell over them as they each sipped their coffee but both were clearly still thinking hard about the events of the last month.

"The thing is, even if I did win, I still would have lost." Stef spoke up again, hating the predicament she was currently in. "Callie never wanted to be with me and if I did get custody she would never have forgiven me and neither would Lena. She wants and needs her, not me. I'm not her mother. I was hoping I could make amends but I think that giving her up for adoption is not something I can be forgiven for. She deserves a chance at a regular life without me holding her back any longer."

Max just remained silent as he listened to Stef let go of all the feelings she'd been holding in for so long. He didn't want to say anything because nothing was going to magically fix all this.

"Lena said that the reason she supported me right from the beginning was so that Callie could learn to forgive me and let go of all the anger she'd been holding on to all these years but now I think that maybe this is what will give her that chance - she met me, she got the answers she was looking for and then she let me go. She got her closure."

"But was it closure for you?" Max asked, unwilling to let Stef forget about herself in all of this. She was the only one that came out of it broken and hurting.

"No." Stef admitted as a sob escaped her. "It's just as painful as the last time. I wish I'd never let my father talk me into giving her up; it's the biggest regret of my life." She admitted and broke down moments after. She couldn't hold it all in anymore and she couldn't do anything to make it right. The best she could now do was let go and give her baby a chance at true happiness.

Max felt like crying himself as he watched the strongest person he knew fall apart right in front of him. Without a second thought he walked around the table and hugged Stef, holding her tenderly as she cried. He had no words to make things better; no solution to her problem but he did have a shoulder for her to cry on and arms to hold her up as she crumbled.

* * *

"What about summer school?" Callie asked one day when she was doing homework, still trying to catch up with all she'd missed, hoping to find some way to continue on with her class. "Can't I get enough credit to finish the year?" The idea of repeating the year still didn't sit well with her although apart from that everything else in her life seemed to finally be settling well.

"Honey, summer is just a month away." Lena pointed out. "You're not going to be strong enough to handle the extra stress and activity. You know what the doctor said, you still need to take things easy. Even now you barely make it through the school day without feeling exhausted and these two months are just what you need to rebuild your strength."

"So I'm flunking no matter what. Is this ever going to end?" Callie asked rhetorically. She constantly felt defeated and more than that she was beginning to give up as well. She didn't have much fight left in her for life just kept tearing her down. She never knew when the next curve ball would be thrown at her. Even when things seemed to finally be settling down, she still felt like she was walking on thin ice for that's just the way life was for her.

"Sweetheart, I know it's frustrating and I know you're tired, I do know that and I admire you so much for not giving up." Lena said encouragingly. She could see the increasingly defeated look on Callie's face and that honestly worried her for how much more could the girl take before she gave up entirely or did something too drastic. "But baby, this isn't a bad thing. I know you're angry and embarrassed about having to repeat the year but sweetheart you aren't flunking. People understand that this didn't happen because you're not smart enough or because you didn't work hard enough. You have a condition that resulted in you missing a large chunk of school. This doesn't make you a failure, it's just a chance for you to catch up."

"Even if that's all true, it still means that a year of my life is wasted." Callie complained.

"Nothing is wasted." Lena replied firmly. She never wanted Callie to think that any part of her life wasn't worth something. The child was far too young to believe she had no purpose and Lena was going to do everything possible to make sure that she never reached that point. "Look at it this way, you already know a huge chuck of this years material and you've done most of the assignments as well. Your teachers may make you make a few changes to better the work but for the most part it's already done. You'll have a lot of free time to do other things you enjoy."

"I guess." Callie agreed skeptically. It did sound nice to have only half the amount of homework to do and to already understand most of it as well but that wasn't really enough to make the thought of failing worthwhile. "It still sucks." She decided as she sighed. "Besides, it's not like you're gonna let me lay on the couch all day and watch TV. You'll find something or the other for me to do." She added only partially teasingly. The truth was she wouldn't put it past Lena to start her working on eight grade work, claiming that it would put her ahead of her class next year as well.


	48. Chapter 48

Several months passed and just as they say… time heals all wounds. Callie's surgery scar was now completely healed and looked just like one of the many other pink caterpillars on her chest; things at school had also settled well for her and all the drama she'd caused was now practically forgotten. She'd still hung out with the kids that proved to be true friends and made some new friends in kids she was helping Lena tutor. But instead of trying so hard to fit in she now took pride in the things that made her stand out. She became the first photographer for the school newspaper, converting it from text only to one filled with pictures and color. And from behind the lens she also learned that everything wasn't always as it seemed - lines of fatigue and stress showed up in pictures of Lena's face that Callie had never paid attention to before; a school-wide family picnic showed Callie just how many parents were basically absent from their kids lives despite having the picture perfect life and a picture of some little children playing together in a park on the upscale side of town proved to her just how unimportant appearances truly were for there was a boy playing with his bagful of sand toys sharing them with an unbathed, dirt-streaked little girl who had come with absolutely nothing. Her adoption had still not come through for reasons she could no longer keep track of but even that didn't seem to bring her down anymore for one thing she did learn was that no matter what, her family was going to stick by her whether she had their name or not.

Lena finally had her savings back up to a satisfactory level; enough to actually splurge on a better car and even a trip back to Kansas to visit her parents - something the state had never given them permission to do before. She also got a small but decent raise in her salary and she applied for yet another promotion - heading the elementary section of the school and while she hadn't heard back yet, she was fairly confident that she would get the position. She did begin to feel a certain emptiness however - like her life was missing something important; something that was suddenly missing and she wondered if it was the constant worry she felt over Callie. Now that the girl seemed to have settled down, a lot of Lena's stress had eased and while that was a great and very welcome thing, it still took up a huge chunk of the past year. But still Lena seemed to me missing something and so she decided to spend some of her time helping kids who were falling behind. She began a tutoring session after school on weekdays and even roped Callie into helping her a bit. It gave the girl a boost knowing that she was doing something good; it kept them both busy and it increased her income, though only slightly. For Callie it was not a very strenuous activity, it kept her from sitting in front of the TV all day and it kept her mind occupied which was also a plus in Lena's books.

Even Stef's wounds were healing slowly but surely. It hadn't been an easy ride for her at all - in fact, she practically hit rock bottom when a judge threw out her case for being completely unprepared and disorganized in his courtroom. The company had ended up paying the client the amount they were asking the opponents for and Max had then put his foot down and forced Stef to take an indefinite leave of absence until she got her life back on track. That wasn't to say that he wasn't still there for her in every possible way. He'd spent nights with her as she just cried and practically forced her to eat at each meal. He would try to distract her any way that he could but she was so broken and in so much pain that even he could only do so much. But with time things definitely did get better. Stef would sometimes go the whole day without crying even though she would often think of Callie. Max would slide documents for her to read or give her some research to help distract her and slowly she began to take an interest in her work again. Her appetite returned as did her smile and while her daughter wasn't ever forgotten, and was definitely still missed, Stef learned to go on. Now, six months later she was back in the courtroom more determined than ever not to fail any client ever again.

So for a while things genuinely seemed to fall back into a happy rhythm. That is, until the day that Callie collapsed after climbing a flight of stairs from one class to another.

"Oh. My. God. Someone get Ms. Adams immediately." Callie's math teacher instructed as she rushed to the girl's side. Callie was thankfully conscious but she seemed to be struggling to breathe and she was as white as a sheet.

"Inhaler." She managed to say, gasping between each syllable, feeling like she was drowning all over again only this time out on dry land.

Digging through her bag a student quickly handed Callie the inhaler and the teacher helped her take a puff and then a second and watched as Callie slowly began to breathe a little easier and some color returned to her face though she didn't look like she had much energy for anything.

"Lie down sweetheart." The teacher said comfortingly, trying to keep the child calm and relaxed until her mother got there to take over. "Someone get her some water please." The teacher once again instructed and watched at least four kids disappear at lightening speed.

"What happened?" Lena asked rounding a corner to find a small group of children gathered around what she assumed was her daughter. "Can everyone take a few steps back please." She said firmly as she kneeled down next to her colleague.

"Callie just collapsed and couldn't breathe." The teacher explained. "She had two puffs of her inhaler and finally began to calm down. We've been lying here since."

"Sweetheart." Lena said worriedly as Callie reached for her hand, fear and regret written all over her face. This time they had both secretly thought that everything was going to be fine. "Are you feeling better?" She asked.

Callie nodded as a single tear rolled down the side of her face and she sighed in defeat. Once again she seemed to be at the top of the roller coaster and she had no idea what kind of twists and turns were ahead of her.

"Let's get you to the car and back to the doctor okay." Lena suggested as the two adults carefully helped Callie to her feet and then out to the car where they were once again headed back to the hospital where Callie had hoped never to see again.


	49. Chapter 49

Lena sat staring at the doctor in complete shock. She could barely register the words that he was saying. She knew that this day would eventually come and in theory she was prepared for it but now that it was here she was at a loss for what to do.

"Why can't they do another surgery?" Lena asked, trying to make sense of it all. She knew she'd asked this question already, possibly twice, but her mind was such a fog that she couldn't remember the answer.

"It's too weak." The doctor replied sympathetically. "It can't handle further surgery, besides the surgeries are obviously not working well anymore. They're needed more regularly rather than prolonging the time between them."

Lena was thankful that Callie had been taken for tests for she needed time to come to terms with all this before putting on a brave face for her daughter. This was terrifying for Lena so she couldn't imagine what Callie would feel, having to go though it all first hand.

"So now she's on the transplant list?" Lena clarified, knowing that he'd already mentioned that before.

"She is but it's a waiting game." The doctor explained. "She's not at immediate risk so she doesn't get a priority but she's young and otherwise healthy so when the time comes, her chances of a heart are good."

"If she gets one in time." Lena stated terrified before her face filled with remorse. "God, look at me, hoping that someone dies so that my baby can live." She said more to herself than the doctor. This was definitely not a position she'd ever imagined herself in and she wasn't sure how she felt about it for as much as she wanted Callie to live, she didn't want someone else to die either, especially a young child whose mother would grieve the same way that she would.

"A lot of people feel the same way and we do have support groups for both you and Callie, I'll have the nurse bring in the information. Try not to think of it as a bad thing. The donors won't make it either way and their passing give between fifteen and thirty people a chance at a better life. Organ donation is a very generous act and it does give the families a sense of piece knowing that their loved ones did something for others even in death. It's a way to keep them alive longer." He gave Lena a moment then, knowing that this was such a torturous reality. "You both have time to understand and accept this before surgery is a requirement so for now just make sure she rests, take things easy and takes the new medication I prescribed her. Let her go to school if she wants to but make sure she doesn't overdo anything. Keep her inhaler close by and come in for weekly checks and if anything seems off, bring her in immediately. I don't want to alarm you but be can't afford to miss our transplant window either so no matter the time or how small it seems, if something seems wrong, get her here.

* * *

"Am I dying?" Callie asked later that evening. She'd been given an explanation about what was to happen from both her doctor and her mother but still she couldn't quite understand it all. She was very sick now, she knew that and the next step was a transplant, she understood that too but what she couldn't quite get was how she was sick enough to need a transplant but not sick enough to actually get one.

"No." Lena said firmly. "You are not dying." She clarified. "Your own heart is still working and as long as it does, that's the one you will use. It's safer for you and those that are more desperate than you get the hearts available now. Once your heart really reaches it's end, that's when you'll get a new one."

"It sounds like when we went to buy a new car." Callie mumbled with a shake of her head. "We waited until ours was really giving up the ghost before we got a new one."

"Baby, this is not something they take lightly." Lena tried to explain as best she could. "Your own heart is the best for you so the longer you can keep that the better."

"Okay, so I don't want a transplant?" Callie confirmed, more confused than ever.

"You will need it eventually." Lena stated. "But not any sooner than absolutely required. Until then we are going to carry on with our lives. You can go to school but there's only so much you can do. If you get even the slightest bit tired or breathless, you absolutely have to come and tell me." She warned.

"I will." Callie agreed, too scared now to play any games. She was no longer a kid trying to be like everyone else - suddenly she seemed to be the kid trying to just stay alive.

* * *

And that became their new routine. They would both go to school but Lena would check in with Callie at least five times during the school day. Every teacher and now most of the kids as well, knew what was going on so Callie was given permission to lay her head down or excuse herself from class whenever she needed to however she was never to go even to the bathroom by herself. If she did need to go or she needed Lena one of the other girls was sent with her for they couldn't risk her collapsing on the way while there was no one in the hallways to notice.

The school, principal and teachers were all very supportive of both Lena's and Callie's needs and as long as Callie didn't disrupt the class in anyway, she was given the freedom to sit though or excuse herself whenever required. No one was expecting her to actually concentrate or learn anything at this point and school was simply a way to keep her mind occupied as well as keep her close to Lena who was saving leave for when the surgery would be scheduled.

As the weeks wore on Callie became increasingly tired and could not even make it through the day without taking a nap in the nurses office. Kids who had originally teased her moved on to being sympathetic or helpful and eventually Callie's routine just became the norm for all of them. Lena was once again filled with worry and stress and she was assigned a teacher's aide to help her for they never really knew when Callie would need to be rushed to the hospital. She'd already been taken to hospital over a dozen times since they first planned a transplant for incidents ranging from hiccups to another breathless episode that lasted twice as long as the first one and required three pumps of the inhaler to take effect.

"It's this years junior social experience project." Karen said to Lena as the two were sitting in the teacher's lounge and just talking.

"In Someone Else's Shoes." Lena smiles, liking the topic. "What is it exactly?" She asked curiously.

"Basically the kids have to do a project on themselves - their triumphs, struggles, fears, joys, everything and present it in a way for others to understand." Helen explained. "They're all going to be out in the world soon and I'm hoping this will make them a little more sympathetic to the people around. Not everyone is as fortunate as them and they need to learn that despite differences, despite disabilities, everyone has a purpose and everyone has a strength."

"Definitely sounds like a great project." Lena smiled, not yet realizing that Helen had an ulterior motive. The woman had watched her friend over the last few months and knew that they all needed a small break and this was just what she felt would help.

"I want Callie to join." Helen said finally. "I think this will be really good for her."

"Oh Helen." Lena shook her head. "She doesn't have the stamina for that."

"It's not a graded project for her, it's just something to occupy her mind and I promise I won't let her push too hard. She can work at her own pace but I think, considering all she's been though and all that's coming, this will be a good way for her to find where she fits in."

Lena had confided quite a bit in her colleagues lately and one of the things she'd mentioned more than once was her fear of Callie giving up. There was only so much one child could take and Callie seemed to be reaching that limit very quickly.

"Maybe we can even work it into an extra credit program for when she resumes school full-time." Helen added as an incentive. This was something she'd thought hard about and truly believed would help.

"I'm not sure we should tell her that. She doesn't want to fall further behind." Lena stated, obviously giving permission.

"We'll play it by ear." Helen agreed, giving Lena a writeup of the assignment to go over with Callie and plan out what she wanted to show the world about herself.


	50. Chapter 50

Lena lay awake on several nights worrying and wondering what was going to happen. There was so much that was unknown right now and how she wished that there was someone she could share the burden with. Her own parents did all they could but they hadn't come down yet, also working and saving up for when the time came for the surgery when they needed to be close. It was nights like this that made her want to call Stef for despite their history and despite their fight, Stef was the closest thing that Callie had to a second parent and Lena knew that Stef would feel just as worried about Callie as she was. But each time she would pick up the phone to make the call she would fear another battle. The last time she'd asked Stef to stay things had gotten so bad that Callie ended up in the hospital and Lena was just too scared to take that risk again. What if Callie didn't take well to Stef's presence after the last debacle or what if Stef disagreed with Lena on treatments or wanted to take her somewhere else for other opinions? Callie had already been to so many hospital, met so many doctors and tried so many treatments and the only thing that ever really did her any good was a chance to stick with one for a significant length of time and both Lena and Callie had grown to trust the doctor that currently treated her. Making a change now, even slightly, could potentially prove to be more harmful than helpful so did she really want to invite all that back into their lives when they'd finally settled down after the last storm that Stef had brought with her? So instead Lena just put her phone back on her nightstand, buried her head in her pillow and cried all by herself with no support or comfort from anyone.

* * *

Callie however was surprisingly excited about her project. Not only did it give her something to focus on and take her mind off of her fears and worries but it was also something she found very interesting. There was so much she wanted to show the world about herself and presenting it in a way that would force them to see it though her eyes was like a dream to her for no one had ever truly understood her history despite how much they tried.

But as her condition worsened the time Callie could spend working decreased. She would end up sleeping for a few hours in the nurse's office, too weak to even stay upright and even after all that rest she just couldn't shake the feeling of being exhausted. Lena and Karen had both offered to help Callie with her project but she didn't want that - she wanted it to be a surprise and so she kept it to herself, her perseverance to finish it never wavering.

With the coming weeks came another trip to the hospital for stronger doses of medication that added to all their worries though her heart was still hanging on, just by a thread. The need for a transplant was coming closer and everyone knew that. But along with it came a lot of paperwork both for the state as well as for the hospital. Lena was technically Callie's foster mother which meant that any major decisions regarding Callie's course of treatment required the approval of the state. The only silver lining seemed to be her social worker truly trusting Lena's opinions. He agreed to go with Lena and the doctor on any treatment they deemed fit and Callie, still being a ward of the state, meant that the state would have to pay.

But the state would only pay for the bear minimum and Lena wanted much more for her daughter. She wanted the best doctors, the best hospital and the best treatment but she couldn't afford it. But someone else could and Lena would push aside her fear, swallow her pride and ask her for help.

* * *

Lena felt more than nervous as she walked down a hallway of the San Francisco courthouse towards a courtroom that she's been directed to. This was the first time in ten months that she was actually going to see Stef. She hadn't spoken to or heard from the woman is as much time either but truth be told, she'd thought of her often. Each time Callie had a setback, she knew that Stef would have wanted to help; every triumph Stef would have wanted to celebrate and every tear that the young girl had shed, Stef would have wanted to wipe away.

Lena quietly walked through a side door to a large courtroom where a proceeding was in session. The judge sat at the head and someone was sitting in a box beside him, being questioned while the plaintiff, defendant and their lawyers sat at their desks. Several people filled the pews behind and the room was silent except for the firm, confidant voice of one Stefanie Marie Foster.

Stef was completely engrossed in questioning the person on the stand and nothing distracted her from her goal - to win the case. Max, however, was currently sitting next to their client observing and taking notes based on Stef's questioning. The sound of the side door, not far from him, prompted him to see who had entered and his eyes went wide when he saw Lena walk through quietly, her eyes focused on the blond currently holding the floor.

Stef was on a roll and they were so close to winning that Max couldn't afford for her to be interrupted or distracted and so he turned to the pew behind him and whispered something to one of his own interns. He watched as the intern went to Lena and gave her Max's message.

Lena sighed when she was asked to sit down at the back and wait. The procedure was almost over and in another half an hour to forty-five minutes the judge would give his ruling. She could meet with Stef then. Taking a seat Lena began to practice the speech she'd prepared to convince Stef to pay.

She deserves better than the state can provide - you owe her the best - she's never gotten a fair chance - she needs this - it won't make a dent in your wealth - you offered, long ago you promised to help her when she needed it - I can't risk losing her.

But eventually the words were beginning to lose all meaning as Lena repeated them over and over again in her head. She needed a break, something else to think about to clear her head and so she turned her attention back to the court in front of her, surprised to find that over half an hour had passed.

"Your Honor, just because you own something doesn't necessarily mean that you're right for it. Carl Duncan owns the property, yes, but it was Thomas Brown that made the inn what it is today. He has been working there for over forty years and he deserves more than what Mr. Duncan is offering. Where was Mr. Duncan when the inn caught fire in nineteen-eighty-six? Where was he when tourism was so bad that the rooms were empty for months in two-thousand and one? Where was he when the roof collapsed or when the whole place needed re-wiring?"

She paused, preparing to wrap things up in her final statements, her face etched with determination and her voice loud and clear as she spoke.

"My client is not asking for any favors, all he wants is a chance to buy the inn that Carl Duncan no longer wants. Thomas Brown offered Carl Duncan the asking price and the agreement was made. It is not fair that Mr. Duncan go back on his word because he was offered more money. The Fisher Group are going to tear the place down to build a high-rise and what was once a homey, loved, community spot will become the beginning of a concrete jungle. Carl Duncan had the money but it was Thomas Brown's love and effort that made the Country Inn what it is and he deserves a chance to continue."

Another grueling twenty minutes passed as the Judge took a break to make his decision. Lena could see Stef and Max sharing notes and explaining things their interns while the man, Carl Duncan presumably, looked nervous for it was clear that things weren't going in his favor. When the judge finally came back the room went still and silent for about five minutes while he spoke but then erupted into cheers when Thomas Brown and Foster and Scott won.

Lena couldn't help but smile as she watched Stef smiling widely, hugging the man who was now the new owner of the Country Inn and they were immediately surrounded by several people from the firm as well as Mr. Brown's family and friends. People were congratulation all of them and Stef was talking animatedly when Lena saw Max tap her on the shoulder and whisper something into her hear.

But the nerves returned the moment that Stef spun around to find her in the sea of faces that surrounded her; a look of fear on her face as she wondered why Lena was here - without Callie.


	51. Chapter 51

"What happened? Is Callie okay? Where is she?" Stef asked worriedly as she rushed towards Lena, all her joy and happiness from just winning an important case completely forgotten.

Lena was standing, staring at Stef, watching her walk closer. She heard the questions; she heard the fear and she shook her head vigorously. "No." She whispered, afraid to say it out loud. "She's not." Tears of pain filled her brown eyes and she could see them mirrored in Stef's hazel ones.

An unimaginable ache filled Stef's heart as she waited for Lena to continue; to give her some more information for she hated to be left hanging. What had happened to her little girl? Where was she? What were they doing for her? Was it even possible to help her? Was she even still alive?

"She needs a transplant." Lena explained as she sat back down in the pew, already exhausted from all the emotions. "She needs a transplant soon."

"She's alive?" Stef confirmed, glad for the tiny blessing. She knew she wouldn't survive if her beautiful baby was dead. A transplant wasn't good but it was still hope and Stef was going to hold on to it with everything she had. She now sat down next to Lena and listened to everything Lena had to say.

"Yes." Lena smiled sadly, not realizing what Stef must have thought the moment she saw her. "She's alive and she's on the transplant list but she's very weak. She no longer attends classes at all but a friend of mine who teaches high-school keeps her busy with a project. Whatever energy she has, she puts into that and I think it's really helping her. She won't let me see it until it's finished so I have no clue what it is exactly but I'm just happy that it makes her smile."

Stef smiled at the image, picturing a very determined Callie working hard on something despite her pain and suffering. But the image didn't last long for once again she pictured a sick looking little girl, fighting for her life. 'Why can't they just do it now?' Stef thought to herself. She couldn't help but feel that waiting only added to their trouble. Callie's heart was going to give way and lying in bed all day with barely enough energy to even use the bathroom was no way to live, so what were they waiting for? But she already knew the answer, it wasn't that simple - there were other people, in worse conditions than Callie that were higher on the list; her heart was still functions, even if it was below standard. She had to squeeze out every last ounce of power she could from it before she qualified for a new one. "So how long does she have?" She asked instead.

"They're predicting a month, maybe two." Lena answered. "That's provided the decline remains steady. It could escalate depending on her health, her activity, stress. There's no real way to judge. Besides, they want to keep her own heart in as long as possible because it's the best heart for her but it's not going to hold out much longer. A new heart will be strong and healthier but there are risks of infection and rejection and the medications to help with that will make her immunity drop so much that even the tiniest cold could turn into a major problem. Also, hearts aren't that easily available, it's not like the kidney or liver where you can give part of it away and still have more for yourself. Her age and health, apart from her heart of course, are in her favor both in terms of receiving a heart when the time comes as well as the surgery being successful but there aren't any guarantees so we are still hoping that her own heart holds out a little longer but if she collapses even one more time, she will be moved to the top of the list immediately and the first available match will be hers."

Stef nodded in understanding - how could anyone predict something like this? No matter how advance technology, science and medicine got, these things would never be mastered.

"She's still a ward of the state which means they have to sign off on everything. That also means that they pick the hospital, the doctors and the treatment but they will only give her the bear minimum." Lena continued, before she lost the nerve. "A state appointed surgeon, a shared room at the children's ward of the state hospital which means no one can spend the night with her, and only three days of aftercare and no therapy. She needs more than that; she deserves more than that but I can't give it to her. I wish I could but I can't afford it."

By now Stef understood why Lena had come to her and she knew what she was getting at but she didn't disagree for even she believed that Callie needed and deserved more, much more.

"You offered to help her once and I know it's a lot to ask and I probably shouldn't be aski…" Lena continued as she began to sob, afraid that Stef wouldn't help for now she had no obligation to.

"I'll pay." Stef quickly interrupted as she gently laid a hand on top of Lena's jittery knee. "Of course I'll pay."

Lena was stunned to silence as tears still made their way down her face. She wasn't sure what to say for she'd come with a long speech prepared but Stef had just agreed without blinking an eye. "You will?" She clarified, just to make sure for this wasn't something she could afford to play around with."

"Look, whatever happened between us is in the past and I won't make Callie play for it. The custody battle wasn't supposed to happen like that. I never planned to fight you for her I was just so afraid of you shutting me out. I had no intentions of keeping her from you. I know I gave her up when she was born but I did that out of love, not because I didn't want her." She smiled apologetically for the mess she had caused. "When my fighting for her put her back in the hospital I realized that I had made a mistake and that even if I had won, it was you she'll always want so yes, I'll play for whatever she needs." Stef smiled sadly, wishing that she didn't have to do this - not because she didn't want to fork over some cash but because she didn't want Callie to be in this situation in the first place.

Lena smiled back and then practically laughed in relief for now she knew that her daughter would get the best that the world could offer. "Thank you." She said, still smiling widely. "Thank you." She repeated. But it was only moments later that the smile disappeared from her face and was replaced by a worried frown. She looked away from Stef for the next part of her request could possibly make her change her mind.

"What?" Stef asked. It was clear that Lena had something more to say and wasn't comfortable about it but she couldn't imagine what it was. "What is it?" She asked again, holding her breath as she waited for whatever was coming next.

Lena straightened herself, determined to stand her ground and fight for what was best for Callie. "I still want you to stay out of our lives." Lena finally said boldly.


	52. Chapter 52

Stef stared at Lena in disbelief, her face clouded in hurt. Was this really happening? All Lena wanted from her was money but she wasn't willing to let Stef even see Callie?

"I… I…" Stef stuttered, still at a loss for what to say. She couldn't believe this was happening.

"I can't take that risk." Lena explained. "She's too week and too fragile right now and she was so distraught and the last time you were involved things declined so fast. She finally feels safe and secure again; she finally settled down and I won't let you ruin that. You yourself just admitted that everything was a mess last time round and right now her heart is the only thing we all need to focus on and I'm scared of what will happen if she finds out that you are in any way involved with her. I just can't take that risk, I'm sorry." She finished, her voice firm and hard to make it clear that they weren't open for negotiations though she wasn't trying to hurt Stef.

Stef was still silent, trying to process this, wondering if she was even capable of staying away knowing that her daughter was possibly dying. If she was paying for her treatments and whatever else Lena needed then she would have a vague idea of what was going on which would only make it harder for her to keep her distance.

"She doesn't even know I'm here right now." Lena continued, trying to make Stef understand her reasoning. "She thinks I'm on a school field trip that I couldn't get out of because one teacher can't handle two classes outside of school grounds. We don't mention your name anymore because she's always afraid that you'll fight for her again. I made the mistake of not telling her the truth the last time and now she thinks I'll hide it again from her so please, please, don't rock the boat."

Stef nodded slightly as she began to understand what Lena was saying. She had to admit that it did make sense. Stef had ruined Callie's life - not only when she gave her away but the first time she'd shown up and put a stop to her adoption and then again when fought for custody even after promising that all she wanted was to get to know the girl.

"I know it's horrible of me and it's a lot to ask but I have to do what's best for her. I came to you because that's what a mother does - she gets what her child needs no matter what and she does whatever she can to protect her." Lena continued. "It's what you wanted for her - a family that would love and protect her better than you could."

"What about after the transplant?" Stef finally asked, still trying to find a way around Lena's decision. "Once she's out of the woods, why can't we start over then?"

"I don't know." Lena answered honestly. "I don't know how well this surgery will take, there are a lot of factors - she may reject the heart, it may take a long time for her body to recoup completely, she may need another transplant again a few years down the line. We just don't know anything so I can't decide. Besides, I made the mistake of pushing a relationship with you the first time because I thought it was the right thing to do but now I think it needs to be her decision. When she's ready, maybe after she's eighteen or old enough to fully understand the situation and deal with her feelings then she can approach you. I won't make those decisions for her this time."

Once again Stef was silent, all hopes crushed as she thought of letting go of her daughter yet again. She had just managed to get things back in order in her life; accepted that Callie was better off without her; and now again, she had to pick up all pieces and start over. Only this time there was the hope that maybe one day, years from now, Callie would reach out - but she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not for it didn't make for a clean break.

"So are you still willing to pay?" Lena distracted Stef of her thoughts with the question that had worried the younger woman all along. Her voice was hard and held almost no sympathy for she couldn't afford to turn soft and back down but the truth was that she never meant to actively hurt Stef. She was just doing what was best for her daughter.

Stef was still for a while, just thinking everything over, preparing herself for yet another rough ride of letting Callie go. Yes, she wanted to be something more than just a bank account for both of them but was she really going to deny her daughter the best she could offer because it wasn't working out that way? After all, it was Stef's mistakes that had put the girl in this position in the first place. "Yes." She finally said as she nodded her head and looked at Lena. "Just tell me where to send the money and I'll send it every month."

Lena smiled and nodded appreciatively, finally releasing the breath she'd been holding as her shoulders visibly relaxed. She had been so worried from the moment she'd decided to approach Stef for she knew that she wasn't being fair - in fact, if she had read this as an article about someone else she might have even considered herself heartless but she was learning that a mother would pull out all the stops in order to protect her child.

"I'll pay for everything and I'll stay away, but there's one thing I need from you." Stef suddenly continued, adding a condition to her promise, making Lena looked up at her with worried eyes. "I need you to tell me what's happening - when she gets a heart, how the surgery went, how she's recovering. You can't imagine what it would feel like to not know whats happening."

"I promise." Lena agreed quickly, finding the conditions completely reasonable. She didn't doubt Stef's love for Callie and she fully believed that the woman was worried about her and would want to know how things were progressing. "I'll keep you in the loop." She assured with a smile.

"Thank you." Stef smiled back, somewhat satisfied. At least now she wouldn't be constantly on edge, wondering how things were going, dreading the day when she's asked to stop making the payments because Callie was no longer alive.

"Thank you." Lena replied, more than grateful for what Stef was doing for them. She knew it was a lot to ask of a woman she barely knew but Stef had agreed anyway and that definitely made Lena feel even worse about what she'd just done for despite their fight, despite Stef's indirect involvement in Callie's misery, the woman truly didn't deserve any of this and had things been different; had Stef simply been just another woman then maybe it was possible that they could have been a family.

The two just seemed to stare in silence at each other as though they had more to say - a lot more to say - but neither even made an attempt as the tension and awkwardness built up between them. Eventually, when it because almost unbearable, Lena whispered one last thank you and then got up and walked away.

Stef turned around and watched the woman disappear down the aisle towards the large doors of the courtroom and slowly the tears began, first just a couple but within seconds they were practically pouring down her face as she watched the back of Lena's head disappear between those two doors and had Lena glanced back even once then Stef would have seen just as many tears spilling out of her eyes as well.


	53. Chapter 53

Stef spent the better part of the next two weeks in tears. Not only was she heartbroken at losing her daughter one more time but she was also terrified for Callie was obviously very, very, sick. Even if she gave every last cent she owned for Callie's treatments it may still not be enough for while her money could buy the girl the best - the best was not necessarily good enough. There was a chance that Callie would not survive until a heart was available, or if she did get a heart then the surgery may not be a success; her body may reject the heart or the anti-rejection medication could compromise her immunity so much that any other infection, no matter how small, could kill her. And even if none of that happened, even if everything went perfectly, she new heart she gets may not last long which would put them all right back in this position.

Stef no longer worked on cases for her company - she didn't even pretend or try this time. Instead, all her energy went in researching everything she could get her hands on about Callie's condition, heart transplants in general and the best course of action for Callie's particular factors. She didn't have any say in what would happen, she probably wouldn't even be given those kind of details, but she needed to know; to understand; for she felt like she was walking through a maze in the dark.

Feeling like she had failed her daughter yet again somehow she thought about what else she could do. She could offer to support them in more ways than just Callie's medical needs - give them a more comfortable living - a larger home, a better car, whatever they could possibly want. But she knew that it was inappropriate; rude even, to make such an offer. But her wealth seemed to be the only thing that they needed and wanted from her so how else could she contribute. And then it hit her - there was something she could do; something that would actually make a difference in their lives; a way to truly make up for her mistakes. With a burst of excitement she picked up her phone and dialed a number she hadn't called in years.

* * *

As it became apparent that Callie's need for a transplant was getting closer, Dana came down to help out while Stewart stayed behind to continue working and keep their home running until the surgery was actually scheduled. Dana proved to be a huge help for there were days when Callie simply did not have the energy to leave the house while Lena still had to run errands, discuss treatments and plans, not only with the doctors, surgeons and the transplant team but also psychiatrists, neurologies and physical therapists and the more she talked to them, the more she learned, the more overwhelming it all became. And apart from all of that, having Dana around gave Lena just a little time to relax each day. She was so worried and so stressed and so tired all the time that she just needed to stop and catch her breath every so often.

Callie was deteriorating fast - her skin was consistently pale and grey and her lips had barely any color at all. Her eyes lacked their usual luster and she looked like nothing but skin and bone. She hardly ever ate anything and had been prescribed nutrition shakes to keep up her strength. She would often get light-headed and couldn't stay upright for long and each day her name would move higher and higher on the list and the doctors gave her a pager that she had to keep with her at all times and when they had a match for her they would call it and they had to drop everything immediately and rush to the hospital. This still didn't guarantee that Callie would get the heart however for they would have to check her to make sure that all her levels were stable enough to perform such a drastic surgery.

Her work on the project also slowed tremendously for no matter how much she enjoyed it and actually wanted to do it; she just didn't have the energy it required. But still it didn't stop her from doing what she could. On some days she would actually spent up to two or three hours working while others mere ten or twenty minutes was all she could spare. And as the days passed it only got worse until she finally did take Karen up on her offer to help. The woman would work tirelessly with Callie, coming over to the house most evenings and weekends and write down whatever Callie said to her. The visual aspect of the project remained unfinished for Callie could do longer do it herself and Karen could not do justice to the image that Callie wanted to share. Whatever she had managed to finish, she would present and the rest sh described in the essay - if she made it to presentation day for that was nearing just as quickly as her surgery seemed to be.

Lena and Dana had formed a plan for when the pager did beep and they had to get Callie to hospital. A bag containing Callie's medical records, all documentation for the procedure, insurance and social services files along with basic essentials like clothes, toothbrushes and light entertainment for both Lena and Callie were also included in and kept ready in the trunk of the car. Once that pager went off it was Lena's duty to get Callie to the hospital. Dana was in charge of everything else - she would make sure that the house was closed up properly and she was responsible for informing whoever needed to be informed including Stewart, Stef, a few friends and CPS.

But right when they didn't think they could handle another hurdle in their path Lena received a phone call from her social worker instructing her to bring her lawyer and Callie down to the court house immediately and once again Lena felt like her world was falling apart for she knew it was possible that the state could find Lena an unsuitable parent considering Callie's medical needs and their lack of an appropriate support system.


	54. Chapter 54

Lena, Dana and Callie arrive at the courthouse and Lena shares a worried glance with her mother. They had decided not to tell Callie what was going on for they themselves didn't know and they didn't want to worry her until they had to. Instead, the girl believed that they were here to get some medical forms signed by the judge to say that the state approves of her upcoming transplant. Dana was in charge of keeping Callie occupied while Lena went ahead to find out what was truly going on.

Entering the small room she was summoned to Lena found her lawyer, Callie's social worker and an elderly man she presumed to be the judge all talking while they waited for her.

"Ms. Adams, I presume." The judge said as she entered to join them.

"Your honor, I'm Lena Adams and I have had Callie Jacob in my care for close to three years now." Lena began, desperate to get her defense in before any decisions could be made.

"Yes, I've read her file throughly." The judge responded as Lena's lawyer stepped towards her.

"Then you'll see that she have never been more stable both socially and medically." Lena continued, not even waiting for an explanation. "She's made friends and her grades have improved drastically and having been on one treatment under one doctor has done a world of good for her and all of that is because she's finally found a stable home." Lena stated rather forcefully, gritting her teeth to keep herself from calling them all fools for attempting to change that.

"Then what are we doing here?" Lena snapped slightly. "Why is our life being turned upside down again? Callie is due to have major surgery in just a few weeks and she can't handle any kind of stress right now. Ripping her away from the only family she has ever had could literally kill her right now." She said angrily as she turned towards the social worker. "You can't take her away. I won't let you." She said with a determination that only a mother about to lose her child could muster.

But the judge just raised his eyebrow in amusement as he watched the young woman stand her ground - her fists clenched, a frown on her face and a fire in her eyes.

"I'm sorry you've wasted your time but you are not taking Callie from me so let us just go home and forget this ever happened." She added as an after thought, trying to show that she wasn't going to give them even the slightest option.

Both Lena's lawyer and the social worker were ready to come to her defense and both gave her a very disapproving warning to remain silent and let them speak for her but Lena believed that they were just following procedure and right now she didn't give a damn about rules or formalities. Right now all she cared about was sitting outside and waiting to just go back home.

"Ms. Adams." The judge spoke firmly but he had a twinkle in his eye that Lena might have noticed had she not been so hopping mad. "My name is Walter Garrison and I have served on the bench for over thirty years and now I am a professor at Yale. I am here today to finalize Callie's adoption but if you believe that we are all here, wasting our time then I'm more than happy to just 'go home and forget this ever happened'." He finished, throwing her own words back at her.

By now Lena was staring at the judge with her mouth practically hanging open. She couldn't believe this was actually happening for in all honesty, she had begun to believe that the adoption would never happen and though she'd never admit it to Callie, she had learned to just accept it.

"So?" The judge pulled Lena out of her thoughts. "Are we going home and forgetting this ever happened?" He questioned good-naturedly.

"NO." Lena quickly said as a slow smile finally began to appear on her face. "No, please no." She begged. "We want this. Oh God yes I want to adopt her."

"Alright then." The judge smiled back at her as he began sorting through some papers. "I'm assuming that you've brought Callie with you."

* * *

"Congratulations Callie, you are no longer a ward of the state." The judge said happily as he signed the bottom of her adoption certificate and handed it to her to see. "You are one lucky girl to have a mother that will fight tooth and nail for you."

"I know sir." Callie said excitedly from the chair she'd been given to sit on. "Thank you."

Both Lena and Dana had tears in their eyes and even the lawyer and social worker had broad grins on their faces for both had been fighting for the girl for several years now and were thrilled to witness a happy ending.

The next ten minutes went in 'thank you's' and hugs and kisses and then the little family spent a few moments by themselves before Lena left her mother and daughter to speak to the social worker when a terrifying thought entered her head.

"Did the hospital call you?" Lena asked the social worker, wondering if he knew something that she didn't.

"No." The man replied with a frown. "Why do you ask?"

"How did this happen?" Lena questioned, not that she wasn't happy to finally be Callie's legal guardian. "Did something happen? Is she going to die?"

By now both the lawyer and the social worker understood Lena's worry for it was mandatory for the hospital to keep social services informed about patients in their care and while they often did communicate with the foster parents as well, when things became very serious or when there was a conflict of some sort, they preferred to follow protocol.

"I think Judge Garrison has something for you." Lena's lawyer said as he directed her towards the judge who was waiting for her.

"I've been asked to give this to you." The judge said as he handed Lena a plain white envelope addressed to her in neat, cursive writing.

 _I've made so many mistakes and I've ruined so many lives and even when I tried to make things right, I messed up and you were there to pick up the pieces. I know now that this is the way to make amends to both, my daughter and her mother._

 _Happy Adoption Day._

 _Love Always, Stef._

By the time she'd finished reading the simple note Lena was in tears for in all of the scenarios that had gone though her mind, Stef's involvement had never made the list. But now, in hindsight, she should have realized that the woman had something to do with it for after years of struggling to make it happen, it just happened in a flash and Stef was a very well-connected lawyer.

"Thank you." Lena smiled at the judge and he could see that he cared deeply for Stef to have done this for her. The woman truly was big-hearted and Lena was now even more grateful to her for what she'd done for Callie. Stef had been right - this was the best gift that she could ever give the girl and Lena knew it had to have been hard for her. She carefully tucked the note into her bag and wiped away her tears before returning to her family. She wasn't going to reply to Stef, she wasn't going to hurt her by shoving the adoption in her face. It wasn't fair to pull her in when Lena needed her but then push her away when she didn't anymore. Stef had done this for them and she'd agreed to help with the medical treatment but beyond that, Stef deserved to live her own life without being held back by them.

* * *

Being adopted gave Callie a burst of energy that surprised everyone. She was smiling more, managed to stay active longer, ate better and even went out for a walk twice or thrice. It also encouraged her to finish the project that was due in just a week. The kids were expected to present their work to the junior and senior classes and their families and friends and Callie was being offered a chance to present it as well for even though she was several years younger than the rest of the students, she deserved the chance and what she didn't know was that she would also get credit for it. Since she had found an interest in the project without the added incentive they had decided to keep that part from her both to use as a pleasant surprise as well as not to add the extra pressure for one of Callie's greatest worries was that she'd once again be held back. It had taken her a while to get over being in a new class with a whole new bunch of kids who knew all about her even before her first day back in the seventh grade but slowly she'd made a few friends. But before she could truly find a place she belonged, she became weaker and weaker and she was missing class after class until she stopped attending school altogether. But now was her chance to show them all who she truly was and absolutely nothing was going to keep her from giving this presentation.


	55. Chapter 55

The day of the project presentations finally arrived and Callie was given special permission from her doctors to attend school that day, however she was only to go long enough to present her work. She was going to be the last in line and she just couldn't wait. She wasn't strong enough to stand and speak, she couldn't set up the art world she'd done and she wasn't sure she'd be able to actually finish the entire presentation in one shot, but she was going to try for she had very literally put in every ounce of energy she had into this project.

She started her project with a black and white image of a faceless girl on a background of random letters and numbers - that's who she believed she was all those years in the system - a girl with no identity besides a serial number on a government file filled with words that people who barely knew her used to describe her. She had been nobody important right from the moment she was born for not one single person had ever wanted her.

She then took that image and cut it into the shape of a heart and then carefully ripped it down the middle, effectively tearing the face in half. Now she was not only the faceless girl with a jumbled up history but she was also the one with, literally, a broken heart. Nothing ever seemed to go right for her, for the moment one thing sorted itself out, there were at least a dozen others that were falling apart. If she lived in a decent home then when her heart caused too much trouble she would be sent away. If she was in a particularly bad home then she was too afraid to tell them when she needed medical help until things got so bad that it was unavoidable. Every so often her social worker would change and along with that, bits and pieces of her history would go missing leaving her an empty shell that seemed to belong nowhere.

"It's kind of like Sisyphus." Callie said as she sat in front of what seemed like a hundred people. "Being in foster care is an uphill climb and having congenital heart failure is my boulder and all I keep doing is pushing that boulder uphill over bumps and rocks and just when I feel like I've reached the top, it all comes crashing down and I have to start all over again, whether it's a new home or new doctors and treatments, it never gets any easier."

"Lena Adams is my mother and has been in every possible way since the day I met her back when I was only ten years old. Even when I wasn't adopted and even though she had limited say in decisions about me, she was still the closest thing I ever had to a mother and I never doubted that she loves me, not even the tinest bit. The moment I met her and she became a piece of my puzzle, I could see a plateau instead of a peak at the top of my hill and I wanted more than ever to reach it and rest for a while for even if I ever did make it to the top, it was a steep drop down the other side."

"My adoption was very important to me because only then did that uphill climb level enough for me to sit down for a minute and while I will probably be pushing that boulder for the rest of my life, it's now just a little bit easier; just a little bit smaller and I will now always have someone there to help me push."

"But for ten years there had been no plateau in sight and I wanted to give up more times than I can remember. It had never ever been easy but it was even harder when there was no one who cared enough to help. And it was only a vision; am image of who I wanted to be, that kept me going."

"There are different types of good people in the world and they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Some are soft and kind while others are firm but fair, some are generous and giving but others make you earn what you deserve, some will help you and others will teach you how to help yourself. The person I want to be is strong and independent, someone who can fight battles and take on the world, one whom nothing can tear down. I want to be fierce but fearless and I want to stand proud and tall and not let the words of other people make me afraid of who I am. I want to stand up to those who want to keep me down and I want to make something of myself and prove to the world that just because you're a foster child or someone with an illness of some kind doesn't mean that you don't matter; it doesn't mean that you're not worth it and it doesn't mean that you're not destined for greatness."

"I started out as a faceless girl with a damaged heart, defined by people who barely knew me. But today, I am someone; I belong to someone and I matter to someone." She paused and smiled at Lena and Dana before she turned to face the image on display. "There was supposed to be a face to add to that image but I wasn't able to draw it. But you can still see it though - just look at me and you'll see it in my eyes and in my smile. I now have a family and I have a home and one day, when I die, whether it's today, tomorrow or years from now, there will be people who will notice that I'm gone and they will cry because they miss me terribly. And although my heart is still damaged and though it may never fully be fixed, it's no longer broken for I've learned that it wasn't just muscle and tissue that I was missing, it was love and now I have enough of that to mend any broken heart." Using the last of her energy Callie stuck a bandaid across the tear in the heart and on that band-aid in big bold letters she had written - Finally 'CALLIE ADAMS'.

Within seconds everyone was on their feet clapping and cheering and several people had tears in their eyes but no one had as many as Lena's for seeing her daughter's new name up there brought her the greatest joy. As she stood and watched her daughter beaming from ear to ear she realized that despite her absence in the girl's life, Stef had played a role in shaping Callie. The two were more similar than Lena had realized for they had both been held back by society but both had fought long and hard to change that. Stef was forced to give her own child away by the people that should have helped and supported her and now she was out there in the world fighting for people who couldn't fight for themselves and Callie was proving to follow in her footsteps for Lena knew that one day Callie would also be changing the world. It was then that she decided to tell her daughter the truth about her mother and how she'd been the one to make the adoption final and how, despite their refusal to include her in their family, she was still making sure that Callie got absolutely everything she would need to get better.

Once again Lena's attention returned to her daughter. The audience were will clapping and praising Callie for her project and the fight that she never gave up and it was a good five minutes later that the noise began to subside and only then did people begin to hear the shrill sound that finally silenced the entire room and it took a moment for both Callie and Lena to realize that the sound was coming from the pager on Callie's hip.


	56. Chapter 56

Within twenty minutes Callie was in the hospital and being taken for a myriad of tests, and Dana went with her while Lena was handed several forms to read and sign and then given a chance to ask the hundreds of questions that had suddenly flooded her head. This was finally, really happening and as relieved as she was that Callie was getting the surgery that could save her life, she was equally nervous for this could also potentially end it. Lena was also exhausted from the constant swing of emotions they'd experienced in the last so many months and just a half hour ago she was smiling and laughing and now she was barely able to breathe as she watched Callie being poked yet again for what seemed like the tenth vial of blood.

Finally, after about three hours and seven different tests Callie was deemed stable enough for surgery. The heart that was coming in from another city had also arrived and was being tested once again to make sure that it was a perfect match and in viable condition for they couldn't risk opening Callie up, removing her own heart and then finding out that the new one wasn't up to the mark.

Once it became clear that the surgery was, in fact, going to happen things began to move very quickly. Callie was admitted into the hospital and started on several fluids and medications to help aid the surgery; nurses buzzed around the room prepping her and making sure that everything was in order while the surgeon drew lines on Callie's chest as he explained exactly where he would be cutting, what he would be doing and how he would be doing it. The little family was then given a few minutes to themselves for everything had happened so fast that none of them really had the time to process it all. Dana gave her granddaughter several hugs, kisses and well-wishes, promising to see her as soon as she opened her eyes after surgery - she wanted to give Callie positive goals and encourage her to fight just a little longer. So with one last hug and kiss, Dana headed outside to send texts to everyone that needed to be informed - Stewart, Stef, a few friends both in San Diego and back in Kansas and the school though she was sure that word would have spread there already.

This left Lena alone with her daughter and it was all she could do to hold in her tears for the truth was that Callie could be taken into surgery today and never wake up again.

"I love you." Lena said, blinking rapidly in order to rid her eyes of the tears that were threatening to fall. "I love you so much, you can't even imagine it." She reached for Callie's hands and held them tight, trying to pass on all the love, encouragement and strength that she could through the connection.

"I love you too mom." Callie said, her tears flowing free for she was terrified despite having had so many surgeries before. This time it was different - this time was the biggest and this time was the most dangerous. "You've done so much for me and you've actually made me happy."

"Same goes for you kid." Lena smiled back, losing the battle against her tears. "Nothing has ever made me happier."

"I'm scared." Callie admitted, and in that moment Lena was reminded of the young girl that was brought into her class in the middle of the school year so many years ago that looked so lost and lonely.

"I know baby." Lena understood. "But you are so strong and I know you can do this and I'm going to be here, rooting for you and waiting for you. It's almost over baby; it's almost over." She said encouragingly for she knew that Callie was beyond tired of fighting.

"Hold my hand okay." Callie requested as she squeezed Lena's hands tight, desperate to never let go. "Don't let go till they take me." She instructed.

"Never." Lena smiled, meaning it far more deeply that Callie was asking for. "I love you. We all love you so much Callie." She leaned in and hugged Callie as tight as she possibly could, one had still holding firmly onto the girl's hand.

But all too soon the nurses were back informing them that it was time to take Callie up to the operating room and both Lena and Callie held on as tightly as they could and for as long as they could before Callie was wheeled through the formidable doors that no family member was ever allowed to walk through.

* * *

Four grueling, nauseating hours later the doctors arrived to inform Lena, her parents that the surgery was a success, the prognosis looked good and that Callie was in recovery and would be there for a few hours. He gave them a brief explanation of the procedure and informed Lena that even once Callie woke up, she would still be groggy, disoriented and lethargic. He informed them that he would be back soon to check on Callie and in the mean time an intern would be in to explain to them all how to care for Callie over the next few weeks while she was on the anti-rejection medication.

Lena and her parents listened as the intern informed them that Callie would be isolated for a week at least to reduce the risk of exposing her to any infections and absolutely anyone entering her room was required to wear surgical gowns, gloves, a cap, shoe protectors and most importantly a mask as Callie would be very vulnerable and this was a crucial stage in her recovery. Besides immediate family no one would be allowed into the area and even then their time was limited. After a week to ten days Callie would be transferred to the Cardiac Unit where she would still be monitored closely but she would be allowed to walk around a bit although she would need protective clothing as well and after about a month she would be transferred to a regular hospital room until she was cleared for discharge.

Apart from all of that the intern gave them lists of medications, rules and signs to keep an eye out for and by the end Lena was overwhelmed and certain that she'd already forgotten about half of it. But the intern had assured her that with time she would learn it all and over the course of the next two weeks the doctors and nurses would teach her everything she needed to know. He also gave her pamphlets to several support groups, both for Callie and her family and advised that she look into them for often, once the initial euphoria over finally receiving what was needed wore off, the patient would begin to feel guilty about their benefit from someone else's loss. This could also change Callie's attitude and that of those around her and seeking help early on would be more beneficial than waiting for it to pass.

A psychiatrist would also be by in the next few days to evaluate Callie's state of mind and make sure that she understood the feelings she may experience and assure her that there was nothing wrong with it - it was normal and compassionate and to make them aware that the donor had chosen to share their organs after their passing in order to do something good for others. It was a noble act and it was okay for Callie to feel happy and blessed about it.

After all this information was bombarded on Lena and another few hours passed the doctors returned to tell Lena that Callie was awake and that they could go and see her for a few minutes. They warned her once again that Callie would be groggy and disoriented but that was just due to the anesthesia in her system and it would wear off completely in a day or so and she would be more herself.

Excitedly, but with a hint of nervousness, Lena followed the doctor back to where Callie was and tears of joy made their way down Lena's face when she was finally able to actually see for herself that Callie was alive and doing well considering the major surgery she'd just had. By the time they had made it back there Callie had already fallen asleep again and she looked so small and pale in the hospital bed but still, it was enough for Lena to just see the steady rise and fall of her chest and hear the rhythmic beeping of the machines that monitored her heart.

A wave of relief flooded Lena and her whole body began to ache as it let go of the tension it had been holding and she needed a moment to herself - she needed some space and fresh air and she needed to clear her head. She rushed outside the hospital doors and just took a deep, calming breath, trying to settle her rolling stomach. Eventually she began to cry tears of relief and joy that her daughter was finally on the road to recovery, she was adopted and everything was falling into place. Suddenly there was only one thing that Lena wanted to do and that was call Stef and share the news with her for she knew that despite everyone's love and concern for Callie, no one would understand Lena's feelings more than Stef.

Quickly dialing a number she now knew by heart she was surprised to hear Max's voice over the line. A bubble of jealously once again filled her as she asked for Stef and was even more surprised at Max's request.

"Can you come to the ground floor waiting room." Max said over the phone. "We need to talk."

Lena frowned as she turned and walked back into the hospital and came face to face with red-rimmed, pain-filled eyes of the only person who loved Stef the same way that she did.


	57. Chapter 57

"It was Stef." Lena whispered a sudden ache filling her heart where just moments ago she was filled with joy.

Max just nodded for he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. He'd been utterly heartbroken since he'd found out and he knew that there was only one person who would truly understand how he felt.

"No." Lena refused to accept it although she was already crying tears of pain and regret.

"There was an accident six days ago." Max began to explain, his voice void of emotion in order to get through the tale of Stef's death without falling apart. "Stef was leaving her apartment for work but the elevator cord snapped somewhere around the seventh or eight floor and she went crashing down. She suffered head, neck and spinal injuries and her brain was swollen. They operated but the swelling didn't come down and there was no brain activity. She was already dead and machines were the only thing making her still breath." He paused here, as he gave Lena a moment to come to terms with what he'd just said. He knew that she already knew what was coming next but he still had more to say for while she knew the obvious, the details were still missing. "I had her Power of Attorney and I knew that she wouldn't want to live like a vegetable. She had already signed DNR and organ donation papers years ago but because she was still on life-support and hadn't technically died yet, I still had the power to pull the plug or not. I spoke with the hospital and they called UNOS and we explained the situation to them - I told them that Stef was dead and that she was a donor. I also told them that her biological daughter was high on their list and in desperate need of a heart and I would only sign the content forms if they would direct the heart to Callie. I thought it would take more convincing since Callie wasn't right at the top of the list but they agreed immediately. Her age, and health apart from her heart were on her side and the fact that the donor was immediate family lowered the risk of rejection even though an adult sized heart isn't usually given to a child this young. They signed the heart to Callie and I signed the removal of life support. They donated five other organs to other people as well - her lungs, liver, kidneys and cornea. Stef has helped seven people in all including her own daughter."

Lena had stood silently and listened to the series of events since Stef's death but she had nothing to say for it just hurt too much. She didn't know what to say and even if she did she wasn't sure she'd actually be able to say anything at all. So she just stood and stared at him as though waiting for him to tell her what to do or how to react.

"I flew down with them when they brought the heart and I've been waiting here ever since. I didn't want to say anything before the surgery but I couldn't not say anything at all." Max finished.

"Wait, the doctor knew?" Lena asked in disbelief, wondering why her doctors hadn't said anything - they knew each other well and he had been treating Callie for three years now.

"They are legally bound to keep it private." Max explained, understanding Lena's distress. "He could have lost his license if he disclosed that information. It's why I'm here. I wanted you to know; I needed you to know."

And Lena knew he was right and just because it was personal and just because it was happening to her didn't mean the rules changed and she just had to accept that.

"So that's it?" Lena asked miserably. "She's just gone and I don't get to apologize for how I treated her?" She complained as she sobbed. "I don't get to tell her that I lov…" She couldn't even finish the sentence for she'd never even truly admitted it to herself.

"She loved you too." Max offered kindly as he too felt like crying as he watching the woman in front of him crumble.

But Lena shook her head for he wasn't talking about the same thing. Stef loved her as the woman that mothered her child but she was talking about a different kind of love.

"She did." Max assured, seeing the disagreement on her face. "She was in love with you. I've never seen her love someone like that, and god knows I tried to get her to love me that way but with you it was practically instant." He promised, knowing that she deserved to know the truth. "She never wanted to alienate you from Callie. She fought for Callie because of me - I convinced her to give herself a chance but she was heartbroken and she made me promise not to try and take all rights away from you. She would have shared custody of Callie."

And that statement made Lena think of the most terrifying thing of all - what was she going to tell Callie for keeping this from her was just not an option. Stef had done far too much for all of them and now, more than ever, Callie deserved to know just how much her mother had loved her.

Neither Lena nor Max noticed Dana and Steward join them when their time to sit with Callie was up. They were too engrossed in their own conversation for Lena needed answers and a solution to the most difficult questions yet.

"What do I tell Callie?" She asked Max, hoping he had some magical fix for this dilemma. "How do I tell her that Stef is dead and that the heart now beating inside of her chest once belonged to her mother. How is she supposed to live with that?" She asked.

But Max just remained silent, a pained expression on his face for he didn't have the answers she was looking for - in fact, right now he didn't have any answers at all.

"How are any of us supposed to live without her?" Lena added rhetorically as both she and Max broke down completely, the pain too great to contain any longer.

Both Dana and Steward, having gotten the gist of the topic from what little conversation they overheard, rushed towards them and held them as they cried.


	58. Chapter 58

A while later all four of them were sitting and talking as Max gave them as many details as he possibly could for they still had a lot of questions.

"God, I just met her two weeks ago." Lena said, still unable to believe that the woman was truly gone. "She was there and we were talking and just…" She didn't know what to say. "I was supposed to call her and apologize; I wanted to tell her that Callie wanted her in her life even if she didn't realize it just yet. I wanted to make things right. How did this happen? How could I have treated her so badly when all she wanted was a chance to know her baby?" But she knew that there were no answers to any of those questions and she would just have to learn to live with her mistakes in the same way that Stef had learned to live with hers.

"I spoke to her just the night before." Max replied. At the time neither of them had realized that the last time they had spoken to Stef would be the last time they ever got the chance. "Mundane stuff - we discussed the time we wanted to meet with a client the next day and then about a lightbulb that she needed to buy and change. Nothing very memorable, and yet… something I'll never forget." He admitted sadly.

"I asked her to stay away from us." Lena admitted regretfully. She'd never told anyone about the conversation she'd had with Stef about paying for Callie's medical needs - just that Stef had agreed. She'd kept the part about asking Stef to stay away to herself for she knew that no one would approve of the way she'd handled things and now she wished terribly that she'd listened to them all for maybe she would have done something about it and they could have made amends before Stef lost her life - or perhaps, she wouldn't have been in San Francisco and would be back in her hotel room in San Diego where the elevators hadn't malfunctioned and no one's life had ended far too soon.

"You two will drive yourselves crazy thinking about all of that." Dana said gently, understanding the pain that they both were feeling. She knew her daughter was gay and she was absolutely fine with it and while she didn't realize that Lena had romantic feelings towards Stef, it now didn't surprise her - behind all the fighting, stress and chaos that was their lives, Stef was a wonderful woman and Dana had taken an instant liking to her when they had met at Callie's twelfth birthday. Yes, the custody battle had put a thorn in everyone's sides but even that was just two mothers fighting for their child. "Remember the good times - the smiles and laughs, remember the good she did and the joy she brought. Nobody is perfect and if you truly did love each other the way that it appears then she knew there were no hard feelings despite how things ended."

Their conversation, however, was interrupted by a nurse - the private nurse that Lena had hired for Callie's after care. She was in charge of caring for Callie for the foreseeable future until she was given the all-clear to resume a normal life, but she was to start today to get acquainted with Callie, her family and her treatment and care so that when the time came the transition from hospital to home was a smooth one.

"Oh Maggie." Lena stood up and extended her arm to shake hands with the woman before leading her away from the small group to talk in private for there were now drastic changes in her ability to pay the nurse. "Thank you so much for coming, I wish I had thought to call you sooner but everything's been so overwhelming." Lena admitted, wondering how to even approach the subject.

"Is Ms. Callie alright?" Maggie asked in concern, wondering what had suddenly changed.

"Yes, thank you." Lena smiled, more than happy about that fact. "She's doing very well but someone else did pass away - her biological mother who was actually going to pay for all of this." Lena admitted, worry creeping up into her voice for she now had no idea how to pay for all the bills that were soon going to come flooding her way. "I didn't know this at the time but Callie apparently received her heart after she died in an accident. I'm sorry but I'm going to have to cancel your services, I can't afford to pay you what we promised and I'm not sure if I can even pay the basic hospital fees." Lena realized that there was a lot she would have to look into now for things would soon change - the state was no longer required to pay for Callie's surgery as she was not a ward of the state when it happened; technically her own insurance should cover Callie but since it hadn't yet been discussed and Callie wasn't officially on her plan yet she was sure that the company would put up a fight and she doubted any bank would give her the kind of loan she needed. "Thank you for coming down, and I'm sorry to have wasted your time." Lena finished sadly.

Maggie nodded in understanding and wished both Lena and Callie well and turned to leave when Max interrupted.

"Excuse me." He announced his presence, I'm sorry but we are still keeping you." He said to Maggie as Lena looked at him wide eyed. "Don't worry, I'll handle it." He assured her. "Go on to room one-oh-seven, Callie is there and her doctor is Carl Branson. We'll be up in a bit as well." With that Maggie went to report for duty while Max led Lena back to where her parents were so he could explain himself.

"Max, you can't pay for this." Lena said with a shake of her head. It was one thing to ask Stef for help but it was an entirely different matter to take it from Max.

"I'm not." Max informed her. "You are." He explained.

Lena, Dana and Stewart were all starring at Max, waiting for him to continue with some kind of explanation for nothing made sense to them right now.

"Years ago, when we were both still in law school, Stef and I were learning about Power of Attorneys and we heard about lots of cases where people died suddenly and left a huge mess behind for the their families and friends to either sort out or fight over. During that time we also began to talk about what we wanted to happen just in case we were ever in the position of not answering for ourselves. Both Stef and I signed DNR's and stated that we did not want machines to keep us alive. She had my Power of Attorney and I had hers. But what we also gave each other was control over all assets and finances which means that technically everything that Stef owned belongs to me. Now all this happened before she found Callie and before she ever even began looking for her and I know, without a doubt, that if she had had the time and worked it all out sooner, she would have changed that. She would have given it all to her daughter and so that's what I'm going to do. Whatever was hers is now Callie's and as her mother you are free to use it as you see fit."

Lena was once again starring at Max with her mouth hanging open for again there were no words she could think of. Here was a man who had just inherited millions of dollars and was just handing it off like it was a t-shirt that didn't fit right.

"That's very generous of you. Isn't it Lena." Dana spoke up, as she watched her daughter try to process yet another life-changing piece of information.

"Yes, Yes, it is, thank you." Lena finally found her voice but then she smiled at Max and shook her head. "But I can't accept that. It's not our money and it wasn't left for us. I appreciate it but it wouldn't be right." She said. She already felt guilty about asking Stef for money when she was alive but taking it all because she was dead just seemed wrong.

"Yes you can, and you will." Max replied in that powerful, slightly manipulative way of his. "You will because it's what Stef would have wanted. I know you know she wouldn't have given Callie the world and the the paperwork was just a formality that she hadn't gotten around to. Besides, she already promised to pay for Callie's medical needs so that isn't even a question."

"What about Stef's family?" Lena questioned, wondering how they factored into all of this. "What about her parents?"

"It's not theirs to give or take." Max assured her. "Besides, they don't want it; they have more than they need; we all do and this could secure Callie's entire future - she could go to whatever school she wanted, study whatever she wanted to learn and follow whatever dream she had and god forbid if her heart trouble ever recurs then she has what she needs for that too. This is how it should be. This is what Stef would have wanted."

Lena couldn't believe that she had more tears to shed for it seemed she'd been doing nothing but crying since this day began and she watched Callie get ready for her presentation at the school with a determination she hadn't seen in months; but here she was, crying like a baby once again as she hugged the man that she once hated with such passion.

"Max, I don't know how to thank you for everything that you've done for Callie and me. You've literarily given her the best possible chance she has at surviving all of this." Lena said, meaning every word. "I know that I didn't treat Stef very well and I handled a lot of things the wrong way when I felt that I was going to lose Callie. I know you loved her very, very much but I hope you know that I did too. I was never out to hurt her I just wanted to protect my child. You have no idea how grateful I am to both of you for all you've done for us and I promise you that Callie will learn of what her mother did for her and she will forgive and love her for it. I will not let Stef's name be destroyed."

"I appreciate that. This is for Callie, whenever you're ready to tell her the truth." Max smiled and handed her a plain card box box. He too had red, watery eyes as it hit him again that he would know never again see or hear his best friend and only true love ever again. "I will handle all the financial formalities and take care of payments Stef was to make for Callie. Then I will hand it all over to you and you can take control of it."

Lena nodded gratefully, wondering how she was ever going to handle this much money for she had never seen so much of it even in a game of Monopoly. But here she was now, with everything she would possibly need to give her daughter the best chances at life and it was all because of Stefanie Foster - the woman who truly loved her daughter enough to give her absolutely everything.


	59. Chapter 59

Over the course of the next six months Callie had recovered well - she'd come out of isolation and into the cardiac unit and from there she moved to a regular room and finally out of the hospital entirely. She returned home and thanks to Stef and Max she received the best possible care. Lena was so grateful that she hadn't let go of Maggie for the woman was very good, very thorough and most of all, very caring. Once everyone was settled and Callie was well on her way to recovery and Lena had gotten a handle on things, her parents went back to their own home, promising to visit again soon and Callie eventually resumed school, managed to finish the seventh grade despite missing more than half of it the second time round and was asked to re-present her project at a special assembly held in order to create awareness amongst their students about people's differences and being supportive and helpful instead of judgmental and excluding. It was there that Callie was informed that her project would count for credit and when she reached the eleventh grade she would use the same project if she so chose.

Fortunately for them all Callie had suffered no complications, and her body accepted the heart easily, something that Lena found rather ironic for Callie hadn't accepted Stef's heart this easily when the woman was around to love her. This was what Lena was thinking about when she decided that it was time to tell Callie the truth. The girl was stable both physically and mentally and now was a good a time as any.

As Lena thought about it she realized that Stef's name had cropped up very seldomly over the last few months. Of course, Lena, Dana and Steward had avoided bringing it up in front of Callie for obvious reasons but Callie herself hadn't mentioned Stef much and that saddened Lena. She had hoped that Stef had impacted Callie's life, if only slightly, since the two had been reunited. With a heavy sigh she headed into Callie's room to find the girl lying on her bed on her stomach playing a game on her phone.

"Hey baby, what you doin'?" Lena asked as she took a seat beside Callie and played with her ponytail. It amazed her just how much Callie had changed since the surgery - apart from that fact that she just looked and felt better, she was now allowed to do so much more. She could go up and down flights of stairs without getting any more tired than any other person, her diet restrictions were mostly lifted and she was even allowed to attend parts of gym class that didn't risk a blow to the chest. She could now run, swim and even play the games but any game that involved a ball required her to wear a padded chest guard. Certain sports like soccer, basket ball and volley ball were still off limits. But the best thing was Callie's attitude. With her life finally taking on a more normal rhythm, she was happier, friendlier and even more outgoing but her experiences kept her sympathetic towards those struggling for one reason or another.

"Just texting." Callie answered, as she put her phone down and rolled over to see what her mother wanted. "What's up?" She asked, completely unaware of what was coming.

Lena smiled sadly at her daughter, wishing she didn't have to ruin the little bubble that Callie had finally nestled into; but she knew that she had to for she owed it to Stef as well as to Callie and the longer she waited, the harder it would become. "Honey, I have something to tell you and it's something really sad and really difficult so I want you to prepare yourself. I want you to try and stay calm and I want you to promise to talk to me about it okay?"

"Mom, you're scaring me." Callie said, her face filled with serous concern for never had she heard Lena talk like this before. "Just tell me okay." She said, now desperate to find out what was happening.

"Alright." Lena sighed as she quickly racked her brain for a way to begin, no amount of preparation was enough to make this any less difficult. "Well, a few days before your surgery Stef was in an accident." Lena began.

Callie frowned - she hadn't heard that name in a long time and she couldn't understand why Lena was mentioning it now. Was Stef now coming back for her or did she want to be in their lives again? She wasn't sure how she felt about it but now that she was adopted it didn't terrify her so much anymore.

"Honey, Stef was very badly hurt in that accident and she was in a coma because there was damage to her brain." Lena explained. She was watching Callie closely but it was obvious that the girl hadn't connected the dots just yet and so she continued. "Callie honey, Stef died in that accident." Lena said, as gently as she could for although the girl had no serious bond with the woman, they were still talking about her biological mother and either way Callie had to feel something about it.

"Sh… She's dead?" Callie asked in surprise, still not fully comprehending what Lena was telling her.

"Yes baby." Lena responded, still studying Callie closely. "She was never going to wake up and she wouldn't survive without machines breathing for her so they took her off life support. The doctors said that she was in no pain because she went into a coma immediately."

"What happened? How did she die?" Callie asked, wanting more details now, still not putting all the pieces together despite Lena stating that the accident happened right before her surgery.

"The elevator cord in her apartment building snapped and the elevator car crashed." Lena gave as few details as possible, there was no need to give Callie more than she could handle at the moment.

"So it fell on her?" Callie asked, not fully able to picture what Lena was explaining.

"No baby, she was inside." Lena said, "She hit her head and went into a coma instantly." She added, to make it seem just a little less gruesome.

Callie just stayed quiet, trying to process all of this. She wasn't sure what to think or how to feel for while she understood the gravity of death - it still didn't seem real to her just yet. Even after being reunited, Stef had already been missing in her life for over seven months now so her absence wasn't looming over Callie like giant grey cloud. In fact, she hadn't really noticed Stef's absence at all. She knew that the custody battle had been dropped and she had been immensely happy about it and when Lena told her that Stef had promised to stay away and leave them alone she hadn't been at all upset. Yes, there was a point where she had begun to like Stef and even enjoy her company but then when she fought Lena for custody Callie once again saw her as a threat and wanted nothing to do with her. But did she really want her to die?

"Sweetheart, this happened on October eleventh." Lena continued for there was more she had to tell her daughter. "Apparently Stef had already signed papers stating that she did not want to be kept alive by machines or to be resuscitated. Max was in change of handling her affairs and saw to all of that."

Callie was listening intently for as little as she was following, she still wanted, needed to know more. "Now I didn't know this at the time but Stef was also an organ donor and when Stef was confirmed to be brain dead Max arran…"

"No." Callie said quickly, finally understanding where Lena was heading with this talk. "NO!" She repeated vehemently, as if stating it so firmly would make it true.

"Sweetheart." Lena tried to approach Callie, to get the girl to talk to her, to discuss this until both of them could wrap their minds around it but Callie just refused.

"No, it's not possible." Callie said through gritted teeth, working so hard at keeping from crying that her eyes weren't even slightly damp. "It can't be." She said forcefully."

"Max refused to sign the papers to take her off life-support until UNOS agreed to direct the heart to you." Lena explained for Callie needed to hear this and now that she'd started she was going to finish. "You were the perfect recipient and that's why you didn't have any complications. The heart is from your own mother."

Callie sat speechless as she stared into space, wondering how to express what she was feeling. Her whole life was one big torturous affair and she just couldn't ever catch a break."

"Whatever." Callie finally said with a shrug.

"Honey…" Lena said in surprise for that was definitely not the response she expected from her daughter.

"I'm fine." Callie assured as she moved out of Lena's reach. "Look, I didn't kill her and I was on the list so I got a heart. It's not like she was a part of my life or anything. I haven't missed her in the last six months so I'm fine."

With that Callie stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door leaving a stunned and terrified Lena behind.


	60. Chapter 60

Lena didn't really know what she expected from Callie when she decided to tell her the truth but she hadn't expected the reaction she received. She knew that Callie had never completely warmed up to Stef but the girl wasn't heartless. She was generally kind and friendly if often reserved… just like Stef. And just like that Lena could see through Callie's act.

Walking through to the bathroom she knocked but opened the door without waiting for a response.

"I said I'm fine." Callie said from the sink where she was washing her face with more soap than generally required. "Can you please just leave me alone?" She almost demanded but Lena could tell she was practically begging.

As Lena thought about it she realized that Callie needed time to process all of this information. It had been hard for her to comprehend when she'd first learned of it and she was an adult but Callie was still a child and Lena couldn't expect her to just blurt out all her feelings until they talked them all through for not only was Callie reserved but she also probably didn't understand her own feelings enough to put it all into words.

"Alright." Lena finally agreed. "But here are the rules - no closing doors, you don't get to skip meals or meds and if you feel anything strange with your heart you come straight to me, understand?" She asked, eying Callie through the bathroom mirror.

"Fine." Callie agreed quickly, desperate for Lena to just leave.

"I'm serious Callie." Lena warned. "It's not a game, you have recovered but that doesn't mean you're completely okay."

"I KNOW." Callie snapped. "I'll tell you okay, just leave me alone."

Lena was once again reminded of Stef because even she had tried hard to hide the hurt she had felt like she was too embarrassed or ashamed to show such vulnerability. Lena immediately softened her stance and smiled softly at Callie. "You can come to me even if you just want to talk." She offered gently, hoping to let Callie know that it was okay to feel whatever she was feeling.

Callie didn't respond but just stared at Lena, waiting for her to finally leave and with a sigh Lena turned and left the room, giving Callie the space she so desperately needed.

* * *

Through the rest of the evening Lena kept a close eye on Callie but kept her distance throughout. Callie seemed to be lost in thought but taking it all in her stride. She finished her homework, ate her dinner and took her medication without a fuss; wished Lena goodnight and even gave her a kiss before heading to her room for the night, leaving the door open just like her mother had asked and when Lena went to check on her Callie was lying very still, breathing very evenly and faking sleep well enough to win an Emmy. But Lena left her alone, hoping that she was doing the right thing by doing what Callie asked.

For hours Lena lay in bed tossing and turning, worrying about Callie; wondering if she truly was stable enough for this. Should have waited until she was older? Did she wait too long already? Would there ever have been a perfect time. Should she have talked to her doctor first and asked him if Callie was well enough, physically, to handle this information. Lena just didn't know and now it was too late to even reconsider. She had no idea how she'd ended up in a place like this to begin with. Four years ago she would never have imagined taking on a ten-year-old with life-threatening heart problems. Two years ago she wouldn't have imagined fighting a biological parent for custody of that child and not even a year ago would she have imagined regretting almost every decision she'd made regarding Stef but here she was, wishing that she had the power to go back in time for there was so many things she would like to change.

Stef had been a good person. She tried to do the right thing by her baby by giving her to a loving family when hers clearly wasn't up for the challenge. She got her life together, built a name and livelihood for herself and then went to make sure that her daughter was happy and safe. Maybe she could have looked for her sooner and saved Callie from suffering the way that she did but Stef herself was just a child and naively believed in the things the adults around her told her. Then, after finding her and learning of her history, Stef stood by Callie and supported her despite the way Callie treated her.

And then there was Lena - she could have done so many things differently. She didn't believe that allowing Stef into Callie's life was the wrong thing to do but instead of constantly worrying about losing Callie's affection to Stef she could have just included her. She realized now that keeping Stef close was only so that she could monitor her interaction with Callie but she now knew that there was a place for Callie in both of their hearts and more importantly, a place for both of them in Callie's.

A sound of things being dropped pulled Lena out of her thoughts as she leaped out of bed and rushed to Callie's room just in time to find her sobbing uncontrollably as she ripped something into tiny pieces. Her drawer open and everything thrown haphazardly on the ground as she had searched franticly for whatever she was currently destroying.

In a flash Lena grabbed Callie and held her tightly in her arms, trapping her enough to stop the movements. Callie thrashed and screamed for Lena to let her go but Lena just held on, refusing to let go of Callie, both so that she didn't hurt herself in her rage and to calm her down before she did damage to her heart. It seemed like it took an eternity but eventually Callie stopped thrashing and screaming until she was just dead weight in Lena's arms, her breathing spasming after crying so hard. A glance at the clock on Callie's bedside table told Lena that it was three-forty-six in the morning. Rocking Callie a little longer Lena watched as Callie began to play with a corner of what was obviously a photograph she'd been destroying. Lena reached out and gently took it out of Callie's hands, and glancing at it she realized that it was a photograph of Stef - one that she didn't even know that Callie had. From what was left of it Lena could tell that it was taken on their boat ride for she could see a part of Stef's face, the water behind her and the coast-line in the distance and it was only now that Lena realized that despite everything, Stef had been important to Callie and she wished that she'd realized it sooner - just another thing to add to her list of regrets.

"I was so mean to her." Callie broke the silence, surprising Lena for she didn't expect Callie to say anything at the moment, let alone something like that. "She apologized like a million times but I wouldn't listen." Callie admitted regretfully.

Lena didn't say anything, afraid that she might cause Callie to close up again. She wanted to know what Callie was thinking and feeling and she needed Callie to let it all out and so she waited for Callie to share on her own terms.

"I wasn't even mad anymore." Callie stated, leaning exhaustedly against Lena. "I was at first, even when she told me the truth about why she gave me away and to whom. But I didn't want her to know that I understood because I wanted her to know how much it hurt to not be wanted by anyone." Callie sniffled as she wiped her runny nose on her sleeve. "I didn't know she was going to just die so soon."

"I know baby, I know." Lena cooed gently, understanding Callie's reasoning completely. Everyone always believed that they had all the time in the world - that the accidents and tragedies would never happen to them - until reality comes and hits you straight in the face.

"She came when I drowned." Callie recalled. "I asked for her and she came and I asked her to stay with me till you came and she did that too, even though I was so mean to her." She said regretfully, remembering the only moment in an entire year where she genuinely connected with Stef.

"She loved you sweetheart." Lena offered, letting Callie know that nothing she did would ever change that. "She knew you were hurting and angry and she understood why you were angry with her. She never blamed you for any of it." She assured, knowing that nothing would have made Stef ever hold a grudge against Callie, or even herself for that matter.

"I never wanted her to take me away from you." Callie said, pausing a moment before admitting something she'd never said to anyone before. "But I didn't want her to leave either. I just wanted everything to stay the way it was." She said, wishing desperately for things to just be simple again.

As Lena looked down at the top of her daughter's head she gave her a little squeeze, wishing she could protect her from all that she was going through but instead she had to hurt her further by sharing even more information - the truth about her own actions towards Stef that resulted in the custody battle and then Stef's disappearance altogether."


	61. Chapter 61

It was only after talking with Max and sharing their individual sides to their story did Lena realized that Stef had wanted exactly the same thing that Callie seemed to have wanted as well - a relationship. She hadn't been looking for custody, even partial, until Lena stubbornly ruined it all by throwing the first stone. All Stef had wanted was a chance to know her daughter but when Lena took out a restraining order against her Stef felt threatened and fought back, just as afraid as Lena had been.

"That was my fault." Lena finally said out loud, not sure which was harder to share - the fact that Stef had died and that Callie received her heart or the fact that Lena had a large role to play in Stef's disappearance from Callie's life.

"What?" Callie asked with a frown, wondering what Lena was referring to for she didn't realize she had said anything that warranted an actual answer.

"Stef left again because of me." Lena admitted and looked down at Callie as the girl turned in her arms to look back up at her, her face filled with curiosity and confusion. "There's a lot that you don't know." Lena said and decided to start at the beginning and tell Callie the truth about everything.

Callie listened as Lena told her whatever she could think of right from the moment she decided to stop Stef from leaving the day after they met at the park. She told Callie about how she wanted a family for her, more than just a mother and grandparents. She explained how she and Stef had talked often and the more she learned of Stef the more similarities she spotted between the woman and her daughter. She told Callie about how excited Stef had been about the boating trip and how terrified she'd been when Callie had the attack.

"I think that was the first time she truly understood what being responsible for another person actually meant." Lena said, realizing the fact herself.

"I can't imagine having a baby right now, and she was only a year older than me." Callie said. Having just recently turned fourteen she was now close to the age that Stef was when she had Callie and it was becoming increasingly apparent to her that keeping and raising a baby at this age wasn't as simple as it sounded. "I mean, it's a nice thought right - giving your kid a chance at a full family?"

"Family isn't as black and white as we all imagine." Lena pointed out for the idea of a family that the world forced you to believe in wasn't necessarily the reality for most people. "You don't have a dad, does that upset you?"

"No." Callie responded instantly, without even having to think about it." "But if I had a baby today and you weren't willing to help me I guess I might wonder if a stable family that wants a baby would be a better choice. You always hear of couples who want babies but can't have any of their own. I was just unlucky with my heart but if I was normal then maybe that couple that Stef gave me to would have kept me.

"First, you are normal. No one is perfect but that doesn't make you abnormal." Lena stated frankly, not happy about anyone being judged by things beyond their control. "And second, picking and choosing kids like that isn't right, not even in cases of adoption. If you had been born, just as you are, to them, there was a chance that they still wouldn't have kept you, and that's on them not on you."

"But if they had kept me what do you think would have been better, my biological mother raising me at fifteen with no help or support or an adoptive family that had everything I would need?" Callie asked, still torn by the choices.

"There's never a way to answer questions like that." Lena answered. "We'll never know, even with the information we have now because we don't know what your life would have been like if they had kept you. And everyone wishes they could go back and correct the things they did wrong."

"Like whatever happened between you and Stef." Callie said, bringing Lena back to what she was originally telling Callie.

And so the conversation continued as Lena told Callie about how Stef had worried when Lena told her that she and Callie were going to skip a day of school. Then how excited she'd been to see the pictures of her actually having a great time. Callie had been so upset about that part but Lena imagined that Stef would have been so thrilled to be included in it; to get to witness Callie so carefree and childlike in person. And she said as much to Callie as she mentioned how much Stef had enjoyed shopping with Callie just a short while later which finally brought Lena to the part where things seemed to go downhill.

"When you went to Stef for those clothes I was so upset." Lena admitted. "I was angry that you went behind my back but I was also so hurt that you went to Stef. I know that I pushed you to have a relationship with her but I just felt like I couldn't give you something that you so desperately wanted. Everything has always been about medical needs that sometimes I just wanted to give in and spoil you but I just couldn't afford to do that, not at the time anyway. A whole new look is a lot of money." Lena admitted, making Callie realize for the very first time just how much of a weight fostering her was for Lena.

"I shouldn't have even asked." Callie said with a shake of her head. She was still sitting upright and facing Lena though she was now leaning against her again, the two of them cuddled together on the floor in front of Callie's desk, the drawer's contents still littered around them. "I don't know why it suddenly bothered me so much." She wondered out loud as she realized that her sudden need for a new look came with a bang at Zoey's party.

"Because you were becoming a teenager and behaving just like any typical teenager does." Lena smiled slightly at the irony of the situation. For all the hard work that Callie had put in to just be like the other kids, the truth was that she was already just like them - unhappy with who she was; only seeing what she wanted to see in the others and believed that her way was the only way change things. "Anyway, I didn't believe that you needed anything new and I didn't think it was right for you to go to Stef considering the way you'd been treating her and the fact that you knew she wanted to do stuff for you. But when you actually did go to her - for whatever your reasons - I was hurt and I think that's when I truly began regretting letting her have a relationship with you."


	62. Chapter 62

"I'm sorry." Lena finally said as she gently stroked Callie's hair, trying to offer as much comfort as she could, not that she had a lot to offer at the moment herself.

The girl was now once again turned away from her, processing everything that Lena was telling her. It was a lot to take in and in some ways it didn't even seem real for Stef's absence in her life wasn't sudden. In her mind she still felt like the woman was off in San Francisco living her life in a huge mansion with a chauffeur, a maid and a butler.

"I got the ball rolling." Lena continued with her explanation. "We argued that day after you'd drowned and I blamed her for not coming to babysit you and I blamed her for your change in attitude and I know I was wrong because I know you were tired and I guess if that last adoption had happened then maybe you wouldn't have been so depressed." Lena still wondered how much of that was true for while the adoption would have put an end to one of Callie's biggest fears, it would not have changed her condition nor her transformation into teen-hood. "But the truth is that she was everything to me." Lena continued, not even sure what she was going to divulge and what she planned to keep to herself for even she was voicing these thoughts and feelings for the first time. "She was like a second parent and I loved having that - someone to share the triumphs and tribulations with. Grandma and Grandpa love you so much but Stef was the only one who truly understood my feelings for you. But she didn't believe I was doing the right thing. She thought I was being too lenient with you. And she was right - I was letting too much slide because I was so afraid that you would hate me more than you already did. I wanted so much for you to pick me over her that I was too afraid to get angry with you and so I got angry with her instead and it just escalated from there. And when she was there for you when I couldn't be I was even more angry and so I took out a restraining order against her and I stopped her from seeing you."

"I didn't want to see her either." Callie spoke up, remembering that day when Stef so confidently stated that she could raise Callie better and Lena had very easily offered her the chance to try. "I was so scared that you were really going to give me to her. I didn't want her, I wanted you, even if you had locked me in my room and never let me out again."

"But that's what prompted her to start the custody battle." Lena explained. "She never had any plans to take you from me, she just wanted a relationship with you and when I threatened to take that away from her, she fought back."

"But eventually she dropped it." Callie reminded Lena wondering why Stef would go through all that trouble to just give up before the actual battle even began.

"When she saw what it was doing to you she realized that it was wrong. She wanted to do the best for you and she saw that trying to take you from me would only hurt you further. It wasn't easy for her to just let go but she did it because she loved you so much. I'm not saying that she didn't try to find a way around it but when she realized that this was the only way then she accepted it. She promised never to come back and ruin your life again and she never did. She just left us alone."

Once again a silence settled for a few minutes as they were both lost in their thoughts. Lena toiling with the idea of going on with the story and Callie wondering if she regretted, even for a moment, that Stef had just walked away without so much as a backward glance.

"But when you were getting worse I had to do something." Lena decided to come clean. She'd gotten this far and it was only fair to both Stef and Callie to tell the girl the whole truth. No good would come of it if Callie found out years from now from somebody else. "You weren't adopted yet and the state will save every penny it can so when you needed the transplant I wasn't gonna let them assign you to some crappy hospital with overworked, underpaid doctors. I wanted the best for you but I couldn't afford it so I went to Stef."

"And she paid." Callie suddenly realized. She had never questioned how she'd gotten the best after care, a personal nurse and how Lena had the luxury of staying home with her for weeks after. She was just a kid and she didn't think about the finances or where the money came from. But her mother did - both of them.

"She agreed to pay." Lena affirmed. But this was where Lena's lips truly began to quiver as tears filled her eyes for this was the moment that she regretted the most in their story. "And I still asked her to stay away." She admitted with more regret than ever before. "I didn't want you to see her and get so scared or angry and ruin your chances. I refused to let her come and see you."

Callie couldn't bear to turn and look at Lena despite the obvious fact that Lena was crying. She wasn't sure how she felt about all of this. On the one hand she wished that she could have had one last chance to correct things with Stef but on the other - Lena had been right - at the time Callie wanted absolutely nothing to do with Stef.

"I made her feel guilty for putting you in that position in the first place and ruining your life over and over again and she agreed to pay and still leave us alone. But all she ever wanted was to make it up to you - and she did. She's the reason that your adoption finally happened so suddenly. She arranged for it because she believed it was the only way to truly make it up to you. I can't even imagine just how much that must have crushed her." Lena said, her voice quivering as she imagined the pain of watching Callie be adopted by someone else.

"It's the only thing I wanted." Callie said, still not looking at Lena but offering whatever little comfort she could. "I wanted you to adopt me."

"I had no idea that she had died." Lena went on, forcing through before she lost her nerve. "I never even imagined that it was her heart that you were getting. I had promised to let her know when the transplant was to happen and how you were doing in exchange for her leaving us alone and I just went outside to ca…" Lena sobbed as she remembered that day vividly - one moment over the moon that Callie had come through surgery and eager to share it with Stef and the next, heartbroken over the fact that she'd lost the chance of ever making things right with the woman that she loved. "But Max answered instead and the world just came crashing down."

A long silence surrounded them then as Lena cried copiously while Callie tried to wrap her mind around it all and imagine the picture that Lena was painting for her. Neither knew what to say, neither truly knew what to feel but both desperately wished for a chance to go back in time and change the things they did wrong.

"I loved her." Lena finally admitted into the silence. She surprised herself by the admission for that was one thing that she had truly planned to never share with Callie but somehow, along with the rest of the story it came out and just like with everything else she had to just brace herself for her daughter's reaction. "I was in love with her but it was just my pride and jealousy that kept me from ever telling her that."


	63. Chapter 63

Lena had completely surprised herself by admitting those feelings to Callie but what surprised her even more was Callie's response…

"I loved her too." The young girl said without seemingly batting an eye at her mother's confession. "When I drowned I was so scared and she was there and I didn't want her to leave me. I needed her to stay with me and she did." Callie admitted, somewhat surprised at the fact. "And I was happy." She continued. "I mean, I wanted you there but having here was sort of like having another mom with me. If she hadn't threatened to take me away from you that day then I think I would have liked us to be a family."

And once again Lena was taken by surprise. Her gaze instantly snapped to the top of her daughter's head as she tried to understand what Callie was saying. She had expected her to be upset, or at the very least, surprised by Lena's admission but Callie just seemed to have assumed it. "A family?" Lena questioned cautiously, wondering what exactly Callie meant when she imagined it.

"She did so much for us…" Callie pointed out. "She must have loved us too right?" She asked, learning, for the first time, what 'actions speak louder than words' truly meant.

"She did." Lena assured her daughter. "She loved us both, Max told me that she did."

"I understand now what you meant about having no one but you." Callie said, changing course slightly and while Lena couldn't quite follow Callie's train of thought, she was sure that it made sense in Callie's mind. "If something happens to you now, I won't have anyone again. Grandma and grandpa are still old and Stef isn't there any more and we don't know anything about her family."

"I don't want you to worry about that." Lena said firmly as she brushed Callie's hair out of her face and kissed the side of her head. "I know that I can't promise that something won't happen but things are different now. Stef left you a lot of money and Max helped me set it all up for you so that you will always be taken care of. If something were to ever happen to me then you will get small sums of money regularly and no one can ever take it from you - not if you're adopted or married or anything. It will only come to you." Lena explained, trying to give Callie a sense of security. "And Max will always help you, I know he will."

"What if I die?" Callie asked. The possibility of her dying had always been at the back of her mind, considering her medical history and even though her transplant seemed to have worked seamlessly, the thought wasn't completely gone. "Who gets it then?"

"Charity." Lena answered. "It'll be donated to help other kids with problems or no families." Knowing that both Callie and Stef would like that idea - both of them being equally bighearted and concerned about others less fortunate than themselves.

"It won't go to the wrong hands?" Callie questioned for reassurance.

"No." Lena assured. "Max did all this for us because he loved Stef."

"I thought she loved him." Callie said, their conversation suddenly jumping back to where they had left it.

"He loved her." Lena corrected. "But she loved us." She added, remembering Max sharing that with her.

"I never knew her long and I feel miserable that she's gone. Max has known her for years and I can't even imagine what he must be feeling; or her parents, I guess." Callie sympathized.

"It's a pain I was so afraid of feeling when you needed the transplant." Lena admitted, trying to explain it to Callie. "The thought that I wouldn't ever see you again…" She trailed off, too afraid to even put the feelings into words.

"And they never even saw it coming." Callie stated. All her life there was the possibility of her dying but Stef was just going to work on a regular day just like any other. How was anyone able to wrap their minds around something so drastic as that?

"Nothing can prepare you for that type of heartache." Lena corrected. She knew that there was the possibility of Callie dying but she also knew that it would, in no way, make the pain from the loss any easier. "The pain from losing someone you love is unimaginable." She said.

"I know." Callie whispered as the reality finally began to sink in and she once again began to cry. She knew exactly what Lena meant by that statement because she lost her mother and even though she didn't know her very well or for very long, she still missed her and her heart still ached for her.

"I'm so sorry baby." Lena said gently as she rocked Callie in her arms, trying to comfort her as best she could. "I'm so sorry for your loss. I never meant to push her out of your life."

"I know." Callie replied, sinking deeper into Lena's arms. "I understand though." She assured.

Lena and Callie stayed like that for a while, letting the emotions take over. They allowed themselves to feel the pain from losing someone they loved; from accepting that they would never be able to right their wrongs and coming to terms with the new reality.

"You are so grown up." Lena finally said as a sense of peace washed over her now that everything was out in the open and she had no more secrets left to carry. "I've been so afraid to tell you this but you've been so mature about it." She praised gently, thinking back to how Callie might have reacted to this just few short years ago.

"Yeah well, one thing I've learned from all of this is to forgive those you love." Callie said, sounding more like a forty year old rather than a fourteen year old. "You never know how much time you have left with them."

"She would have been so proud of you." Lena said, tears once again filling her eyes as she admired her daughter. "I know that because I'm just as proud of you myself."

The two continued to cry together in silence for the woman they never opened their hearts too until it was too late and the future they would now never get to share with her.

* * *

After what seemed like an eternity, both Lena and Callie were all cried out and both were leaning heavily against the foot of Callie's bed, totally spent from the crying and the emotion. By now it was almost eight in the morning and the sun was already streaming through Callie's window. Lena knew that neither of them had it in them to function through the day and so she sent Callie to brush her teeth while she called them both in sick from school and explained the reason.

The two ate a very mundane breakfast of toast, butter and cheese. Callie still needed to take her medication and Lena had not one but two cups of black coffee for she'd been up all night and she knew she would need as much help as she could get to get them both through the day.

Callie was rather quite and contemplative through the rest of the morning. The two of them spent most of it in front of the television, watching nothing in particular while Callie would occasionally ask Lena questions that Lena didn't always have the answers to. When she'd first found out about Stef's death she'd been too upset and regretful about Stef to ask for any details besides the obvious but her biggest concern at the time had still been Callie and as a result of that she hadn't dug for too much information.

"You think she thought of me?" Callie asked as Who's The Boss played on though neither of them were paying any attention to the show. "You think she was mad at me? You think she died because I needed a heart?"

"WHAT?" Lena asked in surprise. She never imagined that Callie would consider such a thing for neither of them believed in greater forces that made such things happen.

"I've been able to feel it all day." Callie explained. "My heart…" She clarified. " _Her_ heart." She corrected. "I can feel it beating inside me and I hate it."

"Don't say that." Lena said, her heart aching for her daughter. "Honey, believe me when I tell you that she would have wanted nothing else."

"I don't deserve it." Callie replied. It was one thing to get an organ that would save your life from someone who was already dead but it was another thing entirely to get it from someone you'd been so unkind to from the moment you met them.

"Yes you do." Lena said firmly. "You definitely deserve it because she loved you with all her heart and there is no one in the world she would have wanted to get it more than you. Callie, Max did this for her because he knew it would make her happy. Ever beat you feel is her, inside of you, still loving you."

As the tears slowly made their way down Callie's face her hand made it's way up to her chest where she could now physically feel each heartbeat, not just the psychological beats that her mind made her believe in.

Lena's hand slowly covered her own as the older woman entwined her fingers with her daughter's. "She's always going to be with you Callie." Lena explained softly. "I know she loved you because if I could have, I would have given you my own heart."

* * *

"I never really knew anything about her." Callie said later that day after she and Lena had quick lunch of soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. "I don't know where she lived or her family's names. I don't even know my father's name." She said regretfully. It's wasn't that she was interested in any of them but simply in the people in Stef's life. "I didn't know anything and I never even bothered to ask. What did she like to eat? What was her favorite color?"

"I don't know most of that either." Lena replied as she pulled out two ice-cream sticks from the freezer, the treat more than required on such a day. "But I do know that you two were a lot alike." Lena smiled affectionately. "I took her to the Bread Basket one day and she ordered your sandwich…" She paused for dramatic effect. "WITHOUT ONIONS!" She added, still completely shocked that their taste in food was literally identical.

"Any sane person hates onions mom." Callie grinned back teasingly though in reality she cherished that small detail that just the two of them shared.

"I also know her parents names are Frank and Sharon and she had no brothers or sisters." Lena continued to share whatever she could about Callie's biological mother. "I don't know about your birth father though. I could ask Max, maybe he would know." She stated, wondering if that's what Callie wanted. "Do you want to try and find him?" Lena asked, unsure of what answer she wanted from her daughter.

"Not really." Callie answered honestly though she did give it a moment to think about it. "Do you talk to Max often?" She asked then, wondering if maybe there were other answers about Stef that Max could give her.

"Not often." Lena replied. "We did, right in the beginning when we was setting up all the money for you but not so much now."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Callie wondered. She knew that she'd just had surgery and she knew that wasn't the time but over the months since she was fully recovered.

"Baby, you needed time to recover." Lena answered apologetically. "You were so sick and I didn't want to take a chance. There was nothing either of us could do so I wasn't going to risk it. I didn't even know until after the surgery. Max waited until it was over to tell me and the hospital wasn't allowed to divulge that information."

"What about her funeral?" Callie questioned, "Did you go for it?"

"No." Lena replied. "You were still in the hospital and I couldn't leave you. Stef would have understood that."

"And her parents?" Callie asked, wondering what they thought of all of this, if they even knew about it.

"I don't know." Lena answered. "I've never spoken to them."

"So that's just it." Callie asked with a miserable shrug. "It's all over? SHe's gone and I have no connection to her anymore?"

"She will always be your mother." Lena assured. "And she will always love you and you can love her too. Just because she died doesn't mean that you can't love her."

"But she'll never know it." Callie said miserably, gritting her teeth from the anger she felt towards herself. "She won't know that I wanted her to stay."

"She will." Lena assured. "She already knows that you love her - she's smart, just like her little girl." She offered kindly.

Suddenly Lena jumped up as she thought of something important that she'd forgotten about. "Wait here a minute." She instructed as she disappeared into her room and came back a few moments later armed with a cardboard box. "Max left this for you. He said it was very important to Stef." Lena said as she handed Callie the box that she'd never opened.

Lena watched as Callie carefully, cautiously opened the box, nervous about what she would find inside. But a small, sharp gasp from the girl made Lena's heart stop as Callie pulled out the wind chimes that Stef had bought for her on their very first outing together.

Callie told Lena about them and how she'd refused to go back for them after the scene that Stef had made on the boat when Callie had a breathless episode. "I never knew she went back for them."

Lena watched as Callie gently brushed her fingers lovingly through the strings of shells and in that moment she realized that both Stef and Callie had secretly held on to that one special day - Stef, by treasuring the wind chimes and Callie with the picture of Stef on the boat.


	64. Chapter 64

They say that time heals all wounds and Callie had learned that it was true. But luckily for her it didn't heal all scars for each and every day, after her shower, she would stand in front of the mirror and look at her naked chest and gently run her fingertips along the faded line where her mother's heart had been put into her. This small act that originally brought tears to Callie's eyes now, six months since learning about Stef's accident, Callie cherished that scar and the connection it held to her mother.

It hadn't been an easy ride - she'd swung from being angry and regretful to feeling guilty and undeserving of the heart that beat inside of her. She had become increasingly afraid of losing Lena in an equally fluke and surprising way and hated to be apart from her for more than a few minutes at a time for no amount of money could replace the loss of a loved one. She would spend nights crying copiously and whispering apologies and promises to a woman she was told would now watch out for her for the rest of her life but it did little to ease the pain she felt. But slowly, over time, those apologies turned to gratitude for all that Stef had done for her and the promises became acts of kindness and compassion that she shared with those around her. Unfortunately it had taken Stef's death to make both Lena and Callie realize just how important family, and people in general, were. Lena had told Callie everything, and that gave both of them a little bit of closure for neither of them had to hide anything anymore. Both of them had learned to live with their mistakes and each day they tried not to repeat them. Thanks to digital copies, she was able to replace the picture of Stef that now had pride of place on her nightstand and tucked into the back of the frame was the note that Stef had written to Lena on the day that Callie was adopted.

When Callie found out about the money left in her name she vowed to do good with it. It was definitely enough to give her a bright future and she was going to use it to change the world. She decided then and there that she was going to be a marine biologist and each day that she was out on the water she would think of Stef. Apart from the money, Callie also inherited Stef's half of the company that she would receive on her twenty-first birthday. Stef's apartment was another thing that was given to Lena and Callie but it was closed up for now for Lena didn't know what she wanted to do with it just yet. Max had offered to sell it for them but Lena wasn't ready for that. She wanted to hold on to all of it, for now at least.

* * *

Max and Lena had hardly spoken in the last ten months. As promised, Max had taken care of all Callie's medical payments and then created a plan for Lena with the remaining money and assets and then handed in all over to her but since then the contact between the two had been minimal so when Max's name flashed across Lena's phone almost a year after Callie's transplant she was rather surprised.

* * *

"You think they really want us here?" Callie asked nervously, biting her lip and fidgeting with her thumb nail - actions that Lena now cherished. "They were never interested before.

"They invited us, didn't they?" Lena said supportively as she took Callie's hand and squeezed tight as they made their way off the airplane in San Francisco.

"Give them a chance." Dana offered kindly from behind them. "But don't be disappointed if this meeting isn't what you hope it to be. They are also grieving the loss of their daughter." She added, slightly nervous for the child herself.

"You can do this." Steward added his support. "And we're all here with you."

The four of them made their way through the airport in search of Max who had offered to come an pick them up and take them to Stef's old apartment. He had had it cleaned up and readied for their arrival and all four of them were eager to see the home.

* * *

"WOW!" Callie exclaimed as she entered Stef's large apartment with a view she'd never seen before in her life. "This looks like something from a movie."

"Stef loved this apartment." Max said with a smile as he gave them a tour of Stef's room that had now been set up for Lena and the two guest rooms that Callie, Dana and Stewart would be occupying. "Big balcony and tiny kitchen, just her style." He laughed. "She wasn't much of a cook - she would find a way to burn water if I ever left her in the kitchen long enough."

All four of them were listening to Max tell them bits and pieces of Stef's life as he showed them the apartment. Callie explored a bit, opening and closing things though she felt a bit awkward doing so since she felt she was invading someone else's privacy.

"Did she read all these books?" Callie asked in amazement when she noticed the floor to ceiling bookshelf in the hallway outside Stef's bedroom.

"Most of them, I'm sure." Max replied. "Reading good literature is a requirement of our upbringing. But a lot of these down here are law books. We used a lot of them for reference."

"What else did she like to do?" Callie asked curiously. This was the first time she was able to ask questions of someone who actually had all the answers and she wasn't about to let the opportunity pass.

"She'd sit on her balcony with a book and a glass of wine almost every evening." Max began to explain. "She also loved those lovey-dovey Hallmark movies; would sit and watch them and finish an entire box of chocolate all by herself. Christmas was her favorite though." He recalled. "She'd go out of her way to decorate and make everything all lit up and festive. She'd have carols playing right from the beginning of November and well into the new year. She has a huge decoration collection down in the storage unit at the firm - a lot of our personal stuff is stored down there since it's so huge for all our legal work. All our college stuff, things from our childhood are all stored there as well."

Everyone listened and both Lena and Callie found themselves wondering what they would find in those boxes - what did Stef cherish and what were her treasures.

"Puppies." Max suddenly continued. "That was another thing she loved. She always wanted to get a little golden retriever or a chocolate lab but she knew with the long hours she worked it wouldn't have been fair to the dog. She liked to go to Golden Gate park and just sit and people watch. She'd do that often when she had to come up with strategies and plans for a case. She said it cleared her mind enough to find answers without forcing it."

"Callie loves the Botanical Garden back home." Lena smiled as she glanced at Callie. "They both seemed to like nature."

"Oh, Stef had her dark side." Max added grinning. "Bugs, insects, spiders, cats - not her thing. She loved to ride as a child but fell off a horse once when she was about fourteen and broke her leg and was too afraid to try again. And if you ever mentioned the word camping I think she would shoot you." He continued. "She said there was nothing fun about lying on the muddy ground in the middle of nowhere when there was a very comfortable bed waiting for her at home."

"I agree." Dana laughed. "I like to sleep in my bed and use a proper toilet not a hole in the ground like a dog."

"I don't know…" Stewart disagreed. "I've never been camping but I wouldn't mind giving it a try. What do you say Callie?" He asked his granddaughter for support.

"I don't know." Callie answered skeptically. "I think I'm with grandma on this one."

"Traitor." Stewart teased lightheartedly. "Camping is just for us menfolk right Max." He asked, one last attempt at not making a fool of himself.

"I don't know." Max replied apologetically. "I'm quite the city man myself." He admitted and the room erupted with laughter as Stewart shook his head in disappointment though he did wrap his arm around Callie and gave her a squeeze.

And with that the ice was broken and everyone had a great rest of the evening. Max had stocked the kitchen with meals and fruit and snacks and Stef's movie collection kept them entertained. Max also showed them around some of Stef's personal belongings - photographs, medals and certificates, memories and such and reminded Lena and Callie that it belonged to them now and that they could take whatever they wished to keep.

Callie asked about her father but Max apologized and replied that he knew very little about the man. He told them about how he'd only learned of Stef's child after Stef had decided to look for her and from what she had told him - the father and his family wanted nothing to do with the baby and encouraged her to have it aborted. He could see the sadness and hurt in Callie's eyes and he could see Stef in that expression. The day she had told him about her baby and several times since when things hadn't worked out in her favor with Callie, Stef had had that same dejected look in her eyes. He gently reached out and lifted her chin with his finger, much like a father would do with his child, and smiled softly at her. "It's his loss." He offered sympathetically. "He lost out on loving a wonderful little girl."

Callie smiled appreciatively as her family agreed with Max wholeheartedly but all that did little to settle the butterflies in her stomach as she tossed and turned that night for in just a few short hours Callie was about to meet the grandparents who never even wanted her in the first place.


	65. Chapter 65

Lena and Callie were equally nervous as they followed Max into the church where the memorial service was to be held - exactly one year since the day that Stef had died. Stewart detangled his arm from his wife's and took a few quick steps forward to catch up to his daughter and granddaughter and put a supportive arm around each of them. He knew this was a big day for them both and he couldn't even imagine what Callie must have been feeling - these were virtually her family but people who just handed her off without batting an eye. He hoped, for her sake, that they were at least kind. But he did have a good feeling about it for they had extended the invitation to his family.

Finally the five of them walked through the massive doors of the church and smiled as they took in the very elegantly decorated isle - there were white flowers tied with pearl-white satin ribbons on each of the pews and several large bouquets littered the alter, obviously brought in by various guests. Soft, instrumental hymns played through the speaker system and the sun streamed through the beautiful stained glass window that gave the room a radiant glow. But it was the blown up image of Stef at the alter that instantly grabbed their attention for it was none other than the picture that Callie had taken on the boat.

Stef was leaning against the railing looking out across the water, her hair flowing to one side behind her, away from the camera, giving Callie a clear shot of her face. There was a very slight smile on her face but her eyes were sparkling, showing that she was, in fact, enjoying herself. The sun was obviously behind the camera and it gave her blond hair a light, gold look and made the green in her hazel eyes stand out. In that moment Stef looked happy, relaxed and free and that was exactly how Frank and Sharon wanted everyone to remember their daughter.

But within moments their attention was diverted for Max quickly gave them warning that Frank Foster was heading their way. Looking up they all watched a large, well dressed man walk purposely towards them and Callie had to fight the urge to hide behind Lena. This man was headed straight towards her and she had no idea what to say or do.

But she didn't even have a chance to figure it out for the moment the man was within arms reach he grabbed a hold of Callie and gave her a tight, bone-crushing hug that left Callie so stunned that she couldn't even think coherently. It seemed to be an eternity before he released Callie and held her at arms length so that he could get a good look at her and Callie was even more surprised to find tears pouring down his face despite being surrounded by nearly a hundred people including family, friends, co-workers and clients.

"I'm Frank Foster, the stupidest man alive and I sincerely hope you take after your mother." Stef's father introduced himself as he stared longingly at Callie.

Callie smiled slightly, still a bit shocked and overwhelmed by the event. She wasn't sure what she'd expected from her biological grandfather but one thing was certain - she hadn't expected any of this."

A moment later a shorter, but just as well dressed woman stepped forward and gave Callie a much more gentle, maternal hug. "I'm Sharon." She said with a small smile. "I'm so glad you all could come."

Max then made formal introductions and Frank and Sharon thanked Lena and her parents several times for accepting their invitation and coming all the way. They told Callie that they were so happy to learn that her surgery was a success and that she was making a complete recovery and they couldn't be happier that Stef's heart was donated to the one person she loved the most.

An awkward pause filled the air between them all and so Max gave Stef's parent's a hug and then ushered Callie and her family towards the first pew that was reserved for them. With everyone of importance now in attendance, the service was about to begin.

* * *

After the sermon and a short prayer in honor of Stef, Frank walked up to the alter with something to say.

"…The truth was that I'd lost Stef a long time ago when I made the biggest mistake of my life." He concluded as he glanced to Callie, wishing that he'd had the honor of knowing the girl right from the time she was born. "I never tried to make amends, not in the way that she needed and I will regret that for the rest of my life. It took my daughter's death to finally understand the pain she felt at saying goodbye to her own child and wherever she is now, I hope she knows just how truly and deeply sorry I am for putting her through that. I have loved her every single day of her life and now I will love her daughter for the rest of mine. The main purpose of having this memorial service was because this time everyone is here and I believe that Stef deserve to have everyone she cared about to be together, at least once, to honor her memory."

Everyone clapped as Frank walked back to his seat next to his wife and held her hand - both of them mourning for their own little girl, wishing that they had another chance to hold her and tell her that they loved her.

As it seemed that the service was coming to an end and the reverend was about to say a closing prayer, Lena jumped up and requested to say a few words.

Feeling nervous for she hadn't exactly planned what she wanted to say, Lena headed up to the alter and gave herself a moment to gather her thoughts.

"Callie's doctors had told us about donor families finding peace in the knowledge that their loved one lived on in the lives that they'd saved." Lena began, settling for just going with what she was feeling. "I couldn't think of a more appropriate person to receive Stef's heart for even at fifteen Stef was able to see that, alone, she couldn't be the type of mother that Callie deserved and while things hadn't turned out the way that Stef had hoped, she had the very best of intentions towards her baby girl despite the ferocious pain it brought her."

As Callie sat between her two grandmothers and listened to Lena relate their time with Stef, her left hand absentmindedly made it's way to her right wrist to the Tiffany bracelet that one mother had given her and that her other mother had had repaired for her. She would treasure it forever for it was the only thing that truly linked all three of them together.

"…Each one of us has regrets; mistakes that we wish we could correct but unfortunately life doesn't always give us that chance. But Stef had such a big heart that even in death, she was able to reconcile a broken family."


	66. Chapter 66 - Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

First of, like always, thanks for reading and reviewing, it makes writing so much more fun. I know this story wasn't an easy read and I can assure you it wasn't easy to write either but thank you so much to all of you who stuck with me anyway. I appreciate all the support and while some people were unhappy with the way it all ended, they were all very polite and supportive in their comments. To the few reviewer who stopped reading when Stef died (and they probably won't read this either) I was sorry to have seen you go, but thanks for reading all my other work and the next stories will be the happy ones everyone wants.

I've been very eager to write this authors note for I have so, so much I want to say about this story. Let me begin by saying that this wasn't the original ending - that was a 'happily ever after' and for those of you who dreamed of a Stef and Lena ending, I will be posting that as a separate story called Regrets and Reconciliations (Original Ending). It will begin at the point where Callie's surgery is over, Lena walks out of the hospital for a breath of fresh air and decides to call Stef just like in this story, only this time - Stef will answer. :-)

This sad, but still meaningful ending was actually an idea given to me my the ever-talented **meyouthem123** who originally wondered if that was my plan. I loved the idea and just had to go with it. But believe me, it wasn't easy for I love Stef more than anyone and every single one of my stories involves her as a major roll and killing her off was just as heartbreaking for me as it was for the rest of you. But I still wanted to do it because it was something never done before - not in this way at least - and it was bold and different and a new experience for me and in all honestly - life isn't always butterflies and rainbows.

Before I posted the chapter where it was revealed that Stef was the donor I had considered making it a dream Lena had while waiting for the surgery to end but then when I got several reviews asking and hoping for that to be the case I changed my mind. One reviewer (I'm sorry I don't remember who) pointed out that life didn't work that way and sometimes you just have to live with the mistakes you make. It was sad and depressing but it happens so I decided to just leave it at this and post the happily ever after as a separate story.

Apart from the ending - the entire story didn't quite turn out the way I envisioned it in the beginning. When I first thought of it there was supposed to be a lot more tension and stress right from the start which was why the summery said - came face to face in a battle for the same child. But as I began posting several of you hated Stef and wanted her to just leave Lena and Callie alone which is not what I wanted - I wanted people to like Stef because she was just a child when she gave up her baby and that didn't mean that she didn't love her. That's when I decided to make Lena more open to the idea of Stef in Callie's life and that sort of changed the storyline and I brought the original idea back in when Callie finally showed some interest in Stef but Lena associated the decline in Callie's behavior and health with Stef's arrival.

Max and the kids in Callie's class weren't trying to be bad guys. The kids were just being kids, oblivious to the struggles of issues that they didn't face and consequences weren't something they thought about before they acted, much like every other adolescent in the world. Max was also not out to hurt anyone. He was just a boy that grew up in a very privileged lifestyle and his relationship with his family wasn't as strained as Stef's relationship with hers so he hadn't really faced the kind of struggles that the rest of them had. He was supportive, especially of Stef because he loved her and because she was his friend and he knew how hurt she was about the whole Callie situation, right from the time she had to give her up and so he encouraged her to try again. He wasn't looking to break up a family and he didn't grudge Stef's obvious attraction towards Lena for though he loved her, he knew that she didn't love him back and he wanted her to be happy. I really don't want people to dislike him for his choices and his actions for he meant well.

My most nagging struggle in changing the way the story was going from the 'Happily Ever After' to the death of Stef was the title - All my titles associate with the story some way and I didn't like that the title would no longer fit the story for if Stef died then there was no reconciliation, only regrets. But I wanted to end it like this and I kept trying to find a way to make it work and when I did - I was thrilled. Once I post something I don't like to go back and make changes except for spelling or grammatical mistakes or basic typos. I don't rewrite chapters because I'm not happy with how they came out or because I need something to be different in order for the story to progress. Once it's posted - it is what it is and I have to work around that. (I'm a bit of a perfectionist like that).

On that note - I also don't do warnings, hints, spoilers and I very seldom do author's notes in between chapters because I feel it ruins the flow of the story. The ratings are there just for that and while I did not describe Stef's death in any detail and I felt that T was still appropriate, I did change it to M before posting the chapter just to be on the safe side.

The project was another struggle for me as I wanted it to be meaningful and powerful since it was hyped up so much in the story and it took a while for me to put it all together and I'm glad that my readers liked it. One reviewer even mentioned that I (and not Callie) had put it well so thank you for that.

Callie's reaction to finding out the truth about her transplant was my biggest struggle of all for that alone could become a multi-chapter story but that's not what I wanted. Yes she was upset, yes she felt guilty but we just didn't see it all in detail just like with Lena. Instead of that I wanted to show how these experiences changed each of them forever and how they evolved from all of this. Time does heal all wounds and just like in the story - they don't heal all scars and those scars are what reminds us to forgive ourselves and make amends by doing better the next time round.

The best part about this story was how vastly different all the reviews were. In most stories everyone wants things to go in one particular direction but this time I had so many people wanting so many different things right from the start. At first some wanted Stef gone and others wanted her to say. Some hated Callie's behavior while other's felt it was warranted. Several of you wanted Stef and Lena to get together but some surprisingly didn't want that and my favorite was when Lena approached Stef for money - everyone wanted different things. Some felt Lena was horrible and inappropriate; some understood her reasoning; some still wanted them together. I even had some reviews saying that they were glad that Stef and Lena won't end up together because it didn't seem right and the most shocking - I'm glad that Stef died because I don't want her with those two scumbags. I've never had reviews like this before and with each chapter I posted, the reviews were just as thrilling as all the cliffhangers I love so much.

Lastly, I want to say that I've uploaded an image for this story and it's Callie's drawing for her project. I'm not sure if you've noticed it or not since I posted it after I posted the presentation chapter. I did not draw the image myself but I googled all the separate images - a faceless girl (that just happened to look a lot like Callie - Bonus), An alphabet background, a broken heart and a bandaid. I then put it all together, converted it to black and white and poof!

So once again, thank you so much for reading and reviewing and to most of you for staying despite it been much more sorrowful than you wanted. **Regrets and Reconciliations (Original Ending)** is coming up next and **History** will continue as will **Torn Asunder** and **Far From Home**. I just loved this story so much and I was so invested in it that I've been focusing on it entirely.

Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

Love Junebug.


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